The Boy Who Murdered Love
by xxBadRomancexx
Summary: When Bella meets her match in Paul, will she be able to tame him? Or will his recklessness drag her down too? Dark Imprint Story.    *It went away for a while, but its back now*
1. Crush Crush Crush

"_Scream for me baby" he whispered huskily into my ear, whilst biting down on my earlobe._

_I couldn't believe I was doing this, I had only met this guy less than an hour ago and I was already on my hands and knees taking his full length inside of me. _

"_Oh god….Don't stop….Right there….Harder!" I cried as a clutched the sheets between my fingers. _

_He was a complete mystery. I knew exactly why I had been desperate to touch him in the bar. His golden skin and jet black hair were beyond beautiful, and his deep chocolate eyes called out to me like beacons in the distance. All I knew was, this was the best night of my life._

"Bella! Bella!" I heard Jessica screech.

As I lifted my head up off the kitchen table, I realised I must have dozed off. I looked up to find my room mate and best friend Jessica standing before me with her hand on her hip.

"What? Sorry, I fell asleep. I'm pretty tired Jess" I said, groggily.

She took a sharp intake of breath, and I knew it was coming.

"Bella" she whispered softly as she sat down in the chair opposite me.

"I know what your going to say Jess, and I don't want to hear it" I told her firmly as I stood up to make myself a cup of steaming hot coffee.

"Well tough, your going to get it anyway. You cant keep doing this Bella!" She whaled at me.

I rolled my eyes and knew exactly what she was talking about. Ever since that night with _him_, I had been a mess. I had been reckless and my behaviour was definitely _not_ normal. I had been going out to clubs every night, most of the time meeting a different guy just to try and find someone to take my mind off of _him_. It was so fucked up that I didn't even know his name. Now that made me feel like a slut. We had spent hours pleasuring each other, but I hadn't even stopped to ask his name. When I woke up in the morning he was gone. It was almost as if he had never existed. Like I had dreamed it all up in my head.

"Bella, don't walk away from me. You cant ignore me forever! I know that I do my fair share of partying, but hell Bella! Your acting like a crazy girl!" Her voice was full of concern.

"Maybe if you loosened up a little, we could have fun together! Don't get me wrong I love Angela, but shes so uptight! I cant do anything without her reading me the riot act!" I howled back at her.

I heard a small chuckle come from her as I set down my coffee cup in the sink. I spun around to see her momentarily tense face now crippled with glee.

"Okay fine, I have the best idea!" she laughed.

"Whats that Jess?" I asked, my voice full of curiosity.

"Theres a bonfire down at La Push tonight, one of the girls from work invited us but I didn't know if you'd be in any state to go considering you didn't get in until 5am" she explained accusingly.

As I walked into the lounge, I laughed off her previous comment.

"Okay, I'm game. What time does it start?" I asked.

"Um, nine" she replied, looking down at her watch.

"And what time is it now?"

"Seven PM" she answered, with a look of distain on her face.

"Shit, well if we're going, we'd better get on and get ready hadn't we? Whats the right attire for a bonfire? I don't want to get cold, but then I don't want to go dressed as Scott of the Antartic either!" I laughed.

Before I knew it I was being dragged up the stairs by an excited Jessica. She pushed me down on my bed and darted over to my closet.

"Hmm…Not too cold….Not to frumpy" I heard her mumble to herself.

I wondered what kind of people would be at this bonfire. I knew a few of the girls from Jessicas work, but I knew nothing of the residents of La Push.

"Ah Hah!" She said, as I nearly jumped two feet off of the bed.

"Jesus Jess!" I said, catching my breath back.

"Sorry, but these are perfect!" She said excitedly.

I looked to the garments that she was now hanging in front of me. A pair of skin tight stonewash jeans and a scrunched up red top that came a few inches above the belly button and was held together by a few mere strings at the back.

"I like it" I approved.

"Great! Now get showered and put your face on and ill go do the same! God we havent been out together in so long! I cant wait Bells!" she squealed excitedly as she exited my room.

"Ready to go Bella!" I heard Jess shout from downstairs.

I took one last look in the mirror and smiled approvingly. My thick, chestnut brown hear hung over my shoulders in loose waves. My make up was minimal, as always. I grabbed my phone and my leather jacket and made my way downstairs.

"Looking good Bella" Jess smiled.

She was wearing a very short denim mini and a black, lightweight v-neck sweater. Her hair was poker straight and pulled away from her face with a light pink alice band.

"Your not so bad yourself missy" I returned the compliment and we walked out towards Jess' BMW convertible.

Ever since her family had moved away to Chicago, they had constantly showered her in expensive gifts and kept her bank balance up, which I definitely cant complain about. Me and Jess shared everything, money, clothes, you name it we shared it.

"So Jessica, you looking to bag yourself one of those hot La Push guys tonight?" I asked her.

"Oh definitely, have you seen them? They are gorgeous Bella! What about you? Oh wait, no, I already know the answer to that one" she replied, poking her tongue out at me.

"Oh please! Your just as bad as I am and you know it!"

Ten minutes later, we arrived at the beach. I took one last look in the passenger side mirror and stepped out of the car. I could see a fire blazing in the middle of the beach and dozens of people crowded around. Most where quite clearly drunk already. I held out my hand to Jessica and we headed towards the crowd.

"Jess! Bella!" I heard a voice call out to us. It was one of the girls Jess worked with, Leah Clearwater.

"Hi" I smiled.

She handed us both a red plastic cup filled with what looked to be vodka and lemonade.

"Thanks, bottoms up!" I said, pouring the liquid down my throat like I hadn't had a drink in months.

"Whoa there Bella" I heard Leah say, laughing at the same time.

"Come on, come over here. We've got some stuff that your definitely going to want to try. Its grade A stuff. You'll love it" Leah told us, leading us over to a small group of girls sitting around a smaller campfire a few dozen metres away from the main one.

We were greeted by more of Jess' workmates. They were all friendly and welcoming. Leah patted the ground next to her and I sat down with my legs outstretched in front of me.

"So Bella, Jess tells me you've been partying pretty hard lately?" Leah questioned as she reached into her bag for a clear baggie filled with a white powdery substance.

"Not you too, Leah!" I exhaled.

"Hey, I'm not saying anything. I can hardly talk, besides, your young. Enjoy it. That's what I say. I mean, have you seen some of the guys here. I can barely keep my tongue in when I see them walking by" she said, laughing.

She tipped the powder out onto what looked to be an old cd case and split it up into perfect lines with her credit card. She rolled up a dollar bill and bent down to snort the subtance. Cocaine I could only guess.

"God that stuff is amazing. Here Bella!" she squealed at me.

I took the cd case from her and rolled the note up tighter. I bent down and snorted the substance. I immediately felt a buzz surging through my veins. My head felt ten pounds lighter and my heartbeat quickened. I felt amazing.

"Wow. Where did you get that stuff, Leah?" I asked her, giggling.

"Oh just this guy Jared, hes one of those yummies over there" she replied, as I handed the cd case to Jess.

She took it willingly, and followed suit by snorting up her line. She flung her head back in what looked like ecstasy.

"Whoa, fuck" she smiled as she looked over at us.

"Yeah, we'll definitely be needing some more of that" I told them.

"Well, why don't you two girlies come over there with me now? Ive caught them checking us out more than a few times since we've been sat here. Come on" Leah squealed as she pulled me and Jess up to our feet.

As we made our way over to the group of guys standing by the bonfire, I could feel the eyes on us.

As I looked them up and down I took in every detail of their perfectly formed bodies. Muscle upon muscle. I had never seen such a gorgeous looking group of boys in my entire existence.

"Hey boys" Leah said, greeting them with a hug.

"These are my lovely lady friends, Jess and Bella"

"Hey" they all said in what seemed like unison.

I looked over them one by one, there was no doubt about it. They were like something out of a dream.

Then it hit me. They were. They looked just like mystery man. Not anywhere near as beautiful, but still, they were a definite reminder.

"Bella…..Hello….Earth to Bella!" I heard Leah say as I snapped out of it.

"Sorry, I let my mind wander. That stuff is really strong" I replied, my eyes still fixed on the four strking men in front of me.

"Come back for more have we?" The tallest one asked me, I could only guess that this was Jared.

I turned to him and studied his face. His dark locks falling softly over his face.

"Of course. How much have you got?" I asked him.

He chuckled lightly and leaned forward to pull the hair out of my eyes.

"How much do you want? Ill do my very best to sort you out" he told me, his eyes piercing into mine.

"Um…Uh…I don't know. Ive got 50 dollars in my pocket. Give me what you can" I replied, finally tearing my eyes away from his.

I watched as he pulled out two clear plastic baggies from his pocket and handed them over to me.

"Seeing as your pretty, I'll let you have it for free" he told me with a massive smile on his face.

"Thanks Jared. Anyway Bella, this is Embry, Quil and Jacob" she told me, pointing to each one individually.

"Oh, hey guys!" I welcomed them, hugging each one individually.

"Hey Bella" they all said in unison.

I shuffled from side to side nervously. I didn't know why. Usually drink and drugs made me confident, but I was certainly out of my confidence zone.

"So guys, wheres Paul?" Leah asked, nonchalantly.

"He'll be here later, he's with Emily" Embry told her.

"Sams Emily? No way" Leah looked genuinely shocked. I could only guess that this Emily that they were talking about must have been Sams girlfriend.

"Yeah, we know. We promised not to say anything, you know how difficult it is to hide anything from Sam" Jacob answered.

"Jake, not now" Leah scolded him.

What was that about? Some things in life I just didn't understand, and I wasn't about to try now.

"Hey Paul!" I heard Embry shout.

I looked over to where this Paul was coming from and my felt like I had been knocked on my ass.

There he was. My mystery man.

**So what did you think? **

**A couple of things I should explain, I am not a drug user myself but it is necessary in the story for the plotline. Secondly, this will be an imprint story, but a very dark one. There may be a few moments of mush but not many, so you have been warned.**

**Im not sure whether or not you should expect a happy ending yet. You'll have to wait and see, I like to keep people guessing ****J **

**As you can see from the first paragraph of this chapter there will be illicit lemons all the way through. So if your under the age of 18, I suggest you don't carry on any further. If you do, its at your own peril. **

**Anyway, please review, Id love to hear your thoughts. Please be nice J**

**I should upload the second chapter in the next two days. **

**Love you all! Thanks for reading! xxxx**


	2. Hello Old Friend

"_**Hey Paul!" I heard Embry shout.**_

_**I looked over to where this Paul was coming from and my felt like I had been knocked on my ass.**_

_**There he was. My mystery man.**_

I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. There he was. After all of the searching I had done, subconsciously more than anything, he was here standing in front of me. I thought I had seen him look over once or twice, but he didn't seem to recognize me. That hurt me more than anything. I felt like a huge hole had been punched through my chest. Here I was, standing here staring up at him like a mesmerized child, and he didn't seem any the wiser. I felt a hand grip my shoulder and turned to face Jess.

"Bella, what's wrong?" she asked me, looking concerned.

Could I tell her? I didn't know. Would she make a big deal out of it? Talk to him? Ask him why he had just taken off and left me in a hole that I just couldn't seem to drag myself out of.

"I'm fine" I smiled, knowing that I didn't look convincing in the slightest.

"I don't believe you one bit Isabella Swan. Come with me" she said as she dragged me off to where the beach ended and the forest began.

"Spill, now" she demanded as she turned to face me.

She was my best friend, I had to tell her. Even though I knew this could make things a whole lot worse.

"Okay. Well you know that night I told you about. With the guy" I started.

"What night? Which guy?" She asked me, looking confused.

"You know the night, Jess. The guy from the bar in Port Angeles. Well you know that since then I've been pretty fucked up, right?" I asked her, hoping she'd figure out the rest for herself.

"Right?" Clearly she wasn't smart when it came to my cryptic ramblings.

"Paul" I sighed as I let his name fall from my lips.

Her eyes widened and her mouth formed an O shape.

"No way. What the hell? Does he know its you? He didn't even acknowledge you Bella!" She shrieked at me.

Those words stabbed me in the chest, making the hole bigger.

"I know. He didn't recognize me. I meant nothing. Just another notch" I admitted, feeling the sting of tears threatening to fall from my eyes.

I felt a Jess's fingered intertwine with mine.

"Come on, don't let that bastard get to you. We'll make him realise Bella, don't you worry about that" she told me, smiling kindly. I knew there was a reason that this girl was my best friend.

As we walked back over to the group, I felt my heart rate quicken yet again. I was so unbelievably nervous. What if he had noticed me and just decided not to acknowledge me? Had I been that bad? Before him, I had only slept with one other guy. My first boyfriend, Edward, but my encounter with _paul _had been complete bliss compared to my first time. I could tell he was experienced, how could he not have been?

"Jess, I don't think I can do this" I told her, feeling defeated by my insecurities.

She turned to look at me, with a sweet smile on her face.

"Bella, I know what your thinking. We're best friends remember? Your worried that he just doesn't want to talk to you. That he thinks you were awful. Well let me tell you missy, your wrong and I can feel it. We will show him what he's been missing, and by the time we're finished, he'll be begging at your feet"

I chuckled at her complete confidence. I however didn't have such confidence and I often needed a little bit of help. I reached down in my jacket pocket and pulled out the baggie. I lifted a bump onto my little finger and snorted it up quickly.

"Okay, lets go. If he does talk to me and I start to mumble, save me?" I begged.

She laughed as she nodded her head and pulled me by the hand.

"Ladies, what on earth were you doing over there?" Leah asked, squealing excitedly.

"Bella was just telling me about this gorgeous man she met a while ago" Jess replied before I could even open my mouth. What was she doing?

"Oh really, so Bella what's he like?" Leah asked me.

What could I possibly say? I glanced over at him, he was just as if not more gorgeous than he was the night we met. He still hadn't looked over, not to my knowledge anyway. I was about to give some half-assed answer when Jess jumped in.

"Bella's a little shy about talking about him. You see Leah, she met him in a bar. They went back to her place and had mind blowing sex, then she woke up in the morning and he was gone! Like he had disappeared into thin air. Can you believe that?" Jess answered, loudly I might add.

I felt my skin turn to a crimson colour. What was she doing to me? Why was she telling Leah all of this?

That's when it hit me. She wanted _him _to hear. She wanted _him_ to know that we were talking about him. She wanted _him _to notice me.

"Fuck him Bella. If he's too stupid to see that he had a hot ass girl, his for the taking, then he doesn't deserve you" Leah told me. I had to smile at that.

"Hey Leah" I heard a husky voice call. It was _his _husky voice.

The same husky voice that had whispered in my ear that night and had cried out in pleasure while we fucked.

"Oh hey Paul!" She replied.

Oh god. She was friends with him. Great.

"And who are these sexy ladies?" he asked.

He really didn't recognize me? I was nothing to him. He didn't even remember.

That's when I knew I had to walk away.

"Jess, I'm gonna go get a drink okay?" I told her as I walked away, wrapping my leather jacket around me in a protective manner.

I walked over to a table filled with all sorts of alcoholic delights. I poured myself a triple vodka, neat. I knew the only way to survive this disastrous situation was to get absolutely obliterated. I chugged it down in one and then poured myself another. This went on for about half an hour, and I was mashed. I started to make my way back over to Jess and Leah. They were flirting with a couple of the guys that Leah had introduced us to. As I got closer, they spotted me.

"Well, someone's a little drunky" Jess said, giggling.

I laughed back at her and launched myself onto her, knocking her back onto the sand below.

"Whoa Bella, you know I love you but I'm not into girls" she said, jokingly.

"I love you Jessie. I don't know what I'd do without you" I slurred. Man I really was drunk.

"Oh baby Bell, I love you too" she giggled.

As I pulled myself up, I heard the sounds of Katy B pumping out of the boom box.

"Jess, Leah! Come dance with me! I love this song!" I yelled, not needing to as they were only about two feet in front of me.

I pulled them over to a clear space and let the music wash over me. I placed myself in between Leah and Jess, grinding my hips into them.

_In this room of darkness I ain't undercover_

_That won't stop my prowess rubbing off on to another_

_Elevating higher as my body's moving lower_

_Now I've reached my element you better move over oh_

_But he doesn't he blocks my way_

_I try to push past but he wants to play_

_So I sip his drink as I hold his gaze_

_Ooh_

_When we erupt in to the room_

_And hear the sub go boom_

_A feeling easy to resume_

_This right here I swear will end too soon_

_So I sink in to the tune_

_As I inhale the fume_

_A feeling easy to resume_

_This right here I swear will end to soon_

I heard the sound of wolf whistles in the background, but frankly I was to gone to realise who they were coming from. I slid my arms out of my jacket and threw it to the ground next to us, all the while still dancing. I felt Leah's hands grip around my waist and I pushed myself further against her. I was no lesbian, but dancing with my girlies like this always lit a spark inside me.

As the song ended, all three of us collapsed onto the floor laughing. I loved them. Who needed men?

"Well, that was quite a show ladies" I heard a voice call. An unmistakable voice. _His voice._

I tried and tried, but I just couldn't bring myself to lift my head.

"So Leah, who are you friends?" he asked her. _You already know me._

"This is Jess, and this is the lovely Bella" she told him.

_Please don't talk to me. Please don't touch me._

"Looks like somebody's a little shy" he taunted. _How dare he? What would it take for him to remember?_

Something inside of me snapped. I couldn't help myself. I had verbal diarrhoea and I couldn't stop it.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO PAUL? SCREAM FOR YOU? DO YOU WANT ME TO GET DOWN ON ALL FOURS AND CRY OUT FOR YOUR ATTENTION?" I shouted.

By now everybody was looking in our direction, and he looked stunned. I still wasn't looking at him. I couldn't bring myself to. It would just be another reminder that he didn't want me. He had never really wanted me. If he had, he never would have left without a word. He knew where I lived, if he had wanted me that badly he would have come and found me.

"Bella" I heard Jess whisper as she wrapped her arm around my shoulder.

I shrugged her off, too angry to be comforted. A big part of me wanted to wallow in my pain and self-pity.

"Oh god…." I heard him whisper "Isabella?" _And he finally remembered…._

"That's me! What gave it away?" I asked sarcastically, still not daring to look in his direction.

"What's the hell is the matter with you?" he asked, sounding frustrated.

_What was wrong with me? Was he for real? Did he really have to ask?_

"Please don't make me answer that question. Surely your not too stupid to answer that question for yourself?" I questioned him, knowing that I was getting to him. I liked it. Why shouldn't I make him angry? Frustrated? It was how I had felt for weeks. Why shouldn't he feel a little of what I felt?

"Don't mess around with me Bella, you really don't know what your getting yourself into. What did you think we were doing that night exactly? We met at a bar and within an hour we were mindlessly fucking on your bed. You hardly gave off the impression of a girl who wanted me to stick around did you? Not that I'm complaining. That was some of the best pussy I ever had!"

I had known it all along. I knew that I was just a fuck. Something to suppress his desires. Why was I so worried about what he might think of me? Why should I care?

"Well I hope you enjoyed it, because you'll never be getting this again" I told him, finally looking up to face him.

As I our eyes locked together, something odd happened. It was like all he could see was me. His facial expression turned from cockiness to something I couldn't quite put my finger on. Love? Adoration?

It didn't last long, typical of men. Suddenly, he turned on his heel and ran into the woods. _He fucking ran!_

"Surprise surprise, he ran. Nothing new there then" I heard a voice say, I couldn't make out who.

I was too involved in the moment that had just taken place between us. What the hell had just happened?

**Well? What do you think? I bet you can all guess what just happened! Don't get too hopeful about Paul changing his ways though, we all know that's not how it would happen! Thanks to everyone who has added this story to their favourites. It makes me feel good ****J Hopefully I should be able to update every couple of days, if not before.**

**Please review and let me all know what your thoughts are? I really don't want to carry on updating if people aren't getting sucked in :P **

**Thanks for reading**

**xxxxx**


	3. Its Better To Lie

The previous nights events were a lot to take in.

I had spent so long trying to forget, but in that moment when our eyes met, it was as if it was meant to be. Like we were meant to meet again, meant to go through the separation. I couldn't believe it when he just ran away from me. It was the worst pain imaginable. He had rejected me again. The hole in my chest was getting bigger, only this time the pain was physical. I felt an ache in my heart.

But why?

I didn't understand, and I hated it. In a perfect world, he wouldn't be the one I would crave. He was a coward and an asshole. I knew his reputation, as everyone had warned me of it after his departure at the bonfire.

"Bella, don't even go there!" One of Leah's workmates told me.

"He's bad news" said another.

I knew this, but something in me wanted him. More than anything I had ever wanted in my life. I wanted to see him, get inside his head. What did he really think? I wanted to know if he really did think we had just fucked, was that the end of it for him? All I knew now was that I had lost him all over.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Charlie. My dad.

I had moved out of there when I was seventeen. After he found out about me dabbling in drugs.

Edward had first introduced me to Marijuana. Before I knew it I was smoking it most days, sometimes not being able to go a day without. I knew I had a problem even back then, but I couldn't stop myself.

Charlie was the police chief of Forks, so having a daughter who was so keen on it didn't give him the best reputation. He hadn't pushed me out, I had decided to leave and take the pressure off of him. He didn't need me making things worse.

"Hey Dad" I answered.

"Hey Bella, I haven't seen you in a few weeks. I was just calling to make sure you were alright"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry about me"

"Good to hear. I'd love it if you could come over for dinner one night this week. I really miss having my little girl around" I felt a pang of guilt as he said that.

He didn't have many friends, I guess he found it hard to trust people. He had Billy Black though. They would head out on fishing trips almost every weekend, and I was glad to know that although he didn't have many, he had a great friend in him.

"Um, I guess I could come over. When?"

"Well are you free tonight? I've got fresh fish in the fridge" Fish was my favourite and he knew it.

"Yeah, I'll be there at six Dad. See you later" I told him.

"Cant wait Bells" he said as he hung up.

I hadn't been able to drag myself out of bed yet. I looked down at my watch.

2pm.

It had been a long night so I had an excuse.

I stepped out of bed, the chill of the cold floor boards tingling through my feet.

Shower. That's what I needed. Maybe that would help me feel better.

I walked into the bathroom and switched the shower on, waiting for it to heat up.

As I looked into the cabinet mirror, I saw a shadow of the girl I used to be. Happy, cheerful Bella was lost. Instead what I saw was a fragile girl with a look of utter misery in her eyes. What happened to her?

I stepped under the steaming hot shower, letting the water wash over me. For a moment, I had felt a little relief, but then it all came flooding back. Before I knew it, tears were falling from my eyes. I slid down the cold wall and tucked my knees into my chest, gripping my hair between my finger tips.

Where did it all go so wrong?

-Jess,Going over to Charlie's for dinner. Won't be back until late-

I left the note on the kitchen table and walked out to my chevy truck. Turning the key in the ignition, I made my way to Charlie's.

As I pulled up to the house, I put on my best smile, walked up to the front door and knocked.

I knew that he would object to my knocking, but this wasn't my home anymore and I hadn't felt comfortable just walking in in a long time. I waited a few seconds, and the door flew open. Before I knew I was being clung to like a cub to a lioness.

"I'm so glad you came Bella, it means a lot to me" he told me, pulling away from the hug.

"No problem Dad, its good to see you" I said, smiling

"Something smells delicious"

"That would be the fish. Come on in, don't be standing there all night" he laughed, closing the door behind me.

I walked into my old home. It hadn't changed one single bit. Everything was exactly as it was when I had left. I was impressed with how tidy it was, but then thought that he's probably spent most of the afternoon cleaning up after himself. The thought of Charlie running around with the vacuum made me chuckle.

"Something funny Bells?" he asked me, looking confused.

"No nothing, Dad. So how have you been?" I asked him.I watched him as he mashed the potatoes. Lumpy, just how I liked it.

"Ah you know the score, Bells. Same old stuff. Work, fishing and sleeping" he replied, just like always.

"How about you?" I could tell him that I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole. Or I could lie and tell him everything was fine.

"Yeah, good. Works fine" I replied.

Of course I would lie. I couldn't burden Charlie with my problems, I didn't want him worrying anymore that he usually did.

"Really? That's good to hear. I worry about you. Cant let anything happen to my little girl" he told me.

We talked while we ate. About everything from work to friends. Charlie hadn't always approved of all my friends, especially the Cullen's, but he liked Jess a lot. He thought she was a good influence on me. If only he knew. Jess was definitely a pro at putting on the innocent act for parents, but it comforted me to know that Charlie thought I was being looked after.

"Oh I meant to ask on the phone earlier, there's some stuff in the garage that belongs to you. I thought you might want it?" he suggested.

"Oh, yeah. Thanks Dad. I'll wash up and then go take a look" I replied, putting my plate in the sink.

"I'll wash up Bells, you're my guest. Go take a look" he told me firmly.

I nodded and made my way out to the garage.

The bitter cold hit me as I stepped out of the door. I zipped my leather jacket up and hugged my arms against my I approached the garage, I felt a wave of calm wash over me. It was the like the hole in my chest was filling. Not completely, but it felt a lot better. The calm disappeared and confusion took its place.

"Weird" I whispered to myself as I opened the garage me lay three cardboard boxes. I wasn't entirely sure if I was ready to open them. I knew they would contain reminders of my past. The past that I so desperately missed. Not the people in it, but the way I was back then. Happy and free. What I wouldn't give to feel it now,

I stepped out of the garage and locked the door. I made my way over to a log and a cigarette out of my jacket pocket and lighting it, I inhaled and exhaled.

"Didn't anybody tell you that smoking kills" I heard a familiar voice did he know I was here?I turned around and there he was.

Stood there in just a pair of sweats, no shirt. His russet coloured skin shining in the moonlight. I let my eyes wander over his body. His gorgeous chest. His abs. That V shape that led down to pure bliss. I distinctly remember running my tongue along it.

"Wha….I….What are you doing here?" I asked abruptly.

"I was running. Letting off some steam, and I saw you sat here" he replied, grinning. Oh that smile.

"Right….Well you can see that I'm busy" I told him, with a sharp tone.

"Busy? Right. Got a light?" He asked. He pulled out what looked like a joint from his pocket.

"Um yeah…here" I said handing him my lit it, and as he did, that oh so familiar smell filled my system. I closed my eyes and realised how long it had been since id taken a drag on a joint.

"You smoke this stuff?" he asked me.

"I did. Not so much anymore" I replied, taking a drag of my own cigarette.

"Want some?" he offered, holding it out for me.

"I shouldn't. I'm gonna have to go back in there and my dads got a nose like a sniffer dog. Thanks though" Why was he just stood there?

"Well in that case, why don't I meet you here later. How about we go for a smoke then?" he asked me.

"I don't know…. I'm pretty pissed about what happened at the bonfire" I told him, remembering that night.

How could I not remember? That night would be singed into my memory just like the night we met.

"Okay" he laughed. He fucking laughed!

"Well if you change your mind, ill be waiting outside your house in my truck at nine. If your not there by five past, ill leave" he told me, and with that he just ran away. Again. Fuck!

I didn't know what to do. Go? Or not? Every part of me was screaming for me to go with him, but I didn't want to end up as that girl that he could just pick up and drop whenever he felt like it.

I took one final drag of my cigarette and stubbed it out on the log. I looked down at my watch,

7.45pm.

Well at least I had a while to think about it, right? And with that final thought, I made my way back inside.

8.45pm.

Time to make a decision. I thought about calling Jess and asking for some advice, but I knew I'd just get a lecture.

Fuck it. I'm going.

I wandered upstairs to the bathroom and set my handbag down on the dresser. I pulled out a hair brush, some mascara and a tin of lip balm. Hell, if I was going with him I had to look presentable, right?

I ran the brush through my hair and straightened it out with my hands, redid my mascara and applied a small amount of lip balm to my lips. That would have to do.

I walked back downstairs to say goodbye to Charlie, who was sitting in his chair watching a football game.

"I'm gonna head off now Dad. Thanks for dinner, it was nice" I told him, pecking him on the cheek.

"Was good to see you too, Bells. Don't leave it so long next time and keep safe" I heard him call as I slipped out of the front door.

I looked around me. No Paul.

Looking down at my watch I realised it was wasn't quite nine, so I took a seat on the step.

Would I look desperate just sitting here like this? All kinds of thoughts filled my head. I can't do this, but I so desperately want to. Fuck!

Before I had the chance to run, I heard the low rumble of a pick up truck. Too late.

I took a deep breath and stood up to walk towards it. He popped the door open for me and I slip inside.I looked over at him. He looked breathtaking. Wearing a pair of baggy stonewash jeans and a tight fitted, v neck t-shirt. I realised I was staring and pulled my gaze away.

"I knew you'd come" he said, with an arrogant tone.

"Right, well here I am. Where are we going?" I asked as he pulled away.

"My place" he said, abruptly

."I don't know if that's a good idea. Not after what happened last time we were alone" I told him.

"What do you think I'm gonna do Bella, jump you?" he asked me, smiling that smile.

My smile.

I sat back in my side, hiding my eyes behind my bangs the whole way. We didn't say another word to each other until we made it to his place. I unclipped my belt as he turned off the ignition.

"Are your parents home?" I asked him.

"I live alone, well no, I live with a friend. Jared, I believe you met him at the bonfire" he replied.

"Oh, yeah. The guy that gave me to coke. Yeah I remember" I replied.

I stepped out of the truck and followed him to the front door. I watched as he unlocked the door and walked into the house.

"Well, are you coming in then? Or do you just want to stand there in the cold?" he asked me, smirking.

I nodded and walked into the hallway of the house. It was simple, but homely.

Admittedly it was a tad messy, but then who would expect any less from two men living together. He ushered me into the living area.

"Sit down on the couch, ill be back in a sec" he told me and I I sat, I looked around the room. I was sitting on a black leather corner group.

There was a flat screen television on the wall and posters on the surrounding walls. Each poster had a different image. From Jimi Hendrix to Bob Marley. They were all there. I sat hunched forward, twiddling my thumbs. I didn't want to get comfortable for fear of being told to leave five minutes later.

He came out of the kitchen with his hands full of bottles. He set them down on the table, as well as two glasses.

"That's a lot of alcohol" I muttered.

"Yeah well, it takes a lot to get me drunk" he said, laughing.

"You cant drink and drive though?" I said, as more of a question than a statement.

"Why? Where are we going?" he asked me, smiling.

"Well, I need to get home somehow. I left my truck at my Dads so unless you think its safe for me to walk, your going to have to drive me" I told him, by now I was getting frustrated.

"Oh come on Bella, we both know your not going anywhere until morning"

What on earth made him think that? Was he really that cocky? Unbelievable!I had gotten myself into a sticky situation, and I had no idea how to get myself out of it.


	4. Light Me Up

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, they all belong to Stephanie Meyer**

**Warning: Drug abuse and lemons coming right up so if your under 18 look away now!**

**Enjoy!**

"_Well, I need to get home somehow. I left my truck at my Dads so unless you think its safe for me to walk, your going to have to drive me" I told him, by now I was getting frustrated._

"_Oh come on Bella, we both know your not going anywhere until morning" _

_What on earth made him think that? Was he really that cocky? Unbelievable! _

_I had gotten myself into a sticky situation, and I had no idea how to get myself out of it._

"I don't think you should be making assumptions like that. I know our first encounter didn't exactly show that I had any morals, but I do. And I what your like Paul, after you left the bonfire I heard many stories about you. I realise that I was just another notch on your bedpost, but I wont be making that mistake again" I took a deep breath as I finished my rant.

He just stared at me for a moment.

"Bella, be quiet and drink" he said, handing me a glass of Jack Daniels.

I took it willingly, wanting to calm my nerves. _God, why was I so nervous around him?_

"I have to say, appearances can be deceptive. You look so innocent, yet you buy coke from random strangers" he said, glaring at me.

"He's not a stranger. He's Leah's friend and your roommate" I said, defensively.

"Shit Bella, stop taking everything as an insult. Just relax, take off your jacket and ill put on some music" he suggested as he pulled himself up off the sofa.

I slid my arms out of my jacket and placed it on the arm of the couch. I heard the sounds of Avenged Sevenfold flowing quietly out of the speakers and Paul sat down again. He pulled a joint out of his pocket, put it to his mouth and lit it. I watched him inhale and exhale. I just couldn't take my eyes off of him. He was gorgeous.

"Here" he said, handing it out for me.

I took hold of it and brought it up to my mouth, inhaling. As I took it to the back of my throat, my whole head starting buzzing. Now I remembered why I used to smoke it so much. I took another long drag and then passed it back to him.

"Feel better?" I heard him asking, laughing.

"Much. Thank you" I replied, taking a long sip of whiskey.

It all went quiet apart from the serene sounds on the stereo. It seemed like we sat there in a comfortable silence for hours.

"So Bella, something a little stronger?" he asked me, waving a baggie in his hand.

I just nodded.

"I don't want to get too wasted Paul, I get a little out of character" I told him.

"Out of character? Is that what you call it? I seem to remember the last time you were out of character, it was fucking incredible" he smiled _that _smile and I melted. He knew what that smile did to me.

"Well, as I said. Never again" _Liar._

He laughed to himself and tipped the powdery substance out on to the table, lining it up with his credit card. He took a rolled up note and snorted a long line before throwing his head back, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger. He handed the note to me and I bent over to snort the substance. As I did so, I felt his warm hand tracing circles on the small of my back. It felt like ecstasy along with the massive buzz from the cocaine. I leant back up again and found myself with his arm draped over my shoulder, he was taking long swigs of whiskey from the bottle. I was desperate to touch him, to feel his warm skin on my naked flesh.

"That good huh?" He asked me. I wasn't sure if he was talking about the drugs or his touch.

Again, I just nodded.

"So, I have to ask, why were you so upset with me" he questioned.

What could I say to that? Could I tell him the truth? Tell him it was the best night of my life?

"You just left. I didn't even know your name. Do you realise how dirty that made me feel? When we met at the bar I knew it was no romantic love affair, but I thought you'd have a little more decency than that. Ever since that night, I've been different. I'm not the same person. I've been partying harder, hooking up with more people than I can even remember, and I hate it" I told him. I couldn't believe I had been so honest with him.

I looked over at him for a response, but he just stared. I couldn't work out the look in his eyes. Hurt? Anger? Or a mixture of both.

"I didn't realise. I'm sorry, I thought we both knew the score. Obviously not. I never meant to hurt you Bella. I know you've probably been thinking that I left because you were no good or because I didn't like you, but that's not true. You were breathtaking. No ones ever pleasured me the way you did" he told me.

My heart burst open at his words. All my insecurities faded away. I no longer felt that I should be nervous. I could talk to him, and he would listen.

"Thank you. That means a lot" I replied.

We sat there for a moment, just looking into each others eyes. I finally tore my eyes away and sipped from my drink. We spent the next couple of hours talking. About music, movies, everything. We had a lot in common. More than I would have thought. We had gotten through two bottles of whiskey and three grams of cocaine. I no longer felt any inhibitions and I had been laying across his lap for what seemed liked forever. I felt little beads of sweat trickling down my chest. I knew he was watching. I couldn't see his eyes, but I could sense it. So I decided to toy with him a little. I brought my middle finger up to my chest and traced the trail of sweat slowly, down to my breasts. I heard him inhale deeply. He liked it.

"Bella….don't do that. Don't mess with me. I'm no good at holding back" he told me, cautiously.

I rolled over onto my front and looked him straight in the eye. I didn't want him to hold back. I was high, but I knew what I was doing. I wanted him, and I was going to get him.

"Who said I wanted you hold back?" I asked him.

He didn't need me to say anything more. He pulled me up onto his lap, my legs at either side of his straddling him. I breathed deeply and he crushed his lips to mine. It felt amazing. I felt whole again. This is what I had craved for so long. He kissed me with hunger and passion, taking my bottom lip between his teeth and biting it lightly.

"Hmmmmm….." I moaned, which pushed him further over the edge.

_Relax while you're closing your eyes to meSo warm as I'm setting you freeWith your arms by your side there's no strugglingPleasure's all mine this time_

I felt him grip my hips with his large hands and I started to rock back and forth over his erection. _I wanted him inside me. _I sucked slowly on his tongue and felt a growl escape his lips. As I pulled my mouth away from his, the look in his eyes was amazing. He wanted me, I could see it. So I stood up and pulled my t shirt over my head, revealing a lacy black bra.

He jumped up off the sofa a lifted me to his lips. We kissed with a raw passion as I wrapped my legs around his waist. I could feel his erection against my wet core. I needed him naked and I needed it now.

I lifted his t shirt over his head, all the while still kissing, to reveal his perfect chest. I slid down his body, placing sweet kisses on his chest, stomach and that beautiful V.

_Cherishing, those feelings pleasuringCover me, unwanted clemencyScream till there's silenceScream while there's life left, vanishingScream from the pleasure unmask your desireperishing_

"Bella…." he moaned as I came face to face with his crotch.

I reached out and undid the zipper of his jeans, yanking them down to his feet. No underwear. That would make things easier. There before me was his gorgeous length. The head glistening with pre cum.

I started to pump it with my hand, teasing him as I ran my thumb over the tip.

"Don't tease…." he mumbled in an aggressive tone.

I simply smiled and brought my lips to the head, licking it lightly. His cock grew harder in my hand by the second. I placed it between my lips and slowly pushed him further and further into my mouth, bobbing my head gently. I started off sucking lightly, going all the way down fast and coming back up slowly. I looked up at his through my lashes to find his head thrown back against the wall.

_Scream, Scream, Scream the way you wouldif I ravaged your bodyScream, Scream, Scream the way you would if I ravagedyour mind_

"Bella, fuck…..harder" he whispered.

I was only too happy to oblige. My motions became faster and harder and I sucked him into my mouth, cupping his balls and rolling them around in my hand. I ran my tongue up and down his cock until he was begging for me. He pulled me up and lay me down on the couch. Before I could even process it, my jeans were on the floor.

"You smell phenomenal" he whispered as he ripped off my panties and pushed my legs apart.

He began licking the inside of my thigh, nibbling in different places.

"Please…." I moaned. I heard him chuckle.

I felt his hot breath on my core. My bundle of nerves was just waiting for contact.

All of a sudden, he swiped his tongue across my pussy. It was worth the wait. His hot tongue lapped up my juices in a swirling motion. It was amazing. He started to nibble and suck my clit, rolling it around on his tongue.

"Oh….god…" I whimpered, arching my back in pleasure.

_Cherishing, those feelings pleasuringCover me, unwanted clemencyScream till there's silenceScream while there's life left, vanishingScream from the pleasure unmask your desireperishing_

He darted his tongue in and out of my pussy and I felt the fire burning up inside me. With one final push, I fell over the edge. My blood was on fire and I was pushing myself further and further into his mouth.

When the feeling calmed, I sat up to face him. He had _that_ grin on his face.

"That….was….amazing" I told him, still panting from my climax.

"Well, I aim to please" he said, pulling his pants back up

_I wasn't finished. Not by a long shot._

"What are you doing?" I asked, looking him in the eye.

"Baby, if I give it all to you now, you wont have anything to come back for" he said, smirking.

"What? You do _that_ to me and then you leaving me hanging?" I shouted.

All he did was smile and pull a joint up to his lips, lighting and inhaling.

"You want?" he asked, holding in out for me.

I shook my head and began dressing myself. Sliding my panties up my legs. I popped my bra clasp together and reached for my jeans than lay by his feet.

"Bella, what are you doing?" he asked me, still smiling.

"What am I doing? What are you doing? You just brought me over here so you could toy with me didn't you? Well I wont let it happen" I screeched.

I felt his warm touch on my shoulder, spinning me around to face him. He mashed his lips to mine and began kissing me furiously.

"Bella, stop it. I just want to make sure you've got something to come back for. I'm not messing with you. I want you to stay here with me tonight. Don't go. Sit with me, we'll have a few more smokes, maybe a drink and then we'll go to bed. Then in the morning you can leave if you want, okay?" he asked me, looking into my eyes the whole time.

I nodded, bending down to pull my jeans up when his touch stopped me again. I looked up to find him smiling down at me.

"Stay as you are. You look breathtaking" he told me. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks and sat down, leaning back into the sofa.

As he sat down beside me, I knew I had fallen in head first and I didn't think I could climb out.

I didn't want to. I just wondered how long this would last, because knowing Paul, it wouldn't be for long.

**So there it is! Two updates in one day! That's how into this story I am. I'm feeling pretty pleased with myself ****J**

**Please review and let me know what you think. I've never written a lemon before, let me know if I did it justice?**

**Thanks for reading. Should have the next chapter up by tomorrow night.**

**By the way the lyrics in this chapter are Avenged Sevenfold - Scream.**

**Amazing song, I suggest you listen.**

**Love you all!**

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**


	5. For A Pessimist, Im Pretty Optimistic

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. Any recognisable situations also belong to Stephanie Meyer. **

**We'll get to see what's going on inside Paul's head in this chapter too!**

**I recommend listening to Damien Rice - I Remember whilst you read this. I had in on repeat when I wrote it. Such a beautiful song.**

**This is a long one!**

**Enjoy!**

_I nodded, bending down to pull my jeans up when his touch stopped me again. I looked up to find him smiling down at me._

"_Stay as you are. You look breathtaking" he told me. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks and sat down, leaning back into the sofa._

_As he sat down beside me, I knew I had fallen in head first and I didn't think I could climb out._

_I didn't want to. I just wondered how long this would last, because knowing Paul, it wouldn't be for long._

As I opened my eyes the next morning, the sunlight beamed in through the curtain and landed on my face.

I sat up and look down at myself, I was wearing an oversized t-shirt. It must have been one of his. I looked over at him, sleeping peacefully. I took a moment to appreciate his beauty. That is until my phone rang. Ugh Jess.

"Hey Jess" I said, still groggy from sleep.

"ISABELLA SWAN, WHERE ARE YOU? I HAVE BEEN GOING OUT OF MY MIND WITH WORRY!" She shouted down the phone.

"Please could you not shout" I asked, pulling the phone away from my ear.

"Where on earth are you?"

The truth or a lie? The truth or a lie? The truth won out.

"I'm at Pauls" I said, almost in a whisper.

Everything went quiet, and I waited for her response. I knew it wouldn't be a good one.

"I'm not saying one word about it. I will tell you however, that it will all come crashing down around you, and I will be there to pick up the pieces, as always" she said as she hung up the phone.

"Shit" I muttered under my breath.

"Morning…." I heard him say as I looked over at him. He sat up and stretched his arms above his head, the muscles in his chest and stomach tightening as he did so.

_My god, that body!_

"Hi" I replied quietly, still staring.

He sat up and hauled himself out of bed. I waited for him before I made any type of movement. I didn't know what he wanted me to do. Get dressed? Get him breakfast? I had no idea. It was another ten minutes before he made his way out of the bathroom. He was dressed in a pair of jeans and a white, long sleeved t-shirt. I waited for him to say something, but he didn't. He just carried on as if I wasn't even there.

Finally, after an agonizing wait, he looked up at me. I couldn't work out his facial expression.

"Well? What are you waiting for?" he asked me, with a look of impatience in his eyes.

"Wha….I'm sorry….I should go right? Or not? I could stay if you wanted?" I questioned, desperate for any response but the one I dreaded.

"Why would you stay? Get dressed. I have places to be" His voice was so cold, nothing like the Paul I had known the night before.

I fought back the tears that were stinging my eyes as I rushed to get dressed. I didn't say a word to him. Too afraid of him dealing another cruel blow. As I walked down the stairs straightening my clothes out, the hole in my chest once again gaped open. I had known this would happen, so why did I put myself through it? As I reached the last step, I saw him waltzing out of the living room with my jacket in his hand.

"Here. Go. Now." he told me, aggressively. My heart broke right there and then.

_Why was he doing this to me? _

"Ddd….did I do something wrong? Was I not good?" I asked, my voice quivering.

"Bella I really don't have time for this. Please leave" he told me again.

I ripped the jacket from his hands and walked out of the front door without looking back. But then it hit me. How was I going to get home? I couldn't go back and ask for a ride, the mood he was in he wouldn't oblige anyway. So I kept walking. I had been walking for around twenty minutes when I heard a car pull up behind me. I looked around to find Charlie sitting there in his cruiser. _Explain this one Bella._

"Bella!" I heard him shout out of the window.

I turned on my heel slowly to face him. He motioned for me to get in the car. I didn't really have a choice unless I wanted to walk for an hour to get home, so I got in the car. I stayed silent, and so did he. But not for very long.

"You left your truck outside last night, Bells. Where did you go?" he asked me inquisitively.

"To a friends. Could you take me back to get it please?" I asked him, quietly.

"Of course Bella. I wont pry because your not a little girl anymore, but just be careful. Whatever your doing" he pleaded.

We stayed quiet the rest of the journey, only muttering a few goodbyes as I stepped out of the car. As I drove home, I scolded myself for how stupid I had been. I had known why he wanted me there, but I still went. He said jump and I had said how high. Tears were streaming down my face by now, and I could barely see where I was headed. I felt the sorrow turn to anger, and before I knew what I was doing, I pulled over and started to slam my fists against the steering wheel.

"FUCK! FUCK YOU! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO PLAY WITH ME LIKE THAT?" I screamed.

None of it made me feel any better, but I had to take my anger out on something. I couldn't go home and listen to Jess tell me that she was right. I wouldn't admit defeat. I couldn't, because if I did that I would never recover. I couldn't explain the hold that _he_ had over me. It was like there were a million tiny wires connecting me to him. I felt better when I was around him. I was happier. I wished I had an explanation, but I didn't. All I had was my heartbreak. I didn't love this man, but I felt myself falling further into him every second I thought about him.

I sat there for what seemed like hours before pulling myself together. As I turned the ignition, I felt somebody watching me. Like an eerie calm was washing over me. I turned off the engine and opened the driver door slowly, stepping out onto the gravel as I did so. I walked to the front of the truck and looked in all directions, taking in my surroundings. My eyes travelled across the forest line steadily. I could still feel the presence.

"So stupid, who would want to watch you?" I muttered to myself.

As I turned on my heel to get back into my truck, my eyes widened as I realised what was in front of me. Right there on the border to the forest was a wolf. The largest wolf I had ever seen. Hell, it didn't even fit into the category of a wolf. It was bigger than a large bear. It just stood there, its eyes not leaving mine. Its silver fur shone in the sunlight, unusual for Forks. I wasn't scared. I knew I should be, but I couldn't bring myself to muster up the fear that I should have felt. Those eyes, they were so familiar. Like caramel swirls. We stood there for a good few minutes, just staring into each others eyes. I felt like I was being drawn to it. Just as I put a foot forward to approach it, it disappeared back into the forest faster than lightning.

"Whoa…." I whispered.

"Paul!" I heard a voice shout. _Fuck._

"Not now Sammy boy" I muttered in an aggressive tone.

I stopped and turned on my heel to find him standing there, staring me down. I knew he had known. He would have seen the previous nights events in my head while we were phased.

"What are you doing Paul? Do you realise what your doing to her?" he asked me, in his best alpha tone.

I knew what I was doing alright. Fighting the imprint. I, Paul Meraz, was not a one woman man. I didn't want to be tied to one woman for the rest of my life. It wasn't happening and it was as simple as that. I couldn't deny that I felt pain every time I was cruel to her, but it had to be done. I would only hurt her in the long run. She didn't deserve that, even though she was practically begging for it.

"Paul! This is your imprint! I don't understand why you don't even care? I have never known of anyone that could be this cruel to their soul mate!" He shouted.

_Soul mate._

"I don't want her. She isn't my soul mate!" I screamed back at him.

"You don't want her? That's why you think of her all the time. That's why you spent the night with her last night, and you didn't even fuck her! I know you Paul, and I know that you'll do anything to get laid" he said, with a look of disgust in his eyes.

He was right. I did think of her. The only time I didn't think of her was when I was asleep, and even then she would creep into my dreams.

"I can't Sam. I'm not good for her, ill end up destroying her" I told him, hanging my head in shame.

"You don't think your already doing that now? Do you realise how strong an imprint bond is? Without her, you will become weaker and weaker. Some wolfs have been known the die of a broken heart by being detached from their imprint. It will happen to her too. Do you really want that on your conscience? She will slowly rip apart, piece by piece. Until she can no longer breath without you! Her insides will destroy themselves. She wont be able to eat, drink or sleep. She could die from the exhaustion alone! How can you be so selfish?" he shouted.

His words ripped my heart in two. I didn't want any harm to come to her, and that's why I had been rejecting the imprint from the start. I couldn't deny the slow burn that consumed me when I was apart from her. Hell, I couldn't even get it up with another woman, and believe me I had tried.

"I just can't be with her. It would be dangerous. You know I can barely control my temper. I don't want her getting sucked into my lifestyle. I've been on the damn drugs for so long now, I cant have her ending up like me" I told him.

"Yeah well, its not my place to comment on that. I've told you that as long as it doesn't interfere with your duties, you can do whatever the hell you want. I never understood why you guys took so much pleasure in it" he replied, his tone had become calmer.

I had been taking cocaine for around two years now. My reckless behaviour started around the same time my mom died. I spiralled out of control completely. That's when I first phased, there was nobody there to talk to. Well, apart from Sam. But then we had never really gotten along. It took me a long time to accept him as my alpha. Marijuana was more medicinal than anything. I used it to try and keep myself calm. Whenever I got angry, my whole body would start to shake. I could always feel the wolf inside me trying to claw its way out. It took a lot for me to restrain myself, but I had just about managed to keep it under control. It still caught me off guard sometimes though, and I couldn't risk that with Bella.

"Paul….Please, at least try and keep some kind of contact with her. For her sake for than yours. If any part of you cares about this girl, which I strongly believe it does, then do it for her. She has no clue why she feels this way, I cant even begin to wonder how confused she feels" Sam asked.

"I'll try" I nodded.

With that, he made his way back to his imprint. Emily. She was the perfect example of why I couldn't be with Bella. When Sam had first phased, there was NOBODY to help him. He was the first wolf in three generations. When he imprinted on Emily, there was nobody to explain why he felt the way he did. One day, Sam had lost control in front of Emily. He had a constant reminder of that day every time he looked at her. The scars on her face didn't take away from her beauty, but I could only imagine the heartbreak he felt every time he looked into her eyes. I didn't want that for Bella. She deserved to be loved wholly by somebody. A good man. I was useless, and she didn't deserve it. Deep down I knew I wouldn't be able to keep away from her, but I had to try, for her sake.

The past week had gone by painfully slow. I'd had to take a week off work because of all the stress. I didn't know what the hell was happening to me. I'd been running a temperature for days. I barely slept, and I only ate when Jess fed me. I mean literally fed me. She would come into my room morning, noon and night to check on me. She'd gone as far as to suggest that I might be pregnant, so to humour her I took a test. Of course it was negative, I wasn't _that_ stupid. She would sit with me most nights, we wouldn't talk, she would just sit and watch meaningless television with me until I fell asleep. I awoke most nights with a searing pain in my chest. I had tried to push it away with various different substances. Nothing worked. I dosed myself up on sleeping pills, but I barely slept even then. I hadn't seen Paul since that morning, nor did I want to. Okay, maybe I'm lying, I was desperate to hear from him. I didn't have his number, and I didn't think I'd have to guts to call him even if I did.

I was aching for him, I felt that somehow my predicament had something to do with him, but I didn't know how. Was it even possible to want somebody so much that you feel like your slowly dying?

"Bella….there's somebody here to see you sweetie" I heard Jess call from outside my door.

_Paul? Please let it be him. _

"He says his names Sam. Do you know him?" She asked again as she pushed my door open slightly, popping her head in. I simply shook my head.

"What does he want?" I asked, feeling breathless.

"He says he's here about, you know, _him"_ My eyes shot open at her response.

"Send him up" I told her. She looked concerned, but nodded and closed the door as she left.

What could this Sam possibly want? Why was Paul sending somebody else to talk to me?

"Coward" I whispered to myself.

I heard the door creak open, but kept my head firmly attached to my pillow. I raised my eyes up to face him. Same russet coloured skin, same dark hair and same brown eyes. Just not as beautiful. I didn't think I'd ever see anything more beautiful than Paul's eyes, his smile.

"Isabella?" he asked, almost in a whisper.

"Yes. Bella, please" I said as I pulled myself up into a seated position.

His eyes were full of guilt. Why? He had nothing to be sorry for. It wasn't his fault that his friend was an ass. He sat at the end of my bed, he looked down at his feet and sighed heavily.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, hoping I didn't sound too harsh.

"I'm sorry your feeling ill, Bella. I know things are a little confusing. You must be wondering why your feeling this way?" he asked.

I simply nodded, urging to carry on.

"Paul. He doesn't know how to handle these new feelings. He's a little confused. There are things you don't know about him. About _us." _He stopped, running his hand through his hair.

"Like?" I asked, seeming a little impatient. Who could blame me? I had a complete stranger sitting in my room spouting cryptic messages.

"He really should be the one to tell you, Bella"

"Well it doesn't look like he's coming to see me any time soon, so why don't you shed a little more light on this?"

"Bella….. I don't really know how to say this. We….we descend from wolves….god this is going to sound ridiculous. We're shape shifters, werewolves" he finished.

Did he really think I would fall for this? I might be stupid, but I'm not that easily fooled.

"I can tell by the look in your eyes that you don't believe me, but its true. I swear. What will it take for you to believe me?" he asked me.

I thought about his question for a second, was he serious? Part of me knew he was telling the truth, but a bigger part of me decided that he was being ridiculous. Well, as they always say, seeing is believing.

"Show me. I want to see" I demanded, becoming angry.

"I cant…Not in broad daylight Bella. Its too risky" _What a surprise!_

"That's convenient for you" I said, huffing.

I slammed my head back down on my pillow. I clutched at my ribs, the searing pain running through my bones.

"I'm so sorry your in so much pain. I've been trying to make him see sense. He wants to see you, I know he does. He's just difficult, he doesn't deal with his feelings accordingly"

"No, he doesn't want to see me. You didn't see the look in his eyes when he told me to leave that morning. He doesn't give a damn, I know he doesn't. You don't have to dress it up for me" I told him.

"He does. He comes by every night and lays out under the tree outside your window. If you don't believe me, look for him tonight. He'll be in his wolf form, silvery grey. Keep your window open and you'll hear him rustling around in the leaves" _Silvery grey? No, that was a coincidence. _

"Fine. Its not like I can actually sleep anyway. I don't know why you came. I appreciate you trying to help me. I cant believe your tales until I see it with my own eyes. I'm pessimistic. I cant just believe everything you say. Thank you for coming" I said, urging him to leave.

"Once again, I'm sorry Bella. I hope you find the answers your looking for. He usually arrives at around midnight. Please look for him, he _will_ be there" He told me as he exited my room.

Great, now I would be waiting on tenterhooks all evening, just waiting for midnight to creep up on me.

I looked over at my alarm clock. 11.53pm. The wait had been agonizing. I couldn't wait any longer. I was desperate to find out if this was true. Were they really werewolves, or just high? I knew there was some strong shit floating around in La Push, but I wouldn't have thought people could hallucinate about things like that. I slowly lifted myself off of my bed and stumbled over to my mirror. What I saw in the mirror was daunting. My eyes were heavy, dark circles crowding them. My skins was pale, I was pale before but this was something else. My hair was limp and pulled into a side ponytail. Jess often came into my room and cleared it up for me. I was lucky to have somebody like her watching over me. I would never forget what she had done for me. I wiped my eyes and turned away from the mirror.

11.59pm.

I sat on the edge of my bed, facing the window. I would have to stand to be able to see outside, but until I heard the rustling, I refused to move. I sat, tapping my foot lightly, feeling agitated.

"This is ridiculous. Of course he's not coming, and he's definitely _not_ a wolf" I muttered to myself.

When I finished my ramblings, that's when I heard it. The rustling I had been told to listen for. After waiting all evening for this moment, I found myself glued to the bed. I willed myself to move, but I couldn't. I was terrified of the reality that faced me outside of that window. I heard a faint whimper come from outside. I had to see what was out there, I just had to. So I slowly willed myself to get up off of the bed and walked slowly towards the window, all the while with my eyes shut. I couldn't bear to open them just yet. I placed my palms on the cold window pane, gripping so hard my knuckles went white. Inside I knew he was out there. I needed to see this for my own eyes.

With that I slowly opened them, looking out right ahead of me into the night sky. Again I heard the rustling.

"Just get it over with" I whispered to myself.

I slowly traced my eyes down the tree trunk, not wanting to rush. As my eyes reached the end of the trunk, there he was. I took a sharp intake of breath. A wolf the size of an over sized bear staring up at me. His fur shone in the moonlight. The very same wolf I had seen that day on my way home. He was breathtaking. I smiled weakly, hoping he would notice. He rested his head on his paws and continued to look up at me. At that moment, I felt safe. I felt better, relieved. Like a heavy weight had just been lifted off of my shoulders. Werewolves, who would've thought?

I had been coming here every night for the past week, laying under the tree and staring up at her window. Every single time it had been tight shut, but tonight it was open. I could smell her delicious scent from here. I would lay here every night until the sun started to come up. I would often here her restlessness, her talking in her sleep. Calling for me. It broke my heart. I wished there was something I could have done to help, but any thing I did that involved me and her would only hurt her in the end.

I took my normal spot under the tree and lay down, all the while watching her window. Then all of a sudden, there she was. Standing at the window, eyes closed and gripping the window pain like she was holding on for dear life.

_Open your eyes. Let me see you._

As she did, the sight horrified me. She was still my beautiful Bella, but it looked like the life had been drained from her. She was as pale as a bloodsucker and the dark circles around her eyes only confirmed my suspicions, she hadn't been sleeping. Our eyes locked together, and I heard her breath in deeply.

Did she know it was me? Surely she couldn't. Her lifeless eyes ran over me, every inch of me. Next came the last thing I would have ever expected, she smiled. Admittedly it wasn't a very enthusiastic one, but a smile none the less. Almost a look of acceptance. She knew, I felt it. With that thought, I rested my head on my paws again, still gazing up at her.

After a little while, she left my view and got into her bed. And for the first time in a week, she slept peacefully, all the way through until morning.

A wolf? My Paul was a wolf. I had accepted it. Laying here in bed, I was thinking what it would be like to touch his fur. I knew that he would feel amazing, in human or wolf form. He always did. I found myself wishing for the next night to come, it wasn't the contact I desperately craved. But it was enough, for now.

**So what did you all think?**

**I hope you are all enjoying. Thank you for all of your kind words.**

**What do you think is going to happen? Let me know! **

**I fall more and more in love with this story every day! I hope you love it as much as I do!**

**Please review, thanks for reading!**

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	6. Bad Behaviour

**Disclaimer: All characters and recognizable situation belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

**Thanks for all the review's so pleased your all enjoying!**

**A few of you have commented on the confusion with the changing POVS. In my original word document I actually placed separators above each change of POV. They obviously didn't show up on the sight. Ill make sure I mark it more clearly next time.**

**Enjoy!**

Paul POV

"You told her?" I asked him, my eyes wide open.

Sam nodded. I had known he was just trying to help, I understood that. In all honesty, I was relieved. It meant that I didn't have to tell her. She must have been so confused. Two days had passed since the night she saw me out by her window. We still hadn't talked, but both nights before she went to bed, she would peek out of her window to make sure I was still there.

"How did she take it?" I asked again.

"To be honest Paul, she didn't believe me. So I told her to look for you" he replied, hastily.

"Yeah I wondered why her window was open that night" I mumbled to myself.

"So she believes?" I simply nodded.

"Yeah, I think so. I still haven't spoken to her. She knows I'm there though, and she's been sleeping much better since she's known" I told him.

"Well at least that's something. I know how you feel Paul, I may not be as hot headed as you, but when I first phased I didn't know how to control myself. I was a mess. You've seen what happened to Emily, and I'm so lucky that she's still here for me. I couldn't live without her, which is why its so hard to understand why you don't want to be close to Bella" he said, sighing.

"Its not that I don't want to see her Sam, I just can't. The last time I saw her, I was so cruel. I don't know why. You've seen it in my head. You felt how I feel about her and you know I'm not one to turn down some easy loving. She doesn't deserve to end up hurt, and I know me, I will hurt her. Whether its physically or emotionally, it will happen" I told him, pulling myself up off of the step.

"So you wont even give it a chance? Just hang out with her again. Get to know her a little better. Maybe I could get Emily to invite her round to tonight's cookout, maybe that will help?" I knew he desperately wanted me to accept her. I guessed that partly it was because he wanted me to tone down my lifestyle. He was a good alpha, but I would never tell him that.

"If that's what it takes for you to see that she's too good for me, then fine. I'll write down the directions to her house and Emily can go and invite her this afternoon" I told him as I scribbled down the directions on a piece of tissue and handed it to him.

"I don't doubt that she's too good for you Paul, but she was chosen for you for a reason" he chuckled, as he walked inside the house.

Bella POV

Since the night that I had found out the truth, I felt better. A little bit more alive. I was sleeping easier, knowing that he was outside my window. I was desperate to talk to him, feel him. But I knew that there was a reason he was staying away from me, so I had to accept it. I didn't like it, but then I wasn't going to argue with a huge wolf!

Today was my last day off work and I refused to sit in bed wallowing in my own self pity. I was Bella Swan, and I wasn't one to be walked over. Werewolf or no werewolf. So I was cleaning vigorously. It always helped to relieve the stress, especially when I had my iPod blasting in my ears. I had already finished the kitchen and was well on my way to finishing the living room. I had always tried to make cleaning because lets face it, it was a chore. So I was dancing around my living room to Rihanna without a care in the world. It felt good, it was a release, and I needed that. Not to mention the fact that I was nearly crawling the walls. I needed to get laid. I knew I could go out and get it if I wanted, but there was only one person I wanted it from. I couldn't forget the last time we were together. His hands all over me, and that tongue. He could definitely work it.

"Umbrella ella ella eh under my umbrella ella ella ella eh!" I sang to myself.

Suddenly I felt a tiny hand on my shoulder and I nearly jumped out of my skin. As I turned around I saw a stunning Quilette female. Her hair hung around her face in waves. She had a huge scar that ran from her right eye all the way down to her mouth, but it didn't take anything away from how stunning she was. I took my earbuds out of my ear, she had said something but I couldn't hear it over the music.

"I'm sorry, you don't know me, you must be really shocked" she said, giggling lightly to herself.

"Yeah um, sorry, I don't mean to sound rude but who are you?" I asked, politely.

"My name is Emily, I am Sam's girlfriend" she told me.

"Oh, nice to meet you. I'm Bella" I said holding a hand out to her.

She took me by surprise as she pulled me in for a hug.

"Its so nice to meet you, I've heard so much about you. Oh, none bad don't worry" she reassured me as she pulled away.

"You must be wondering why I've just walked into your house like this, its so rude of me" she scolded herself.

"No its fine, would you like some tea?" I asked her.

She just nodded. As I made the tea, we chatted about Sam and the wolf pack.

"I cant believe how well you've taken the news. I was a quivering mess. I know Paul's not the nicest of men, but I guess that's because he doesn't know how to be. The women he's been with have never had any self respect so of course they didn't ask him for any. Not that I'm saying he's still running around sleeping with loads of girls. Its just….well, you know" she told me.

"I hardly gave off the best impression the first time we met. I just couldn't help myself. I'm sure it hasn't gone unnoticed to you that he's absolutely gorgeous" I laughed as I said it and she nodded.

"Well, the reason I came here is to hold out an olive branch, on his part. We're having a cookout tonight and I'd really love it if you could come. It'll be the pack members, me and all the imp….girlfriends. Would you like to come?" She asked me.

"I don't really know if that such a good idea. I mean, the last time I saw him, he wasn't exactly welcoming. He practically kicked me out of his house. Do you really think he'll want to see me?"

"Bella, he's just confused. Trust me he wants to see you. He doesn't stop talking about you. Don't tell him I said that though, I don't need his wrath" she said, laughing.

"You have my word. Scouts honour. I guess I could come, I haven't been out of the house in a while. I definitely need some company. I love my room mate, but she is a nag!" I told her. She seemed to find it funny.

"Well, how about we get your little tush upstairs and get you ready. You can help me with the cooking. You have no idea how much these guys can eat!"

…...

Around an hour later we were ready to go. Emily had dressed me in a pair of tiny denim shorts and a light green camisole. Apparently it brought out the colour of my eyes. My hair was up in a messy bun and my make up was natural.

"You ready to go?" she asked me.

"Yeah sure" I replied as I slipped my flip flops on and grabbed my jacket.

I was pretty sure that the evening was going to be eventful, little did I know how much.

…...

"Well, that really is a lot of food" I said, wide eyed as I stared at the table full of food in the back yard.

Everything from pasta to breads to potato salad. Of course there was a bucket load of meat to go with it but that would be grilled later by Sam and the guys. I had become increasingly nervous about seeing Paul, so much so that I had started to shake a little. I felt a small hand on my arm. Emily.

"I know your really nervous Bella, but really you don't need to be. If he doesn't talk to you, then you've still got me and the girls. You'll get on with them really well, I know there all dying to meet you. Besides, he wont be able to resist you that much longer, trust me" she told me with a grin on her face.

"Okay, well if you say so. If you see me in a difficult situation, save me?" I pleaded.

She just nodded and laughed as we walked back inside the house.

Around half an hour later, the room started to fill with half naked men. Albeit me to complain, but the one I so desperately wanted to see wasn't there. As I looked around I could feel the pitiful eyes on me. I tried to put on a smile, but I couldn't keep it up for long.

"Um Emily, I think I'm going to go and get some space" I told her.

"Come on Bella, lets go to mine and Sam's room. The girls are desperate to get to know you, so why don't we have a big girlie chat? Maybe by the time we're done he'll be here?" She said as she lead me through to their room.

We sat down on the bed, as well as Kim and Leah who I already knew. Each one of them more beautiful than the other. With girls like this running around La Push it wasn't hard to figure out why Paul wasn't interested in me.

"So spill Bella. I for one have been desperate to find out what you see in Paul. Well, apart from the obvious gorgeous good looks and amazing physique. So tell me, I am dying to know" Kim begged.

"Well, I don't know. I'm just kinda drawn to him, you know?" I replied, knowing that my answer wouldn't satisfy her.

"I know _exactly _how you feel, trust me Bella. I've got to give it to him though, he has changed. Maybe not in the way he talks to people, but he's not so much of a ladies man anymore. I haven't seen or heard of another girl since that night at the bonfire. I, by the way, thought you were amazing that night. You shocked him. Nobody's ever spoken to him like that before and he needed it" she told me.

"Well, he deserved it. I couldn't believe the way he spoke to me that night, and then the last time we met he was fine. Until the morning that is" I said, sighing.

"Oh, spill. Tell all NOW" Leah demanded, and I heard the other girls laugh.

"Well, we just hung out you know" I told them. They all looked at me with the same expression.

"Fine. We did more than hang out. We went to his place, had few drinks and stuff. Then we just fooled around a little, nothing major" I lied.

"Hang on a minute, he didn't sleep with you? You have got to be kidding me, he _always_ sleeps with them!" Leah squealed.

"That makes me feel great, thanks guys" I said, rolling my eyes.

"Don't listen to them Bella. I know he likes you, he talks about you enough. You're just gonna need to take it slowly. Like I told you earlier, he just needs time" Emily reassured me.

At that moment I heard him. His gorgeous laugh bellowing through the house. The girls sensed my tension and tried to calm me.

"Keep calm, Bella. Everything's gonna be fine, trust me" Kim told me, softly.

I nodded as I stood up to straighten out my clothes. I took a quick look in their bedroom mirror and took a deep breath.

"I'm ready"

I put on a smile as I walked out of the bedroom. I could see all of them crowding in the living room. He wasn't in my line of sight yet, but I could here his voice.

"Go on" I heard Emily whisper in my ear, urging me forward.

I quickened my pace as I pushed myself into the living area. The noise surrounded me, but as soon as our eyes locked everything went quiet. All I could see was him. My gorgeous wolf. Everything in me was telling me to run into his arms and never let go, but I knew that if he wanted me he'd come and get me.

We stared at each other for what seemed like forever, and then he ripped his eyes away from me. Nothing could explain the ache that I felt when he turned and walked out the door.

I felt Emily standing beside me.

"He's just gone outside to start the grill. He's not leaving" she whispered.

It was going to be a long night. I hoped I could keep up my façade of calm, but only time would tell.

…...

Two hours later, every last crumb of food had been consumed and we were sitting in the back yard around a campfire. It would have been perfect if I'd had _him_ beside me. We still hadn't spoken a word to another. It was beyond painful. I had managed to brush my hand over his as I'd reached for a spoon earlier, and the lust that ran through me was indescribable. As I looked over at him across the fire, clutching his beer bottle, I realised that I couldn't be around him without being able to talk or touch him. It was too much.

"Um, Emily, thank you so much for inviting me over. I'm gonna get going now, maybe take a walk along the beach or something" I told her as I stood up to put my jacket on.

"Are you sure? I can drive you home" She offered. I simply shook my head.

"I'll be fine thank you so much guys" I smiled at each of them, but _he _wouldn't look up at me.

"Bye Bella" they all shouted as I walked towards the beach.

I turned around and gave them a quick wave before disappearing off into the woods. As soon as I was sure I was out of sight, I let it all go. I slammed body hard against a tree trunk and sank to my knees as I let the sobs violently shred my body to pieces. I held my hand tightly over my mouth, not wanting anyone to hear. I cried for everything. Paul, my life, the way I was living. I couldn't hold it in any longer. I was angry. Angry at the way he had treated me. I slammed my fists into the dirt, not caring who heard the cries anymore. I wanted to forget it all, so I pulled out the baggie from my jacket and headed to the beach.

…...

Paul POV

"How can you do this to her?" I heard Emily shout.

"Can you hear her Paul? She's in agony, and all because you cant pull your head out of your ass and see what you really want!" Sam shouted in his usual firm tone.

I felt myself shaking uncontrollably.

"DON'T YOU DARE STAND THERE AND TELL ME WHAT IM DOING! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD THIS IS!" I screamed back at him as I jumped up out of my seat.

"If your not careful your going to lose her. You have no idea how reckless she can be" I heard Leah mutter.

"What do you mean reckless?" I asked out of curiosity.

"When she broke up with Edward, her ex, she ended up in hospital after a drugs binge. She wouldn't talk to anyone for weeks. She's not as stable as she makes herself out to be, and I happen to know that she's got A LOT of drugs on her right now. You have no idea what you've done Paul" she replied, with anger in her voice.

With that I bolted. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me, following her scent as I ran. It didn't even occur to me to run in wolf form because I knew that with the amount of emotions running through me, I almost definitely wouldn't be able to phase back. I knew I was getting closer as the scent got stronger. I ripped my way through the trees as I came to the edge of the beach. The image I saw in front of me damn near killed me. There she was, laying face down in the sand. I ran towards her as fast as I could. I just hoped I wasn't too late, because I didn't want to live in a world without her in it.

…...

**So what did you think? I'm not sure about this chapter. **

**It was a little hard to write for me.**

**Please review and let me know**

**Thanks for reading**

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	7. Finally

_Disclaimer: All characters and recognizable situations belong to Stephanie Meyer._

_Thank you all so much for your reviews, especially Jake'sLola, kmkm86, and zdra8351 for your kind words._

_Warning! Major lemon coming up!_

_Here it is! Enjoy!_

…_..._

_**With that I bolted. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me, following her scent as I ran. It didn't even occur to me to run in wolf form because I knew that with the amount of emotions running through me, I almost definitely wouldn't be able to phase back. I knew I was getting closer as the scent got stronger. I ripped my way through the trees as I came to the edge of the beach. The image I saw in front of me damn near killed me. There she was, laying face down in the sand. I ran towards her as fast as I could. I just hoped I wasn't too late, because I didn't want to live in a world without her in it.**_

Paul POV

As I rushed to her side, I could hear her heard beating faintly. Thank god for my wolf senses. I knelt down beside her and pulled her over so she was laying on her back. Her face was so pale and she had sand woven through her hair.

"Come on Bella, wake up" I whispered in her ear as I held her close to my chest.

I shook her a little, desperately wanting her to come around. As I looked down at her, her eyelids started to flutter. I traced my fingers down her cheek lightly, causing her to shiver slightly. I couldn't work out if it was because of my touch or the cold. At that moment I cursed myself for not wearing a shirt or jacket for that matter. I desperately wanted to make her comfortable. If any damage had been done because of me, I'd never forgive myself.

"Paul…" she whispered.

I had never heard such a heavenly sound come from her lips. I could listen to her moan my name for all of eternity. I pulled her closer to my chest and buried my face in her hair. She smelt delicious. Like nothing I'd ever smelt before. Almost like peaches and cinnamon. She was perfect. I looked down at her beautiful face. Her eyes were slightly open, but I knew she wasn't any closer to coming around.

"Come on, lets get you home" I whispered in her ear as I pulled her into my arms, bridal style.

At that moment, I felt that I had to protect her. No matter what, I would never let anything hurt _my_ Bella. I knew inside my head that I still wasn't ready to be with her, not in the way that she wanted me to. But I had to be around for her, I couldn't risk her doing anything reckless.

…...

As I lay her down on her bed, I wondered what my life would have been like had I never met her. I had only had this connection to her for a little while, but she had already changed my perspective on life so much. I wondered what effect she would have on me when I finally felt ready to give her all of me. Maybe she wouldn't want me when she knew everything about me. About my past and everything that came with it.

As I slowly pulled her jacket off of her, she stirred softly. I was hit with the overwhelming view of her creamy skin. Sure, she was wearing shorts, but her gorgeous neck was just calling out for attention. I had to fight the urge to mark her right then and there. My inner wolf was howling at me to claim her and take her as mine, but that was something I had vowed never to do. Not with anybody. I wouldn't permantly scar anybody for my own selfish reasoning. I pulled her blanket up over her body and planted a soft kiss on her forehead before turning to hop out of the window.

"Cold…." she whispered.

I turned to look at her, and there she was. Eyes wide open, smiling gently in my direction.

"Bella. I was just leaving" I told her, not wanting to hurt her feelings.

Her smile disappeared at my words.

"Please. I'm so cold" she replied, quivering.

How could I deny her? She was my everything. So I walked back over to the bed and crawled in beside her. She immediately curled her body into me, entangling her legs in mine. She looked up at me with those big green eyes and smiled.

"Thank you" she mumbled quietly.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her close, and I could feel that she was warming up already.

"You came to get me…." she said, in a sleepy daze.

I smiled at her words, how could I not?

"Sleep, Bella. Ill stay with you until your settled" I told her.

She shot her head up at my words. She looked heartbroken.

"Please, don't leave me again. Why do you keep doing this to me? I cant take it anymore. You cant keep doing this to me. I don't think I can take it" she sobbed into my chest.

I lifted her face up to mine, looking deep into her eyes. I wanted to take away all that pain and let her know just how much I cared. If only for a minute. So I brought my lips closer to hers, so close that I could feel her breath on my skin. Our eyes were still locked together, I couldn't break the gaze even if I wanted to. I moved so close that our lips brushed together softly. She was desperately clawing at my chest, wanting me to come closer.

"Please Bella, just let me take control" I begged.

Her arms fell back down to her sides as I reached around her neck with my hand and pulled her closer to me. Her lips were calling out to me. I couldn't resist any longer. I pressed my lips together with hers and it was like I'd just been hit by lightening. It was like her soul was soaring through my veins as I deepened the kiss, running my tongue lightly along her bottom lip begging for access. Of course she allowed me. Our tongues danced together softly, and she tasted just as good as she smelt. I ran my fingers lightly down her neck, all the while holding her head to mine.

"Mmmm.." she moaned. That single sound sent my heart soaring.

I rolled her underneath me, pinning her body down with my arms, all the while still kissing. Second by second the kiss became more passionate, and I couldn't stop it. I wanted her. The wolf wanted her, but most of all she wanted me. As she ran her tiny fingers over my chest, she set my body on fire. I knew that if I didn't stop it now, I wouldn't be able to control myself. I tried to pull myself away from her, but she wouldn't let go, and truthfully I didn't want her to. With a few more sweet kisses she finally let me pull away.

"Thank you" she whispered into my ear as she planted a soft kiss on my neck.

"No need to thank me. Sleep, you need to rest" I told her, pulling her onto my chest.

Within minutes sleep claimed her, and I lay awake most of the night staring up at the ceiling. All the while wondering why my ancestors had graced me with such a breathtaking mate.

…...

Bella POV

I awoke that morning to find my body entangled with his. For a moment I thought I was dreaming. As I looked up at his beautiful face I thought that there was no way it could be real. Until his eyes flickered open and he looked deep into mine.

"Hi.." I whispered gently.

"Good morning" he muttered, tracing his thumb lightly over my bottom lip. I shuddered at his touch.

We lay there for a few more moments in silence, just staring at each other until he broke the silence.

"Why did you do that last night, Bella?" He asked me.

At that moment, it all came back to me. The cookout and everything afterwards. It had never occurred to me that he would come after me. All I knew was that I just wanted to forget everything.

"I don't know. I couldn't stand that way you were treating me, as if you were disgusted by me. Like you wished we'd never met. That's how it felt. Why don't you want me, Paul?" I asked him, my voice filled with anguish.

"Your such a silly girl. You really believe I don't want you? How could you ever think that? Did it never occur to you that I care about you so much that I cant bring myself to be around you. I don't trust myself around you and I cant hurt you. It would kill me. You've seen Emily right? I don't want that to happen to you. I would rather die than see you come to harm!" he replied.

His words shook me to the core. He wanted me. How could I have ever been so stupid? As I looked at him, I couldn't ever imagine that he could hurt me. Sure, he was a wolf with a hot head, but could he really ever harm me? It upset me that he doubted himself so strongly.

"You couldn't hurt me. Are you going to spend the rest of your life restricting yourself because you _might_ hurt me?" I asked, a little frustrated.

He sat up and turned his back to me and it was like something inside of me snapped. I wouldn't let him do this to me again.

"No! You wont do this to me again! Who the hell do you think you are?" I shouted as I pounded my fists against his back.

I started to feel his body tremble, but I didn't care. He needed to know what was going on inside my head.

"Your so hot and cold! What is wrong with you?" I shouted again.

His whole body was trembling as I stood up to face me. The sight of him that angry scared me. I hadn't meant to do this to him. I pulled my knees up to my chest and huddled against the headboard.

"Bella, this is what happens! It only takes the smallest thing to piss me off and I cant control it! Do you see? This is why I cant be near you!" he screamed at me.

"I didn't mean to upset you….I…I'm sorry. Please calm down" I whispered.

He continued to tremble. I knew he was fighting the wolf inside of him. I desperately wanted to help him, so I slowly picked myself off the bed and made my way over to him.

"Bella don't…..stay away" He told me firmly, but I simply shook my head and carried on walking towards him.

I reached out to touch him and slowly ran my fingers up and down his arm. I felt his muscles start to relax at my touch.

"See, you cant hurt me. You don't have it in you" I whispered into his ear.

I felt his arm slowly wrap around my waist and pull me closer. As I rested my head on his chest, he leant down and buried his face in my hair. He took a big breath and I could of sworn at that moment that he sniffed me.

"I'm sorry" he said, sounding disappointed in himself.

I pulled myself away from him and cupped his cheek in my hand.

"Don't be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for. You didn't hurt me, see? I'm fine, and you've calmed down. Everything is fine" I whispered.

"Nobody has ever been able to calm me down before. Your so special, do you know that?" he pulled me closer to him and I curved my body around his.

"Kiss me" I pleaded.

He pulled away from me for a second, looking down at me. Before I knew it his lips were crashing down on mine. I began to kiss him furiously, grabbing at every part of his body. He lifted me closer to him and I wrapped my legs around his waist. I felt his erection pushing into my thigh.

"Take me, please god" I whispered into his mouth as I nipped at his bottom lip.

"I cant Bella…." he replied, breathlessly.

I carried on kissing him, our tongues brushing together roughly.

"Please….I need to feel you inside me" I groaned.

He carried me over to the bed and lay me down, all the while attached to my lips.

He pulled away from our kiss and looked deep into my eyes. They were filled with uncontrollable lust.

"Are you sure? Once I start, I don't know if ill be able to stop" he told me.

I felt the fire burn in my panties as I heard him speak those words. What on earth made him think id want him to stop?

"Then don't. Please don't" I begged.

With that, he pulled my hair to one side and began planting soft kisses down my neck. The feel of his warmth breath sent me into a daze. I felt his fingers tracing circles just below the hem of my shirt. I lifted my arms up, motioning him to remove my camisole. He ripped it off before I even knew what was happening. I didn't think id ever be satisfied by anyone else again, and I didn't want to be.

Paul POV

The sight of her beautiful creamy skin had my entire body calling out for her. All I wanted in that moment was to pleasure her. She was mine, and I was hers. I slowly kissed down her chest before reaching her perky breasts. They were the perfect size. I pulled her bra to the side and began lightly sucking around her nipple. I felt her writhe in pleasure underneath me as I nipped at them softly. I traced my finger tips across the waist band of her shorts.

"Please…Touch me" she moaned. I didn't need to be told twice.

I unbuttoned her shorts and slowly pulled them down her legs, teasing her with my mouth as I went. Before I had the chance, she had already spread her legs wide open for me. The only thing standing between me and her sweet centre were her tiny pink panties. I kissed my way back up her leg and began teasing her with my fingers through her them.

"Oh god….please" she groaned. Just the sound of her moaning had me hard for her.

I brought my mouth up to the band of her panties and began tugging at them with my teeth, pulling them all the way down her legs. As they hit the floor, the smell of her arousal consumed me. I couldn't wait any longer, I had to taste her. So I placed my mouth just inches away from her pussy, blowing lightly.

"Taste me….Please I cant wait any longer" she said, almost demanding it.

With that, I lightly trailed my tongue up her slit and felt her arch her back up off the bed. She tasted beautiful. I began lapping at her juices, each movement getting her more worked up than the last. I placed a finger at her entrance as a sucked gently on her clit. When I felt her moved against me I pushed my finger into her core. She was so tight.

"Oh….My…..God. More, I want more!" she howled.

I chuckled lightly against her sweet flesh, pushing another finger inside of her. She moved against me gently as I licked at her. It only took a few more strokes before she fell over the edge.

"Oh god….I'm coming" she whispered breathlessly.

With that she fell back down onto the bed, breathing deeply. The blush in her cheeks only made her look more beautiful. She smiled softly as I made my way back up her body, placing soft kisses as I went.

"Make love to me" she begged.

"Are you sure?" I asked her, and she simply nodded.

"It would be my pleasure" I replied as I brought my mouth down to hers.

Bella POV

I had never felt so alive. I was desperate to feel him inside of me and I was done waiting. He placed his hard cock at my entrance and began teasing me lightly. I growled softly, which made him chuckle. With one fell swoop he pushed himself inside of me, bringing his body down so we were skin to skin. He moved in and out of me tenderly, reaching down to rub circles on my clit at the same time. I could feel my whole body tingling as I looked up into his eyes.

"Harder" I whispered.

He obliged as I felt him push deeper inside of me, his thrusts quickening. I felt the pleasure wash over me as he kissed me. I didn't think it was possible to feel this way. After a few more hard thrusts I felt my orgasm wash over me. My blood was boiling and it felt like every part of my body was on fire. I looked up at him and watched him as he emptied himself inside of me. He arched his back up and threw his head back as he growled. I could feel his warm juices pouring inside of me and I had never felt more connected to somebody.

"Wow" I whispered as he collapsed beside me on the bed.

I turned over and curved my body into his, resting in a spooning position. I felt him nuzzle into my neck and let out a deep breath. Nothing would ever feel better than this.

"I love you" I whispered mindlessly as I drifted off to sleep.

…...

**Wow… anybody else need a cold shower? :P **

**I hope you enjoyed that. I get a little nervous about writing a lemon. **

**Let me know what you think**

**Thank you for reading! I write to keep you guys happy!**

**I should have the next chapter up by Sunday at the very latest**

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	8. Bad Habit

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or any of the characters in it. **

**Enjoy!**

…**...**

_Wow" I whispered as he collapsed beside me on the bed._

_I turned over and curved my body into his, resting in a spooning position. I felt him nuzzle into my neck and let out a deep breath. Nothing would ever feel better than this. _

"_I love you" I whispered mindlessly as I drifted off to sleep"_

Paul POV

Those three words had been running circles in my head. She loved me. She actually loved me. This was great news right? If that was true, then why did I feel guilty. On one hand it was perfect because she had made a choice. She hadn't been forced to love me because of the imprint. Sure, that probably helped a little, but she came to the conclusion all by herself. I knew I would have to tell her soon, before she found out from one of the other pack members. They had pretty big mouths.

As I watched her sleeping, every ounce of adoration I had poured into her. She was breathtaking, all the time. I couldn't think of anybody Id rather be with. My mind was always in two places. One where I wanted to love her until the end of time and the other where I wanted to run to avoid the heartbreak I knew that I would inevitably cause. I would never change, I knew that. I would always be angry and hot headed. I would always let my eyes wander, despite the imprint bond forbidding me to do anything. When I thought of hurting her, it felt like my chest would cave in on itself. I wanted desperately to be able to change, but I didn't know if I could.

"Paul…." she whimpered as she stirred.

That familiar bursting feeling in my heart returned. I pulled her in closer to me, burying my face in her hair. She turned around to look me in the eye. I didn't think it was possible for someone to look so beautiful after waking. I looked deep into her eyes as she smiled up at me.

"Hey. Sleep well?" I asked her.

"Yeah, it was nice. I haven't slept like that in a long time. What time is it?" she replied, sitting up in bed.

It took a moment for her to realise that she was still naked. It took all of my willpower not to take her again right there. She quickly hugged her torso, covering her breasts.

"Its 5pm, and Bella, please don't hide yourself. Your gorgeous, you have nothing to be ashamed of" I told her as I planting a kiss on her forehead.

"5pm! Jesus! I had work today!" She squealed.

"Don't worry. Your boss called, I told her you were still feeling a little under the weather. She said it was fine, she seems nice" I said, chuckling.

"Yeah she's lovely. I'm lucky to have such an understanding boss"

She sat up on the edge of the bed and pulled her panties and a tank top on. The wolf inside of me didn't want her clothed. He wanted her naked, all the time.

"Where do you work?" I asked her, genuinely interested.

"At a little coffee shop in Port Angeles. Its nice, good money. Its not exactly what I wanted from life but hey, maybe ill be able to get out of here and go to college one day" she replied.

My heart sunk. She wanted to leave. She couldn't leave. I couldn't blame her for thinking these things, she had no idea about the imprint. She didn't know that if she left we would both suffer unimaginable pain. I knew id have to tell her. I already had Sam on my back about it, I just didn't want her to feel pressured into being with me. I couldn't do that to her. She deserved so much better.

"Its good to have ambitions" I replied.

She simply nodded and headed to the bathroom. I pulled myself up out of bed and dressed myself. Granted, I only had my jeans with me but it was better than nothing.

"You want anything to eat?" she asked me as she walked out of the bathroom.

"I'm starved" I replied.

Her smile widened, I knew it had nothing to do with food and so did she.

"Well I'm gonna go outside for a smoke and then ill make something to eat" she told me, sauntering down the hall.

I couldn't tear my eyes away from her ass and she knew it. I followed her like a lost puppy into the kitchen as she threw her grey, knee length cardigan on. She was still only wearing her panties and a tank top underneath. It was driving me crazy, I wanted to bend her over right then and there.

"You want one?" she asked, offering me a cigarette as she pulled her ugg boots on.

I nodded and followed her outside. She curled up on the bench on the porch. I stood opposite her, leaning up against the wall. She took two cigarettes out of the packet, handed one to me and placed the other one in between her lips.

"Sorry again for last night" she said as she lit it.

"Its okay, I didn't realise I was doing that to you. I'm the one that should be sorry. Not you" I replied, lighting my own.

I watched her as she inhaled and exhaled. I didn't want to bring up those three little words she had spoken earlier, in fear of embarrassing her.

"So, what are you doing this evening?" she asked me.

"Nothing. I was going to meet up with the guys and play some pool, but other than that nothing. What about you?" I asked her.

She simply shrugged, taking a long drag on her cigarette.

"You could come if you want. I mean, if your not too tired" I suggested.

"Could I bring Jess?" she asked, a smile forming on her lips.

"Yeah, sure. I don't see why not. I know that Jared thinks she's hot" I replied, laughing to myself.

"Ah, I see. Well ill call her and let her know" she said, as she walked back into the house.

"Bella, I'm gonna go" I shouted to her.

She rushed back out on to the porch. She looked like she was about to cry. I walked towards her, pulling her into a hug.

"No silly, I need to shower and get dressed. I cant go to a bar with no clothes on now can I?" I chuckled.

"No, I guess not. Sorry, I thought….Never mind" she replied as she planted a soft kiss on my cheek.

I looked down at her, her cardigan was open revealing her long slender legs and those tiny ass panties. I felt the arousal building inside me. Before I knew what I was doing, I lifted her into my arms, mashing my lips against hers. This was one goodbye kiss I wanted her to remember. I traced my tongue along her bottom lip, begging for entry. Our tongues dancing together ferociously. It was like we were made for each other. Our mouths fit together perfectly. I ran my fingers up her thigh as I placed her back on her feet.

"Ill be back to pick up you and Jess at 8, okay?" I asked.

She was clearly still recovering from that explosion of lust. She simply nodded, holding her fingers to her mouth. I chuckled, planted a kiss on her cheek and ran towards the woods. If that was what it would be like every time we kissed, I never wanted to stop.

…...

Bella POV

I watched as he made his way into the woods, still tracing my fingers over my swollen lips. I was frozen to the spot, literally, I was freezing. When I finally snapped out of it, I wrapped my cardigan around my torso and walked back inside. Coffee. That's what I needed. I headed over to the kitchen and switched on the machine.

"Naughty Bella" I heard Jess say as she bounced happily into the kitchen.

"Hey Jess" I replied, smiling.

She walked over to the counter and poured herself some coffee. We both sat down at the table and I braced myself for the hundred questions I knew were coming my way.

"So…Spill" she urged, sipping her coffee.

"Well, what do you wanna know?" I asked her. I already knew what she wanted to know, but I wanted to make her squirm.

"Everything….What did you two get up to while I was at work? Tell me everything" she replied, chuckling to herself.

"Do you really need me to tell you? You cant figure it out for yourself?"

"Yeah, I probably can, but I wanna hear details. Come on Swan!" she said, laughing.

"Ok fine. It was amazing. Perfect. It was nothing like the first time. He was so attentive, and my god he can do brilliant things with that tongue…." I said, trailing off.

"Well, I'm speechless. God, why cant I have a six foot, gorgeous man to tend to my needs. Its not fair, Bella!" she howled at me.

Ah, now would be the time to tell her about Jared.

"Well, its funny you should mention that. What are you doing tonight?" I asked her, with a cheeky grin on my face.

"Laundry. Why?" She replied, half heartedly.

"We are going out. Paul's coming to pick us up at eight, and I happen to know that his room mate thinks your hot" I told her. Her face lit up like a Christmas tree.

" Really? Well, how can I not accompany you? Sounds like tonight will be interesting indeed" she giggled, as she stood up.

"Certainly will. Now, we have to get you looking gorgeous. Not that it takes much" I told her.

"Bella, when will you understand that I just don't feel that way about you?" she replied, jokingly.

"Oh come on baby, you know you want it" I replied.

We both burst into fits of laughter before going our own separate ways. I stank and I needed a shower. I still had sand in my hair from the night before. As I looked in the mirror I saw that my mascara was smeared over my face and I was mortified.

I showered and blow dried my hair, then went to pick out an outfit. I settled on a pair of skin tight stonewash skinny jeans and an off the shoulder white 'Ramones' t shirt that sat loosely just above my belly button. I applied my make up and sprit zed some perfume.

"Bella! I don't know what to wear" she bellowed from down the hall. I laughed to myself.

"Alright, I'm coming!" I shouted back, making my way to her bedroom.

I found her on her knees throwing clothes around all over the place.

"What the hell Jess? You've got tonnes of clothes. It cant be that hard to find something" I squealed at her

"That may be true, but I need to look amazing! You've just told me that your mans hot room mate likes me, I cant just go out in any old outfit. Help me!" She squeaked.

I laughed as I made my way over to her wardrobe.

"Dressy or casual?" I asked her.

"Well I don't want to look like I'm ready for a ball Bella, something nice. Something sexy. Why do you always look gorgeous in jeans and a t shirt?"

"Okay, well if you'll let me, I wanna try something, yes?" I asked her.

"Okay, go for it" she replied apprehensively.

I was going to completely transform her. I spent around an hour on her hair and make up and then handed her the clothes for her to change into.

"Bella, I don't know if I can pull this off!" She shouted to me through the bathroom door.

"Don't be ridiculous, come out here and let me see" I shouted back.

The door open slowly and stood before me was a completely different women. I had curled her hair and had given her smoky eyes. She was wearing a pair of skin tight, black leather leggings and a strapless red tube top. She looked amazing.

"Jess, you look gorgeous. Look in the mirror!" I squealed at her excitedly.

She made her way over to the full length mirror. I saw her eyes widen as she saw herself for the first time.

"Wow" she muttered under her breath.

"Yeah, you look hot babe. All you need is a pair of killer heels and a jacket and we're ready to go" I told her.

As I looked down at my watch it read 7.50pm. Shit.

"Hate to rush you hear Jess, but Paul's gonna be here in ten minutes!" I shouted to her as I ran to my room, checking my hair and make up once more. I hadn't don't much with my hair, just straightened it and pulled it over one shoulder.

I grabbed my leather jacket and slipped on my black suede ankle boots and made my way downstairs.

Jess followed shortly behind me. We sat at the kitchen table and she was definitely nervous, I could tell.

We both needed something to take the edge off so I stood up and grabbed my handbag, taking out my drug of choice. Cocaine.

I tipped the contents out onto the table and lined it up with my credit card. I took a dollar bill and rolled it up tightly, snorting up a long line. I immediately felt better, although my heart was racing. Deep down, I knew that I had a slight addiction, but I just told myself there was no problem. I just liked a line here and there.

I handed the note to Jess and she proceeded to do the same thing.

"Thanks Bella. Maybe we ought to line a couple more up for them, and maybe another one for me" I giggled at her words.

I lined up four more lines on the table. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. We both looked at each other, each wanting the other to answer the door.

"Bella" she pleaded with me.

"Come in!" I shouted.

Paul sauntered in with Jared right behind him. Each with huge grins on their faces.

"Hey girls" Jared called.

I watched Jess as she hid behind her hair.

"So Jess, you remember Jared right?" I asked her, she shot me a dirty look before lifting her head up to face him.

"Whoa. You look…..wow" I heard Jared mutter. I could help but laugh.

I looked over at Paul, he looked gorgeous as always. He had on a pair of loose fitting jeans, and a short sleeved, black fitted v neck. I would have had him right there on the floor had Jess and Jared not been there.

"Bella, you look amazing as always" he told me. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks and he chuckled lightly.

"I see you've got some treats there on the table" Jared smiled as he took a seat at the table.

"Sure, help yourself" I told him, handing him the rolled up note.

He took it from me. We each shared a couple more lines before finally making our way to the bar.

We walked inside and made our way straight to the bar.

"Hey Bella, I'm just gonna go say hey to the guys and let them know we're here. You two gonna be okay?" Paul asked me. I nodded and turned to face Jess,

"You didn't tell me he was coming with Paul to pick us up!" I whispered harshly at me.

"I didn't know. Anyway, at least we got the awkward greeting out of the way. Didn't you see the way he looked at you! I swear he nearly came in his pants!" I told her, laughing.

We ordered two bottles of beer and two shots of tequila.

"ONE…..TWO…..THREE" we shouted in unison as we licked the salt, necked the tequila and sucked on the lime.

We heard two familiar laughs behind us and turned to find Jared and Paul leaning on the bar.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"Starting early?" Paul asked, still laughing.

"Honey, you have no idea" I replied, with a seductive smirk on my face.

I always felt more confident after a couple of drinks, it made it easier for me to socialise.

We spent the next few hours playing pool with the other pack members. I had managed to fleece them out of about one hundred dollars. Well, that's what they get for thinking it would be easy to beat a girl. Jess and Jared had really hit it off. He hadn't been able to take his eyes off of her. I'd say it was sweet, but there was something a little strange about it. Like the way Paul looked at me.

"Hey" I heard Paul whisper in my ear.

"Hi" I smiled.

"You having a good time?" he asked me, all the time smiling. I nodded.

"Good. So, did you wanna come back to mine tonight? I'll have you home early enough to go to work, promise"

How on earth could I say no to that?

"Yeah, sure. I don't start until eleven anyway so that's fine" I replied. I couldn't wait to get him alone.

A couple more hours passed by, as well as many more drinks. I was tipsy, not drunk, but Jess was most certainly hammered. Jared had offered to get her home safely, and while I appreciated the offer, I wasn't sure I trusted him.

"Whatever your thinking beautiful, he wont harm her. And he definitely wont take advantage, believe me. He couldn't hurt her if he tried" I was a little confused by what he had just said.

"That sounds a little weird…" I whispered.

"You'll find out soon enough. Speaking of, there's a bonfire on Friday night. I'd like it if you could come?" he asked me.

"Of course" I replied.

I wanted to leave right at that moment, I wanted to get him on his own. Tonight I would show him the exact effect he had on me.

…...

Paul POV

It had been ridiculously difficult to keep my hands off Bella tonight. She looked phenomenal, and there was nothing hotter than a girl that could hold her own in a game of pool. Jake & Quil hadn't know what hit them when she pocketed all eight of her balls without so much as giving them a sniff of the table. Bella had eventually agreed to let Jared take Jess home. Of course I knew the reason he was so keen, but I wouldn't be able to tell Bella until she knew about us.

We were sat in my living room watching some pointless show on the television.

"Do you realise what I want to do to you right now?" I was taken aback by her words.

She looked over at me, smiling seductively.

"Oh really, why don't you fill me in on what's going on in your head?" I asked her, desperate to know what she was thinking.

She said nothing, only crawling in between my legs. My cock was rock hard by now, and she knew it. She unbuckled my belt, unzipped my pants and pulled them down around my ankles.

"And just exactly what do you think your doing?" I asked her, grinning like a child.

"Well, you'll just have to wait and see now wont you" she replied, huskily.

She took my cock out of my boxer shorts and began to pump it up and down. Her tiny hands felt amazing wrapped around it. In my mind I was begging for her to wrap her gorgeous lips around it, but I would let her have her fun.

Before I knew it, that's exactly what she was doing. She ran her tongue around the head and then took the entire length into her mouth. I was impressed. She bobbed her head up and down furiously.

"Oh….fuck Bella" I muttered.

She heard me and began sucking and pumping harder. The feel of her warm lips around me sent shivers through my entire body. I could feel my release getting closer as she licked my cock from the base to the head, taking the whole length inside her again and again. As she nibbled at the head I felt myself becoming closer.

"Baby….I'm gonna….Oh fuck!" I howled as I filled her mouth with my load.

She lapped it all up and smacked her lips together. That was single handedly the best blow job I had ever received. Oh she was gonna get it…..

"Right Miss Swan….Get your hot ass up those stairs. I'm gonna make you come so hard you wont be able to walk for a week!" I shouted.

She didn't need to be told twice as she legged it up the stairs, ripping her clothes off as she went.

This would be a long night…

…...

**Do you hate me? Lol.**

**I had to end it there as this chapter was getting stupidly long.**

**Anyways, what did you think?**

**What are your thoughts on Jared imprinting on Jessica.**

**Thank you all for reading and please leave a review.**

**Should have the next chapter up in the next couple of days**

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**


	9. Dont Forget To Remember Me

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or the characters in it. **

_She lapped it all up and smacked her lips together. That was single handedly the best blow job I had ever received. Oh she was gonna get it….._

"_Right Miss Swan….Get your hot ass up those stairs. I'm gonna make you come so hard you wont be able to walk for a week!" I shouted._

_She didn't need to be told twice as she legged it up the stairs, ripping her clothes off as she went._

_This would be a long night…_

…...

Bella POV

The next few days went by quickly. I hadn't seen Paul since the night we all went to the bar, but I knew there was a reason for it. Patrolling. It was their job as protectors of their tribe. I heard from Paul that they got paid an average wage for it even though the decision to do it was out of their control. To be honest, I found the whole wolf thing kinda sexy. He was a big, strong man. My wolf, and by god he was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen.

Tonight was the night of the bonfire. I could tell that it wasn't going to be an average night at the beach, but I couldn't work out what the night had in store for me. I was a little anxious to say the least. I had been told that usually the elders would be at such an event, but not tonight. Jess had been invited too, which freaked me out a little. How on earth were they going to keep it a secret from her? The whole point of this bonfire was the pack getting together, so I had no clue why she would be involved. Or me for that matter. I couldn't say I wasn't curious though.

I was going to meet Jess there as she was working late, I had finished at five. So here I was, getting ready. It was pretty cold out so I opted for a pair of snug skinny jeans and a thick grey jumper. I topped it off with my Uggs and my leather jacket. Paul liked the jacket, and I had found myself wanting to please him at every chance I got. I had never been like this before, not even with Edward. My first love. My first everything.

I had already said those words to Paul, and we both knew it. I had said it the first night we slept together since id seen him again, and he hadn't said it back. It hurt a little, but I figure we've come a long way since the night at the beach so I wouldn't bring it up again.

As I made my way to the beach, I thought of all the times I'd spent with Edward. I couldn't place why, but all of a sudden there were so many questions running through my mind. Why had he just disappeared? He told me he loved me, that we were meant to be together for an eternity and then he just left. Not even a goodbye. I obviously wasn't even worth that much, and that stung. We had always had a strange relationship. It took me months to persuade him to sleep with me. Don't get me wrong I wasn't easy by any means, he was my first, and when we finally managed it, it was pretty bad. It was cold and unemotional, nothing like it is with Paul. When Paul and I were together, it was amazing. Like we were made to fit each other. Id often thought of asking him if he was seeing anybody else, but I couldn't bear the answer being yes, so I left it at that.

I pulled up in the car park ten minutes later and made my way over to the bonfire. I could faintly see a group of people sitting around it, chatting away. The sound of music pumping from the stereo was drowning out their words so I couldn't hear what they were saying. As I got closer I could see Emily and Kim sitting on a nearby log, so I decided to join them.

"Hey Bella" They greeted me, with a huge smiles on their faces.

"Hey guys, how are you?" I asked, smiling back.

"Oh you know, looking after these guys can be tiring, but now I've got a new recruit to help me. That should take to load off" Emily replied.

"Well I have to warn you, I'm not domesticated. I can barely iron a shirt!" I told her, laughing.

"Well, it takes practice. We'd be happy to give you a lesson, wouldn't we Kim?" Emily nudged her.

"Ah, well I've got a feeling that it'll all come naturally soon enough" she said, winking at me.

As I looked across the bonfire, there he was. My wolf, and he had never looked better. Standing there with nothing on but a pair of grey sweats, he looked raw and perfect. As our eyes met, he shot me a smile. _That_ smile could charm the panties off a nun, and he knew it.

"See something you like Bella?" Kim asked me, I heard Emily giggling on the other side of her.

"Well, what can I say? You've seen him. There are no words…." I replied, giggling along.

"Well Bella, we want words. Tell us how you feel, you can trust us" Emily told me.

"What do you wanna know?" I asked her.

"Well, for a start, how are you two doing?"

"Good I guess. I haven't actually seen the night we went to the bar, but I guess he was patrolling. The last time we did see each other was interesting though" I told her, replaying that night back in my mind.

"_Please Paul, I cant wait much longer" I begged. _

_I heard him chuckle as he made his way back up my body, placing gentle kisses on my stomach and breasts. I had never felt anything to blissful as his lips on my body. He knew exactly where to touch me._

_As he reached my face, I felt him run his tongue along my jaw line and the heat between my thighs reached boiling point. I needed him inside me._

"_Please, fuck me" I begged again._

_Hearing those words did something to him, something I liked. Before I knew it I was on my hands and knees, my head resting on a pillow in front of me. I felt him run his hard length along my slick folds. He was driving me crazy. _

"_What do you want me to do, Bella?" he asked me._

"_Fuck me, I cant stand it anymore" I groaned, I heard him chuckle._

_With that, he placed himself at my entrance and slowly pushed himself inside of me. His hard length stretched me, but at the same time he fitted perfectly. He started off with slow, gentle thrusts. _

"_Oh god…" I moaned._

"_You like that?" he asked me, whilst gripping my hips with his hands._

"_Yes…oh yes….harder" I replied._

_He was quick to oblige as his thrusts became faster, harder and more desperate. As he pounded me, I could feel myself getting closer and closer to the edge. He was amazing. I could feel his hands all over my back, gently rubbing circles down my spine. His touch made the hairs on the back of my neck stand to attention._

"_God Bella….I cant….Im gonna….soon" I heard him mumble behind me. _

_With a few more urgent thrusts we fell over the edge together. It felt like my head was going to explode, my blood was burning and I could feel him filling me up inside. He finished with a few gentle thrusts and then I collapsed on to the bed, him laying beside me with his legs wrapped around mine. _

"_Wow" I gasped._

"_Its always wow when its with you, Bella" he replied._

_With the biggest smile on my face, I fell asleep._

"Bella, earth to Bella!" I heard Emily shouting to me.

"What? Sorry" I replied, snapping out of my daydream.

"You've been staring into space for the past five minutes, anything interesting going on inside that head of yours?" She asked me, smirking.

"Wouldn't you like to know" I replied, poking my tongue out.

"Oh I think I know what she's thinking about" Kim mumbled, chuckling to herself.

"Well, you've both got your own hot wolves, I'm sure you know what its like" I reminded them.

"Oh yeah Bella, we definitely know what your talking about. Embry definitely knows what he's doing" Kim said, wandering off into her own imagination.

I rolled my eyes and stood up.

"I'm gonna get a drink, you guys want anything?" I asked them

"We're good Bella" Emily replied, holding her cup up at me.

I nodded as I made my way over to the table harbouring the beverages. I poured myself a vodka and lemonade.

"Hey" I heard a whisper, and a warm finger tracing circles on my neck.

I turned around to face him. God, I would never tire of seeing his face. He was truly beautiful.

"Hi" I whispered back, not tearing my eyes away from his for a millisecond.

"Sorry I haven't been to see you, you know how it is. Sam's got us patrolling double time" he explained.

"Its okay, don't worry about it. I've been pretty busy myself" I lied.

In between working and sleeping I spent all of my time thinking of him. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't ignore the dull ache inside of me when we weren't together.

"Well that's good to know" he smiled. Oh god, that smile.

"We're just finishing up with some pack business and then we'll be gathering around the bonfire. Well, when Jess gets here that is" he told me.

"I meant to ask you, why is Jess invited? I love her and all, but how are you all gonna hide this from her? She's more perceptive than people give her credit for"

"All will be revealed baby" he winked at me, and with that really useful piece of information he walked back over to the guys.

I made my way back over to Emily and Kim and sat down in front of them on the sand. They had been deep in conversation but had immediately stopped the minute they spotted me.

"Spill it girls" I demanded.

"We cant Bella. Its not for us to say" Kim told me.

"God, what's with all the cryptic talk tonight? First Paul, then you. I don't think I can take much more of this" I said, taking a long sip of my drink.

"Bella!" I heard Jess shout.

I turned to find her running towards us with a huge grin plastered on her face.

"Hey Jess" I replied, patting the sand beside me.

"Um, actually, do you think we could go over there and talk? I've got something for you" She told me, her smile faded a little. Something was wrong, I could sense it.

"Sure, everything okay?" I asked her, standing up slowly.

"I'm not really sure, but it wouldn't be fair for me to not show you" she replied, walking in front of me towards the tree line.

I shot Emily and Kim a worried look and then followed behind her. We stood up against the trees for a few minutes before she said anything.

"Bella, I don't know how to start" she mumbled.

"Come on Jess, what's going on? I'm getting a little worried now" I replied.

"Okay" she whispered, as she pulled a package out of her pocket and handed it to me.

"Whats this?" I asked her.

"I found it on the porch when I got home from work. I went back to change my clothes and it was just sitting there on the bench. Its addressed to you" She told me, all the while looking down at her feet.

I looked down at the package in my hand and turned it over to I could see culprits handwriting. I gasped when I realised who it was from. _Edward._ I hadn't heard from him since he'd left me almost a year ago to the day.

"Oh my god…" I whispered to myself.

"Do you want me to open it for you?" Jess asked me, placing her hand on my shoulder.

"N…no. Ill do it. Stay with me while I do though?" I asked her.

"Of course Bella"

I ran my nimble fingers along the seal, all the while wondering what the hell was inside. I finally plucked up the courage to look inside as I ripped the envelope apart. Out fell a square, purple velvet jewellery box.

As it landed on the sand, I noticed a piece of paper falling in the same path. Jess bent down and picked both up, placing them in my hands.

"Bella…." she urged.

I looked down at the box and slowly lifted the lid. I was astonished by what I saw. A stunning gold necklace laced with sapphires and diamonds twinkled up at me. It was beautiful and I was captivated by it.

"Whoa…" I heard Jess whisper.

"Why? I don't understand" I replied, slowly sliding down the tree trunk.

"Do you want me to leave you while you read the letter?" She asked me.

I nodded slowly, and with that she squeezed my shoulder gently and walked back towards the bonfire.

"Here goes nothing" I whispered to myself as I unfolded the paper.

_My beloved Isabella,_

_I have missed you so much, more than you could imagine. Not a moment goes by when I do not think of you. I cannot express how sorry I am that I left you alone. I always told you that we were meant to be together forever, and we were. Maybe we still are. However, I cannot expect you to forgive me. What I did was cruel and unforgivable, but believe me Bella, I only did what had to be done to keep you safe. I couldn't bear anything happening to you. I know you took it badly, and I shouldn't have expected any less. I came to you when you were in hospital after that night. I am so sorry you felt the need to turn to drugs to ease the loss. If I had known that you could have been so reckless, I never would have left. You still hold my heart my love, and you always will as long as I live. I can only hope that if I return you would be willing to see me. I know I do not deserve your time, but I would be so elated if you would grant me that. On hearing of your new found friendships, I imagine that you will find out why I left soon enough. My only wish is that you are not angry with me when you find out the truth. I have written my cell phone number on the back of this letter, if you did wish to call. I hope you like the necklace, it belonged to my mother and I'm sure it will look just as beautiful if not more so on you. _

_I love you Isabella_

_Your Edward, always_

_Xx_

I couldn't see through the tears that were streaming down my face. I couldn't place the emotions that I was feeling as so many were running through me at once. He left to protect me. From what? I had spent months wondering why he abandoned me and I was going to find out soon? I was wary and scared. I didn't know if I could handle the truth, or if I even wanted to hear it. I let the letter drop beside me as I grabbed at my hair, weaving my fingers through it. Just as I was getting over it, this had to happen. Just as _he_ was making my life better.

"Bella" I heard Jess whisper.

I looked up to face her and she rushed to my side pulling me to her arms. I sobbed into her, muffling the sound with my hands. Why now? I couldn't grasp that he had contacted me, finally after all this time.

"I don't understand….Why is he doing this to me now? Just when everything was getting better?" I sobbed.

"I don't know honey, I really don't" She whispered to me.

"I don't know what to do" I sobbed helplessly.

Paul POV

I had been so anxious to tell Bella about the imprint. Everything had been going so smoothly between us so obviously something had to ruin it, right? Of course.

Sometimes people forget that us wolves have impeccable hearing, and sometimes it can definitely be a bad thing. She didn't know, but I had heard everything and it ripped through me like fire. I desperately wanted to be by her side, comforting her but on the other side of the card I wanted to knock some sense into her. She didn't what he was, I knew that, but that didn't stop me from being really fucking angry.

"Dude, calm down" I heard Jake whisper.

I was shaking uncontrollably and I was sure that I was going to phase right there in front of everybody.

"Think about being with her, in every way possible" I heard Sam suggest.

I was willing to give anything a try at this point. So I did. I thought of every moment we had spent together, I thought of every inch of her perfect body and all the things I had done to it. I thought of everything she did to me, her hands, her mouth, everything. I felt myself slowly calming down as I remembered the night she told me she loved me.

"See, it works. Your body wont allow you to hurt her like that if you don't let it" Sam told me.

I opened my eyes and nodded. As I looked over towards the woods I could see Bella walking back towards the car park with Jess. She was leaving. Whatever she had read in that letter made her want to leave. Without thinking I ran as fast as I could towards her.

"Bella! Where are you going?" I asked her, the desperation in my voice was obvious.

She wouldn't look at me, she just continued to stare down at the floor.

"Paul, now isn't a great time. I need to get her home" Jess told me, with a apologetic look in her eye.

"No Bella, you cant go. There's stuff I need to tell you, please" I begged.

She still wouldn't look at me and I was really starting to get pissed off.

"ISABELLA! WILL YOU FUCKING LOOK AT ME!" I shouted.

She nearly jumped out of her skin as she looked into my eyes. Her face was red and puffy from the crying. God I wanted to know what was written in that letter.

"I cant…I….I have to go home" she whispered.

"No" I said, firmly.

"Please…I just cant do this right now. Please let me go." she begged me.

I was losing her, I could feel it.

"Fine…you go. But don't you dare expect me to be waiting around for you!" I shouted to her as I ran back towards the bonfire.

I instantly regretted my words as I heard her sobbing violently in the distance, but I refused to let myself look back. I knew that if I did, the sight of it would break me in two. No, she wanted to leave so I would let her. I hadn't realised that Sam had been with me the entire time until he called my name.

"Paul! I think you might wanna see this!" he shouted to me.

I turned quickly on my heel to see him holding out a piece of paper, folded in the middle. _The letter._

I took it from his hand and stared at it blankly. I would read it, but Id be damned if anyone else would.

"Thanks" I whispered as I ran towards the woods.

I would read every word and hope to god that he wasn't coming back here, because if he did I wouldn't be held accountable for my actions. Mortal enemies. Most definitely.

…...

**Oooooh is he gonna make an appearance? Well, this is an angst-filled story so what do you guys think? ****J **

**I hope you enjoyed reading. Sorry it took me a couple of days, but I've got two small children to care for too so its difficult to fit it the writing time! **

**Please review and let me know what you thought! Your reviews spur me on to write! I know then that you all enjoy what I do.**

**Thanks for reading **

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxx**


	10. Where Is Your Heart

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**Well we all know Jess cant keep anything to herself for too long!**

**Thanks for reviewing, it makes me feel special!**

**Well without further ado, here we go!**

**Expect more drama!**

**I recommend listening to Furslide - Over My Head whilst reading this chapter! **

**Fantastic song!**

…**...**

_I instantly regretted my words as I heard her sobbing violently in the distance, but I refused to let myself look back. I knew that if I did, the sight of it would break me in two. No, she wanted to leave so I would let her. I hadn't realised that Sam had been with me the entire time until he called my name._

"_Paul! I think you might wanna see this!" he shouted to me._

_I turned quickly on my heel to see him holding out a piece of paper, folded in the middle. The letter. _

_I took it from his hand and stared at it blankly. I would read it, but Id be damned if anyone else would._

"_Thanks" I whispered as I ran towards the woods._

_I would read every word and hope to god that he wasn't coming back here, because if he did I wouldn't be held accountable for my actions. Mortal enemies. Most definitely._

Paul POV

I had been sitting underneath that oh so familiar tree for around two hours, I still had the letter crumpled up in my fist. I had read it over and over again, each time made me angrier. How dare he just waltz straight back into her life after all this time? She was mine. I could never let her leave me for another, let alone a filthy bloodsucker.

"Bella, I'm gonna go to bed now. I've got work early and I'm beat. I already texted Evie for you, your shift is covered for tomorrow so don't worry. You gonna be okay?" I heard Jess speak.

I waited with baited breath for her answer, but I heard nothing.

"Okay baby girl, ill check on you before I go to work in the morning" I heard Jess say.

I heard the door close and then nothing. Nothing apart from her breathing and the faint sound of her heartbeat. I was torn. I could do one of three things. One, I could sit here until morning. Two, I could go up to her room and have it out with her. Or three, I could walk away and do as she asked.

Then again, I'm not one to do as I'm told and I never would be. I couldn't lie, nothing would make me happier at that moment to mark her and make her mine for all to see, but I wouldn't do that. I respected Bella enough to let her make her own decisions, well apart from the last thing she'd asked of me. How could she expect me to stay away from her after this? Tonight was meant to be the night she found out about everything. About the imprint. Right now I felt the worst kind of rejection, and I wasn't used to it.

All of a sudden I heard her sob quietly to herself. It broke my heart not to be able to hold her, comfort her and make the pain go away.

"Paul…." I heard her whisper through the sobs.

I looked up at her window, I couldn't see her. She wanted me there? Right then I made my decision. I pulled myself up off the ground and reached into my pocket for my cell and dialled her number. I waited patiently until I heard her phone ringing inside her room. It rang for a few seconds…..still no answer. I stood there waiting for what felt like a lifetime before I heard her sweet voice on the other end of the line.

"Hello…."

_Sweet Bella._

"Hey Bella" I replied, sighing.

"I…I'm sorry for leaving" she sobbed "you probably don't want to see me again, I'm such an idiot"

"Bella, look out of your window" I told her.

Suddenly the line went dead. I took a few steps forward and waited for her to appear in the window.

I waited a few moments and then she came into view. She half smiled at me as she slid her window open.

"Come up?" she asked, almost begging.

I nodded and climbed the tree, swinging myself into her room. She looked a little shocked at my actions.

"I meant through the door?" she said, half heartedly, tucking her hair behind her ear.

It was then that I got to take a good look at her. Her face was red and swollen from all the tears. She was wearing a pair of tiny black boy shorts and a matching tank top. Her hair was dishevelled, the only way I could describe it in my mind was bed hair, but to me she had never looked more pure.

"What can I say? Wolves don't use doors" I replied, chuckling.

She stood in front of my in silence, with her arms wrapped around her torso.

"Sorry….." she said again.

"Bella, do you want him?" I asked her, my tone more serious.

She didn't answer. God, the suspense was killing me.

"No….I don't think….I don't know" she told me.

"Oh…well you know, that's all I needed to hear. I'll be going now, I wont stay here trying to sway your decision. Here, you dropped this" I said as I handed the note to her.

"NO! I mean, please don't go. I'm so sorry I left, I really wanted to hear what you had to say? This just caught me off guard. It's a huge shock for me, I haven't heard from him in so long. Please, stay and tell me what you were going to tell me at the bonfire" she pleaded, stepping closer towards me.

"Now isn't the time for what I have to say, Bella. It would only confuse you further" I replied.

"Please, you cant leave me. I feel so empty when your not here. I don't know what's happening to me. I get this ache right here" she said, pointing to her chest.

"Do you know why this is happening to me?" she asked me quietly.

I said nothing. I really didn't want now to be the moment I told her that she was my soul mate. It shouldn't happen this way.

"I cant say anything right now, Bella" I told her, still not looking her in the eye.

Before I knew it her body was crashing into mine, wrapping her arms around my neck.

"See, now I feel better. I don't understand. Please, stay with me" She begged.

How could I possibly turn her down. It was physically impossible, I couldn't.

"Okay, but I need a smoke. I haven't phased since this afternoon and I really don't want to do it in the middle of your bedroom, so I need to calm down a little" I explained. She simply nodded.

I took a joint out of my pocket, brought it to my lips and lit it. As I inhaled and exhaled I began to feel a little calmer. Bella walked over to her window and say in the armchair, tucking her knees up under her chin.

"You want some? I think you could use it" I offered, holding it out for her.

"Sure. I guess it couldn't make things any worse" she replied as she took it.

I watched her as she inhaled and blew the smoke out. She stayed silent and I was desperate to know what she was thinking.

"Bella…." I muttered as I sat down on the edge of her bed with my head in my hands.

Still she said nothing.

"I'm so sorry…." she whispered.

"You need to tell me what your sorry for Bella. I need to know if your going to go back to _him_" I told her.

Still silent. She was killing me.

"I don't….I cant tell you that. I don't think so but I need to hear what he has to say" she replied, quietly.

My head shot up and anger raced through my veins.

"After all of this? That's what you want to do. You actually _want_ to speak to that mother fucker! I don't believe this! I cant take this shit, I cant stay here with you knowing that your going to rip my fucking heart out!" I shouted.

She threw the remains of the joint out of the window and stood up. She slowly walked towards me. By this point my whole body was shaking, it took all my will power not to phase right there in her room. I closed my eyes tight, desperately trying to calm down.

"Paul…." I heard her whisper into my ear as she draped her arm around my neck.

"No…I cant Bella. You have no idea what you are to me! You were supposed to find out tonight, and we were supposed to together"

She ran her free arm up and down my naked chest softly, tracing circles. I felt myself calming at her touch. She had no idea what she could do to me.

"Tell me….I want to know" she whispered again.

"No Bella…Its not the right time" I told her through clenched teeth.

"Please….You know how I feel about you. You've heard it, I know you have. Those three little words" She muttered as she buried her head in my chest.

I instinctively wrapped my arms around her waist, all I wanted to do was protect her.

"I know Bella" I whispered as I rested my chin on the top of her head.

"I love you" was all I heard before she leapt into me, wrapping her legs around my waist.

Bella POV

I wanted to show him how much he meant to me, that he was the only person I could think about. Being without him was like being without oxygen. I wanted him to know that he set my heart on fire.

I mashed my lips to his, forcing my tongue into his mouth. He tasted like nothing else id ever known. I felt him tug at my bottom lip with his teeth and felt the wetness pool between my thighs.

"Oh….Ppp…Paul" I moaned.

I felt his hands running up and down my sides gently and I pushed myself against him further. I ran my fingers through his hair, tugging at it softly. I heard him growl slightly at my touch. I could feel how much he wanted me, his hardness pressing into my core. The only thing separating us was his sweats and my cotton panties. I wanted to wrap myself up in him, let him know how much he meant to me.

Before I knew it I was laying flat on the bed with him hovering above me, his hands still tracing lines up and down my body.

"Undress me" I ordered softly.

A small smile form on his lips as I lifted my arms up above my head, silently gesturing that he remove my tank top. I felt him peeling the fabric up and over my breasts, then over my head before he threw it to the floor. He lowered his head and began to kiss my chest lightly. I felt him take my left breast into his mouth whilst playing with the right with his free hand.

"Oh god…." I moaned, earning a growl from him.

As he caressed my nipples I was aching for more. I needed to feel his body on mine, inside mine. I leant up, resting on my elbows as he brought his face up to mine. We sat there for a second, just studying each other.

"Beautiful" he muttered before laying me back down.

I felt his delicious tongue working its way down my body. He was playing with the waist band of my boy shorts as I lifted my ass up off the bed, praying that he would peel them off, preferably with his teeth. Oh I loved it when he did that. Instead I felt him prying my thighs apart, not that it took much work. I was putty in his hands.

"I want to taste you" I heard him whisper.

"Oh…please…now" I groaned back at him.

I felt his hot breath on my core through my shorts. _Please just take them off!_

He slowly pulled them down, kissing every inch of my legs as he went. I heard them land on the floor as he brought his face back to my burning centre.

"You are breathtaking" he whispered.

I suddenly felt him plant a gently kiss on my clit and I swear I nearly exploded right there. He followed by tracing circles with his tongue over my precious bundle of nerves. I arched my back up off the bed and grasped the sheets between my finger tips. I felt his tongue darting at me before he pushed two fingers inside of me.

"OH GOD!" I howled.

I was in heaven as he pumped his fingers inside of me, all the while still caressing me with his tongue. As I felt my orgasm building I pulled his head closer to me.

"Fu…I….Coming…"

Suddenly fireworks went off inside my head. I was burning with pleasure, but still aching to feel him inside of me.

"Please, I need more" I panted breathlessly.

He said nothing but rolled me over so I was straddling his hips. Our lips crashed together as I desperately clawed out at his chest. I wanted to be closer, I could never be too close to him.

Paul POV

Did she have any idea what she could do to me?

I watched her as she reached the waistband of my sweats and pulled them down slowly. I wanted her, I needed to feel her. So I pulled her back up my body. I felt her tiny hands grasping onto my cock as she slowly began to pump it.

"Oh Bella…" I muttered.

I felt her moving faster as she tightened her grip on me. My head was in the clouds completely and I knew that if I didn't take her now that id be finished in no time.

"Bella….please just let me feel you" I begged.

She looked up at me with those beautiful chocolate eyes an smiled softly. She lifted herself above my length and then painfully slowly, lowered herself onto me. I watched her as her eyes rolled back into her skull at the feel of me inside her.

"Fuck…so tight" I groaned.

She started to slowly ride me, grinding herself into me and damn it felt good. I gripped her hips tightly, causing her to quicken her pace. I slowly started to meet her thrusts with my hips, hearing the sound of our flesh clashing together.

"Oh god…" she whimpered, taking her bottom lip between her teeth.

As I pumped her harder I could feel her walls tightening around my cock, she wasn't far off and neither was I. As she grinded herself down onto me harder I felt my release closing in on me.

"Oh Bella….fucking….coming!" I yelled.

I heard her moan in appreciation as she quickened her pace even more, bouncing up and down on my cock. The feel of her velvet flesh on mine was bliss. She clawed at my chest as she reached her climax. There was never a more beautiful sight than this. All of the blood had rushed to her cheeks and chest, her eyes tight shut and that damn bottom lip. I pushed myself into her a few more times before I filled her with my seed.

"Fuuuuckkk" I growled as I came.

"Oh god…" she muttered as she collapsed onto my chest.

We lay there in silence just holding each other. I could feel the beads of sweat dripping down over her shoulders and onto my chest. Her breathing was still heavy but was softening slowly.

"It will never be like this with anyone else will it?" she muttered into my chest.

"No, never." I whispered, placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head.

"Then I never want it with anybody else" she whispered.

At that moment my heart soared. She wanted me. Nobody else but me. Neither of us were perfect but we were perfect together and that was all that mattered.

"I love you. You know that right?" she asked, looking up at me with those beautiful orbs.

I nodded as she lay her head back down to my chest.

"Are you gonna tell me what you were meant to say tonight?" she asked me sleepily.

"You're my soul mate" I told her with no hesitation.

I waited for a moment as silence filled the room.

"I already knew that" I heard her murmur before she fell into sleep.

In an instant, I knew that I had nothing to be afraid of, nothing to hold me back. She was mine.

I looked down at her. There was no doubt about it, she was amazing. She slept silently that night but I couldn't bring myself to miss this moment. I just wanted to stay awake forever so that I didn't miss a second of being with her. I couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to her. I would die before any harm came to her.

She was my reason for living and no matter what obstacles I came across, I would survive for her.

"I love you my sweet angel" I whispered into her ear.

…...

**Well what did you think? Let me know and review!**

**Its all mushy mush for now, but it wont stay that way for long. **

**Its inevitable that Paul and Bella are meant to be together but that doesn't mean there wont be fireworks in the future.**

**And especially when a certain vampire makes his comeback.**

**Speaking of I wrote this chapter after watching Remember Me and I gotta say I haven't cried like that in a long while!**

**Anyway, next chapter will be up soon.**

**Thanks for reading **

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**


	11. For Tonight Your Only Here To Know

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, if I did Bella wouldn't end up with Edward!**

**I should specify that in my story, Leah isn't a wolf but she is aware of it because of her brother. **

**Enjoy!**

_I looked down at her. There was no doubt about it, she was amazing. She slept silently that night but I couldn't bring myself to miss this moment. I just wanted to stay awake forever so that I didn't miss a second of being with her. I couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to her. I would die before any harm came to her. _

_She was my reason for living and no matter what obstacles I came across, I would survive for her. _

"_I love you my sweet angel" I whispered into her ear._

…...

Bella POV

So we were soul mates. Whether or not he was serious I didn't know, but one thing I did know was that I hoped he'd meant it. When I'd received the letter from Edward, a big part of me panicked. Suddenly everything that was clear became hazy and I had momentarily questioned my feelings for Paul. Thankfully the minute he had stepped into my room, I had a cold hard slap back to reality.

There was nobody like Paul. I would never find anybody like him. I was pretty sure that I could look for one hundred years and still find nobody even close to him. I wanted to make myself better for him and I wanted to be perfect for him. Thankfully, we pretty much liked the same things. Music, drugs and sex. Admittedly, there was a lot more to it than that. Whenever we were together it was like two halves of a puzzle coming together. When I wasn't here I couldn't function properly and I constantly felt like a part of me was missing. Going without him for a day was bad enough but sometimes when I didn't see him for longer, my heart yearned to be closer.

I knew that Edwards letter had startled Paul, but he was acting a little stranger than I would expect. He seemed on edge and kept muttering curses under his breath. I wasn't aware that Edward and Paul had ever met but it was something I would have to ask him about. I was still undecided about calling Edward. I didn't want to be rude and not thank him for the necklace but at the same time all I wanted to do was lock it away in a drawer and never have to look at it again. I was torn.

So here I was, standing in the kitchen making Paul pancakes. I wasn't usually the domestic kind, but I felt the urge to take care of him. I had cooked up two kinds. Blueberry and chocolate chip. I was pretty sure he wouldn't be opposed to either, but you never know right?

Suddenly I felt a pair of warm hands grip my waist from behind. Again he had managed to set my whole body on fire from a single touch. I turned to face him and locked eyes with his.

"Good morning" he uttered sleepily.

"Good morning yourself. I made pancakes" I told him, eager for his approval.

"You are just perfect" he smiled.

He took a seat at the table as I plated up breakfast. I could feel his eyes scorching into my flesh. There was no doubt about it, whenever we were together there was a constant state of arousal and I knew he could smell it on me. Stupid wolf senses. I swear I was constantly gushing in his presence.

I placed his plate in front of him and leant back up against the counter.

"Your not eating?" he asked me in a confused tone.

"No, I don't eat breakfast" I said as I shook my head. He shrugged and carried on with his meal.

What he didn't know was my breakfast came in the form of a couple of lines of cocaine and a cigarette. Nobody knew and I wasn't planning on confessing any time soon.

"So your working today?" he asked me.

"Yeah. I finish at seven. What are you up to tonight?" I asked.

"I've got patrol until like eleven, but if you'll be up then ill be around" he replied, smiling.

"I was going to go into Port Angeles with Leah" I said, taking a sip of coffee.

His face fell and his lips twitched at the mention of Leah.

"What's up? Something I said?" I asked, confused.

"No its nothing. Its just sometimes she can be a little crazy, I don't want you getting sucked in that's all" he told me, continuing with his breakfast.

Little did he know that I was just as crazy as Leah, if not more so. Whenever we would get together we'd end up smashed and incoherent. The last time we had gone out just the two of us, we'd ended up passed out on the beach in our underwear. I guess going for a midnight swim whilst high probably wasn't the smartest idea, but when your brains buzzing from the intoxication you don't make rational decisions.

"Ok, well I need to get ready for work" I said, dismissing the subject.

I knew there'd be no way to hide my lifestyle from him with us now seemingly being in a relationship, but I'd hide it for as long as I could.

Paul POV

"So, everything's fine?" Sam asked me, stuffing his face with one of Emily's muffins.

"Yeah, I think so. I don't think she's going back to him. I swear if he comes back here Ill rip his throat out" I threatened.

"Well, I don't think that would be necessary" Sam scolded, letting out a slight chuckle.

"So, Leah and Bella huh?" he asked, probing for more information.

"Yeah, I know. You know why I'm worried right? Bella's already pretty familiar with recklessness but Leah's in a whole other league" I replied.

"I cant help but feel that its my fault. I know she went off the rails a little when I imprinted on Emily, but she's a totally different person now" Sam said, sighing.

Sam and Leah had been in love, and I'm not talking puppy love. I'm talking serious, passionate, I'd do anything for you, love. Then when Emily came into the picture, it tore everything to pieces. Emily is Leah's cousin and that makes it all a lot more complicated. When Sam imprinted on Emily, Leah completely crumbled. She still to this day hasn't forgiven Sam, but she's moved on. Well, that's what she says anyway. If you are unlucky enough to be in the presence of them when their together, you would definitely think differently. I knew that Sam still loved Leah, not half as much as he loved Emily, but he still cared. I knew that it tore him apart to have to leave Leah in that state, but you cant fight the imprint.

"Well, I'm just worried about Bella. I know I cant control her and I don't want to, but I just don't want her taking it all too far" I said, voicing my concern.

"Well your right, you cant control her. I mean, you could try, but I doubt it would get you very far. From what I can tell, she's definitely a defiant one. I'm sure if you tried to mould her to your own expectations, she'd end up going the complete opposite way. Just keep an eye on her" he suggested.

"There's not much I can do. She's her own woman and that's part of what I love about her"

"If I were you, I'd go on out to Port Angeles tonight when you've finished patrolling. I know it sounds a little stalker-like, but I'd just show up unannounced. Tell her you wanted to surprise her, and then you'll catch her when she's got her guard down. That way, she wont hold back and you'll be able to see if you've got anything to worry about or not" he told me, reaching for another muffin.

"You think I should spy on her?" I asked.

"Its not spying. Well, okay it is a little, but if your that worried it couldn't hurt. You'll probably find you've got nothing to worry about and that she's the same Bella she is when she's with you"

I knew it was wrong, and I knew she'd hate me for it, but I had to know. Was I with the _real_ Bella, or was she holding back?

Bella POV

"Oh god Leah!" I cried, downing my third shot of tequila.

We were already pretty tipsy and we hadn't even made it out of my bedroom yet.

"I've gotta meet Jared later, he's got some more of that stuff. I think I'm his best customer!" She said, giggling.

"If I give you some cash will you get me some? I don't want him blabbing to Paul and I haven't quite gotten around to telling him about how much I actually do" I asked her.

"Bella, your not some crackwhore with an addiction. Besides, Paul's not much better!" She squealed.

"Yeah I know" I replied.

This was evidence that nobody had a clue how much of that stuff I was putting away. On a good day it would be a gram, and on a bad day it would be three maybe four. I _was_ addicted, and I knew that, but I definitely wasn't about to admit it.

We had decided to hit the bars in Port Angeles tonight, and to be honest I was almost relieved that Paul was patrolling. I guess in a way, I was ashamed of my actions. I didn't want him to find out the real me. I was certain that if he knew how messed up I was, he wouldn't be interested. Who could blame him if he wasn't? I knew I couldn't hide it forever, but every second with him was worth the pain I knew I would eventually suffer.

"You ready Bella?" Leah called.

"Yeah ill be down in a sec" I shouted back, finishing my line.

I straightened my self out, pulling my halter top down over my stomach, making sure the trim of it met the waist line of my jeans. I sprit zed my newly curled hair with some spray to make sure it stayed in place throughout the evening.

Little did I know how eventful it would be.

….

As we walked into the bar, it was no shock that we got some immediate attention from the guys. I was by no means beautiful, but Leah on the other hand, well she was simply stunning. She always insisted on flaunting what she was given, so it was no shock that tonight she had opted for a tiny jean skirt and a teeny tiny tank top.

We walked over to the bar and ordered two rounds of shots and a beer each. We made our way through them quickly and ordered more. We carried on with the same routine until we were both pretty drunk.

"Bella! Lets dance!" She squealed.

As she grabbed hold of my hand to drag me to the dance floor, Lollipop by Lil Wayne started to blast through the speakers.

"Oh god, I love this song!" I cried, moving closer to Leah.

Our bodies moved together perfectly, which was pretty surprising given the state we were in. I turned my back to her and she moved into me, rocking our hips back and forth. Of course, dancing like this would bring even more attention our way, and Leah lived for it. I reached behind me and gripped her thighs, pulling her closer to me. I felt her grinding her hips onto mine and I couldn't help but wish that I had my gorgeous wolf to dance with. Just the thought of his hips rubbing against me set me on fire.

"Wow, you got it going on tonight missy!" Leah laughed as we made our way back over to the bar.

"Well what can I say? I'm quite the pro" I replied, winking in her direction.

"Oh hey, there's Jared!" she shouted, waving him over to us.

He waltzed over to us, fighting off the crowd of women that seemed to follow him wherever he went.

"Hello ladies" he said, smoothly.

"Well hello there, you've got quite the following there?" Leah teased.

"Nah, I'm not interested. I'm seeing somebody so…" he explained, rather sheepishly I might add.

"And who might that be?" I asked, already knowing. Jess.

"As if you need to ask that question Bella" he retorted, flashing me a huge grin.

"Well anyway, you got the stuff Jared?" Leah asked.

He leaned into her and whispered something that I couldn't quite hear. Before I knew it I was being dragged to the bathroom. Leah checked all of the cubicles before pulling me into one and locking the door. She pulled out a baggie filled to the brim.

"Oh my…this is the stuff from the bonfire. Its going to blow your head off!" she laughed, setting up four lines on the cistern of the toilet.

She rolled a note up tight and leant down to snort her two lines. When she finished she came back up and leant her head back against the toilet door.

"Shit…that's the stuff" she said, smiling.

She handed the note to me and I proceeded to finish off my lines. Finishing, I threw my head back and felt all of the blood rush to my heart. There was no feeling like it. When I finally opened my eyes, my brain was racing and my heart was pumping furiously. It felt amazing.

Leah stuffed the baggie into her bra and opened the toilet door. I checked that there were no remnants of powder around my nose in the mirror before we made our way back out to the bar.

We found Jared at the bar being hounded by two young girls. Both had bleach blonde hair and legs up to their eyeballs.

"Ladies! Here, I got you a drink" he shouted, clearly begging for us to save him.

"Thanks baby" Leah replied, doing her best to show that Jared was not for the taking.

Upon hearing those words the girls muttered something under their breaths and walked away.

"Thank god!" he said, sighing.

"Jesus Jared, that stuff is killer!" Leah screeched.

"Yeah, I know. I would have given you more but I've got a stash for Paul at home"

My ears pricked up at the mention of my mans name. I looked down at my watch. 11.26pm. He would surely have finished patrolling by now. God, I missed him.

"So Bella, you and Paul huh?" Jared suggested, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Oh please" I replied, rolling my eyes.

Maybe I could go over to his and surprise him when I left the bar, but then again with his wolfy senses he'd probably smell my arousal a mile away.

Paul POV

As I made my way through the crowd outside the bar I spotted Jared outside talking on the phone.

"I know honey, I'll come by later" I heard him say as I made my way closer.

He flicked his eyes up to meet mine, holding his hand out to stall me from talking for a moment.

"Okay, bye sweetie" he said as he cut off the call.

"Hey man! I didn't know you were coming tonight, Bella didn't say anything" he said, bumping shoulders with me.

"Yeah, I didn't tell her. Wanted to surprise her, you know" I replied, hoping he wouldn't see through my plan.

"That's cool man. I gotta warn you though, she's pretty wasted. You should see her and Leah! Man if I wasn't whipped I'd get a kick out of it!" he laughed.

"Jesus, that girls not good for Bella" I sighed.

"Oh come on, your no angel yourself" he said, walking into the bar.

As I looked around to find my angel, I was completely aware of the eyes on me. This happened often and before I imprinted on Bella I would have gladly encouraged it. Now it just seemed seedy and all together sickening. All I wanted to do was find her and get her into my arms.

I continued my way to the bar and that's when I smelt it. Leech. Something inside of me snapped. If he was here I wasn't sure I'd be able to control myself. I didn't want him anywhere near her.

"Dude, you smell that?" Jared whispered so quietly, only a fellow wolf would hear him.

"Yeah man, I swear if its him I'll rip him to shreds right here" I replied, equally as quiet.

"Nah its not him, the scents surrounded by perfume, its definitely a chick" he said, quickening his pace.

"Where is she Jared?" I asked, getting frustrated.

"She's over there with Leah" he answered, pointing over to the bar.

I looked over and my heart almost jumped out of my chest. There she was. My beautiful angel. Her cheeks were a heavenly shade of pink and the sound of her laughter filled my head. I had forgotten about the leech for a moment when all of a sudden I saw her. Standing right beside Bella. I panicked. Before I knew it I was at Bella's side.

"Baby!" she screeched, leaping into my arms.

I wrapped my arms tight around her, looking over her shoulder to give the filthy bloodsucker my best death stare. She just smiled at me. _She fucking smiled!_

"Baby, this is Rosalie. Edwards sister" she muttered.

"Well hello, you must be the elusive Paul. I hope you've been keeping your paws to yourself"

"For your information, my paws will be wherever Bella wants them to be, and trust me she doesn't complain" I shot back.

She simply chuckled and patted Bella on the shoulder before walking away. It took all the strength I had not to strangle the bitch.

"Honey, what's wrong?" she asked me sweetly, looking up into my eyes.

_Oh, those beautiful eyes._

"Is he here?" I asked, gritting my teeth.

"No…no he's not. Rosalie came to check on their old house. He's not coming back Paul" she whispered.

I couldn't tell if she was disappointed or not, but the fact that he wasn't here was enough to calm me.

"So much for a girls night out" I heard Leah snipe behind me.

I spun on my heel to face her.

"You better have been looking after Bella" I growled.

"Oh don't be a party pooper. She's a big girl and she can do whatever she likes. I cant stop her" she replied, laughing lightly.

"We both know your not the best influence. I hope you haven't been stuffing that shit up her nose all night"

"Are you serious? You do realise how much of that stuff you put away, right? Oh Paul, always the hypocrite. Besides, Bella knows what she wants. I definitely don't have to force her" she replied, giggling.

"Baby" I heard Bella mutter as she fell into me.

Jesus, she _was_ wasted. I grabbed tight hold of her and pulled her into my side.

"I wanna go home" she mumbled.

"Okay honey, give me a minute okay?" I asked. She nodded her head.

I placed her up against the bar before turning around to face Leah.

"Do you get some kind of kick out of dragging people down with you?" I whispered roughly into her ear.

"I'm not gonna stand here and listen to your shit. How dare you? Bella isn't a little girl, she's a grown up!" she shouted back at me before walking off into the crowd.

I said my goodbyes to Jared before picking Bella up. She wrapped her legs around my waist and rested her head on my shoulder. I carried her out to my truck and placed her into the passenger side, clipping her belt around her.

Around half an hour later we were back at my place. She had been asleep the whole ride home, so I'd carried her in and laid her down on the sofa. I had been watching her sleep for around an hour now, she looked so peaceful that I couldn't bring myself to wake her.

"Mmmmm….Paul" she moaned.

I swear my cock went hard almost immediately. She was dreaming about me, and I was desperate to know exactly what she was dreaming about. I wasn't an asshole so I wouldn't take advantage, but an insight would be heavenly.

"Oh god….don't stop" she moaned again, this time arching her back up off the sofa.

She was killing me. All I wanted to do in that moment was ravage her. I had to wake her before she did anymore damage. So I stood up and hovered over her, placing my palm on her cheek. She was so warm.

"Paul…" she whimpered.

"Yeah honey, wake up" I shook her a little.

She writhed beneath, her arms stretched high above her head. I caught a flash of her milky skin beneath her halter and sucked in my breath, closing my eyes. I could already smell her arousal whilst I was sitting in the chair, but now that I was standing above her the scent filled my nostrils.

"Hey" I heard her whisper.

I opened my eyes and found hers staring right back up at me. She was so beautiful. While she stared up at me, a soft smile played on her lips.

"How long was I out for?" she asked me.

"Uh…since the ride home. Can I get you anything? Water?"

"Water would be great, thanks" she replied, propping herself up with her elbows.

"Great, ill be right back"

Bella POV

Ouch. There was no doubt about it, my head was killing me. All of a sudden I regretted all the tequila and beer I'd drunk. I was a glutton for punishment. I had woken up with his breathtaking eyes staring right into mine. I was thankful that he had been there when he had been, or I would have ended up passed out in the toilets. I couldn't remember everything, but there was one detail that was pretty clear in my mind. Rosalie. She had come to tell me that Edward requested my presence at the house next Saturday. Part of me desperately wanted to agree and tell her id go, but the bigger half screamed at me that it would be a terrible idea. I couldn't risk ruining things with Paul.

There was something about the way Paul and Rosalie had looked at each other. It was like there was nothing but pure hatred running through them. I wasn't sure if they'd met before, just like I wasn't sure he had met Edward before, but something told me that they had. All I could hope for was that they hadn't been intimate with each other. That would be unbearable. Then again it wouldn't surprise me, Rosalie was stunning, sexy and had one killer attitude on her. It seemed that all men were drawn in by her.

"Here you go" he said, handing out a glass of water for me.

"Thank you" I replied, taking a sip and setting it down on the table.

I searched around in my jacket pocket for my cigarettes, taking one out of the pocket and lighting it. I leant back into the sofa, wrapping one arm around my torso. I inhaled and exhaled, instantly feeling a little better.

Paul sat down in the armchair opposite me and lit his own. We sat in silence for a little while before he finally spoke.

"So, Rosalie?" he nudged.

"What do you wanna know?" I asked, taking another drag on my cigarette.

"I'm just a little confused honey, are you sure he's not coming back?"

There was definitely something he wasn't telling me, and I wanted to know what it was. I had a feeling it wasn't good, but I felt that if it had something to do with Edward then I had a right to know.

"Paul, is there something your not telling me?" I asked him, knowing it wouldn't be easy to get an answer out of him.

He didn't say anything. Instead he just sat there staring at the floor, taking a drag on his cigarette.

"Come on. You must know I'm not stupid. I know something's going on. Tell me" I demanded, the agitation in my voice was evident.

"Bella, its complicated"

"Oh god, are you serious? You really think its fair to keep it from me. I'm handling dating a werewolf pretty well, so I think I can handle this" I laughed.

"It isn't as simple as that. Edwards…The Cullen's….Their different" he said, his voice was hesitant.

"Ookay….different how?"

Again he sat there in silence, just staring at the floor. I knew that the words were waiting to escape from his lips, but something was holding him back.

"There's so much you don't know Bella. There's a lot that you don't understand. I've got so much I need to tell you. About us. About everything" he explained.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Tell me"

…...

***hides away* Please don't kill me…**

**I had to end the chapter somewhere didn't I? ****J**

**I'll try and get the next chapter up in the next couple of days**

**I'm so thankful for the ongoing support with this story!**

**Please review and let me know what you think**

**Thanks for reading!**

**xxxxxxxx**


	12. One Life Stand

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters but if I did I wouldn't let them out of my sight lol.**

"_Come on. You must know I'm not stupid. I know something's going on. Tell me" I demanded, the agitation in my voice was evident. _

"_Bella, its complicated" _

"_Oh god, are you serious? You really think its fair to keep it from me. I'm handling dating a werewolf pretty well, so I think I can handle this" I laughed._

"_It isn't as simple as that. Edwards…The Cullen's….Their different" he said, his voice was hesitant. _

"_Ookay….different how?" _

_Again he sat there in silence, just staring at the floor. I knew that the words were waiting to escape from his lips, but something was holding him back._

"_There's so much you don't know Bella. There's a lot that you don't understand. I've got so much I need to tell you. About us. About everything" he explained._

"_Well, what are you waiting for? Tell me"_

Bella POV

"You want a drink? I think you might need it" he asked, walking into the kitchen.

"No, I don't. Will you stop stalling, tell me what's going on" I whined.

He walked back into the living area with a bottle of jack in hand and sat down in the chair. I watched as he unscrew the cap and took a huge swig.

"Look, if your not gonna tell me I'm just gonna go. Your acting ridiculous, you know that?" I raged.

"No…I'll tell you. Sorry, its just that this is gonna be so confusing for you" he told me, a look of distain covered his face.

We sat there for a moment in silence until he finally spoke.

"What do you wanna know first? Just ask me some questions and ill answer them the best I can" he offered.

"Sounds like the best idea" I sighed.

There were so many questions I wanted to ask. Admittedly most were about the Cullen's.

"So, what's up with the Cullen's? You said they were different.." I asked.

I saw him wince slightly and take another swig of whiskey.

"There's a reason we wolves don't get along with them. They're our enemies Bella" he told me carefully.

"Enemies? Why? Carlisle and Esme are so kind, how could you dislike them?" I asked.

"You are kidding me? Those filthy leeches should never have been allowed anywhere near you!" he shouted as he leapt up from his seat.

"Leeches?" I asked, clearly confused.

I watched him as he paced back and forth across the living room.

"Vampires…" I heard him mutter.

I instantly felt my heart rate pick up and I knew he could sense it. He had to be kidding? Vampires? I would have known. Stupid Bella. How could I have known? The only vampires I had ever seen were on old reruns of Buffy. He couldn't be serious. Could he?

"Wh….what?" I shuddered at the thought that he might be telling the truth.

"They're vampires Bella! Fucking filthy bloodsuckers!" he howled at me.

I felt my entire body begin to go limp, I felt sick. How could I have been in love with a vampire? How could I have given myself to him? Like_ that. _Surely he would have wanted to eat me? Oh god, he did want to eat me.

"I…I…don't….oh god" I whimpered.

At that moment I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. I could feel the bile rising in my throat. I shot up off the sofa and ran to bathroom, throwing myself at the toilet bowl. I hurled at the very thought of it. I felt a warm hand pull the hair away from my face as I brought everything up. As I finished I sat back up, leaning against the bathtub. I hadn't noticed until now, but the tears were streaming down my cheeks. I guessed it was a natural reaction from the sickness but mostly because of what had just been revealed to me. Paul crouched down in front of me and looked into my eyes.

"Are you okay?" he asked, handing me a glass of water.

I shrugged and took a small sip, trying to rid myself of the awful taste in my mouth.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have shouted at you. When I first found out about your relationship with _him_ I thought you must have known" he explained, stroking my jaw line with his fingers.

"I didn't….how could I have been so stupid" I scolded.

"Sssh honey. Its not your fault. At least you weren't hurt, at least he didn't touch you" he whispered to himself.

Oh god, he hadn't known. I _had_ let Edward touch me, after months of begging. Now it all made sense. He didn't want to touch me because of that very fact. How could I tell him knowing how he already felt about the Cullen's?

"Paul….I….he did. Edward was….my…well….my first" I confessed, screwing my eyes tight shut.

As I waited for his reply all I heard was the front door slam. I opened my eyes to find that he was no longer in front me of. He'd ran away from me. Again. Except this time he had good reason. He must've thought I was disgusting, and who wouldn't. I had put my life in the hands of a vampire without even knowing it. It all made sense. His cold skin, his eyes. They always changed colour. He never came to school when the sun was shining. Granted it was a rare occasion for that to happen in Forks. All the lies about the camping trips. I had never seen him eat, he always made the excuse that he didn't like to eat in front of people, that it made him nervous. How could I have been so oblivious? And now I had pushed the only person I desperately needed away.

I sat silently for what felt like hours sobbing to myself. All I wanted was to be scooped up in Paul's arms, but they seemed a million miles away.

Eventually, I pulled myself to my feet, freshened up and walked back downstairs. There was still no sign of him. I looked at my watch. 2.48am. Where was he?

I poured myself a drink and sat back down on the couch, desperately waiting for him to come back. I decided against the consumption of alcohol. It didn't seem like the best idea considering. So instead I did what I always did and lined up my drug on the coffee table. Taking a rolled up note in hand, I snorted it, wiped away the remainder from the table and leant back into the sofa. It didn't help, it only made everything seem even more intense. It was safe to say that I didn't enjoy taking it anymore, it made me feel dirty.

I had to take my mind off of the longing somehow, so I found my feet and started to explore the living area. I ran my nimble fingers over the impressive collection of music that was lingering on the shelves and then onto the acoustic guitar that was leaning against the wall below.

I wondered if it belonged to him. Could he get any more perfect? I stopped as my hand reached a sketch book laying above the cd's. I picked it up and carefully peeled back the cover. What I found took my breath away. Drawings. Beautiful drawings of me? Me sleeping peacefully. Me laying next to a silver wolf. I felt a lonely tear fall from my eye.

Suddenly I heard the door close behind me. I didn't move, I couldn't. I was frozen to the spot. I could hear him breathing behind me, he was so close that I could feel his hot breath on my neck.

"Bella.." he whispered.

I slowly turned on my heel to face him. He was no longer wearing his shirt which led me to believe that he had phased. His eyes were full of hurt and longing.

"I'm sorry" I whimpered, looking down at my feet.

"Oh honey, how can I be mad at you over something you didn't even know about? Did he ever hurt you?" he asked.

Come to think of it, I had been left with a few bruises after the first and only time Edward and I had been together, but I wasn't about to admit it.

"No" I replied, shaking my head.

"Good. I swear ill kill him if he ever does" I heard a growl escape his lips.

Even in this situation, the sound of him growling still did things to me that nobody else could.

"You said there were so many things that you needed to tell me about us" I questioned.

"Ah, that's probably the hardest part" he replied.

Was he breaking up with me? Had he met somebody else? So many things were racing through my mind at that moment.

"W….what's going on?" I whimpered.

He was at my side in a flash, taking my hand in his.

"Honey, please don't worry. Its not a bad thing. At least I don't think it is. Its just difficult to explain"

I placed my free hand on his knee and drew circles with my index finger, trying to wash away any worries he might have had.

"Imprinting…." I heard him whisper.

"Well that sounds ominous, what is it?" I asked.

"Its….Its where a wolf finds his mate. He looks into her eyes and boom, everything changes. Its like its not gravity holding you to the earth anymore, its her. There is no bond stronger than an imprint bond. When it is accepted you will always feel the need to be close to your imprint. If imprints are separated for long periods of time, it can cause devastation for both of them. I did imprint Bella…" he trailed off in a whisper.

"Oh"

He had found somebody else. He was leaving me. I felt a lonely tear fall from my eye but he was quick to wipe it away.

"What's wrong baby?" he asked me.

" I understand. You cant stay away from her and I don't want you to be in any pain" I muttered.

"Silly Bella. You don't understand do you?" he asked me.

I shook my head, letting more tears fall.

"Its you"

Paul POV

"Its you" I whispered into her ear.

I felt her entire body go stiff and I could hear her heartbeat quicken.

"Me?" she whispered back.

I didn't know what I would do if she rejected the imprint, I hadn't even thought that far ahead. I didn't know if I'd be able to go on living without her.

"I love you" she said, looking deep into my eyes.

"And I love you my beautiful Bella" I replied.

Before I knew it, her lips were on mine. Kissing me slowly and passionately. Our tongues danced together slowly as she ran her fingers up and down my chest. Her touch was heavenly.

"Will you make love to me? I mean _really_ make love to me?" she asked me huskily.

She really didn't need to ask. I lifted her into my arms bridal style and carried her upstairs to my room. Once there I laid her down gently on the bed. She looked up at me through those beautiful brown eyes and took her bottom lip between her teeth. She knew what that did to me.

I stalked towards her slowly, taking every inch of her in. She lifted her arms up above her head, motioning for me to take her shirt off. I peeled it slowly from her torso and let it fall to the floor.

"I cant wait. I need you to be inside me now" she whimpered.

There were no words for how aroused I was. Seeing her like this, begging for me to take her, it was enough to make my head explode. I gently pushed her down onto the bed and left a trail of light kisses on her stomach as I pulled her jeans off. The smell of her arousal hit me like a tonne of bricks as my cock grew harder in my boxers.

I removed her lacy thong and placed a chaste kiss on her sensitive nub, causing her to arch her back in pleasure.

"Please Paul…." she begged.

I brought myself up to hover above her body, my elbows either side of her head. I brought my lips down to meet hers, slowly licking her bottom lip and gently tugging on it with my teeth. I felt her push her body up to meet mine.

"Are you ready?" I asked her.

"Oh god yes" she moaned.

With that, I placed my length at her entrance and slowly pushed myself inside of her. There were no words to describe how whole I felt when we were connected.

I gently trusted myself in and out of her slowly, going deeper with every thrust. By now her hands were all over my back, lightly scraping my skin with her fingernails. It sent a chill through my bones.

"Harder….Please" she moaned between kisses.

I pulled myself out of her sweet centre and plunged back in with a little more force. She met my thrusts perfectly with her hips. I quickened my movements, sliding in and out of her with great speed.

"Oh god….Amazing. I love you" she moaned as she nipped at my neck, earning a growl from me.

I pushed myself further inside her and felt her walls tightening around me. She was close and so was I.

"I cant hold it much longer" I growled.

I slowly rolled her over onto me, my back against the headboard. She was stunning. I wrapped my arms tightly around her back as she began to slowly lift herself up and down on to me. She was so tight and warm, I wanted to stay within her for eternity.

She quickened her pace as her perfect breasts bounced with every movement. I felt her rock back and forth onto me, rolling her hips as she went.

"God…I'm gonna…Oh" she howled.

I felt her slam herself down onto me, her walls clamping down as she let her orgasm consume her. She took her hair between her fists and slowed her movements. With one more fast thrust inside of her, I spilled everything I had into her.

"Oh I love you" I whispered.

She continued to rock slowly until her climax faded, finally resting her head onto my shoulder. I could feel the beads of sweat dripping onto my warm skin and I loved the thought of her being all over me.

I gently traced circles with my finger tips up and down her spine.

No words needed to be said, we had given all we had to each other.

…

Bella POV

Life had been a complete whirlwind the last couple of weeks. I had found my soul mate in Paul and it was explained to me by Sam that an imprints purpose is to be everything her wolf needed and vice versa. I was chosen for Paul to make him a better man, a better wolf.

I knew I couldn't do this if I was still on the verge of a terrifying addiction. I had decided to drop the cocaine almost immediately after he told me about the imprint. I had explained to him how bad it had gotten, and to my surprise he just held me while I sobbed. He vowed to help me through it and in turn had also agreed to give it up.

Paul had explained to me that while he could give up the cocaine, he couldn't quit the marijuana. He told me that he had always relied on it to keep him calm, to prevent him from phasing at the wrong time. He explained everything about his temper and that he simply couldn't run the risk of hurting me. Upon hearing his explanation, I couldn't find it within myself to scold him for it.

I hadn't given a second thought to going back to Edward. I would never be able to end what Paul and I had. It was special, more than special. There were no words for what we shared. He was my rock and I was his. It was that simple. I swore to him that night that I would rather die than let anything tear us apart.

I had been searching my whole life for someone like him. Granted, he wasn't perfect in the grand scheme of things, but he was perfect for me. We spent every moment we could together, and between me working and him patrolling there wasn't a moment that we would steal for ourselves.

I discovered that Jared had imprinted on Jess, and suffice to say she was thrilled about it. Admittedly when she had found out about the tribe secrets she was a little shocked. Well I say shocked, what actually happened was far more humorous. For some reason she believed that her drink had been spiked and that it was all a crazy hallucination. It took her a couple of days to process, but now she just takes it in her stride.

Its so refreshing to have somebody else to share all of my thoughts and worries with. Kim was always perfectly friendly, but nothing beats having your best friend by your side.

We had instantly been welcomed into the pack and I couldn't see my future any other way. It turned out that Leah had known about Paul because of her brother Seth. He was fifteen and the youngest of the pack.

She had apologized profusely for not telling me about it, explaining that it would have meant a pretty harsh punishment from her father. Harry Clearwater was on the tribe council along with Billy Black, Jakes father.

I had often been reminded by my father that Jake and I used to play together when we were kids. I had no idea about this until one day when he broke out the pictures of us bathing together. Paul had found it hilarious, and I'm pretty sure it gave him something to rag on Jake over.

Jake and I had become pretty close in the last couple of weeks, rekindling our friendship as it were. He was easy to talk to, although it would do no good to talk about any secretive subject, considering the pack would hear it all when they were phased anyway.

"Hey Bells" I heard him call.

"Oh hey Jake!" I shouted down the hall.

"Where are you?"

"In the kitchen! Want breakfast?" I asked him, already knowing the answer.

He lifted an eyebrow and smirked.

"Bells, when do I _not_ want to eat?" he asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Alright, scrambled eggs and bacon coming up" I smiled.

This had become a little tradition of ours. He would come by most mornings after patrol and we would have breakfast together before I left for work. We talked about most things. The imprint, patrolling and of course _girls._

"I don't want to imprint Bells, I don't like having my choices taken from me. I'm pissed enough as it is about turning into a giant wolf every time I get angry, I don't need another curse in my life" he said.

"Its not a curse Jake, I mean sure the choice isn't yours to make, but once you meet her you'll never want to be away from her" I told him, thinking of Paul.

"Yeah well, I'd rather do it my way. Meet a girl, get married and have puppies. The normal way, not through some voodoo shit" he grunted.

Maybe he was right, maybe it was a curse for the ones who didn't want it. I certainly didn't feel that way and I couldn't imagine where I would be if I hadn't met Paul. Sometimes I wondered if he'd still be with me without the bond, but then again there was no need to ask that question. I knew he loved me and that was enough. I didn't need to make things more complicated that they already were.

Maybe we were all destined to be with somebody. Maybe that choice was already made for us. All we could do is wait for that person and pray that when you finally find them, they are all you ever wished for.

**This chapter was a little shorter than the usual. Sorry about that, but I felt that this was the best way to end the chapter.**

**The way things are going this story will be soooo looong, promise you stay on for the ride? **

**Anyway, let me know what you thought. If any of you have got any suggestions about where this story should go then let me know. **

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	13. The Line Begins To Blur

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight…**

_Maybe he was right, maybe it was a curse for the ones who didn't want it. I certainly didn't feel that way and I couldn't imagine where I would be if I hadn't met Paul. Sometimes I wondered if he'd still be with me without the bond, but then again there was no need to ask that question. I knew he loved me and that was enough. I didn't need to make things more complicated that they already were._

_Maybe we were all destined to be with somebody. Maybe that choice was already made for us. All we could do is wait for that person and pray that when you finally find them, they are all you ever wished for._

Paul POV

"Shit. Fuck. What are we going to do Sam? I know they're not killing on our land but Jesus, we have to do something right?" I heard Jake howl.

"I don't know Jake. What can we do? Thirteen people have gone missing in just under two weeks. I've had Embry and Jared out there almost every night but we still haven't caught a scent. We cant just run out there with no clue of what's going on!" Sam replied, the anxiety present in his voice.

I should have known that everything going well was too good to be true. Bella and I had began to sink into a normal relationship. We went out for dinner, stayed in and watched movies, everything a normal couple would do.

The last couple of weeks however had been a strain. Not on our relationship but on the pack. There had been several disappearances in Seattle.

We had been following what we thought was a trail one day when we came across a body. The naked, mangled body of a teenage girl. When the police found her they were barely able to identify the body.

Since that day, we've been searching. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out that this was the working of a leech.

"We do nothing right now, its too dangerous. What we do need to do however, is make sure everyone on the reservation is safe. We need to be patrolling day and night, two at a time. Paul, you and me will pair up. Jake and Embry. Jared and Quil. Seth will stay on the reservation at all times. He's the youngest and most inexperienced of us so I don't want to risk endangering him. Okay, everyone got that?" he asked.

We all nodded. It was clear that even if we didn't agree, we would have to follow out his orders. He was alpha after all. Rightfully, Jake was meant to be alpha. It was in his bloodline, and one day when the tribe think he's ready he'll take over. He's pretty adament at the moment that he'll never want it, but Sam has often told me that soon the alpha inside him will eventually burst out.

"Right Paul, you and I will start now. I don't want either of them on their own at any point" Sam ordered.

"Hey Jake, could you go keep Bella company this afternoon? I don't want her to be on her own" I asked.

He simply nodded and took off in the opposite direction. Out of everybody, Jake was the one I trusted the most with Bella. Admittedly I didn't always like the thoughts that ran through his mind about her, but he was only a man. She was definitely the hot favourite to fantasize over in the pack.

My only worry was that we would soon be joined by some more unwelcome bloodsuckers.

Jake POV

Bella. Sweet innocent Bella. She truly had no idea. How could she? I wasn't about to tell her.

Yeah, the pack often fantasized about her but it was different in my head. I can honestly say that I knew I'd fallen in love with Bella Swan when we were 8 years old.

I remember the day like it was yesterday. We were playing in the mud in her back yard, our fathers watching us from the porch, drinking a beer. I remember seeing her covered in mud. Her pretty dress was soiled completely and she had sludge smeared all over her face. She was perfect. My best friend. That was until she left for Florida to live with her Mom.

She came back when she was fifteen and she'd walk straight past me in the street. I couldn't bring myself to be angry at her though, I had changed a lot in seven years.

It wasn't until that night at the bonfire that I got to see her up close again. The night Paul imprinted. I don't know what came over me but at that moment, I was desperately wishing that it was me.

Sure, I was a ladies man, but they were _nothing _compared to Bella. Her beautiful, long hair flowed down her back so perfectly. Those breathtaking chocolate pools that always made my heart skip a beat.

To her, we were best friends. Brother and sister almost. It killed me to know that she'd never be mine. Even if she wanted to, she'd never be able to be. I was pretty sure that physically, she could do whatever she liked, but the imprint almost forbid it.

As unlikely as it was, I knew that if anything happened between Bella and I, my life in the pack would be over. Mating with another's imprint was out of the question, it was an unwritten rule.

I always dimmed down my thoughts of Bella when I was phased with Paul. The last thing I needed was him on my ass. He'd never know, because I'd never tell him. And I'd certainly never tell Bella.

She was happy, and to me that's all that mattered.

Bella POV

Something strange was going on. Paul hadn't said anything but I'm not stupid. Sam's got the pack patrolling night and day and when Paul's not here with me, Jake is. Even when I'm working there's always somebody hanging around the shop. It was like they were trying to protect me, but I didn't know what from.

It was typical. Things were going perfectly between Paul and I, then all of a sudden everything became tense. Not between us, we were finally settling into a decent relationship. I had practically moved in with Paul, I spent every night there even if he wasn't with me. Like I said, if Paul wasn't by my side, Jake was.

Jared was exactly the same with Jess. There was always somebody there to look after her.

I had been frantically cleaning for around an hour now, worrying myself sick about what was being hidden from me.

"Bells, you in here?" I heard Jake call.

"Yeah, just upstairs in Paul's room" I yelled back at him.

I heard loud thumps on the stairs and in a flash Jake was standing in the doorway.

"Hey Jake" I muttered, still picking up clothes from the floor and shoving them into the laundry basket.

"Hey Bells. You okay? You seem kinda tense" he asked.

"No I'm not okay. I know there's something going on you cant lie to me Jacob Black" I replied, the anger evident in my tone.

He hung his head down in defeat. The look in his eyes told me that he was conflicted. I knew that he wouldn't be able to tell me anything even if he wanted to.

"You know I cant Bella, its not my place" he replied.

"That's what I thought. So, Paul have you come over here to keep an eye on me did he?"

"Bells, don't be like that. Don't you like spending time with me?" he asked, a sly grin across his lips.

"And tell me Jake, what would Paul think of you flirting with me?" I chuckled.

"Don't be silly. I don't flirt. I'm a little more obvious than that" he laughed back.

"Whatever, can you carry this down to kitchen for me?" I asked.

Without an answer he jogged downstairs with me hot on his tail.

"Oh, I forgot to say, Sam wants you to keep an eye on Jess. Jared's got patrol most of the day" he told me.

"Why? See, this is exactly what I mean. I cant remember the last time I was alone for more than an hour. Something's going on and if it affects me and Jess then surely we have a right to know" I grumbled.

"Ill talk to Sam. Honestly, its nothing to worry about. You've got a pack of wolves that would lay down their lives for you. You, Jess, Emily, Kim and Leah. We'd all jump in front of a bullet for any of you" he smiled.

"Well, whatever's going on I don't want anybody to get hurt. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to Paul. Or you. I only just got my Jacob back, I'm not ready to lose you yet" I told him, ruffling his hair.

"Come on Bells, enough with the pity party. I've got some plans for us today. You got a swimsuit here?" he asked me with a mischievous grin.

He was up to something.

Jake POV

I knew just the thing to take Bella's mind off of all her worries. There was no doubt that she'd probably freak out and need a little push, but I knew her and I knew she'd love it.

As we made our way up the trail I had to hold on to her more than a few times to ensure she didn't fall and break something. Paul would rip me a new asshole if anything happened to her.

"You cannot be serious?" she asked me, shocked.

"Oh yes, I'm serious. Come on, strip off and come join me up here!" I yelled back at her.

"Tell me what the hells going on now Jake!" I heard her shout.

"Oh come on, just do it!" I laughed.

I waited a moment for her to come out from behind the trees and when she did she didn't disappoint. There she stood in her black halter bikini. It showed her curves in all the right place and boy did she look hot. I'd have my hands over my lap all afternoon at this rate.

"Come on Bells" I said, waving her towards the edge.

"Cliff diving?" she asked, a spark of excitement in her voice.

"Yeah. Come on"

She walked slowly over to the edge and stood next to me. She cautiously bent over to take a look over the edge. I couldn't help but stare at her perfect ass while she wasn't looking.

"Your gonna jump with me right?" she asked me.

"Of course. Do you know what Paul would do to me if I let you jump on your own and something happened to you?" I asked her.

"Sure sure. Okay, lets do this" she replied, rubbing her hands together excitedly.

"Okay. You wanna go on my back?"

"Um no, I'd feel better if I was here" she replied, pointing at my chest.

"Okay. No problem. Hop up" I told her.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and jumped up wrapping her legs around my waist. I could feel my cock hardening beneath her so I adjusted her so she wouldn't feel it.

"Okay, ready?" I asked her. She nodded.

"After three" she mumbled into my ear.

"One…." I said as I stepped closer to the ledge.

"Two…."

"Three!" I yelled as I leaped from the edge.

I heard her yelp for a moment before she moved her body away from mine, stretching her arms high above her head. Her legs tightened around my waist as she threw her head back.

The icy water hit us and we went under. She didn't release the hold she had on my legs until we came back up.

"Wow…that…was….incredible" she squealed as she gasped for breath.

Her was slicked back over her shoulders and all the blood in her face had rushed to her cheeks. She looked beautiful.

"Jake, what are you staring at?" she whispered, almost embarrassed by my attention.

"Nothing Bells, come on" I replied as I swam towards the beach.

I knew what I was getting myself into, and god was I going to pay for it.

Bella POV

After an eventful afternoon at the beach with Jake I had come back to Paul's place to freshen up and wait for him to finish patrol. We jumped three more times that afternoon and each time was better than the last. It was a real rush. Paul had really calmed down the past few weeks and as much as I appreciated it, he had also become a little less, well, fun.

I loved Paul with everything I had, but it was nice to have a best friend that I could share all of my interests with. Next on the agenda for Jake and I, motorbikes. He told me that he had two dirt bikes in his garage that needed a little buffer but then they'd be ready to go. We were going to work on them tomorrow afternoon after my shift at work.

I'd been sat on the sofa for a while reading when I heard the door shut behind me.

"Hey baby" I heard Paul call.

I put my book down on the table and rested my head on the back of the sofa, taking every inch of his perfect chest in. Every time I looked at it I just wanted to lick it. Its amazing what being with a dog can do to your instincts.

"Hey, how was patrol?" I asked, hoping to squeeze some answers out of him.

He threw himself down onto the sofa and laid his head on my lap.

"Honey, you know I cant tell you" he mumbled back.

"Right of course you cant. You hungry? I made lasagne" I said, smiling down at him.

With the mention of food he leaped off of my lap and raced to the kitchen.

"You sit. Ill do it" I told him, pushing him gently onto the chair.

He did as I told him to and I popped a large portion of lasagne into the microwave. I leaned against the counter and looked down at him. He looked exhausted.

"Baby, I know its not my business but you look so tired. Sam's got you out there every day. I just want to know if anybody's in danger" I whispered as I stroked the back of his neck.

For a moment he said nothing and then he lifted his head up slowly and sighed.

"Babe, all I can say is that we have to be out there all the time"

"Its vampires isn't it?" I asked, staring at the floor below.

No answer. That told me all I needed to know.

I said nothing more about it that night and we went to bed without any I love your's or kisses. Something was wrong, I knew it and he knew it. I only wish that he'd trust me enough to tell me. I was happy in our relationship, but I didn't want to spend my life with somebody knowing that they don't trust me. It was quite simply out of the question.

Paul POV

We had found another two bodies this afternoon. This time they were hanging from a tree just on the boarder. It was as if these sick freaks were trying to leave us a message. Sam had still ordered us not to say anything but it was common knowledge that you physically couldn't lie to your imprint.

I couldn't bear the endless questions from Bella about the amount of patrolling I had thrown myself into lately. She knew I couldn't tell her but she also knew that I wasn't cruel enough to sit back and say nothing. I'm pretty sure she thought that if she went on about it enough then I'd spill it.

I only hoped that Sam would take his head out of his ass soon and fill everybody in.

…...

Bella POV

Two weeks had passed and things between Paul and I had gotten noticeably worse. It wasn't just us either. Emily and Sam were on edge every time we saw them. Emily told me that she had just about as much idea about what was going on as I did.

We had even tried to listen in to one of the pack meetings but obviously they'd known we were there before we'd even got there. Stupid sense of smell.

So here I was, at Emily's making dinner for everybody.

"Hey, could you pass me the potatoes?" Emily asked.

I nodded and handed them over to her.

"Bella, I know your frustrated right now. I am too, but they aren't going to tell us anything. I'm sure that if they thought we needed to know, they'd tell us right away" she told me, pulling me into a hug.

"I just don't know what's going on with him. He barely speaks to me at the moment and I'm lucky if we get to make love once a week. You must know how unbearable that is, especially with the pull" I sobbed into her shoulder.

"Sweetie, I know. Sam's been off with me for a few days now too, but I know that I just have to keep going for him and for the pack. Its our job to look after them and if we don't do it, then who will?" she laughed.

"Yeah, that's true. There's still a huge burn on Paul's kitchen counter from when he tried to make grilled cheese. Cheese Emily!" I chuckled.

She gave me a squeeze and carried on with what she was doing.

"Shit, I've forgotten the steaks. How could I forget that? Would you mind driving to the store for me?" She asked me.

"Of course Em, no problem. How much am I getting? Or should I just clear the shelf?"

"Get however much you can carry" she told me, laughing loudly.

"Okie dokie. I'll be back soon" I called to her as I grabbed my keys and jacket.

….

I got to the store around twenty minutes later and grabbed a shopping cart. Lets face it, if I was to take all that I could carry, it wasn't going to be enough.

I walked around the store and literally cleared the shelf of most of the meat on offer. Steaks, ribs, chops. You name it, I got it. I picked up a few other bits and pieces for myself such as body sprays and gum before making my way to the checkout.

"Whoa….Are you feeding the whole United States Military?" the checkout lady asked, smiling.

"I have a very hungry family at home. You have no idea!" I laughed back.

I packed all the meat into bags as she passed them through the checkout.

Eight grocery bags later and sixty five dollars later I was on my way out of the store. It had gotten pretty dark since I'd been inside. I could see nobody around in the parking lot, just a few stray vehicles scattered around.

I rushed to my truck and packed all the bags in the back. I really didn't want to be around here on my own any longer than I had to. There was an eerie calm in the air and it had all the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end.

As I reached the driver side door I heard a gut wrenching scream coming from the woods. Sensible Bella would have just gotten back into her truck and driven away, but I didn't have my sensible head on right now. So I proceeded to grab the butterfly knife out of my truck and slowly made my way over to the tree line.

As I reached the edge, I heard nothing. Complete silence. It was too quiet. I took out my keychain and switched on the mini torch that I had clipped onto it. I pointed the light down at my feet so that I could see where I was going. The last thing I needed was to trip, fall and break something.

I made my way forward slowly, constantly looking around me. I flicked out my knife just in case and quickened my pace a little more. Its fair to say that this little flashlight really wasn't doing any good. I couldn't see anything at all. All I could hear was the rustling of the leaves and twigs breaking underneath my feet.

It was no use, I was no use. So I pulled out my cell phone and scrolled down to Paul's number. As I continued forward I felt my legs crumbled beneath me as I tumbled over. Typical Bella to trip over a rock in the middle of the woods. Thankfully it didn't hurt and I placed my hands in front of me to pull myself up. Except what I thought was the ground, definitely wasn't. What I could feel underneath me was soft and damp. I drew circles with my hands, trying to identify the object when I felt something that made my blood curdle.

I cautiously took out my flashlight and shone it right in front of me. I swear I nearly hurled at the sight. There before me was a woman, she must've been in her teens still. From what I could see, she didn't have any clothes on. I moved the light slowly up to her face to see if she was breathing.

It looked like she had been beaten horrifically. Her eyes were barely visible through the swelling and there was blood dripping from her mouth, nose and ear. My heart broke for her in an instant. I kneeled down beside her and readied my fingers to check for a pulse. Nothing. She was dead. This poor woman had been beaten to within an inch of her life and left to die. Why hadn't nobody heard her? Surely she would have been screaming for help long before I heard her. I wiped her hair from her neck to see two punctures just below her ear.

Vampire.

I looked down at my cell again and pressed the call button. I waited a moment but there was no answer.

"Damn it Paul" I cursed, scrolling to the next best person.

I pressed the call button again and prayed that he would answer. He had to. It rang a few times before he answered. I heard laughter in the background.

"Hey! Paws off Paul! Bella will be back soon with the meat!" I heard Emily scold.

"Hey Bells, what's up?" he asked me through giggles.

"Jake" I sobbed.

Then there was silence. Nothing.

"Bella, what's going on?" he asked again, much more serious this time.

"I found…" I had to catch my breath through the sobbing.

"You found what Bells?" He asked, a sense of urgency in his voice.

"Body" I whispered.

"Oh Jesus. Where are you?"

"About a quarter of a kilometre in into the woods, next to the store" I muttered.

"We'll be right there. Go back to your truck and wait" he ordered.

"No! I'm not leaving this poor girl here on her own. She might not have had anybody to comfort her when she was going through this horrendous torture, but the least I can do is stay with her" I half shouted.

Then the line went dead. I knew that if they phased they'd be here in around ten minutes. All I had to do was get through this. I stood up and slid my jacket off my shoulders and went to cover up her torso. That's when I saw it.

I felt all of my blood fall to my feet. Right there beneath her breasts, across her ribcage was a message.

This poor girl had been brutally beaten, drained of all her blood and had two words carved into her swollen flesh.

'Your Next'

…...

**Gross huh? **

**Please review and let me know what you think.**

**Things are only going to get worse from here on out.**

**I find it easier to write about sadness and pain than fluffy stuff.**

**Don't hate me. Lol.**

**Thank you so much for reading and allowing me to continue writing.**

**I do it for all of you faithful readers! **

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	14. When We Collide

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

**MAJOR Lemon coming up. I suggest you cover your eyes if you don't want to see Paul's feral side….**

**I dedicate this chapter to X Factor winner Matt Cardle. I'm aware that some of you wont know who on earth he is, but trust me he is amazing. **

"_We'll be right there. Go back to your truck and wait" he ordered._

"_No! I'm not leaving this poor girl here on her own. She might not have had anybody to comfort her when she was going through this horrendous torture, but the least I can do is stay with her" I half shouted._

_Then the line went dead. I knew that if they phased they'd be here in around ten minutes. All I had to do was get through this. I stood up and slid my jacket off my shoulders and went to cover up her torso. That's when I saw it. _

_I felt all of my blood fall to my feet. Right there beneath her breasts, across her ribcage was a message. _

_This poor girl had been brutally beaten, drained of all her blood and had two words carved into her swollen flesh._

'_Your Next'_

Paul POV

I had never ran so fast. I was angry at myself, with the rest of the pack. How could we not have sensed leeches in the area? The last thing I ever wanted was for Bella to be subjected to this.

"_I can smell her, we're close" _I thought.

All I could hear was the faint sound of sobbing amongst the pounding of my paws on the ground. I slowed myself as we came into the clearing. I saw Bella hunched over with her head in her hands. Her skin was a whiter shade of pale, she was freezing. She whipped her head up and threw herself at me. I was still in wolf form but I knew that it would comfort her none the less.

"Oh god" She sobbed.

I phased in an instant and wrapped my arms around her, not caring that I was naked. I felt Sam phase beside me, quickly pulling on a pair of shorts before inspecting the body before us.

"She hasn't been dead long. I can still smell the warmth on her" he mumbled so only us wolves could here.

"Paul, why don't you take Bella back home? We'll deal with this and we'll meet up later" Sam suggested.

"Thanks man" I nodded.

I pulled on a pair of sweats and whisked Bella up into my arms. She wrapped her legs around my waist and clung on tightly to my neck, resting her head on my shoulder.

I ran as fast as I could back to my place. We reached my porch and I kicked the door open gently with my heel, kicking it shut as we entered.

"Baby, you want something to eat or drink?" I asked as I buried my face in her hair.

"N…no…. What's going on Paul?" she asked me through the sobs.

"I'll get Sam to explain everything later. Its time that everybody knew what's been going on" I replied, kissing her on the forehead.

I felt her legs tighten around my waist and I couldn't help the arousal running through me. She felt it.

"I want….I need…." she mumbled, it was difficult to tell what she was trying to say.

"What do you need honey?" I asked, wanting to do everything I could to calm her.

She said nothing as she took my face in her hands and began to kiss me. Her tongue traced the line of my jaw and I felt myself stiffen. I felt her tiny hands gripping my hair and tugging at it lightly. I let a slow growl escape my lips as she nipped and sucked on my bottom lip.

"Baby, maybe we shouldn't. You've had a huge shock" I whispered into her ear.

Her head snapped up and I could see the unbearable lust in her eyes.

"No….I need this. I want you to fuck me. I need to feel release" she begged.

"I'll go slow" I whispered back.

"I don't want it slow! I want it hard, fast and feral. I need you to make me feel alive" she howled.

She didn't need to say anything else. Our lips mashed together ferociously and our tongues danced roughly against each other. I felt her running her nimble fingers up my stomach as she writhed against me.

I could hear the rain pounding down on the roof and something inside of me snapped. My wolf wanted her. He wanted her outside, naked and free.

I carried her to the back entrance of the house and pushed up against the door to open it. As I rushed her out, the rain pelted against our bodies, soaking us through within seconds. I watched as she took her bottom lip between her teeth as she slowly peeled her shirt off, revealing her lacy black bra. I watched the raindrops dancing on her chest, her breathing was heavy but slow.

I pushed her up against the side of the house and ripped her bra away from her body. I heard it snap against her skin as I cupped my hand around her right breast, bringing it to my mouth. As I sucked I could feel her arching back against the house. Her arms were high above her head as she fell into my touch. I nibbled at her peaks as I let my hand wander slowly down to her stomach.

I felt goosebumps on her skin as I lightly brushed it with my finger tips. I set Bella down on her feet as I kneeled down in front of her. She looked down at me through her thick eyelashes. I had never seen anything so perfect.

I slowly unzipped her jeans and pulled them down gently to reveal her tiny panties. Her arousal hit me immediately as I brought my lips closer to her core.

"Please…" she begged.

I chuckled lightly as I placed her left leg over my shoulder, spreading her legs wide. I lightly traced my fingers up and down her slit through her panties.

"Oh….take them off" she growled.

Who was I to deny her? I ripped the tiny piece of material from her body took the view of her in. I would never want to forget her, none of her.

I placed light kisses on her inner thighs and gently brushed my knuckles against her sensitive nub, causing her to moan in pleasure. She was soaking wet, and it wasn't from the rain.

I slowly ran my tongue along her slit causing her to gasp. I felt her legs wobble around me as she clung on to the house. I took two fingers and slowly inserted them into her dripping core. I flicked my tongue around her clit as I pumped in and out of her.

"More!" She howled.

I pushed another finger inside of her and continued to suck and nibble her perfect clit.

"Coming.." she panted.

Within seconds I felt her muscles clamping down around my finger. She panted softly as she threw herself over the edge. I looked up at her to find that her gripping her hair through her fists, eyes closed and nibbling on her bottom lip.

"I'm nowhere near finished" I growled as I jumped up to my feet, pulling her into me.

"I want to take you over there" I said, pointing to the small clearing at the end of the path.

"God, please" she begged.

Before I knew it we were on the grass as she rolled herself on top of me, running her hands all over my naked flesh.

"You are wearing far too many clothes" she giggled.

With that she slowly began to pull my sweats down over my knees, causing my erection to spring out from beneath the material. She glared at it with pure want.

Bella placed herself between my legs as she started to slowly pump my length with her tiny hands.

"Oh….Bella…" I groaned.

Upon hearing me moaning her name, she lightly flicked her tongue across the head of my penis. I instinctively arched my hips up to meet her mouth. I heard her chuckle as she brought her mouth down around my cock, sucking gently on the head.

"Fuck!"

Her movements got faster and faster as she began to pump and suck at the same time. I felt her free hand cup my balls, massaging them gently. No one could ever make me feel the way she did. My eyes rolled back into my head as I felt her take my entire length into her mouth.

"Oh shit….I'm gonna come"

Still she sucked harder and faster. As she ran her tongue from the base to tip, immediately taking my head back into her mouth I felt myself explode.

"Fuuuuck!" I growled.

She swallowed up every last drop, licking her lips sensually making sure she hadn't missed any.

"You are amazing" I whispered as I flipped her over, placing her on her hands and knees.

I was about to let my wolf take over.

Bella POV

I was still tingling from the first orgasm so I was almost giddy wondering how good the next would feel. I gripped the ground tightly beneath me as I felt Paul lightly stroking my back. He kissed all the way up my spine and then back down again, causing even more wetness to seep from between my legs.

The rain was heavy, cold to the touch but I had never felt warmer. I felt Paul reach around and cup my breasts with his hands.

"Are you ready?" he whispered into my ear.

"Always. Fuck me" I replied huskily.

With those words I felt Paul pull me towards him as he rubbed his cock slowly between my folds. I moaned softly as he pushed inside of me.

"Fuck…Still so tight"

He started to pump in and out of me slowly, but I needed more.

"Faster damn it" I yelled.

I heard him chuckle as he began to pound into my hard and fast. The sound of flesh slapping together filled my ears as he filled me all the way. He reached around my leg and began to trace circles with his fingers around my clit.

"Oh shit" I muttered.

I felt myself getting closer and closer as he pulled me towards him with every thrust, his hands gripped to my hips. He was hitting my sweet spot over and over, causing my knees to buckle beneath me as I fell to the floor. I felt him pull me back up, his arm wrapped around my stomach to steady me, still ramming into me.

It was coming, I could feel it. With a few more hard thrusts I felt the slow burn rise inside of me. Paul pulled my body up so my back was resting against his chest. He pulled my hair over my right shoulder as he kissed me lightly, all the while still thrusting inside of me.

"Mine" he growled as he sank his teeth into my flesh.

For a moment a felt intense pain, but then came the pleasure. The most intense pleasure I had ever experienced. At that moment in time, I felt like we were one. Not just connected, but the same person.

With one more hard, brutal thrust he released all he had inside of me. I whined softly as he withdrew his teeth from my skin. I tipped my head back on to his shoulder as he gently licked my wound.

"I love you" I whispered.

Paul POV

I couldn't hold back from it any longer. She was ours, she belonged to us. I needed to let everybody know who she belonged to. I wanted my scent to override her.

The moment I sank my teeth into her, everything changed. At that moment I knew, when she whimpered at my touch, that she'd be mine for eternity. The taste of her blood, mixed with the hint of sweat and rain was mouth watering.

She had collapsed against my chest, panting for breath. This was by far the best sex we'd had yet and I was confident that it would only ever get better.

"I love you" she whispered as I licked her wound clean.

"I love you too" I whispered back, running my fingers softly down her ribcage.

"We should get you inside, I don't want you to get sick" I told her, lifting her into my arms.

As we made our way to the house, I had almost forgotten about the sickening event that had taken place today. I realised that she would have to face what happened today at the pack meeting later. Surely Sam would admit that people deserved to know what was happening.

I couldn't get the vision of the body out of my mind.

"Your next"

Those words echoed through me over and over. Surely the message wasn't meant for Bella, and if it was they'd have me to answer to. I wouldn't let anything hurt her. I would die before that happened.

As I placed her down on the end of the bathtub, she looked like she was deep in thought. Her cheeks were bright red and the same pattern followed down the her chest.

"Are you okay? I didn't hurt you did I?" I asked her.

Her head snapped up and our eyes connected.

"No…Not at all. It was phenomenal. I feel different somehow" she whispered, still looking into my eyes.

"Your mine now. All of you" I whispered back as I brushed my knuckles against her cheek.

"I always was" she replied, arching her head up to kiss me.

The feel of her lips on mine would never get old.

"We have to attend to pack meeting at Sam's tonight honey, you okay with that?" I asked her.

"Yeah, I want to know what's been going on around here. I want to know what's had you so stressed. Until today you'd barely touch me. I thought you didn't want me" She confessed.

I took her chin between my thumb and index finger softly, forcing her to look up at me.

"Don't you ever think I don't want you. Your all I ever want. I crave you every minute of the day and night. There will never be another Bella, never" I told her as brought my lips to hers.

We made love a further three times that evening. Twice in the shower and once on the bathroom floor.

I was ripped out of my peaceful haze by the sound of my phone ringing.

"Shit" I muttered as I stood up, looking down at Bella. She was fast asleep beneath a fluffy white towel on the floor.

I walked over to my dresser and snapped the phone open.

"Hello" I answered.

"Paul, we're starting in an hour. You gonna be able to get here on time?" Sam asked.

"Yeah no problem" I replied.

"Alright, see you soon" he said as he hung up on the other end.

I pulled a pair of stonewash jeans and a tight, black v-neck t-shirt. I ruffled my hair with my finger tips and made my way back to the bathroom to wake Bella.

As I stood in the doorway a small smile crept up to my lips. My angel was perfect. Her hair was sprayed out around her and the fleshy wound just below her ear had almost healed. Mine.

"Honey, you have to wake up. We have to be at Sam's in an hour" I whispered as I pulled her up into my arms.

"Hmmmm" she moaned.

"Come on baby, wake up for me" I said as I sat her on the edge of the bed.

Her eyes flickered open slowly as she adjusted to the light in the room.

"What time is it?" she asked sleepily.

"Its late baby I know, but its important that we go over to Sam's" I replied.

"Okay" she yawned, nodding her head.

I could only hope that Bella would be able to handle pack business. I didn't want to push her away.

Bella POV

If I'm totally honest with myself, I'm nervous as hell about this meeting. What exactly was I going to here? And would it help if I knew? If I knew that any lives were at risk, surely that would make it worse. Wouldn't it just be better off if I didn't have a clue? Ironic I know. I'd been trying to get information out of Paul and Jake for weeks and now that I was getting it, I didn't want it.

It's a funny world. When we want something so desperately we don't get it but when we don't want it, it washes over you in waves.

I pulled my hair up into a messy bun and pulled out some clothes. I picked out a pair of Abercrombie sweat pants and a peach coloured tank top. I yanked on my black zip up hoodie and made my way downstairs.

"You ready?" he asked me.

I nodded and followed him out to the car.

On the way to Sam's I couldn't bring myself to strike up a conversation. It was just silence, but a comfortable one at least.

At least Emily was in the same position as me. She knew nothing, which was rare because Sam always told her everything. So for him to keep this from her was serious.

As we pulled up to Sam and Emily's house I'd never noticed how quaint it was before. I didn't think I'd ever seen it in the moonlight. It was beautiful. The sort of house I hoped to own one day with Paul. I could imagine our children running around on the lawn being chased around my their uncles and their wonderful father. I only hoped that I was blessed enough to have it.

"Hey Bells" Jake said, pulling me into a hug.

"Hi" I smiled back at him.

"Jeez, you smell like Paul" he huffed.

"Ah, well we'll get to that later" Paul answered him for me.

"Come on, Sam's eager to start" Jake called as he jogged back up to the house.

Here goes nothing

…...

**I swear I lost myself in that lemon! Haha! **

**I'm pretty proud of it if I do say so myself. **

**Please review and let me know what you think. **

**It was suggested that I add more POV changes. This story will run between Paul and Bella's POV's mostly. There'll be a couple more of Jakes POV, but other than that that's all there'll be. After all this is a Paul and Bella fic so its important to concentrate on them.**

**Thank you so much for reading, I should have the next chapter posted tomorrow.**

**Love you all**

**xxxxxxxxx**


	15. Smile Like You Mean It

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

_As we pulled up to Sam and Emily's house I'd never noticed how quaint it was before. I didn't think I'd ever seen it in the moonlight. It was beautiful. The sort of house I hoped to own one day with Paul. I could imagine our children running around on the lawn being chased around my their uncles and their wonderful father. I only hoped that I was blessed enough to have it. _

"_Hey Bells" Jake said, pulling me into a hug. _

"_Hi" I smiled back at him._

"_Jeez, you smell like Paul" he huffed._

"_Ah, well we'll get to that later" Paul answered him for me. _

"_Come on, Sam's eager to start" Jake called as he jogged back up to the house. _

_Here goes nothing_

Bella POV

As we sat around the living room, all eyes were on Sam. We had been waiting for him to start speaking for a few minutes now. Silence filled the room and the tension was high.

"So….." Jake whispered, clapping his hands together lightly.

Sam whipped his head up and let out a heavy sigh.

"I'm just trying to gather my thoughts. Please be patient with me" Sam asked kindly.

"Its okay sweetheart" Emily cooed, lightly massaging his shoulders.

Sam took a couple more minutes to compose himself before he sat up straight and began to explain.

"Okay, I know that most of us already know what's been going on but considering the recent occurrence it seems we should fill the rest of you in. For the last few weeks there have been a considerable number of people going missing around Seattle. Now its not our territory to patrol there but whoever's been doing this has been taunting us with the bodies of their victims" Sam explained.

I felt Paul pull me closer to him as he kissed the top of my head. I snuggled into his side as Sam continued his explanation.

"Today Bella found a corpse in the woods and this is beginning to get a little more serious. For a leech to get this close to our territory and for us not to be alert is dangerous. There was a message carved into the body and to be honest it has me on edge a little"

"Wh….what did it say?" Jess asked from across the room. She was perched upon Jared's lap and his arms were wrapped around her protectively.

"Your next" Sam replied.

There were gasps coming from Emily and Jess. Kim looked shell shocked and I was just reliving the whole thing again in my head.

"You think the message was for Bella?" Kim asked, sending me an empathetic glance.

I heard Paul growl lightly beside me and I squeezed his hand to reassure him that everything was okay.

"I'm not sure, but it would certainly seem that way" Sam said, a look of sadness in his eyes as he looked over at me.

"Nothing will harm Bella" Paul snarled.

"Yeah I second that" Jake howled.

"I don't want any of you getting hurt because of me" I told them.

"Bella, you are part of this pack and we will lay our lives down for you if needed. I'm sure it wont come to that" Sam replied, looking solemn.

"NO! I wont let any of you put your lives on the line for me!" I shouted, leaping up from my seat.

I felt Paul's warm hand on my arm as he stood beside me.

"Honey, you have no choice in the matter. We are here to protect you. We'd do the same for Jess, Kim and Emily. Nothing will hurt you" he whispered into my ear as he pulled me back into his lap.

"What are we gonna do about the filthy bloodsuckers?" I heard Embry ask.

"Well here's the thing, they didn't kill on our land until today. So now we really have to step up the patrols. If any of you even catch the smallest whiff of leech go after it. Cross the treaty line if you have to" Sam instructed.

"The treaty line?" I whimpered.

"The treaty out elders made with the Cullen's many years ago" Sam answered.

"How….How old are they?" I asked, still shocked to the fact that my first love was a vampire.

"It varies. The doctor is the oldest, he must be around three hundred years old. Edward is the second oldest, he's been alive for just over a century. I would say all of them are around one hundred years old Bella" He told me.

"Jeez…" I muttered.

"You know that if they keep killing in Seattle we'll have to send a couple of us over there to finish them" Jake piped up.

"Yes Jake, I know. If it does come to that we'll need the strongest and largest wolves. I'm the biggest as alpha but second to that is Paul. He is a tad stronger than I" Sam explained.

"NO!" I screamed.

"Baby, its fine. Hell, if I was a leech I wouldn't wanna mess with me. I'll be fine if it comes to that and the only thing that will cause me any pain will be being away from you" He told me, brushing his hands across my cheek.

"I cant lose you" I whispered as I kissed him softly on the neck.

"And you wont Bella"

…...

Paul POV

I was sitting on a log in Sam's back yard watching my Bella through the window. She was so beautiful yet so conflicted. I knew that she was scared for us all but she didn't want to show it.

"Hey man" Sam said, sitting down beside me.

"Hey"

"I cant believe the change in you" he muttered.

"Yeah, she makes me wanna be a better person ya know?" I told him.

"I know exactly how your feeling. She was chosen for you because she makes you a better wolf"

"She's so scared Sam. We both know that there's chance of one of us not coming back" I said, looking over at him.

"We all know that man. Emily's terrified but she knows that its our job and its what we were made for" he replied.

"I know. It doesn't make it any easier though does it? Just the thought of never seeing Bella again rips me open. I don't know if she'd survive the loss" I whispered, I could feel the tears threatening to fall from my eyes.

"We don't know that it will even have to come to that. Lets not think about it until we have to" he said standing up.

"Alright. Ill run patrol tomorrow" I told him as we walked back into the house together.

I walked into the kitchen where I found Bella hunched over the sink doing the dishes. I wrapped my arms around her waist and rested my head on her shoulder. I felt her relax against me.

"Do you think we could maybe go home?" She whispered.

"Of course" I replied, turning her round to face me.

"Good, I just want to forget all of this until tomorrow" she sighed, walking into the living room.

The drive home was even more quiet than earlier. I could feel the tension coming off of her body. It was suffocating.

"Baby, what you need is a nice hot shower and some sleep. You'll feel much better for it" I told her, placing my hand on her knee.

She said nothing and just continued to stare out of the window.

Around five minutes later, we pulled up to my place. She followed me silently to the house and walked straight up to my room.

"I'm gonna get you a drink and then ill be right up, okay?" I called to her.

She didn't reply.

So I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of jack daniels and two glasses. I walked up the staircase and turned into my bedroom. I found her sat on the window seat smoking a cigarette. She had her knees tucked into her chest and her free arm wrapped around her torso. I poured two drinks and handed one to her.

"Here you go" I whispered, handing her the glass.

She took it from me and downed it in one.

"Thanks" she muttered, handing the glass back to me.

"Honey, I don't know what to do. What's wrong?" I asked her softly.

"As if you don't know" she snapped at me.

"No, I really don't. Please tell me what's wrong" I said, sitting down on the edge of the bed to face her.

"Your going to do exactly what _he _did aren't you?" She asked me, her voice dripping with disappointment.

"What?" I was utterly confused by her question.

"Edward! Your gonna leave me just like he did!" She shouted, taking a long drag on her cigarette.

"How can you even compare us?" I shouted back at her.

I was getting angry. So angry that I was shaking. How could she even bring him up at a time like this?

"Oh really? He left me and now your leaving me. I guess I wont hear from you for months and then you'll suddenly pop up again, huh?" She was getting angrier by the second.

"Bella, its not anywhere near the same situation! This is what I have to do. Its my job! If I have to go you'll know where I am and I'll be in contact all the time" I told her.

I was clenching my fists so hard I was sure I was about to draw blood. I wouldn't let myself phase in front of her. Not in such close proximity.

"I don't think I can even breathe without you now! How am I meant to be apart from you?" She asked, tears now falling from her eyes.

"Baby, it wont be for long" I whispered as I pulled her into me.

Within seconds of touching her, I had calmed completely. She was running her soft hands up and down my chest as I buried my face into her hair.

"Honey, I cant promise that I wont leave you because sometimes I have to. I don't have a choice. You understand that, right?" I asked her, hoping she'd finally started to thinking rationally.

"Hmmm" she hummed.

I was taking her answer as a yes.

"We'll talk about this more in the morning sweetie. You need to sleep" I whispered into her ear as I carried her over to the bed.

I pulled back the covers and laid her down underneath them.

"Sweet dreams princess" I whispered as I kissed her softly on the forehead.

I walked out of the bedroom and down to the kitchen.

I had to call Sam. I needed to know if I was going to be leaving her or not. She had to know. So I dialled his number and waited for him to pick up.

"What's up man?" he answered.

"I gotta know how likely it is that we'll have to leave the rez?" I asked him.

"Its pretty likely. I'm sorry, I hate it too" I heard him sigh.

"How am I gonna leave her Sam? She's in pieces already. She's even comparing me to that filthy leech" I growled.

"I understand Paul, I really do. Leaving Emily will be gut wrenching, but they'll have the rest of the pack to lean on. Remember that" he told me.

"Yeah I know. Sometimes I just hate this shit. I wish we could all just lead a normal life, ya know?"

"I know, but if we weren't the way we are then neither of us would have what we have now. I don't know about you but I wouldn't want a life without Emily in it" he replied.

"Good point. So lets just say we're going to be leaving, how long have we got?" I asked him.

"About a week I'd say. We need to keep an eye on their activity for a while longer" he told me.

"Alright, Ill start patrol at ten tomorrow morning. I'm beat man, I gotta sleep"

"Okay, ill see you tomorrow" he replied.

"Bye" I said as I hung up the phone.

If I had to leave Bella, I would make the most of the time I had with her. If there was even the slightest chance that I wouldn't be coming back, I wanted her to have good memories of us.

Bella POV

I knew the things I had said to Paul were out of line. This situation was completely different from the one with me and Edward. I was just so angry that somebody else was being taken away from me. I knew that he'd come back but I didn't want to be away from him for one more second than I had to be.

I knew that it was his duty to the tribe so I would be supportive. I would be the perfect imprint, just like Emily. She always managed to keep it together. I wondered if she ever lost it with Sam. If she ever broke down from all the stress.

I would be strong for him, even if it meant falling to pieces when I was alone. He didn't need the added stress of me along with everything else.

I had decided that I would start off the day early and make him breakfast. French toast, scrambled eggs and bacon. I had it all. I placed it all on a tray with some orange juice and carried it up the stairs.

As I walked into the room I looked over at him to find that he was starfishes across the bed with a thin white sheet covering his perfectly coloured skin.

"Wake up sleepyhead" I called over at him.

He stirred a little but didn't wake. So I crawled upon the bed and straddled his waist.

"Come on baby, wake up" I whispered as I kissed the sensitive spot just below his left ear.

"Mmmmm….Morning" he mumbled under his breath, pulling my body into his.

"I made breakfast" I whispered, continuing to kiss his neck.

"I thought this was breakfast" he chuckled as he traced circles on my lower back with his warm fingers.

"No silly, you need a decent breakfast to build you up for patrol" I told him as I pulled myself up off him.

He pushed himself up on his elbows and ruffled his raven coloured hair. I picked up the tray and carried it over to him, placing it beside him on the bed.

"This looks delicious, thanks honey" he said, flashing me his gorgeous smile.

"No problem, I'm gonna take a shower, I've got work soon" I told him, picking out some fresh underwear.

"Okay babe, you sure you don't want any? You need to eat too" He suggested.

"No I'm fine, I already had some cereal. Enjoy that and ill be out in a few" I told him, blowing him a kiss and walking into the bathroom.

I removed my clothes and stepped into the shower, letting the hot water swarm my body.

I had managed to get through the morning without cracking up, so I would continue to stay strong for my wolf.

Paul POV

I had been shocked to see the total u-turn in Bella's emotions this morning. She had gone from being angry the evening before to being happy and cheery earlier today.

I had gone to sleep last night expecting more arguing and even more crying, so you can imagine how shocked I was to wake up to breakfast in bed. Not that I'm complaining.

It had pretty much been determined that Sam and I would leave on Sunday evening. It was Tuesday today. I hadn't yet told Bella this and I was praying that she wouldn't take it badly. It would kill me to have to leave her but hopefully we would back within a few days. Sam and I both knew that it could end badly for either one of us.

I arrived at Sam's place to start patrol. We were patrolling together for the day so it would give us plenty of time to go over our plans.

"Hey Paul" I heard Emily's sweet voice call.

"Hey girl" I greeted, pulling her in for a quick hug as she came out on to the porch.

"You hungry? I made way too many pancakes. I never know how much to make for you guys!" She laughed.

"No thanks Em. Bella surprised me with breakfast in bed this morning so I'm pretty full" I replied, flashing her a grin.

"Awww….You've turned into a puppy dog" she said as she ruffled my hair.

"Hey man" Sam said gruffly as he came out onto the porch.

"Hey, you ready?" I asked him.

"Yeah, lets go" he replied, kissing Emily on the cheek.

"See you later baby" she cooed at him.

We were walking side by side towards the woods when he stopped and turned to me.

"We need to talk about what's going to happen if one of us gets injured or worse" he told me, gripping my shoulder lightly.

"Yeah I know. Have you thought about it?" I asked him. I certainly had, how could I not?

"Yeah I have. I figure that if you go down, I go down with you" he replied, looking me dead in the eye.

"No way man. No fucking way. Your our alpha Sam, the pack needs you more than they need me. If something happens to me and I get myself in a sticky situation, just run" I told him.

"I cant do that Paul. I couldn't come back here and tell Bella that I just left you to die. You can't put that on me" he muttered.

Sam and I had never been one for showing our emotions, especially not to each other. So this was a new experience.

"Sam, if something did happen to me and you jumped in to save me, would you really want Emily to have to wait endlessly for you to come back? Or would you want a good friend, someone she knew to come back here and tell her? Because I know that if I do fail, I trust you completely to handle Bella's feelings" I told him, patting him on the shoulder.

"God, its not like we know what's going to happen. They could be a really easy target for us, but if they aren't and something does go wrong, you have my word that I will deliver the news to Bella myself. Do you promise to do the same thing for me Paul?" he asked me.

"Of course. I would never forgive myself if I couldn't at least do that for you" I replied.

"Okay, we'll talk about it some more closer to the time. Emily's organizing a bonfire for Friday night, I guess she just wants to make the most of the week. Make sure to tell Bella. I think Jared's already informed Jess" he explained.

"No problem" I replied.

The day went by in a flash, there were no discoveries but we knew they were still out there. We had caught a slight sniff of them but before we knew which way to go to catch up to them, their stench disappeared.

As I made my way back home, I thought of all the things I could do for Bella to make this week the best of her life. I would show her things she had never experienced before. I would make it memorable.

I jogged up to porch to breathe in the aroma of freshly cooked meat. My Bella was taking care of me again, and I couldn't be more grateful for it.

"Hey baby" she chirped as I walked through the front door.

"Hi" I whispered, pulling her in for a hug.

We remained connected for a few minutes before I finally released her from my hold.

"I missed you" she said, looking deep into my eyes.

"I missed you too honey" I replied, brushing my fingers lightly down her cheek.

"I made you dinner, I thought we could hang out tonight. Eat, watch a couple of movies. Maybe you could play me something on your guitar?" She suggested.

"I cant think of anything I'd rather do" I said, kissing her softly on the lips.

"How was patrol?" She asked, turning to walk back into the kitchen.

"It was fine. Bella, I have something to tell you" I called out to her.

She stopped dead on the spot and turned around slowly to meet my gaze. That look of love had been replaced by a look of worry. She nodded to me, urging me to carry on.

"Sam and I are leaving on Sunday evening"

"Ok" she whispered, before slowly turning and walking into the kitchen.

"I'm gonna go take a shower and then we'll eat" I called as I ran up the stairs.

As I reached the top, I heard a gut wrenching sob escape her body. The sound of it punched a hole into my heart. I couldn't begin to imagine what it would do to her if I didn't return.

I would fight until the end to come home to my Bella. A couple of months ago I didn't have a care in the world, nothing to lose.

Now I had everything, and I didn't want to let it go.

…...

**Anybody reaching for the tissues? **

**Although things are getting pretty miserable, I can promise a happy ending. But it may not be the one you hoped for. **

**I don't want to give anything away, but I hope you will all continue to read. I'm so passionate about the story.**

**Thank you so much for reading. I cant thank you all enough. **

**Love you all**

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**


	16. You Light A Fire Within Me

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight & all of its characters. I own nothing.**

**Enjoy**

"_Sam and I are leaving on Sunday evening" _

"_Ok" she whispered, before slowly turning and walking into the kitchen._

"_I'm gonna go take a shower and then we'll eat" I called as I ran up the stairs._

_As I reached the top, I heard a gut wrenching sob escape her body. The sound of it punched a hole into my heart. I couldn't begin to imagine what it would do to her if I didn't return._

_I would fight until the end to come home to my Bella. A couple of months ago I didn't have a care in the world, nothing to lose. _

_Now I had everything, and I didn't want to let it go._

…...

Bella POV

"_Sam and I are leaving on Sunday evening" _

Those words had been echoing through my head since Paul had returned from patrol. I know I had promised myself that I wouldn't break down and that I was going to be strong. I couldn't hold it back any longer. Of course I had been sobbing at any chance I had when he wasn't around.

I was stupid to think that I'd be able to keep up the façade. He could probably smell the salty tears a mile away.

So here we were. Eating dinner. In complete silence.

We hadn't said a word to each other since he told me. It wasn't comfortable and it was a huge effort to even eat. I managed it though. I got up to clear my plate and started to wash the frying pan.

"Bella" I heard him whisper.

"Yes?" I replied, trying to sound upbeat.

"Honey, I know your sad but I really don't know how I can fix this. You said you understood why I had to go, you do right?" He asked.

"Yeah I do. I swear. Its just that its so hard to imagine life without you now, even if its just for a couple of days. The fact that you don't even know how long you'll be gone makes it even worse. I'm really trying to stay supportive for you, but I'm just finding it a little difficult. I'll be better, I promise" I told him.

He stood up from the table and walked towards me.

"You have no idea how much I don't want to have to go. If there was any other way I swear…" I cut him off with a kiss.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him slowly, pouring every ounce of love I had into it. I arched my back as he sucked and nibbled my bottom lip.

"I wanna show you something tonight" he mumbled through kisses.

"Hmmm…what's that then?" I asked, pulling away from him.

"A special place we used to go when I was a kid. I really want to make this a good week. I want you to have lots of nice things to remember while I'm away and then when I come back we can create more good memories" he replied, smiling down at me.

"Sounds perfect. You gonna give me clue as to where this place is?"

He shook his head.

"Okay, but you at least have to fill me in on what I need to wear" I laughed.

"Something warm. I need to grab the tent from the garage while you get ready" he told me.

"Tent? Sounds like it could be interesting" I said wiggling my eyebrows.

"Oh it will be" he replied, smirking.

"Okay, ill go get ready" I said, kissing him quickly on the lips before running up to Paul's room.

Pretty much all of my clothes were in his room now. Jared was barely here anymore, he was always with Jess so it worked out pretty perfectly. Paul and I hadn't officially moved in together but may well as have.

I stripped down to my underwear and pulled on a pair of stonewashed skinny jeans and a thick, white scoop neck jumper. I pulled on my purple ugg boots and descended back downstairs.

I figured if we'd be camping we'd need supplies. So I grabbed a bag and began to fill it with chips, marshmallows and beer. Beer was always a good camping addition. I grabbed my Ipod and Paul's docking system and placed them in a separate bag.

"I've loaded my truck with the tent. Ill grab my quilt too, I always feel like sleeping bags are too slippy ya know?" he said, winking at me.

I felt the blood rush to my cheeks as I nodded.

As he ran upstairs to get the quilt I pulled on my jacket and made sure I had my phone and credit card. Just in case. I, Bella Swan, was always prone to disaster.

"Okay, you ready?" he asked, walking to quilt out to his truck.

"Yeah, ill just grab these bags and then ill be out" I called to him as I picked up the tote bags.

I walked out of the front door, locking it as I went and then jogged over to the truck. I placed the bags in the boot and climbed into the passenger seat.

"Ready? Your not too cold are you?" he asked me.

"No, I'm fine. Besides, I have you to keep me warm" I smiled.

He started the truck and began the way to our location, which I still had no idea about.

I watched out of the window as we left town and headed out onto the country roads. We drove through what seemed like an eternity of greenery before turning off onto an uphill trail.

We kept driving until we came to a halt at the neck of a clearing out in the forest.

"We're here" he beamed.

We stepped out of the truck and started to unload the truck.

"I want you to stay in the truck for a little while okay?" he told me.

"Why? What are you planning?" I asked, raising one brow.

"You'll see" he winked.

With that I hopped back into the passenger side and turned on the radio. I put my feet up on the dashboard and hummed along to Paramore.

Thirty minutes later Paul appeared in front of the truck. He waved at me to get out.

"Your being very secretive baby" I chuckled.

"It will all be worth it when you see" he told me.

He took my hand in his and lead me towards the clearing.

"Close your eyes" he whispered.

I did as he asked and allowed him to lead me blindly the rest of the way. We took a few more steps before we came to a halt.

I could hear the sounds of Damien Rice filling the air as I felt him wrap his arms around my waist from behind.

"Okay, open them"

I opened my eyes to find the most breathtaking sight. I had never imagined he would have gone to this much effort. There was a campfire blazing away beside our tent which had been padded out with blankets and he had scattered rose petals at the entrance. We were on a cliff edge that overlooked the beach, the sun was setting and the sky had turned orange.

I felt tears prick my eyes as I took in my surroundings. I was overwhelmed that he had done this for me. For us.

"Do you like it?" he asked, in an almost shy tone.

I turned around to face him, looking him straight in the eye.

"Its perfect. I love you so much" I replied, letting a few small teardrops escape my eyes.

He lifted his hand up to my face and softly wiped them away.

"I'm glad" he smiled.

We spent the next couple of hours talking about everything and anything. We drank beer and toasted marshmallows on the fire. It was perfect.

Paul held me close to him the entire time. I was laying in between his legs with my back leant against his chest. Just The Way You Are by Bruno Mars filled the air around us.

"I love this song" I said, smiling.

"It reminds me of you" he whispered into my ear.

I turned to face him and looked straight into his beautiful chocolate coloured eyes.

"Everything reminds me of you. I think of you every second of every day. You belong to me" I whispered back.

As I looked into his eyes I could see the fire flickering inside them. Not just the literal fire but the emotional fire.

Tonight was going to be a good night.

…..

Paul POV

I awoke the next morning with Bella laying over me in all of her naked glory. Last night had been amazing. Just spending time together. Me and her. Of course I'd had one of the pack close by in light of recent events. We had made love all night. Of course there was the occasional fuck, but mostly I had taken my time with her. Caressing every inch of her body.

I almost felt sorry for whoever it was on patrol. I'm pretty sure she could've been heard screaming in China.

"Morning" I heard her mutter as she rolled off of my chest.

She looked beautiful. Her hair was ruffled and her lips were plump and reddened. That would have something to do with the fact that I kissed her senseless and she gave me the most incredible blow job.

"Hey baby" I replied, cupping her cheek with my palm.

"I wish we could relive last night again. I don't wanna have to go back to normal life today" she pouted.

"I know baby. We've still got another hour or so before I have to be back. I'm sure we could make the most of it" I said with a seductive grin on my face.

Before I knew where I was at, she pounced on me. She mashed her lips together with mine and tugged at my hair. I growled in satisfaction.

"I know we made love last night, but I love it when you pound into me" she whispered as she slowly nibbled down my collar bone.

I loved it when she talked dirty.

I wrapped my arms around her body as she straddled me. I pulled her up to face me and took a handful of hair with my fist, pulling her down to kiss me.

I begged for entrance to her mouth with my tongue, she granted it of course taking my tongue between her lips and sucking lightly. My eyes rolled back into my head from the pleasure.

"No foreplay, just fuck me" she whimpered as she released my tongue.

God she didn't know what she could do to me. I didn't reply, just grabbed hold of her hips and slammed her down onto my already erect cock.

"FUCK!" she howled.

Foreplay wouldn't have been needed anyway, she was soaking. I thrust in and out of her at almost inhuman speed. She was clawing away at my chest, screaming out in pleasure.

I watched her perfect little breasts bouncing up and down as I pounded her. She was loving every second of it. She looked down at my through her thick lashes, taking her bottom lip inbetween her teeth. I wrapped my hands around her neck and pulled her down to kiss me, all the while still pounding her perfect pussy.

She ran her tongue over my lips and nipped at it lightly.

"I love it when your rough with me. I'm not breakable baby, harder" she growled, winking at me.

That was all I needed to hear. I grabbed hold of her waist and flipped her over so she was on her hands and knees. I believe the term "face down, ass up" is correct. Her beautiful round ass was welcoming me, I licked the tips of my fingers and thrust two fingers inside her pussy, stretching it out as I brought my lips down to it.

I licked all the way up her slit as she writhed in pleasure. I flicked her clit with my tongue a couple of times before pulling me fingers out.

"How rough do you want it baby?" I asked her huskily.

"Damn rough" she whispered.

I chuckled at her response and brought my juice covered fingers round to her mouth.

"Taste yourself" I growled.

I felt her lips around my fingers as she sucked and licked every inch of my fingers, moaning as she did so. I took this opportunity to surprise her and thrust my cock all the way inside of her. I felt her muscles tighten around me as I pounded in and out of her. I kept my fingers in her mouth as she proceeded to suck on them like she was devouring a luxurious feast. That's exactly what Bella's pussy was. A feast.

I tore my hand away from her mouth and heard her whimper as I did so. I brought the same hand and slapped her tight little ass hard, earning a high pitched squeal from her mouth. I gripped her waist hard and carried on fucking her. Damn I loved this girl but when she was bad, she was very bad.

"Harder!" she screamed.

I obliged as I lowered myself behind her, the angle helped my thrust even further inside of her. Further than I ever though possible. I could feel her muscles tightening more and more by the second. She was close and so was I. I slowed my thrusts slightly, wanting the moment to last as long as possible.

"Baby…" she whimpered.

I laughed at that and quickened my movements again.

A few more thrusts and I was ready to explode. Literally.

"Oh fuck….I'm gonna come baby" I told her.

"Me too….Bite me" she screamed.

I pulled her body up to meet mine, still pounding her and gripped her neck with my hands.

"Coming…" she whimpered.

I bit down on the healed wound, drawing a slight amount of blood as he muscles clamped down onto my cock, and fuck did it feel good.

At that moment I let go, I spilled every last drop of myself inside of her. I felt my cock tighten and my balls twitch as I gripped her hips harder. With one last thrust I felt her collapse beneath me.

I led down beside her. As I ran my fingers softly up and down her spine, I felt her trembling.

"I love you" she whispered."I love you too" I replied, pulling her on top of me.

Her hair was messy and bits of it were stuck to her face from the sweat. She looked breathtaking. My girl, my Bella.

"Always yours" she whispered to me.

"I said that out loud?" I asked.

"No, but I always know what your thinking" she giggled.

The perfect ending, to a perfect morning.

Bella POV

"I Will Roar You As Gently As Any Sucking Dove, I Will Roar You, As 'Twere Any Nightingale"

Midsummer Nights Dream. Possibly the best Shakespeare play ever written, other that Romeo & Juliet of course.

I found myself reading through his works whenever I was lost or lonely. I had a feeling that I'd be reading them a lot over the next couple of weeks.

Last night and this morning had been wonderful. It couldn't have been more perfect.

Paul had to patrol tonight which sucked, but I had invited Jake over to watch a movie and hang out for a while. Well, I say I invited him, he kinda invited himself. I wasn't aloud to be alone. Ever. I was pretty sure that if I needed to pee I wouldn't be aloud to go unsupervised. Ridiculous really. I didn't think a vampire would want to attack me on the toilet.

"I read that once for school, pretty interesting" I heard him say.

I looked up over my book and smiled at him. Thankfully he was wearing a shirt. Surprising considering none of them ever did. Yes Jake was my best friend, but I wasn't blind.

"It is one of the best. What's up?" I asked.

"Not much, the usual. Sam's going crazy over all this shit. Its pretty bad Bells" he replied.

"Yeah I know. I'm trying to ignore it all until I have no choice" I told him, pouting a little.

"Yeah well, I'd love to be able to do that" he laughed.

I hopped up off the sofa and made my way to the kitchen.

"So, what movie did you pick out?" he asked me.

"Your gonna laugh" I giggled.

"Oh god, not a chick flick. Please, I cant sit through any more of those" he whined.

"Hey! I like chick flicks, but no its not a chick flick. I picked out something that I though you could relate to"

"Oh god. An American Werewolf In Paris? Because I swear Bella, that jokes getting a little old for me" I huffed.

"No, not that. Come sit down and you'll find out soon enough" I told him, walking back in to the living room with a bowl of sugary popcorn. I plopped myself down on the sofa and hit the play button on the remote.

I watched him out of the corner of my eye as the title sequence came on the screen.

"Fuck Bells! Van Helsing? Are you kidding me?" he laughed.

"Oh come on! Don't tell me you don't love pointing out the inaccuracies!" I said, punching his arm playfully.

"Well, maybe a little, but all in all this movie sucks. No pun intended" he told me, chuckling over his little joke.

We watched half of the movie before I'd had enough of the running commentary from Jake and decided to switch it off. I found myself drifting to sleep with my head in his lap.

The last thing I remember was a soft kiss upon my forehead.

…**...**

**I'm so sorry for the wait! With Christmas and New year it was so difficult to find the time. To be honest I kind of lost my way with this story for a while. I found myself rewriting everything I wrote, so I'm sorry if this chapter isn't as good as the rest of them. **

**Please let me know what you think and review!**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**


	17. You Like What You See?

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters.**

"_Fuck Bells! Van Helsing? Are you kidding me?" he laughed._

"_Oh come on! Don't tell me you don't love pointing out the inaccuracies!" I said, punching his arm playfully. _

"_Well, maybe a little, but all in all this movie sucks. No pun intended" he told me, chuckling over his little joke. _

_We watched half of the movie before I'd had enough of the running commentary from Jake and decided to switch it off. I found myself drifting to sleep with my head in his lap._

_The last thing I remember was a soft kiss upon my forehead._

…...

Bella POV

My eyes flickered open as I heard my phone buzzing on the coffee table. I ruffled my hair as I sat up. I had fallen asleep on Jake, but now he was nowhere to be seen. My only guess is that he was on patrol. I looked down at my legs and saw the blanket that had been placed over me and smiled. Always the thoughtful one was Jake.

I stood up and stretched my legs above my head and let out what almost resembled a growl. I laughed at the habits that I'd been picking up from Paul.

My phone vibrated again against the glass of the table. I leant down, picked it up and made my way to the kitchen. I pulled out a bottle of water from the fridge and looked down at my phone.

5.45pm.

I must've been tired. It didn't look like I'd be getting much sleep tonight now. Not that I minded seeing as though Paul would be finished in a little while. I had too spend as much time as I could with him. I didn't want one moment to go un cherished.

I opened up the text message. It was from Jess.

_Hey girl,_

_A few of us are heading over to Seattle tonight._

_We're gonna hit the clubs and stay over._

_Let me know if you and Paul are in?_

_Love ya!_

_Xx_

As much as I wanted to spend some alone time with Paul, it would be fun to see Jess. I had been neglecting our friendship a little lately. Lets face it, I needed some fun.

Since I quit the cocaine, I hadn't really been out all that much. To be honest, I didn't really trust myself. Although I knew that with Paul beside me, I could do it. I could resist temptation. Paul had told me that Jared had quit too, as had Jess. She told me that she didn't want me to have any distractions and although I had failed to mention just how much I was putting away, she was ever the supportive friend. Friends like Jess were hard to find. One in a million.

_Hey,_

_Yeah I'm pretty sure we're in._

_Ill double check with Paul in a little while._

_But yeah, count us in._

_Call me with details._

_Love x_

I pressed the send button and set my phone down on the counter. I took a long swig from the water bottle.

As I turned around I noticed the note sitting on the kitchen table. I picked it up and read it.

_Hey Bells, _

_Sorry I had to leave, no problem just needed to pick my sister up from the airport. _

_If your heading over to Seattle with everyone else, ill see you later_

_Xx_

I threw the note back down on the table and walked out onto the porch. I set myself down on the step and lit up a cigarette.

"Bella!" I heard Jess call.

I looked down the street to find her jogging towards me looking thoroughly worn out. I hadn't taken Jess for a runner, at least I'd never seen her run. Well, unless it was after a guy.

"Hey. Running Jess? Really?" I laughed as she collapsed into a starfish position on the ground in front of me.

"I'm on a bit of a health kick. Jared's so fit and he's got muscles that could make even me blush. I cant keep up Bella!" She replied, breathing heavily.

"Oh come on! You don't see me complaining. Besides, its not like he could even leave you if he wanted to" I joked, poking my tongue out at her.

"I'm not even going to answer that" she laughed.

I took a drag on my cigarette and threw the packet at her. She took one out, placed it in between her lips and lit it with my lighter.

"God…" she groaned as she rested her head back onto the floor.

"So, tonight? What's the plan?" I asked her.

She took a drag on her cigarette before she answered.

"Well, we're heading out there at around nine. None of the decent clubs will even be open until eleven. I'm getting ready before we go though, don't want to waste any time when we get there. Did you speak to Paul yet?" she asked.

"Speak to me about what" I heard his husky voice coming from behind me.

I spun around to find him leaning up against the door biting down on an apple. Every time I saw him, he got sexier and sexier.

"Your back early?" I squealed, throwing the cigarette to the floor and leaping up."Yeah, Sam took over. So what did you need to talk to me about?" he asked me.

"Jess and the guys are heading over to Seattle tonight, wanna go?"

"Yeah sure. I'm gonna need to freshen up though, still a little dirty ya know?" he replied, winking at me.

"Ugh…God. Do you two ever give it a break?" Jess huffed.

"Oh come on, I don't think your one to talk missy!" I laughed.

"Whatever, me and Jared will pick you up at nine. I gotta run back now, jeez I think my legs are gonna fall off. See you two later!" she waved as she got up and started to jog down the street.

I laughed and turned to walk into the house.

"You don't mind going tonight do you?" I asked Paul.

"Of course not. I want to spend time with our friends. It'll be fun" I smiled at him.

"Yeah it will. I gotta take a shower though, care to join me?" he asked me.

"Hell yeah" I replied, darting towards the stairs with Paul hot on my tail.

…

Paul POV

Shower sex was always pretty refreshing. Especially with Bella. My gorgeous Bella.

After I'd finished brushing my teeth I turned to walk out of the bathroom to throw on some clothes.

I pulled on a pair of dark blue jeans and a long sleeved, white button up shirt. I rolled up the sleeves to my elbows and slipped my feet into a pair of faux leather black shoes.

I walked over to the mirror and double checked myself. I would do. It was Bella who I was looking forward to seeing. She always looked hot but when she dressed up to go out, that was when she was smoking hot.

I strapped my leather cuff around my wrist and trotted down the stairs to the kitchen. I grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat down on the sofa.

I had been sat there around five minutes when Jared burst through the door with Jess in tow.

"Hey man, Bella nearly ready?" he asked, taking two beers out of the fridge and handing one to Jess.

Jess hopped up and sat on the sideboard as Jared took a seat at the kitchen table.

"She'll be down in a sec. So where are we headed tonight" I asked.

"There's a new club that just opened up. I cant remember what its called but the lap dancers come out after midnight" Jared told me, winking in my direction.

"Your kidding right? And your alright with this?" I asked Jess.

"Hey, I may be a girl, but I love a good lap dance as much as the next guy" she laughed.

"Did I tell you how much I love you?" Jared asked her, she giggled.

We chatted idly for a few more minutes before I heard the bathroom door creak open upstairs.

"You coming down baby?" I yelled up at her.

"Yeah I'll be down in two seconds!" she shouted back.

And boy when she appeared at the top of the stairs did she look hot. She was wearing a black, bodycon dress with a mesh back. It was low cut and dipped down to just above her glorious breasts. It was pretty short, it came to mid-thigh and it was skin tight. She looked amazing. I definitely wasn't expecting that!

She had on a pair of black stiletto heels and her hair was down in soft waves. I was one lucky man.

"Wow. You look hot honey!" I heard Jess call.

I saw the blood rise to Bella's cheeks as the compliments flowed. As she reached the last step on the stairs she made her way over to me. I swept her hair around one shoulder and buried my face in her neck. She smelt phenomenal. A mix of cherries, fresh water and me. Of course my mark on her would always give off my scent. I was pretty surprised that none of the guys had noticed. I hadn't told them yet, I didn't want to freak them out. I knew how everyone felt about inflicting pain on their imprints. The tale of Emily and Sam had pretty much scared them away from the idea of marking.

"You look stunning" I whispered to her as I nibbled lightly on her earlobe.

I felt her arch herself into me and the smell of her arousal filled my nostrils.

"As much as I'd love to take you right here in the kitchen, I think we're on a tight schedule. Come on baby" I told her, taking hold of her hand and leading her towards the front door.

I grabbed my black leather jacket and threw it on. The girls collected their coats and handbags and we soon found ourselves on the way to Seattle in Jared's Mitsubishi truck. Jared and I in the front. Bella and Jess in the back. You know how girls like to gossip, and I definitely wasn't going to be trapped in the backseat with Bella if I couldn't have her.

I promised myself that as soon as we got some time alone that I would show her just how beautiful she looked.

We drove for around an hour before parking up in the motel parking lot. We quickly checked in to our individual rooms and made our way into the city. Jake, Embry and Kim were going to meet us at the club.

I couldn't take my hands off of Bella. Sure, I was always attracted to her. I always wanted her, but tonight I just couldn't explain it. She was the only person I could see.

"I cant wait to get on that dance floor!" Jess squealed.

"If your lucky I might give you a lap dance" Bella told her, grabbing her hand and strolling further down the street.

"Jesus, I'm not sure my balls could handle that scene" I heard Jared whisper from beside me.

Usually, I wouldn't take too kindly to a comment like that. Then again lets be honest, my Bella rubbing herself up against a hot chick. Who wouldn't want to see that?

We arrived at the club ten minutes later, walking straight in and to the bar. The décor was sensual. The walls were black with deep red drapes hanging from the ceiling. There were a few poles on podiums and a couple of cages. There were two bars, one on each side of the dance floor. The music was pumping from the speakers and the club was bouncing.

"Drink?" I asked Bella as she hopped up on to one of the bar stools.

"Please. Tequila and tonic" she beamed.

"Whatever my lady wants"

….

Bella POV

It had been about half an hour since we'd entered the club. Embry, Kim and Jake had just arrived. I felt pretty bad that Jake was the only single one. That was until there were swarms of women paying him ridiculous amounts of attention.

"I'm just gonna go to the bathroom" Paul whispered to me.

I nodded as he walked off towards the other side of the room.

"Hey Bells!" I heard Jake call, finally freeing himself of the females surrounding him.

"You've got quite the fan club there Jake" I chuckled.

"Ugh, don't Bells. Its getting a little frustrating. Sure, they're attractive but I don't want any of them. I'm not really a one night stand kinda guy" he huffed.

"Awww Jakey! You do need to get laid!" I laughed.

"I'm quite capable of sorting myself out thank you" he told me.

"I don't need a visual Jake!" I cringed.

"Yeah well ya know, its not like I'm a virgin or anything" he shrugged.

Well that was a piece of information I didn't already know. I was almost disappointed that he hadn't told me, but then again Jake was _Jake. _I didn't need him clamming up on me while he confessed that he'd lost his innocence. Oh who am I kidding, he's never been innocent.

"You sly dog!" I squealed.

"Hey! Its sly wolf to you Miss Swan!" he laughed.

An hour or so went by and we all continued to drink up and have a giggle. Jess and I had shared a pitcher of vodka and orange between us, suffice to say we were pretty tipsy. I guess you could say we were feeling a little mischievous.

"I have an idea" Jess whispered into my ear.

I had no doubt that this little snippet hadn't gone unnoticed by the guys. It was difficult to remember that they had super human hearing.

"Bathroom Jess? You realise they can hear you right?" I asked her, pointing over to Embry, Jake and Paul.

"Oh jeez, I cant get a moment on privacy. Kim's already in the bathroom, we'll ambush her in there" Jess giggled.

She grabbed me by the hand and pulled me towards the ladies bathroom. Once inside we spotted Kim at the vanity mirror. She was definitely a sight to behold. She wore a red satin dress that hung off of one shoulder, hugging her curves in all the right places. It came to mid thigh and she had on a pair of matching stilettos.

"Kimmy!" I called.

"Oh hey girls!" she replied, smiling in our direction.

I spotted a comfy couch in the corner of the room and collapsed onto it taking a sip from my drink.

"I have _the_ best idea!" Jess exclaimed.

"Share?" I urged.

"Well, we all know that our boys get all hot under the collar when they see us dressed like this" she started.

Kim and I urged her to carry on.

"Well, I happen to know the manager here. Mike. He's pretty cool. Come to think of it, you know him too Bella. Remember dorky Mike Newton from high school?" she asked me.

Did I remember Mike Newton? Of course I did. He spent his entire high school life pestering me for dates. Of course I turned him down every time but that didn't dampen his spirit. However, he was completely harmless.

"He owns this place? I thought he'd end up running his own computer company or something" I laughed.

"Well that's what we all thought babe. No, he's got a chain of nightclubs around the Seattle area. I heard he was branching out to New York. Anyway, what do you say we put on a little show for our boys?" she asked, raising one brow.

"That all depends on the kind of show your talking about" Kim piped up, a sly smile crept upon her lips.

"We all know that the lap dancers come out after midnight? Well, what do you say ladies? Fancy shocking the hell out of them?" she asked us, giggling.

"Oh god, your actually serious. That's pretty bold Jess. You know how possessive they get!" I exclaimed.

"Oh boo hoo. It'll do them good to feel a little jealousy. Tell me, how often do you catch other women checking out your honeys?" she asked us.

Kim and I looked at each other and exchanged knowing glances.

"Exactly. Ill go talk to Mike. It'll be fine. Besides, you know you'll be in for one hell of a night afterwards right?" she winked at us.

With that, Jess swayed out of the bathroom and left Kim and I to our own devices.

"God, they're not going to know what hit them" Kim laughed.

"Tell me about it" I replied, chuckling to myself at the thought of Paul's face when he saw me shaking my ass on stage. It would be priceless, there was no doubt about it.

…...

Paul POV

Soon enough, midnight came. This was when the real fun would start. I had already promised myself that Bella_ would_ get a lap dance and it would be so damn hot.

"Hey have you seen Jess?" Jared asked me, looking frustrated.

"Yeah I cant find Kim either" Embry moaned.

"The last I knew, they ran off to the bathroom whispering something about an idea" I told them.

"Well I can still smell Kim so I know she's around here somewhere" Embry smirked.

The music died down slightly and a voice came over the speakers.

"_Good evening everyone! As you all know this is where the night starts to get a little more interesting. However, before we continue, I have a special trio to introduce you to and hot damn do they look good. I have no doubt that your gonna love this gentlemen! Without further ado I present to you Jessica Stanley, Kimberley Connweller and Bella Swan!" _he bellowed.

Jake, Embry, Jared and I all stared at each other in shock before snapping out of it as the music blared out of the speakers.

"God, I've gotta see this man!" Jared howled.

Rihanna featuring Drake 'What's My Name?" began over the sound system as we made our way closer to the stage.

We settled into four seats right next to the stage.

I waited patiently, desperate to see my woman working it.

She didn't disappoint, hell none of them did. They sauntered out onto the stage and made their way over to individual poles.

_Not everybody knows how to work my body_

_Knows how to make me want it_

_But boy you stay up on it_

I watched as Bella positioned herself so she was directly facing me. She slid down the pole painfully slow, and parted her legs slightly and she reached the bottom. I looked up at her face as she winked at me and took her bottom lip in between her teeth.

Oh boy was she getting it hard tonight.

_Hey boy, I really wanna see if you can go down town with a girl like me_

_Hey boy, I really wanna be with you cause your just my type_

_I need a boy to take it over_

_Oh na na, whats my name?_

She spun around the pole like a pro, my cock stiffened in my pants as I watched her lower herself to the ground and begin to crawl over to me on her hands and knees.

Suddenly the music changed and Beyonce feat Lady Gaga 'Videophone' came over the speakers.

I kept eye contact with my sexy kitten as she licked her lips and made her way closer to me.

_Them hustlers keep on talking_

_They like the way I'm walking_

_You saying that you want me_

_So press record, Ill let you film me_

Bella was within arms reach of me but I couldn't bring myself to move. I had never seen anything hotter than this.

Oh I couldn't have been more wrong. In an instant, Jess and Kim positioned themselves either side of Bella. So close that they were brushing against each other.

I tore my eyes away from them for a second to find the other guys glued to their seats, mouths wide open

_You my phone star_

_And I'm happy when my lights flashin' cause you are my reciever_

_Oh, hubba hubba_

_Honey, baby is so sexy that he should win an oscar_

I continued to watch them work their magic. Jess swept Bellas hair away from her neck and placed a chaste kiss just below her earlobe. I should be jealous right now, but fuck! This was any guys fantasy.

_And when you miss me_

_Just remember that I always got you with me_

_I'll be your Gene, you'll be my Brando_

_I'ma put you in my movie if you think you can handle _

_(Can you handle it?)_

The three of them rubbed together sensually, rolling their hips into one another. I could smell Bella's arousal, it was filling the air around me. I watched as she swung her head back, whipping her hair all around her all the while still rolling her hips into Kim and Jess.

_You like what you see (Can you handle it?)_

_You wanna video me? (Can you handle it?)_

_You like what you see (Can you handle it?)_

_Go on and video me (Can you handle it?)_

_You wanna video me_

As the song came to a close, Bella leant over, leaning on her knees and elbows. She reached out and grabbed hold of my shirt and pulled me forcefully toward her. She crashed her lips to mine and kissed me fiercely.

She released me almost immediately and leant back. She took hold of Jess's neck with one hand and Kim's with the other. That's when my balls nearly exploded.

_Uh, uh, uh, ah, uh_

_Uh, uh, uh, ah, uh_

_(If you want me you can watch me on your videophone)_

Bella leant towards Jess and gave her a sensual kiss on the lips and then repeated the motion with Kim.

All three girls looked at their men and winked.

As the song finished, the room went wild. People were on their feet for our girls.

Although I was beyond grateful for what they had done for us, it didn't pain me to know that they wouldn't be doing this again in public for a while.

Oh yes, Miss Swan had been a _very _naughty girl, and tonight she would definitely pay for it.

…...

**I hope you all enjoyed the latest chapter.**

**Ive been sat writing it for a few hours and I wanted it perfect before I posted it.**

**Let me know what you think.**

**We're only a couple of chapters from Paul's departure.**

**Never fear, the entire story is now mapped out in my head and I can tell you that no matter what happens, they ****WILL**** end up in each others arms.**

**Thank you so much for reading.**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**


	18. All Of Me, Always

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

**I recommend you listen to Band Of Horses 'Part One' whilst reading this chapter. I promise you that this chapter wont read the same without it. The song lyrics are in italics towards the end of this chapter. Please look it up on you tube. I had it on repeat the whole time I was writing this chapter.**

**Enjoy!**

Bella POV

The next three of days went by in a blur. We spent time together and cherished every moment we had.

It was now Friday afternoon. Emily had arranged a bonfire at First Beach for the pack and the imprints. I had begun to see all of them as my family. Sure, I had Charlie and Renee was back in Phoenix, but the pack were the only people I could truly rely on. They were the only people that I could talk candidly with. I would never be able to discuss my relationship fully with anyone else.

Emily and I would share our fears with each other over Sam and Paul leaving. It was a light relief that I would at least have somebody who understood to talk to while they were away.

We had both decided that I would stay with her at her house. Of course the rest of the pack would be present around the clock and I don't think we'd have it any other way.

I knew that the separation was going to be unbearable but I would stay as strong as I physically could. I know I promised myself that when I found out that Paul would be leaving, but I knew that he'd need me to be strong. He wouldn't want me to mope around the whole time he was gone. I had convinced myself that he'd be back before I knew it.

"Hey Bella" I heard Jess call from the doorway.

"Oh hey! You okay hun?" I asked her.

"Yeah I guess" she muttered.

I turned to look at her and saw that her eyes were puffy and red. Her cheeks had tear marks across them from where she'd tried to rub them away.

"Oh, what's wrong sweetie?" I asked her as I made my way towards her.

I ushered her into Emily's living room and sat her down on the couch.

"Oh god, what have I done?" She sobbed, covering her face with her hands.

" I don't know honey, you have to tell me. I cant do anything to help unless you tell me" I cooed as I rubbed circles on her upper back.

"I told Jared to leave. I told him I didn't want him. When he first told me about the imprint, he said that he'd be whatever I wanted him to be. He said that if I asked him to leave then he would. We had a stupid argument and he just left. He left Bella!" she sobbed.

"Oh sweetie. I'm sure it'll all blow over. He'll come around" I told her.

"You don't know what happened Bella. I don't think I can ever forgive him" she cried as she fell into me.

She placed her head on my lap and sobbed even harder.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but what did he do?" I asked carefully.

I didn't get a reply. Instead she held onto me for dear life and cried. I stroked her hair gently and tried to reassure her that everything would be alright, but every time I did that she shook her head and cried harder.

I noticed Emily standing at the doorway to the kitchen. She looked torn. Like there was something she wanted to tell me. I shrugged my shoulders at her and she beckoned me into the kitchen.

"Honey, I'm just going to get you a drink of water okay? I'll be back in a minute" I whispered to her as I stood up carefully.

She curled up into a ball at the end of the sofa and continued to sob.

"She wont tell me what happened. I don't know what to do for her" I sighed as I walked into the kitchen, taking a seat at the table.

Emily sat down in the seat opposite me and shook her head.

"You know what happened?" I asked her.

"Yes Bella, I know" she whispered.

"What did he do Emily? She's in such a state" I urged.

"She caught him with somebody else Bella"

The anger that flew through me at that moment was overpowering. She was my girl and I had promised myself that nobody would hurt her. Never.

"Bella, calm down" Emily whispered as she placed her hand on top of mine.

"How could he do this to her? I mean, literally, how?" I asked.

"I don't know Bella. It is possible" she muttered, looking down at her feet.

"Sam?"

She nodded.

"Oh Emily, I'm so sorry" I stood up and wrapped my arms around her.

I gave her a squeeze before walking over to the fridge and pulling out a bottle of white wine. I grabbed two glasses from the cupboard and sat down in the seat next to her.

I opened to screw top and poured two large glasses of wine.

"What happened?" I asked.

"It wasn't that long ago. I'm sure you already know about Sam and Leah"

I nodded.

"Well, everything had been fine. Leah finally seemed to be getting over it. That was until Seth, her little brother, phased and told her all about the imprint. She thought that I had ripped Sam away from her against his will, which I suppose in a way is true. Leah took it too far. We had a bonfire down at the beach to welcome Seth to the pack, and of course she came along with him. I have wanted nothing more than to repair my relationship with Leah since the imprint, but she cant let it go. I suppose I don't blame her. I cant even begin to dream of how I would feel if Sam was taken away from me" she took a gulp of her wine before carrying on.

"Leah started to pursue Sam again. He would swear to me that he didn't love her anymore, that it was me he wanted to spend his life with. I believed him, I still do, but what I walked in on will never leave my memory. I found them, together in our bed. I cant tell you what that felt like Bella. I thought my heart had been ripped out and stamped on. I wanted to kill her. Both of them. Sam and I separated for a while. Of course he would still come over, we couldn't be apart for too long. The imprint wouldn't allow it. We only got back together recently. I understand that he still loves her, I know he loves me more but I feel like that was his way of saying goodbye to her after all this time. I know it sounds ridiculous" she took another large gulp of wine before looking over at me for a response.

I was speechless.

"Wow….I don't know what to say" I whispered.

"Its okay, really it is. I did some things that I'm not proud of either. I made some stupid choices when we were apart. I can never take back what I did and he can never find out" she told me.

"What did you do?" I asked her.

"I….I slept with somebody else" she mumbled.

Again with the speechless.

"Please don't judge me Bella, I don't think I could take it" she cried.

"Hey, no I'm not judging you. I understand you were hurt. I cant imagine what that did to you. Ok, your choices were wrong but you weren't thinking straight. Going out and screwing some random guy is actually pretty normal for girls our age" I joked. She didn't laugh.

"It wasn't a random guy Bella" she whispered.

I was about to ask her who it was when Jake and Paul bounded through the front door. It looked like they were sharing some sort of joke.

"Hey baby" Paul whispered as he kissed me on the cheek.

"Hey" I smiled.

They both looked down at Emily and then over at Jess.

"What's going on?" Jake asked.

"Nothing. They're fine. They'll be fine. Emily's just a little sad about Sam leaving on Sunday" I told them.

They both shrugged and walked back out into the back yard.

I looked down at Emily and she mouthed a thank you to me. I smiled and ruffled her hair before putting the wine back into the fridge.

…...

We had set up the food and drink at the beach while the pack had arranged the bonfire.

It was around eight o clock by the time everybody had arrived. The food had been swiped in about twenty minutes and the drinks were now truly flowing.

I had managed to convince Jess to clean herself up and attend the bonfire. I told her that she had nothing to be ashamed of and that she had every right to be there. She was still devastated. Hell, devastated wasn't even the word for what she was feeling. I had yet to find out from her what had happened, but since Emily had already told me I wasn't going to push her.

I had already swore to myself that I would be having a talk with Jared though. He hadn't yet turned up. I wondered if he'd even dare show his face. Unlike Sam, he had absolutely no reason for his eyes to wander. I'm not condoning what Sam did because it was still pretty awful, but I understood the situation.

To be ripped apart from the person you loved most in the world must be pure horror. I would never bring up the subject with him. It wasn't my place to interfere. Jess on the other hand was my best friend. She had done more for me than anybody. She took me in when I had no place to go. She listened to me drone on for days about Edward when he left. She held my hand in hospital when I had tried to end my life. We weren't friends, we were sisters. I wouldn't let anybody get away with hurting her. Wolf or no wolf, that asshole had still broken my best friends heart.

"Hey honey, you okay?" Paul asked me as he sat down beside me on the sand.

"Its been a tough day" I replied, tucking myself into his side.

"I know. Jared told me what happened"

"Asshole" I muttered.

"Asshole or no asshole, he's my best friend. I'm not taking sides, I'm Switzerland" he told me, holding his hands up in surrender.

"I get that, I do. I just don't understand why he did it. Did he tell you why?" I asked him.

"Not in so many words. I know that he's cut up about it. Like, crazy upset" he told me.

"He has no right to be upset. Do you know what I would do if I caught you in bed with another woman? I think I'd kill you" I said, standing up.

"I would never do that to you baby. You are my life. I belong to you, your it for me" he told me, taking my face in his hands.

"I know. I'm just so angry at him. She doesn't deserve this" I mumbled.

"That I can agree with" he replied, smiling at me.

I leant forward and brushed my lips against his.

"I'm gonna go get a drink and make sure she's okay. Wanna go for a swim later?" I asked, winking at him.

"Oh hell yeah" he replied, smiling me _that_ smile.

"See you later baby" I kissed him again and then turned towards the bonfire.

Jess was sat on her own on one of the logs, clutching a bottle of beer tightly. She was just staring at the flames.

"Hey" I whispered as I sat down beside her, pulling a beer out of the cooler.

"Hi"

"You know I can kick his ass if you want" I joked, nudging her lightly.

"I think the separation is kicking his ass as it is" she replied, still staring into the fire.

"Whenever your ready to talk about it, I'm here" I told her.

She just nodded and wiped away a couple more tears.

Paul POV

"Come on man, get up. You cant just sit here all day, you need to go talk to her!" I yelled down at Jared who was leaning against a tree trunk.

"I cant. I want to more than anything. My whole body is acheing to be near her but I cant. She told me to stay away and I have to do it. For her" he replied, looking like a complete mess might I add.

"You really think she means that? You need to see the state she's in Jared. She's inconsolable. She wont even talk to Bella, who by the way wants to kick your ass all the way to Japan" I told him.

"I don't care about that right now. I know I deserve it" he huffed.

"I just don't understand why or how man. Literally, how did you manage it. I think if I went near another woman my heart would beat out of my chest. And with her? She's got to be the worst thing you could ever have done. Just be thankful that its impossible for you to catch any diseases" I joked.

"I was wasted Paul. I have no idea what happened to me. Its like, it wasn't Lauren it was Jess. She was all I could see, and I guess I just lost my mind a little. It wasn't until she appeared in the doorway that I got my shit together" he told me.

"Your using again aren't you? Damnit Jared! I thought we'd all quit it together! This is exactly what happens when you get in deep with that shit!" I yelled at him.

I was pretty sure that the rest of the pack would be able to hear me now, but I didn't care. Jared needed to know what an idiot he had been, and I knew I was the only one that would be able to drum it into him.

"I know. God I miss her so much" he sobbed.

He looked so broken. Like a lost puppy that had just been kicked. I'd never seen him like this before.

"You wanna go home?" I asked him.

"No. I cant be at home. Ill still be able to smell her on my sheets. I cant smell her Paul, not right now" he cried.

"Jesus. Tell me what to do man. I don't know what to do" I urged.

"Just leave me be. Please" he begged.

"Okay, but if you need me just howl" I told him.

He just nodded as I turned back to the bonfire. Jared and I had been best friends since the beginning of junior high. It was tough for me to see him in the state and I had no idea how I could make it any better. I just prayed that I'd never end up in that position. If Bella ever told me to leave her I don't think Id want to survive. I was damn near invincible, but Id find a way to die. Hell, I'd run into an army of newborn vampires if I had to. I wouldn't be with my Bella.

As I walked back towards the beach I couldn't see Bella anywhere.

"Relax, she just took Jess home. She'll be back in a minute" I heard Jake call from beside me.

"Oh. Yeah. How is Jess? Any better?" I asked him.

"No. She's still not talking. Bella's getting really worried about her" Jake told me.

"All we can do is watch out for her. And Jared. I know he fucked up man, but he's devastated. I've never seen anybody in that state before dude. Even when Sam….Well, ya know?"

"Yeah, I know. Well I can stick close to him tonight if you want. Ill give him his space but Ill watch out or him from a distance" he offered.

"Yeah, that'd be great Jake. Thanks. You know when you find your imprint, it'll be the best moment of your life" I told him.

"I doubt it, but thanks man. See ya later" he yelled out as he ran towards the tree line.

…...

I was sat by the water when I felt her presence around me. I could sniff out my Bella from over a mile away. She always smelt delicious. Usually it was strawberrys with a hint of cinnamon, but it varied. Never the less, id always know it was her.

_The bottom the earth I have to fall_

_But you really caught me_

_You really caught me dear_

_At the bottom where I'd fallen_

"Hey baby" she whispered as she hugged my body from behind, stretching her legs out in front of her to allign them with mine.

"Hey. How is she?" I asked.

"Not good. Emily's watching over her for a couple of hours until I get back. God, why does all of this have to happen as your about to leave?" She huffed.

"I know honey, I'm gonna miss you so much" I told her, bringing her fingers up to my lips and kissing each tip lightly.

"Are you gonna be able to call me while your away?" she asked me.

"Honestly, I'm not sure baby. Sam and I will be in wolf form most of the time. Its easier to communicate without anyone being able to hear" I replied.

I heard a silent sob escape her.

_And slowly dear ask that you dance with me_

_Here with the shades down_

_Lights off_

"I'll try honey, I really will. I just don't want to get your hopes up but I promise that if I can, I will" I told her, burying my face in her neck.

I took a deep breath and inhaled her beautiful scent. I wanted to be able to remember as much of her as possible. I knew it would be impossible to forget anything about her anyway.

"Will you make love to me?" she whimpered.

I turned my body around to face hers and looked her straight in the eye.

"I wouldn't dream of doing anything less" I replied.

I watched her as she lay herself down on the sand. I pulled my tshirt over my head and tossed it to the side.

She looked like an angel spread out beneath me. Her hair was fanned out all around her and her cheeks were a deep shade of pink.

_When I didn't know you_

_And everything I do_

_Done badly_

"Your are so beautiful" I whispered into her ear as I ghosted my nose along her jaw line.

I took her earlobe inbetween my teeth and tugged on it gently. She let out a gentle moan as I sucked on her neck lightly.

I lifted her shirt up over her head and unclasped her bra. Her perfect pink nipples were already taut for me. I brought my mouth down on one of them and swirled my tongue around it slowly.

"Oh….yes" she moaned.

I pulled away from her breast and pulled her jeans off in one fell swoop. Her milky skin glistened in the moonlight.

"I don't think I can wait…" she purred.

_Now I'll love you always_

_Even when I say_

_You distract me_

"Me either baby, me either" I mumbled against her skin as I kissed her delicate tummy.

I positioned myself inbetween her legs and lined myself up with her delicious centre.

"I love you so much my Bella" I whispered as I slowly slid into her.

I felt her arch herself up against me as I began slowly thrusting into her. She felt like nothing else I'd even experienced.

_And sit out tonight in some strange place_

_If we have no friends here_

_Well I had few to begin with_

She met my every thrust with her hips. I fisted the hair at the nape of her neck and brought her lips up to meet mine, all the while still thrusting.

"Oh god…..Im gonna…..oh!" she purred.

I could feel my own fire burning as I slowly made my way to my climax. Her muscles were contracting around me. A few more deep thrusts and she would come undone.

We were no longer kissing but breathing into each other, mouths connected and lips parted.

_To wake next to you in the morning_

_And good morning to you_

_How do you do?_

_Hey, good morning to you_

_More covers for you_

_Sleep soundly dear cause I have to go_

"I'm coming….Oh….I love you…." she whispered.

Her muscled clamped down on me as she slowly rode out her orgasm. She looked like a goddess writhing around beneath me.

With one more deep thrust I exploded inside of her, biting down on her neck gently.

"I love you….I love you….I love you" she breathed into me.

I held her face in my hands as she shuddered with pleasure beneath me.

"I love you too my girl" I whispered to her, wiping her tears away.

"Why are you crying honey?" I asked her.

"I just love you so much. You are my whole world. Promise you'll come back to me?"

I took a deep breath before answering, wiping her hair away from her sweat ridden forehead.

"I promise. You're my everything. You're my girl" I told her.

_And I'll love you always_

_When we leave this place_

_And drive back to Carolina_

_And down to Savannah and say…_

"All of me, always" I heard her whisper as she fell into sleep beneath me.

…...

**Sorry I've taken so long to review! I've been crazy busy! **

**I hope you all enjoyed that chapter. **

**I should hopefully update again in the next couple of days. We shall see how fast my writing flows.**

**Please review and let me know what you thought.**

**xxxxxx**


	19. Goodbye, My Lover

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters and recognisable situations belong to the lovely Miss Stephanie Meyer.**

"_Why are you crying honey?" I asked her._

"_I just love you so much. You are my whole world. Promise you'll come back to me?" _

_I took a deep breath before answering, wiping her hair away from her sweat ridden forehead._

"_I promise. You're my everything. You're my girl" I told her._

"_All of me, always" I heard her whisper as she fell into sleep beneath me._

Paul POV

This was it. Sunday. Possibly the worst day of my life.

Bella and I had spent all day in bed with each other the day before. The only times we escaped the bedroom were to eat and take toilet breaks.

I knew the time was coming when I needed to say goodbye and it was killing me. Things between Jared and Jess weren't getting any better either.

Jess still wasn't talking. Bella had called to check up on her a bunch of times and she never answered. In the end, Bella ended up going back to her place to make sure she was okay. Thankfully, she was. I guess she just wasn't ready to talk to anybody yet.

I really needed the pack to be as strong as possible while Sam and I were gone, so I called Jacob to meet me at a bar in Port Angeles. I knew that if anybody would be there for Bella, he would.

So here I was. I ordered two bottles of beer and sat down at a booth in the corner.

"Hey man, sorry I'm late. I'm in between patrols right now" Jake explained as he sat down in front of me.

"Don't worry about it, dude" I replied, taking a swig of my beer.

I slid a bottle over to him, he grabbed it and nodded a thanks towards me. He took a large swig of it before speaking.

"So, what's up?" he asked.

"I need to talk to you about Bella. I need you to do something for me" I told him, fiddling with the label on my beer bottle.

"Ok. What do you need?"

"I need you to look after her. I need you to make sure she's okay when I'm gone. All the members of the pack know that there's a chance that one of us wont come back" I explained.

"I have faith in you and Sam. I know you'll get things done" he told me.

"That's what I'm hoping, but just in case something happens to me you have to promise me something"

He urged me on with a nod.

"I need you to promise me that you'll be there for her. Whenever she needs you, you have to promise me that you'll be there" I told him.

He just stared at me. I took another large swig of my beer and set it down on the table in front of me.

"You have to come back to her man. She'll fall apart without you!" he raised his voice at me slightly.

"No she wont, not if she has you. Please Jake, you're her best friend. You cant fool me. I know you love her"

"I….I don't know what your talking about" he stuttered.

"I don't care Jake, I know she wouldn't go there. I just need you to help her through it if anything happens to me. Sure, she'll have Jess and Emily, but they've both got their men"

"Sam might not come back. You could come back and he wont" he whispered.

"No. Ill protect my alpha with my life, that's the way it goes dude. You know that" I told him

Jake just sat across from me looking down the neck of his bottle. He said nothing.

"Please Jake, just promise me?" I pleaded.

"You know ill be there whenever she needs me and even if she doesn't want me to. I know you'll come back man. You have to. You both do" he replied.

I just finished my beer and said nothing.

Bella POV

Sunday.

It was fair to say that I was finding it heart-wrenchingly difficult to keep it together. Whenever I got the chance I would break out into sobs. I couldn't sleep the night before. I just wanted to lay there and watch him sleep. I wanted to remember every inch of his body.

I wanted to remember the way he pouted his lips when he slept. The way his chest heaved up and down slowly as he took a breath. How his fingers felt wrapped around mine. I needed to remember everything.

Every perfection. Every flaw. I needed this.

It was 5.30pm. Paul and Sam were heading out as soon as it was dark. The minutes were flying by and I was dreading the moment that I'd have to say goodbye.

We were all headed over to Sam and Emily's for dinner before they left. As much as I wanted to spend time alone with Paul, I understood that his brothers would want to see him too.

….

"Dinners up guys!" Emily hollered out of the front door.

We sat back in our seats, waiting for the stampede to follow. As predicted, the whole pack raced to the dinner table and grabbed their plates.

There wasn't enough room for everybody at the table, so most of the pack sat on the sofas to eat. The atmosphere was normal, you never would have guessed that it was a different day than any other.

As I looked around, my heart ached as I watched my family. Seth and Quil stealing food off of eat others plates as usual. Jake and Embry laughing at one another's jokes. Jared was slumped in the armchair over at the far side of the room.

To be honest, I was starting to feel a little bad for him. The physical effect it was having on him was blatant. The dark red circles around his eyes were a tell tale sign that he hadn't slept in days. I watched him play with his food. Unbelievably, he seemed to have lost his appetite.

I tried to convince Jess to come, but she refused. Emily and I had discussed her staying with us while Sam and Paul were away. She was in no state to be left alone. She was pretty much in the same state as Jared. I was still angry with him for what he'd done, but I figured that he had punished himself enough.

Of course, he wouldn't see Jess until she requested it. That in itself would be a problem. She still wanted nothing to do with him and she hadn't said a word in days.

I snapped out of my thoughts as Sam stood up to speak. All attention was focused on him.

"Okay guys, I feel like I should say something here. Paul and I will be leaving an hour from now as you all know. I just wanted to let you boys know how proud I am of what you've become. It is an honour to stand and fight beside you. I want you all to carry on as usual while we are gone. I have faith that nothing will get past you. You are all very close to my heart and you'll all be with us in spirit while we are gone"

By the looks of it, there wasn't a dry eye in the house.

"I'm coming with you"

We all stared at Jared with our mouths wide open.

"I said, I'm coming with you" he said again.

"Jared, no. Its not happening. I need you to stay here with the rest of the pack. Your one of the strongest Jared. I need you here" Sam explained.

"I want to come. I need to redeem myself. My actions lately have been disgusting. I need to come with you guys. I'm begging you. Please" he pleaded.

There was no sound. Everything was silent.

"If I say yes, do you promise to return if something may go wrong? If something happens here in La Push I need you to promise that you'll return at the drop of a hat" Sam asked.

"Sure thing man. Just let me come with you guys" he replied.

Sam looked over at Paul and he nodded.

"Alright man. You're coming, I suppose one more of us would be useful" Sam told him.

"Thank you" Jared said, before sitting down and continuing to play with his food.

Emily and I cleared everybody's plates and put all of the dishes into the dishwasher. Now there was nothing to do but wait for the sun to set.

"Honey, do you wanna take a walk with me?" Paul whispered into my ear.

"Of course" I replied.

We walked out of the house and down to the beach. We walked in silence for a while before we stopped to sit on a piece of driftwood by the water.

"I cant believe how much I'm gonna miss you" I whimpered.

He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I took in as much of his warmth as I could. It would seem like forever until I would feel it again.

"I know baby. You'll be in my thoughts every minute of every day" he told me, planting a sweet kiss on my shoulder.

"I'm so scared" I whispered, I couldn't help the tears falling from my eyes.

He kneeled down in front of my and took my face between his hands. I looked straight into his beautiful eyes as I let the warmth of his palms spread throughout my face.

"I've got something I want to give to you" he whispered softly.

I watched as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a red velvet, drawstring pouch.

"Words cannot begin to describe how much I love you Isabella. Before I met you, I was nothing. I was reckless and stupid, but the second you walked into my life everything changed. Even then when I didn't know you were my soul mate, I knew you were special. I know it may seem to you that I walked away from you that first time, but I want you to know that I wanted nothing more than to hold you in my arms and keep you safe"

I sobbed quietly at his sweet words.

"I left you and it kills me every time I think of it. I left you thinking that I didn't want you. It was the complete opposite, I wanted you so much that it terrified me. Then, when I saw you at the bonfire and looked into your eyes for the first time as a wolf, I saw my future with you. It scared the hell out of me. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to be the man that you needed, but you taught me how. You showed me what it was to love wholly and completely. You Bella, are the single most precious thing I've ever had"

He stopped for a moment and I noticed the tiny teardrops forming in the corner of his eyes. I smiled at him softly and wiped them away before they had the chance to fall.

"You'll never know how much its killing me to leave you. I can already feel the separation and I hate it. I want you to know that I'm yours forever. You're the only girl I'll ever want. You, Isabella, you saved my life"

I watched as he pulled the drawstring on the tiny velvet pouch. He tipped it upside down in his hands and I caught a glimpse of a silver band as it fell into his palm.

"Isabella Swan, you are perfect. You are beautiful, kind and feisty. You are argumentative, you frustrate me beyond belief and you light up every room. Neither of us are perfect, but you are perfect for me. I know that we can take on anything together and that's why I want to give you this" he told me, holding out the shiny band before me.

"I want to be able to spend my whole life showing you how much I love you. So I ask you now honey, will you be my wife, my confidante and my best friend? Forever?"

I was speechless. There were no words. He wanted me to be his, forever.

"Oh my god" I whispered.

I looked back into his eyes and saw every ounce of love he had for me right there, with one look.

"Yes. Of course. Ill always be yours" I smiled. Probably the first genuine smile so far that day.

I held my hand out to him as he slipped the ring onto my finger. It was breathtaking. It was white gold with a small, light blue teardrop diamond set in the middle. Either side of the diamond were three tiny clear crystals. Very simple, but very beautiful.

"Its stunning" I whispered.

"It belonged to my grandmother. She gave it to me before she died. She wanted me to give it to the woman I was going to spend my life with. I'm so lucky that I found her" he told me.

I couldn't hold it any longer. I needed to kiss him.

I jumped into his arms and crashed my lips down to his. He captured my mouth with his and we poured everything we had into that sweet kiss.

He stood up and pulled me up with him. I jumped into him and wrapped my legs around his waist.

"I've never swam with you and I want to do it before I go" he whispered against my mouth.

I nodded as I continued to kiss him. He walked us into the water slowly. We were both fully clothed but I really don't think either of us cared.

I felt the waves crash against my back as the chill ran through my body. The cold was completely outbalanced by the heat that was radiating from my lover.

He stood still as the water reached his chest. I leant back into the water and wet my hair all the way through.

"You have never looked more beautiful than you do now" he whispered.

I blushed as his words and he kissed both of my cheeks lightly.

"Never forget me" he mumbled as he kissed the bite mark on my neck.

"Never" I whimpered as the tears fell from my eyes.

….

Paul POV

I knew it was sort of selfish to propose to Bella. I knew that there was a chance I wouldn't be able to marry her. I knew that there was a chance that when I left, I'd never see her again but I had to show her how much I cared about her. How much I loved her.

When my grandmother gave me her ring, I promised her that I would give it to the love of my life. I needed to fulfil that promise. I needed Bella to know that no matter what happened, I always intended to spend the rest of my life with her.

The sun was setting and we were about to leave. Sam had been in his and Emily's bedroom saying his goodbyes. He was able to be a little more frank about the situation with Emily. She had more experience in dealing with these things than Bella. I knew that Emily would know that there was a chance she wouldn't see her lover again.

I felt a tiny hand on my shoulder as I turned around to say my goodbyes to the rest of the pack.

I pulled each and everyone of them in for a bone crushing hug. They knew too. They were my brothers, they always knew.

Jake was the last of them. I pulled him in and squeezed him hard.

"Remember what you promised, Jake? Take care of her. Protect her with your life" I whispered into his ear.

I felt him nod against my shoulder.

I pulled away and walked over to stand beside Bella.

"Okay. Paul, Jared are you both ready to leave?" Sam asked us.

"Jared, don't you want to say goodbye to Jessica?" I asked him.

I knew that he knew what I meant. She would never forgive him if she didn't have her chance to say goodbye. It would kill her if anything happened to him anyway, but if he left without saying goodbye, she'd crumble completely.

"She doesn't want me anymore" he whispered.

He walked slowly over to Bella and stood before her.

"Please, give her this. I never meant to hurt her Bella, I swear. I love her more than I ever thought was possible" he pleaded, handing her a white envelope.

"Oh Jared. Of course I'll give it to her. Emily and I will take care of her" she told him, pulling him in for a hug.

"Okay, well the suns gone down. Its time" Sam said.

I turned to face my angel and brushed her cheek lightly with my fingers. I saw the tears filling her eyes.

"I love you. Just remember that, okay? No matter what, I'll always love you" I whispered.

She nodded before crashing her body against mine.

"Please….come….back" she sobbed.

"Oh honey. Ill miss you so much. You're my angel" I told her, pulling away from the hug.

"Okay" she whimpered.

"When I get back, I'm gonna marry you" I smiled.

"You bet your ass you are!" she replied, laughing that sweet laugh.

I pulled her in for one final kiss before walking her over to stand with Emily.

"Take care of each other okay?" I said.

Emily nodded and smiled at me.

"Okay" I muttered before going over to stand next to Sam and Jared.

"We'll be in touch whenever we can. We don't know if we'll still be able to communicate with you when we're so far away, but listen out for us. Take care of each other, all of you" Sam spoke.

Sam looked at me and then over at Jared. We both nodded.

I took one final look at my Bella before turning around and leaping into the air.

My paws hit the ground and I kept on running.

I knew that if I looked back, the sight would rip my heart out.

_I love you, Bella. Always._

…...

**Oh my lord. Pass me the tissues!**

**That was really hard to write.**

**I really hope that I did this chapter justice. It took me about five days to write it. **

**Please review and let me know what you all think. For those of you that have left longer, detailed reviews I thank you. Of course I thank all of you anyway! I wouldn't be able to continue this story without your support!**

**Especially feebes86, an anonymous reviewer under the name ILOVEYOU (I love you too!) and Pegasus12654.**

**Any review is a good review, but the detailed ones let me know exactly what you liked and what you didn't like. **

**Thank you all so much for reading!**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**


	20. Brave

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

**There will be a lot of POV changes in this chapter. I really wanted to get across how everybody is feeling. **

**This will also be really short. I don't want to drag out a 3,000 word chapter filled with peoples emotions. I don't want to risk repeating myself. **

**I hope you'll forgive and continue to review as you always do.**

**Enjoy!**

"_We'll be in touch whenever we can. We don't know if we'll still be able to communicate with you when we're so far away, but listen out for us. Take care of each other, all of you" Sam spoke. _

_Sam looked at me and then over at Jared. We both nodded._

_I took one final look at my Bella before turning around and leaping into the air. _

_My paws hit the ground and I kept on running. _

_I knew that if I looked back, the sight would rip my heart out._

_I love you, Bella. Always._

Bella POV

I watched him disappear through the trees. I watched as my heart got carried away by my wolf.

I cant even begin to explain the emotions I was going through at that moment.

Anger. Heartbreak. Loss. Love. Hate.

How would I survive this without him?

He was my reason for living. My only reason. He was the one that changed my life, he made me a better person.

Whether he was gone for two weeks or two years, I would suffer tremendously without him.

He made this world wonderful. Our love was a miracle.

I fell to my knees and gripped my hair between my fingers.

That's when I heard it.

Three agonising howls in the distance.

That's when the tears came.

It had taken all my efforts not to fall apart in front of him, but I was done hiding.

I let out my own howl. My own agonising cry. I was certain that he'd hear it.

I felt two warms arms pick me up off the ground. I closed my eyes and imagined they were his.

He was my life, my love and my best friend. And no matter how long it took, I would wait for him to come back to me.

He would come back to me, he had to.

It was then that everything went black.

Jacob POV

Standing there watching Bella cry was breaking my heart.

There was nothing I could do to ease the pain that she was going through, so I did the only thing I knew.

I took hold of her and swept her up into my arms. I held her as close as I could. She was sobbing uncontrollably for a good few minutes before she fell asleep in my arms.

I carried her into the house and laid her down on the couch, covering her up with a blanket.

Paul had given it to me to give to her if she ever got lonely. There was no better time to give it to her than now.

There were a few things that he had given me to give to her when times got rough.

I would honour my word and stand by her every step of the way.

Of course my own feelings weren't helping matters. I had to hold back the urge to wrap my arms around her and hold her close while she slept. That wasn't what she needed.

She needed her best friend. _Friend. _I had to remember that that's what we were, friends. That was all we'd ever be.

Sometimes I ached to meet my imprint so that I could be done with these feelings I had for Bella.

I knew it was selfish and it would never be fair to tell her how I felt. Especially not now.

I had to take care of her. Of all three of them. Emily could hold it together, I knew that, but there would come a time when she would need somebody and as Sam's beta that would be my job.

Then there was Jessica. I knew that the best person to tell her would be Bella. She would be devastated.

What could I do?

All I could do was be there. For everyone.

Emily POV

Being the imprint of an alpha wasn't easy. It was damn near impossible to keep it together, but I would.

I had to be strong.

It would do no good to cry.

I had to be the one to keep things together.

Sure we had Jacob, but when he patrolled who would be there then? Me.

I would carry on as normal. I would cook, clean and listen.

Bella and Jess would need me more than ever and I had to be there.

Sure, at night when I would lay down in my empty bed I would cry. When I was alone I would break, but in front of anybody else I would be Emily. Helpful and courageous.

That was what being an alphas imprint meant. Being strong and taking care of everybody around me.

And only when my wolf came back to me, would I rest.

Paul POV

I could feel the hole in my heart getting larger as I ran further and further away from her.

Hearing her cry was gut wrenching.

I knew then that there was no way I wouldn't come back to her.

I would fight with every ounce of strength I had in my body. And that was a hell of a lot.

Whenever things got tough I would picture her beautiful face in my head.

The way her hair fell perfectly over her shoulders. The way her eyes would light up as I walked into the room. The way her sweet kisses would make my heart soar.

I would return and I would marry her. I would make her mine for all eternity.

We would have perfect children and we would grow old together.

That's what I had promised her.

I promised her that I would come back to her and that's what I would do. Its all I could do.

Every time I was losing hope, I would remember the only reason I had it in the first place.

Sam POV

I had done this many times before but it never got any easier.

I was the first to phase in La Push, and for the first few months I was the only one to protect my people.

I would venture out on my own to destroy any potential threat.

Only when I met Emily did I truly feel the pain of leaving.

Leaving your imprint wasn't something you would ever get used to. Hell, it wasn't even something you were supposed to do, but what's a guy to do when he's alpha of a pack of wolves?

I was immensely proud of my Emily. She was a tough one and I knew that she would hold it together for me.

I had been totally honest with Emily, there was no way I couldn't be.

I had told her that there was a chance I wouldn't return. There were always risks. Even more so when every instinct in your body was telling you to protect your pack.

They were my boys and I would always have their back.

The love I had for my imprint grew stronger and stronger the further away I got.

I had always guessed that it was my inner wolf reminding me that I had something to come back for.

Now I realise that it wasn't that at all.

My heart was swelling larger and larger with every beat of my heart for my Emily.

She wasn't my imprint. She was my reason for living, fighting and breathing.

Jared POV

Jessica.

Beautiful. Sweet. Kind.

My girl.

I was a coward and she deserved better than me. I had sworn that I wouldn't let her down, that I would never do anything to hurt her.

I laughed when Paul first told me that he'd imprinted.

'_Who could possibly change Paul Meraz?' _I remember thinking.

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I'd meet _that_ girl. The girl that would complete me. I never anticipated just how perfect we would fit together.

The way our lips meshed together. The way our fingers entwined. The way her body would fit perfectly in my arms.

'_Go away and don't come back'_

Those words ripped my heart out. I could literally feel my heart breaking with every breath that she took.

She deserved somebody that would love her wholly. And I did. I loved her with every ounce of my being. I had lost her trust in the most stupid way and I would prove to her that I was the man that she was meant to be with.

I would fight beside my brothers and I would prove myself.

As a wolf. As a man.

I would come back to her and I would show her just how much she meant to me.

Whether it would take me months or years, I would prove to her that she was my everything.

Jessica POV

I never thought it was possible to miss somebody this much.

He had betrayed me in the worse way possible. When I walked in on them together I felt like somebody had punched a hole right through me.

_Her._

Lauren Malloy. My childhood friend.

She was the lowest of the low, and now, so was he.

Now, after days without his presence did I regret my words.

I didn't want to be apart from him any longer. He could've killed a litter of puppies for all I cared, I just wanted to be back in his arms.

There was no feeling in this world that would ever match up to that.

For somebody who completely dismissed the idea of soul mates, I was in pretty deep. I suppose there was no way I couldn't be. We were connected. Every time I took a breath, I breathed for him. Every time my heart would beat, it would beat for him.

Forever. That's what we were. So why should I let this stop us?

He would pay, I would make sure of that and one day so would she.

But right now the only thing that was on my mind was finding my wolf. I needed him. He needed me.

It wouldn't be easy but we would be together. I wouldn't let _her_ destroy something so strong, so powerful.

I would stay strong for my man. For Bella. For Emily.

Now more than ever would they need me. I knew that they would do the same for me if Jared ever left.

I just had to hope and pray that it would never happen.

Being apart from his out of choice was one thing, but being apart from him whether I liked it or not….

Well that was something I just couldn't bear thinking about.

**Remember that Jess has no idea that Jared has gone with them…..**

**So, I know that was short but I really didn't think it would suit going back into the story properly in this chapter. I hope you get that?**

**The next chapter I promise that we'll dive straight back in.**

**I just felt that this would be the best way to experience everybody's emotions. **

**I hope I didn't disappoint you : ( **

**Please review and let me know what you thought. This is the most nervous I've ever been about posting a chapter.**

**Thanks for reading **

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	21. Wicked Game

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. But I damn well wish I owned Paul! Yum yum….**

**Thank you all so much for your wonderful reviews. You guys really make me feel good : )**

**Oh and by the way, Bella just so happens to have quit her job. I just don't feel like she'd go into work at a time like this. Sorry I couldn't slot it in. To be honest it completely slipped my mind that she even had one with all this drama going on!**

**Enjoy! **

_Now more than ever would they need me. I knew that they would do the same for me if Jared ever left. _

_I just had to hope and pray that it would never happen._

_Being apart from his out of choice was one thing, but being apart from him whether I liked it or not…._

_Well that was something I just couldn't bear thinking about…._

Bella POV

When I awoke later that night all I could smell was Paul.

I brought that oh so familiar blanket up to my nose and inhaled deep.

He smelt like fresh grass and pine cones.

Not the typical guy fragrance but it was beautiful. I pulled it away from my face immediately, dreading the moment that the odour would disappear.

"Hey Bells… Can I get you anything?" I heard Jake whisper.

I sat up slowly to find him sleeping right next to me on the wooden floor. It was a small relief to know that I still had my best friend by my side to help me through this.

"Don't worry. Go back to sleep, I'm just gonna get a drink" I whispered back, not wanting to wake anyone else.

I didn't know who was here other than Emily and Jake. It didn't look like there was anyone at all.

I stood up slowly and tiptoed my way into the kitchen. I took a glass out of the cupboard and poured myself some water.

My forehead was drenched in sweat so I decided to grab some fresh air. I took my cigarettes out of my bag and made my way out on to the front porch.

The cold air hit me like a tonne of bricks but boy, did it feel good.

I sat myself down of the steps and lit up a cigarette. I inhaled deeply and blew the smoke up into the air above me.

I had a feeling I'd be smoking a lot while Paul was away. They were bad for you yeah, but could things really get much worse?

As I sat there, I could hear a rustling in the bushes next to the house.

My heart beat quickened instantly. Who's wouldn't? Your boyfriends just left on a mission to destroy some bloodsuckers and suddenly there's weird activity outside the house your staying in? Scared much?

Although I knew that if it was a leech, Jake would have sensed it by now. Asleep or not, his senses were on point.

"Hello?" I whispered.

More rustling.

"I swear to god if you don't come out I'll call the wolves!" I spoke a little louder. God I sounded pathetic, right?

"Bella!"

"Christ on a cross Jess! You scared the crap outta me!" I yelled.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to freak you out!" she replied, sitting beside me on the doorstep.

Shit. Did she already know? Did I sleep through her being told? Shit.

"How're you holding up?" She asked me, slipping an arm around my shoulder.

"Okay, I guess. I've just gotta wait for him to come back now" I whimpered.

"Well, I guess that's why you quit work huh? Don't worry, I've been told that your job will be waiting for you whenever your ready to go back" she told me, giving me a gentle nudge in the ribs.

"That's good. I really don't deserve it. I've fucked them around so much since all of this crap started…" I trailed off.

We sat there in silence while I finished off my cigarette.

"You coming inside? I don't think I can go back to sleep" I asked her.

"Yeah sure. I'm gonna wait for Jared to get back from patrol anyway"

I swear my heart stopped right there. Of course she didn't know. Of course everybody expected me to be the one to tell her. Double shit.

My mouth had suddenly sewn itself shut. I needed Jake.

We walked back into the house. Jess sat herself down at the kitchen table while I attempted to wake Jake up. Sure his senses were impeccable when it came to vampires, but when I tried to wake him up he was dead to the world.

"Jake!" I whispered harshly, shaking his upper body.

He stirred a little and threw his arm over his face. Oh no, boy was definitely gonna wake up whether he liked it or not. He asked me if I needed anything, and hell yeah I did!

"Wake the fuck up Jake!" I whispered a little louder.

His eyes flew open and he bolted upright, almost knocking me over.

"I'm up….What do you need?" he asked groggily.

I nodded my head over to Jess who was playing with her hair at the table.

"Oh right….Okay. I got you, come on lets tell her together" he offered, standing up.

We walked into the kitchen and Jake sat down in the chair opposite Jess. I grabbed a couple of glasses out of the cupboard and the bottle of tequila that I'd aquired from Paul's house before I left.

"Hey Jake" I heard Jess whisper.

He nodded at her but kept his eyes to the ground. I knew he was just as nervous about this as I was.

"So, do you know when Jared will be back from patrol?" She asked.

"Um…about that…Jess there's something I gotta tell you" I mumbled.

"What's that?" she asked, sounding a little unnerved.

"Well…you see the thing is….Jareds gone" I blurted.

In an instant she'd gone from tanned to white as a sheet.

"What do you mean he's gone? Gone where?" She asked frantically.

"He's gone with Paul and Sam" Jake cut in.

I mouthed a thank you at him. He knew how hard this would be for me.

"What? When did he decide….Why?" she cried.

"He decided this afternoon. He wanted to redeem his actions. He really feels like shit, Jess" Jake explained.

She jumped up from her chair and started to pace the kitchen forcefully.

"He felt like shit? HE FELT LIKE SHIT? SO HE JUST THOUGHT HE'D LEAVE ME HERE WITHOUT EVEN SO MUCH AS A GOODBYE?" She yelled.

"Jess, he was so torn. You told him to leave you alone. He had to listen to you. He couldn't come and see you, he literally couldn't. He was just trying to do what you told him to" Jake told her.

"Oh, so this is my fault? I told him to go away and now this is all _MY_ fault?" She wailed.

"No Jess, no ones saying its your fault. Come on, sit down?" I urged.

"He didn't even say goodbye. He could get killed and he didn't even try…" she was babbling incoherently at this point.

I felt around in my pocket for the envelope Jared had given me before they left and pulled it out.

"He left you this…" I whispered gently.

Her head snapped up and looked towards the envelope.

"You want me to read it out to you?" I asked her.

She slumped down in her chair and nodded.

"You're sure? It might have private stuff in there…"

"Just read the damn letter" she blasted.

I wouldn't take her attitude to heart. I couldn't imagine how I'd feel if Paul had just upped and left me without a goodbye.

I looked over at Jake and he stood up, walking outside. I knew he'd feel uncomfortable listening to this.

"Okay…You ready?" I asked, carefully opening the envelope.

She just nodded and poured two large glasses of tequila, hers marginally bigger than mine.

I pulled the note out and unfolded it in my hands. As I did, I felt something fall into my lap.

I looked down and found a beautiful silver chain with a small pendant dangling down. A grey wolf. Jared's colour.

I lifted it up with my fingertips and placed it out in front of me on the table. She didn't look up.

"_My sweet Jessica,_

_I'm so sorry. I promised I'd never hurt you, and I've failed. I couldn't even begin to tell you how much I regret it. I'm so sorry I couldn't say goodbye to you. I'm just trying to do what you asked. I'm just trying to do the right thing. For once. I feel like I've let everybody down and I need to gain some respect back from my brothers._

_I will miss you more than you'll ever begin to understand. You're my life and I hope that when I come home you'll be there waiting for me. _

_If you truly don't want me anymore, I'll stay away. If you really don't want to see me anymore, I won't bother you. _

_If that is the case, I hope you'll find happiness one day. I'm begging that you wait for me. I will make it up to you and I'd spend the rest of my life trying. _

_You, Bella and Emily need to stick together. _

_I don't know when I'll be back but fighting beside my brothers will be an honour. _

_I'll always be yours baby and I always have been. _

_I hope you'll be there to come back to._

_My love for you is like the stars. You may not always be able to see it, but it'll always be there shining down on you._

_Your man. Your wolf. Forever, if you'll take me?_

_Jared_

_Xx"_

The tears were streaming down my face, so I couldn't even imagine how Jess was feeling. I folded the paper and pushed it across the table to her.

"Oh god, I love him so much" she sobbed.

I leapt up out of my chair and cradled her in my arms. I picked up the necklace and laced it around her neck. She reached out and held onto the pendant so tightly.

"Ssh sweetie. He loves you" I whispered against her hair.

I heard Jake tiptoeing back into the house. I made eye contact with him and shot him a gentle smile.

I decided that the best thing for Jess would be sleep. So I carried her down the hall to the bedroom that I would be occupying while I was here. I pulled back the covers as she stepped in all the while still clinging to the necklace. I tucked the covers in around her, kissed her on the head and turned out the light.

"You okay Bells?" Jake asked from the bathroom doorway.

"I guess. She's so cut up right now, she just needs to rest. I don't know the last time she slept properly" I told him.

"Come on, you need to sleep" he whispered, draping his arm over my shoulders and marching me back to the sofa.

"Its hard to get comfortable without him" I groaned.

"Go sit down. I've got something for you"

I did as I was told and sat down on the couch. I watched him curiously as he dived behind the back of the sofa and came back up clutching what looked like a jumper.

"Paul gave me this to give to you. For you know, when you couldn't sleep" he muttered.

I practically snatched the hoodie out of his hands and pulled it over my head instantly. This was Paul's favourite item of clothing. It matched his light grey sweats. He always told me that he hated wearing sweaters, but if he ever had to it was always this one.

The best part was obviously the smell. _Fresh grass and pinecones. _

I felt my eyelids flutter as soon as my head hit the pillow. He was surrounding me and in my head he was here.

Paul's POV

It had been two days since we'd left La Push and still nothing. We'd crossed the Canadian border a few hours ago but we still weren't picking up a scent.

_Sam, I cant smell a thing man. What's the plan? _I heard Jared ask.

_We just keep looking. That's all we can do. We cant let these leeches carry on with what they're doing. Its our job to stop them _

I was exhausted. We hadn't eaten in around twelve hours and we hadn't rested at all. We were so fucking eager to find these bastards that we hadn't even thought of stopping.

_We need to rest Sam. I know your tired. _

I felt him stop beside me and hang his head in exhaustion.

_Okay. One of us needs to stay awake at all times, so we'll take shifts. Ill go first while you and Jared get a couple of hours rest. _

_Yes boss._

I curled up beneath a large oak tree and closed my eyes. I was asleep within seconds. All I hoped was that I dreamt of Bella.

_Paul! Damnit Paul wake up! _

My eyes shot open in an instant. I found Jared and Sam looking down their snouts at me.

_Its them. I can smell them. Come on._

I leapt to my feet and began to follow Sam, as fast as my paws would carry me.

The stench was getting stronger and stronger.

_Their so close. I can feel it._ Jared, always the optimistic one.

We continued to fly through the forest, as fast as lightning, if not faster.

That sickly stench of bleach getting even more overbearing. Just a couple more minutes.

_Jared, Paul, keep your wits about you. It could be a trap. _

We dodged the trees and kept running. Every instinct inside of me was screaming at me to destroy.

Suddenly, Sam came to a startling halt. I pushed my front paws out in front of me and came to an abrupt, albeit late, stop.

_Oh my god. _

It took me a moment to realise what had Sam panicked. As I looked around me I saw the entrance to a dark cave. All around the frame of the opening were rotting bodies. So many of them. All unclothed and beaten to death. I felt physically sick. I'd never seen anything so gruesome.

_What the fuck? What the hell are we gonna do Sam?_

_We're going in._

I didn't like the idea, but he was the boss. I'd stand by any decision he made.

We edged closer and closer to the entrance. The stench of rotting corpses and leeches was almost too much for my senses to handle.

_Just keep your eyes open, both of you._

I could tell that Sam was just as wary as Jared and I. I wasn't about to lie. I was feeling pretty terrified.

Whoever or whatever did this was insane.

"Well, its about damn time!" I heard a voice shout.

We stopped dead in our tracks and tried to focus on where the voice had come from. It was no use. It was pitch black in here, even for our eyesight.

"You know, I've been waiting for you for a long time. It took you long enough!"

It was the voice of a woman. Her voice was surprisingly gentle.

"I know you cant talk back mutts. Just be aware that you are surrounded and there's no way you'll get out of this alive if you struggle" she chuckled to herself.

_Shit Sam, where the hell are they? Am I the only one that's a little worried here?_

_I don't know Jared, just stay focused. We need to find out what the hell she wants._

"I know your wondering why we led you here? And that will come in due time. Now, alpha, phase. It wont do well for you to sit there whimpering like a dog" she huffed.

_No Sam! Its too dangerous!_

_Paul, I cant find out what they want if I don't phase. As I said, just stay alert._

Then his thoughts left my mind.

"Very impressive, I see why you're the alpha" she giggled.

_Oh man, I just want to rip this chick apart Jared!_

"The least you can do is show yourself woman" Sam spoke.

"Ah of course, where are my manners. Riley! Light them up!" she yelled.

All of a sudden I was blinded by the light of a few dozen torches. It took me a few moments to regain my sight properly.

_Holy shit. There's about sixty of them! They're everywhere Paul!_

I looked forward towards the source of the voice. There she stood. Her long, curly red hair flowing down her back. Her white as snow skin shining against the light of the fires. She was by no means attractive, not to me at least.

As I looked around I saw them. Dozens and dozens of leeches. All standing in a protective stance, fangs bared. Their blood red eyes boring into all three of us.

"Well? Enough with the pleasantries. What the hell do you want? You've obviously led us here for a reason. Spill it" Sam spat.

"Oh dear, I know dogs don't have manners but there's no need to be so rude. Quite frankly, I'm surprised that you didn't come sooner. After one of your bitches found that girls body I was sure you'd be hot on our tail" she smirked.

I let out an involuntary growl at the mention of my Bella. She picked up on it and stared over Sam's shoulder. She smiled. She fucking smiled.

"Ah I see. You brought him? I knew you would"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Sam yelled.

"You honestly haven't figured it out?" She chuckled again.

"I'm sorry, you'll have to enlighten me" he urged, clearly getting a little tired of her games.

"A life for a life my dear" she whispered coldly.

"Your gonna have to give me more than that" he growled.

_Dude, I really don't like the sound of this. This chicks crazy Paul!_

"Are you aware what happens when a vampire mates with another, pup?" she asked, an eerie calm to her tone.

"To be honest, I really don't want to listen to you reminisce about old boyfriends" Sam replied.

"HE WAS NOT MY BOYFRIEND! HE WAS MY LOVE! THE ONLY LOVE I COULD EVER KNOW!" She howled.

Her screeching voice pierced my ears and I winced.

"Sorry if I don't give a damn and I really have no idea what your talking about"

_Damn, Sam's really holding his own out there man._

"I take it you've heard of the Cullen's, am I right?" She asked.

A low growl escaped my mouth.

"Ah, I knew you would have dog" she laughed, looking over Sam's shoulder once again at me.

_She seems to know an awful lot about you, Paul._

"Yes, we know of the Cullen's" Sam spat abruptly.

"Well, I wont dilly dally around things. I'll get straight to the point. The Cullen with the human mate, he tore my James' body to pieces and I watched as he burned to ashes before me" she said calmly. Too calmly.

"Go on" Sam urged.

"When a vampire loses that mate, it is their duty to avenge the death. I have been biding my time for a while now, trying to think of the perfect way. It was only a few weeks ago that I returned to that dingy town expecting to find the Cullen's there, but they weren't. They had left their precious pet behind" she laughed.

The anger boiling up inside of me was unbearable. I so desperately wanted to rip this woman to pieces, but I couldn't. I wouldn't risk my brothers lives like that.

"It seems that Miss Swan has taken up a relationship with one of your pups. I've been reading up on your ways. Imprinting, isn't it?" She asked curiously.

"What of it?"

"Well, its not all that different to Vampire mating is it? I'm sure that if someone was to harm your Emily you would tear whoever did it apart, am I right?" She taunted.

"DO NOT SPEAK OF HER!" Sam roared and for the first time she actually flinched a little.

"I'd stay calm if I were you dog! You don't stand a chance in here!" she screeched.

"Anyway, where was I? Ah, yes. Imprinting. As little Miss Swan is no longer with that Cullen boy, there's no reason for me to harm him. That wouldn't affect her in the slightest. I want that bitch to feel the pain of heartbreak" she laughed.

_Man, I really don't like where this is going…._

"She's no longer with him, there's no reason to pursue this" Sam stated.

"Oh but your wrong. Why do you think I brought you here?" she cackled.

The sound of her sickly sweet laughed had the rest of those leeches chuckling along with her. This was getting worse by the minute.

"What do you want from us?" Sam asked.

"Oh darling, do you really have to ask?"

"Yes, I'm afraid I do" Sam urged again.

"I want her to die of a broken heart. I want her world to crumble around her. I want her to tear herself apart"

She started to slowly glide towards Jared and I. I braced myself and let a low growl escape my mouth. I was pretty sure if she came any closer I'd snap.

She placed her hand on Sam's bare shoulder and dug her nails roughly into him, breaking the skin in an instant. He didn't make a sound, but I could see the muscles in his back convulsing due to the pain.

She chuckled lightly and stared straight into my eyes.

"I want you"

_Holy Fuck. _

**Oh god, how did I do?**

**I'm getting even more nervous with every chapter.**

**Please read and review. I'd love to know what you all thought.**

**I hope you enjoyed reading.**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxx**


	22. Fire & Ice

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. All belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I know, it sucks right?**

…**..**

_She started to slowly glide towards Jared and I. I braced myself and let a low growl escape my mouth. I was pretty sure if she came any closer I'd snap._

_She placed her hand on Sam's bare shoulder and dug her nails roughly into him, breaking the skin in an instant. He didn't make a sound, but I could see the muscles in his back convulsing due to the pain._

_She chuckled lightly and stared straight into my eyes. _

"_I want you" _

_Holy Fuck. _

…_..._

Paul POV

_You have got to be kidding me Paul._

"That's out of the question" Sam snapped.

The only thing I heard was a gut wrenching cry slip from my alphas mouth as that bitch ripped a chunk out of his shoulder.

"You will give yourself up dog, or all three of you will perish" she threatened.

I knew that I couldn't allow my brothers to die because of me, but could I really consider giving myself up. Really? How could I just give up? One thing was certain. I wouldn't watch them die helplessly.

_DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, PAUL!_

_Think about this seriously Jared! Do you really see us getting out of here alive if we fight?_

His mind went blank.

"I wont allow you to take your revenge out on my brother. He had no part in the killing of your mate, and his mate had absolutely no clue of the true nature of the Cullen's" Sam panted.

I watched as she turned on her heel, flipping her hair over her shoulders. She walked back towards the far wall of the cave and leant up against it.

"That means nothing to me Alpha boy. The fact is, it is because of her that my mate is dead. If her scent hadn't been so damn appealing to him then he never would have pursued her. If he hadn't pursued her, he wouldn't have been torn apart by that bastard!" She wailed.

I swear this chicks voice was so high pitched that she could crack glass with it.

"If you wouldn't mind, I would like to consult with my brothers" He requested.

"Fine, but don't even think of trying anything. You wont stand a chance" she chuckled.

I heard Sam huff before phasing back.

_I'm stumped guys. I don't know what to do. I'm the fucking alpha and I have no idea how we're gonna get out of here. One thing I do know is that your not giving yourself up to that bitch._

_I wont lie to you bro I'm fucking terrified, but I cant see any other way. I wont sit back and let you die knowing that I could have saved you! _

I felt Sam's mind racing at that moment. He was desperately trying to come up with a plan, but there was nothing. We were surrounded by leeches. Sure we were strong, but we had no hope of defeating them. She'd been planning this for what seemed like months. All of the disappearances around the Seattle area were now making sense. She was building an army.

"Oh and one more thing" She giggled.

All three of our heads shot up to look in her direction. She was sat there painting her nails. _Painting her fucking nails! _

"One tiny piece of information I may have forgotten to mention. There are around sixty to seventy of us alone here in this cave, but make no mistake there are more. A couple of hundred at least, so just think on to what would happen if I was forced to kill all of you. I'm sure your bitches are all huddled around in one place, terrified for your safety" Her tone was chilling.

I bared my teeth at her as a growl rumbled from within me.

"I wasn't finished dog! Don't interrupt! Anyway, picture this in your mind. If you deny me what I want, all three of you will die in this cave. I am aware that I have captured the three strongest of your pack and without you three, I could pick the rest of you off easily. So I ask you, would you really want to impose certain death on the rest of them? I can have the rest of my army on your territory within a day. You have no way of warning anybody. They'll be completely unprepared and make no mistake, I will have your ladies picked off first" She cackled.

_No._

_Paul, don't even think of it! _

_No Paul! I wont let you do this!_

_Put yourself in my position. Would you really sit back and let Emily, Bella and Jess die? The pack? Our family? Think clearly Sam, if just for one second._

No response from either of them.

_That's what I thought._

"What's taking so damn long? I've been patient for weeks now. Riley! You know what to do!" She wailed.

Everything went black.

Bella POV

Ten days.

Ten days, thirteen hours and six minutes.

That's how long I'd been without him. The hole in my chest was getting wider every day.

The rest of the pack still hadn't heard anything of them and I was starting to worry. It was so hard to keep up this stupid façade that everything was going to be fine.

Sleep was coming to me less and less. The past three nights found me laying in the yard staring up at the sky above me. I tried to convince myself that he was looking up at the very same moon as I. It was the only thing that brought me any comfort. Well, other than the sweater that I had refused to take off. I would wake up, shower and then slip it back on. The scent was wavering and I knew that soon enough it wouldn't be there anymore.

Jess was still devastated. She couldn't comprehend why Jared had upped and left. It was becoming more and more difficult to put on a brave face for her.

I knew that they'd be gone for a while. Two weeks was the minimum we were given by Sam.

Emily had been busying herself cooking for the pack and cleaning. Doing odd jobs here and there. I had come to know that one of Emily's coping mechanisms was baking. The kitchen was literally rammed full of cakes, cookies and breads. Of course the rest of the pack couldn't complain, but I could see that they were losing their appetites slightly. I knew that were worried. They expected to have heard something by now, even if it was just a howl to let them know that everything was under control.

I don't know why, but some part of me knew that things weren't under control. I had this aching in my heart that wouldn't waver. I couldn't figure out what the cause was. Was it the longing? Or was it something far worse?

"Hey Bells" Jake spoke softly, setting himself down next to me.

He would come out and lay with me. He wouldn't speak unless I did. I guess he just wanted me to know that he was there if I needed him.

"Something's wrong Jake" I whispered.

"You don't know that Bella. If they've crossed the Canadian border, we have no way of contacting them" he told me.

"I'm so scared Jake" I whimpered.

He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me over to lay against him.

"Bella, I don't want to make empty promises so I wont, but if anything had happened to them we'd know by now. I'm sure of it" he reassured me.

I eased into his embrace and felt my eyelids getting heavy.

"Sleep Bells. I've got you" he whispered, nuzzling his face into my hair.

…_.._

_The sun was blazing down on First Beach. It was a rare occurrence and I'd made the most of it. _

_My long chestnut locks were flailing around in the wind and I could feel the sand squishing beneath my feet. _

_I was taken over by the glorious wonder in front of me. _

_A beautiful russet skinned child, skipping around in the sand. She was breathtaking. _

_I watched as she splashed around in the shallow waters, the sound of her laughter was the sweetest symphony._

"_Mommy! Mommy!" she called out. _To me?

_I smiled as she ran towards me, her arms open wide. I caught her as she flew into me._

"_I love you Mommy" _

…...

I bolted upright, panting heavily.

"What the hell?" I whispered.

Suddenly, I felt a searing pain in my neck. I felt like I was burning from the inside out. I cried out in pain as the pain became increasingly worse.

"Bells? Bella what's wrong?" I heard Jake ask frantically.

I couldn't answer him. I literally couldn't speak, the pain was so intense. I clutched at my neck in desperation. I couldn't breath.

"Bella!" I felt him shake me roughly by the shoulders.

I continued to claw at my neck, silently begging for relief from the agony.

"What are you doing Bella? You need to let go! You wont be able to breath until you let go!" he cried.

I immediately weakened my grasp and gasped for breath. My vision had become blurry and my head felt as light as a feather. I felt the warmest hands cupping my face.

"Sweetie, what happened? Where are you hurting?" He asked softly.

I silently pointed to my neck and he pulled my hair over one shoulder.

"You've been marked" he whispered.

I nodded my head slowly. It was tingling slightly and I was still finding it a little difficult to breath regularly.

"Does it hurt, right here?" he asked, pointing to my bite mark.

I nodded again.

He looked baffled. He had no explanation and neither did I.

"I've never heard of anything like this" he whispered again.

"I….I don't know what happened. I was sleeping. Then I woke up and it just started burning, I cant even describe the pain" I finally found my voice.

"Maybe its something to do with the imprint. I should talk to my Dad, he might know more" He suggested.

I nodded again as he pulled me up from the floor. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and walked me back to the house.

I couldn't tear my thoughts away from the dream I had just experienced. It was so real, so raw. That beautiful child beaming at me. She was perfect. Tears pricked my eyes as I thought about the possibility of children with Paul.

"Are you okay?" he asked me.

"I don't know. I don't know what just happened" I whimpered.

"We can go to my father now if you like?"

"Its late Jake, we shouldn't disturb him" I replied.

"Don't take this the wrong way Bells, but you just woke me up screaming in agony. I'm pretty sure this is important. Hell, he'd be pissed if we _didn't _go to him" he told me firmly.

"Ok" I whispered back.

…...

Paul POV

My eyes flickered open. I was met with the brightest light, I clenched my eyes shut. It took me a few moments to regain my vision fully.

_How long was I out? _

Silence. Not a thought in my head.

I sat up slowly to find my hands bound together by chains. I had phased back to my human form since I'd been out. For how long damnit?

"Paul?" I heard a deep, raspy voice whisper.

My head shot up to the source of the sound.

"Sam?"

He looked terrible. His eyes were puffy and bruised. He body was bare and there were gashes running down his arms and parts of his torso. He looked like he hadn't eaten in days. His lips were cracked and dry.

"What the hells going on?" I asked him.

He coughed a little before answering.

"We've been here for a little over a week now" he croaked. God, when was the last time he drank anything?

"A week? Have I been out the whole time?"

He just nodded.

"And you too?"

"No. I've been awake a lot of the….time" he growled softly and I could tell that the cause of it was pain.

"Where's Jared?" I asked fretfully.

"He's….in another part of…..the cave" he coughed.

A week? A damn week! How had I been out that long? I couldn't get my head around it.

"I see you finally managed to come back to us?" I heard that familiar sickly sweet voice ask.

I looked towards the archway of the cave and there she was. That bitch.

"Look what you've caused" she smiled, pointing towards Sam.

"What do you want?" I asked her.

"I've told you what I want. Surrender yourself and ill let you go" she giggled.

"No….Paul" Sam whispered.

"I have already told you what will happen if you refuse. I assume you remember?" She asked.

I did. How could I not remember the threat that she'd made against Bella? The rest of the pack? Their families?

My thoughts flew straight to my angel. I had promised her that I would come back to her, but would she still want me to keep that promise knowing that if I fought, everybody else would die too?

"Sam….its okay" I told him.

"No….I wont let you" he growled.

And he wouldn't. It was his job to protect us. All of us.

But right now, there was nothing even he could do. It was all on me. Was I brave enough to let her kill me? Could I really close my eyes for the last time, knowing that I would be leaving Bella behind, heartbroken.

"If I give myself up, you swear you'll let them go?" I asked her.

"Of course" she smiled. Every time she bared her fangs, my blood ran cold.

"And nobody else will be harmed?"

"No. Nobody else. Well, unless you count your precious lady. Of course she'll suffer your loss" she chuckled.

I began trembling fiercely at the thought of it. It was a tough choice to make, but I'd settle for her being heartbroken over slaughtered any day.

"Paul!" Sam shouted.

There was no way he'd allow it. We were brothers and it would take a lot for him to let me do this.

There was only way for him to go with this and it was going to break him in two. Bella too, if she ever found out. But it was the only way.

I took a deep breath before shattering my alphas heart.

"I slept with Emily" I whispered gently, knowing he'd hear me.

Silence.

"I SLEPT WITH EMILY!" I shouted.

That did it, he let out a terrifying growl before lunging at me. The chains kept him at bay of course, but I could see it in his face. He wanted to kill me.

"Your lying!"

"No. No, I'm not. It was after she found you with Leah. We fucked Sam" I told him, my tone was harsh.

"NO!" he howled.

"YES! IT HAPPENED! AND SHE LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT!" I shouted.

I knew I was going too far, but I needed him to want me dead. I needed him to let me do this. My heart broke as the words escaped my mouth.

"YOU BASTARD! YOU NO GOOD PIECE OF SHIT!" he screamed at me.

"Well isn't this interesting" I heard her cackle.

"Your gonna pay for this" he threatened. He was shaking. I was shocked that he hadn't phased, but I could only guess that the chains were keeping him at bay.

"You need to let me do this Sam! Don't you think Id be paying enough by doing this?" I asked him.

He said nothing, just continued to stare me down. I had never seen him look so angry. His teeth were bared and the fire in his eyes was obvious.

"Ill do it" I whispered, whipping my eyes round to meet hers.

A demented grin crept to her lips.

"You think you can get out of it this easily?" He shouted.

"I'm sorry. We regretted it the moment it was finished. It meant nothing to me" I told him.

"THAT MAKES IT WORSE! SHE'S MINE!" He growled.

"There's nothing I can do about it now. Its done. Just let me do this, please" I begged.

"And what about Bella? You really cared that little for her?" He taunted.

"No. It was before the imprint" I whispered.

The very same night that the imprint took its place in my heart. I remembered every detail of that night.

Looking into her eyes. Connecting with her soul. Seeing the true pain that lay within them. The sight of it broke my heart.

I remember running away from her. The ache in my chest getting worse the farther away I got. I remember drinking myself into oblivion and trying it on with some girl in a bar. I remembered that I couldn't take my mind off of her. My Bella. I couldn't go through with it, physically or emotionally.

"Do you realise how she'll feel when she finds out?" He asked me.

_When she finds out?_ He was letting me go. I would sacrifice my life for theirs.

I couldn't think of a better way to go.

"Its funny. Half an hour ago I was willing to die fighting beside you. Now I cant even bear to look at you" he mumbled.

"So we're doing this?" I gulped.

He nodded silently.

"I knew you'd see it my way in the end" I heard her whisper from behind me.

I could feel the coldness of her presence wrapping itself around me. She was close to me. I could feel it.

"RILEY!" She screeched.

A moment later, an averagely built leech stood before us looking at her with all the adoration in the world.

"I told you we'd have our way didn't I pet?" She giggled and he nodded his head.

"Take the alpha and his pup to the border. Track them until they're at least twenty miles into Washington. Stay there for a further twenty four hours and keep watch. I don't want them returning. If they do, gather the newborns and destroy everyone. Do you understand?" She asked him. Again he nodded his head.

He walked over to Sam and began to unbind his chains. Sam just stared down at the floor beneath him. He had no energy to fight. I knew he wouldn't change his mind and I was grateful.

"Say goodbye to your pup, alpha" She taunted.

He rubbed his wrists where they had been wearing so roughly that the skin had worn away.

"I know I don't have the right to ask you for anything, but will you do something for me?" I pleaded.

Sam stayed silent for a moment before finally resting his eyes on me.

"Ill tell her" he whispered.

I nodded slowly, feeling the tears pricking away at my eyes. I was really going to do this. I was really going to die.

"I'm so sorry" I whimpered.

He said nothing.

I gripped the gravel underneath me and willed the tears to disappear, but they wouldn't.

I couldn't hold it in any longer. I let out a gut wrenching sob and the tears flowed freely down my cheeks.

"Ill see you in another life, brother" I heard Sam whisper as he gripped me in his arms tightly.

His warmth flowed over me before he was coldly ripped away from me by the other leech.

"Tell Jared I'm sorry" I whimpered.

It was too late. When I looked up, he was gone. It was just me and the bloodsucker. I was alone.

I felt her move around my body slowly until she was standing above me, staring down at my face.

"I wonder if revenge is as sweet as they say" she chuckled.

I closed my eyes as I felt her ice cold fingers gripping my neck.

My mind wandered to Bella. My beautiful angel. The woman that saved me.

The woman that gave me a reason to live. A reason to die.

I remembered everything about her in a heartbeat.

Her chocolate brown eyes. Her silky chestnut hair.

Each and every delicate curve of her body.

The way my lips tingled every time we kissed.

The way my heart soared every time she smiled.

"_All of me, always" _

I barely had time to take a breath as the pain consumed my body.

I was burning. My blood was boiling. She had bitten me.

I struggled and writhed around on the cold, hard ground.

I tried to calm my mind, I tried not to fight it.

After a few moments, I felt a calm wash over me. It was ending. I was going. My eyes were closing.

Blackness ensued.

…...

**Don't kill me! **

**This chapter had me in floods of tears the whole way through.**

**I really hope your not too mad at me. **

**Don't stop reading though, believe me you'll be missing out if you do.**

**All is not as it seems.**

**Please review and let me know what you think.**

**Thank you for reading**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**


	23. A Sunken Feeling

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

**I'm so sorry it took me so long to get this up! I've been so wrapped up in my new Jake/Bella fic 'Someone Like You'. Check it out!**

**Anyway, here we go! **

"_I wonder if revenge is as sweet as they say" she chuckled._

_I closed my eyes as I felt her ice cold fingers gripping my neck._

_My mind wandered to Bella. My beautiful angel. The woman that saved me. _

_The woman that gave me a reason to live. A reason to die. _

_I remembered everything about her in a heartbeat. _

_Her chocolate brown eyes. Her silky chestnut hair. _

_Each and every delicate curve of her body. _

_The way my lips tingled every time we kissed._

_The way my heart soared every time she smiled. _

"_All of me, always" _

_I barely had time to take a breath as the pain consumed my body. _

_I was burning. My blood was boiling. She had bitten me._

_I struggled and writhed around on the cold, hard ground. _

_I tried to calm my mind, I tried not to fight it. _

_After a few moments, I felt a calm wash over me. It was ending. I was going. My eyes were closing._

_Blackness ensued. _

Bella POV

I knew something was wrong. Jake had been acting suspiciously ever since we'd arrived at his house. Something wasn't right.

We had asked Billy if he had any idea what was going on but he simply stated that he'd never heard of it before.

So here I was, sitting on the Black sofa while Jake and Billy whispered to each other outside like school children.

Since waking up from my dream, besides the searing pain I was recovering from, I hadn't been feeling too good. I felt nauseous and had a headache the size of Washington. It wasn't helping that I clearly wasn't being given the information I wanted.

"Bella, are you okay with staying here tonight?" I heard Jake ask from the doorway.

"Why? I don't have my blanket with me. I cant sleep without it Jake" I whined.

To most people it would seem a little unreasonable but I just couldn't bear to be without it when sleeping. Sure, I had the sweatshirt but that wasn't enough. I needed his scent wrapped around me.

I had screamed at Emily when I caught her accidentally trying to wash it. I felt so bad and apologised profusely afterwards but she understood completely. I knew that being without Sam was taking a bigger toll on her than she would let on.

Jess was still a quivering mess. I couldn't find any words to console her. I'd be a hypocrite if I even tried.

"Its okay Bells, ill go back and get it for you" Jake offered.

"Why cant we go back there? I don't understand why we have to stay here. I don't mean any disrespect Billy, its just that your both being so secretive" I explained.

Billy wheeled himself over to me and took my hands in his.

"Bella, things are complicated. I'm not one hundred percent sure what's going on here so I want to be able to keep an eye on you throughout the night, okay?"

"Okay" I whispered, staring down at my lap.

He patted my hands lightly before wheeling himself into the kitchen, urging Jake to follow.

Their behaviour was killing me but I would stay patient and wait for them to tell me what I needed to know.

I laid my head down on the cushion at the end of the couch and closed my eyes. Every time I closed them I could see Paul's beautiful face staring back at me. I had memorized every perfection and imperfection to a tee.

With thoughts of him surrounding my head, I clung tightly to the hem on his sweatshirt and drifted off to sleep.

Jacob POV

Hiding my devastation from Bella had been damn near impossible.

My father hadn't been sure about what had happened to her, but he knew of old legends that fitted the bill.

When two people are imprinted, marked or not, they will always sense when their lover is in danger.

However when the imprintee has been marked, the bond becomes a lot more powerful. My father believes that the pain that Bella felt was that of Paul's life ending.

The thought alone made me physically sick. I had to sit down for a moment to process the information. I heaved the contents of my stomach up around three times before pushing myself to get back to Emily's. I had to find out if she had any similar feelings. I had no idea if Sam had marked her, but my guess at that was no.

After he lashed out at her I doubted that he'd ever want to cause her any physical pain again.

I ran the whole way un-phased. It took me around fifteen minutes before I was standing at the doorway. I took a deep breath before opening the door and letting myself in.

I looked around the room to find Embry and Quil fast asleep on the living room floor. Of course we would always have Emily's house guarded at all times, just in case.

Emily was nowhere to be seen but I could hear the faint sounds of sobbing coming from her and Sam's bedroom.

I didn't want to disturb her but it was necessary. I made my way down the hall to their room and knocked gently on the wood.

"Who is it?" She sniffled.

"Its Jacob. Can I come in?" I whispered back.

"Of course"

I pushed the door open to find her hunched over the side of the bed staring out of the window.

"Hey Em" I whispered.

"Hi" She replied, letting out a strangled sob.

I sat down next to her and wrapped my arm around her shoulders.

"He's coming home Jake. I know it" She told me, her voice showed that she was serious.

"I'm sure he'll come home Emily" I assured her.

If anyone's love was strong enough to conquer all, it was Sam's. I was sure of it.

"No, he's coming home. Now. I can feel it Jake. Its like the hole in my chest is being filled slowly, every second"

"Are you serious?" I asked her, dumbfounded.

She nodded furiously.

I jumped up from the bed and made my way into the living room.

"Embry, Quil! Wake up guys!" I hollered.

They groaned in unison before sitting up slowly.

"What's going on Jake?" Quil asked, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands.

"I need you both to make your way out. There's a chance that they might be on their way back" I told them.

They jumped up without hesitation and made their way out of the house.

"Would you like some tea?" I heard Emily ask from the kitchen.

"No thank you. Ill take some of your famous waffles though" I laughed humourlessly.

She nodded and smiled softly.

"So, um you said you were certain that he was coming home?" I asked her again.

"Yes. I'm sure. I can feel him coming closer" She sighed.

"Can I ask you a personal question? I wouldn't usually ask but its important"

"Of course" She answered, busying herself with the batter.

"Have you been marked?" I asked sheepishly.

She paused for a moment before taking a deep breath and answering.

"Yes" She whispered as she pulled her hair over one shoulder.

I spotted the silver mark instantly.

"Why do you ask?"

"I don't know for certain Emily so please don't say a word, but I think Paul may have died" I whispered.

I heard the bowl she was holding drop to the floor. Batter splattered over the floor as she let out a gut wrenching sob.

"Oh god, Bella" She cried.

I rushed to her side, gently pushing her into one of the chairs. I kneeled down in front of her and took her hands in mine.

"I know. I don't want to tell her until I'm certain" I told Emily.

"Oh she'll be devastated" She sobbed harder, her body shaking.

"You have to promise me you wont say a word to her, not yet" I begged.

She cried some more before wiping her tears on her nightshirt and agreeing.

"Now we just have to wait and see what happens" I sighed, knowing that it was easier said than done.

Bella POV

_As I played with my beautiful daughter in the sand, I revelled in the happiness that surrounded me._

_I felt Paul's strong arms enveloping me from behind._

"_I love you honey" he whispered against my ear._

"_I love you too" _

I shot up off of the couch and ran as fast as my legs could carry me to the bathroom. No sooner than I threw myself to the floor had I emptied my stomach into the toilet bowl. I heaved with everything I had in me. My stomach was cramping so badly that I felt like I couldn't move.

I had pondered the fact that my sickness could've been down to not eating properly. I had found myself in the same position in Emily's bathroom more than a handful of times this week.

Of course I never said anything to her about it. I didn't want to worry her. She didn't need anything else stressing her out.

I grabbed a flannel from the side of the bathtub and ran it under some cold water. I applied it with pressure to my forehead. I could feel myself getting hotter by the second. My heart was battering against my ribcage. I had never felt so ill.

"Jacob….is that what she said?….Interesting….And you say the boys are out there now?….That was the right thing to do son….Okay…Call me when you have more news" I heard Billy talking.

I had only heard one side of the conversation but I knew that something big was happening. I clambered to my feet and made my way out to the living room.

"Bella, are you feeling okay?" Billy asked, looking concerned.

"Just a little sick is all, no need to worry. Was that Jake on the phone?" I asked him, hoping for information.

"Yes, it was. He wont be back until morning Bella. Please feel free to take his room, it will be much more comfortable" He offered.

I nodded because lets face it, what else could I do? It was clear that I wasn't going to gain any information by pushing for it. I would just have to be patient and it was going to tear me apart.

Jacob POV

Nothing to do but sit and wait.

I couldn't leave Emily alone. I wouldn't risk it no matter how badly I wanted to join my brothers in the search. I knew that they would howl for me if they needed me.

I had finally gotten Emily back to sleep after hours of trying. She had cried so much that she had exhausted herself. I was thankful to be able to sit and collect my thoughts with no interruptions. I knew that if Paul was in fact dead, I would be the one to break the news to Bella.

How do you tell somebody that the love of their life has perished? I couldn't even begin to form the words in my mind. I was too young to be dealing with this. We all were.

Fate had made us grow up fast. There was rarely time for fun and when we got time it was often interrupted. I was proud to protect my people and proud that I would one day be alpha of the pack. I just wished that this had been bestowed upon us a little later in life.

How could anybody justify twenty as an acceptable age to deal with death? Nobody in their right mind would agree with it.

Life had thrown us a bone, no pun intended, and whether we liked it or not we just had to run with it.

I took myself out onto the porch to get some fresh air, sniffing the air around me. I could no long sense my brothers' scent. That meant that they were far away from here.

The best way to find anything out would be to phase. As long as I stayed close to the house, I knew that Emily would be safe.

Jess had been staying back at Jared's house. She had Seth and Colin there protecting her. I was safe in the knowledge that no harm would come to her with them there.

I pulled my shorts off and phased.

I listened as hard as I could for any thoughts but I got nothing.

"_Guys, can you hear me?" _I thought, probably to nobody but myself.

No reply.

I would just sit and wait. There was a couple more hours before the sun would rise, so I would lay out on the grass and keep my ears open.

Tedious? Yes.

Necessary? Definitely.

I must have drifted off because I was brought out of my slumber by a high pitched howl.

"_Embry? Quil?" _

"_Jake! We found them!" _

"_Embry! Where are you?" _

"_Around fifty miles from La Push. We'll be there within the hour!" _

I phased back as quick as possible and pulled on my shorts.

Calling my Dad was the first thing I needed to do. I ran back inside the house and dialled his number.

_Ring…..Ring…..Ring_

"Come on, old man" I whispered to myself.

_Ring….Ring…._

"_Hello" _

"Dad! Embry and Quil! They've found them!" I panted.

"_Where are they?" _He asked eagerly.

"Fifty miles from La Push. They'll be home soon" I told him.

The line went silent. I knew the burning question that he wanted answering.

"I don't know if he's with them" I mumbled into the receiver.

"_Right now, just be happy that some of your brothers are returning. We will face the other obstacle if and when we come to it. Call me as soon as you know more" _He urged.

"Of course. How's Bella doing?" I asked him.

"_She's sleeping soundly at the moment. She's been a little sick but I think it must be something she ate" _

"Okay, well ill talk to you soon"

"_Okay son" _He said before hanging up.

I had to call Seth and let him know what was happening.

_Ring….Ring….Ring_

"I know Jake! We're all on our way over now!" He said excitedly before hanging up.

His happy go lucky attitude never ceased to make me smile. Poor kid didn't deserve this life. These ties.

I wouldn't wake Emily just yet. I wanted to find out what the situation was before disturbing her.

As I sat myself down on the porch once again, the anxiety in my body was taking over. I was physically shaking now. I could only pray that Paul was with them but deep in my heart, I knew he wasn't.

My ears pricked up as I heard another howl, this one marginally closer. I could smell my brothers. Their scent was all around me. They would be here in a matter of seconds.

I jumped up to my feet and waited for what felt like forever.

Looking towards the forest line I spotted four wolves. Four.

He wasn't with them.

For the first time since they had left, I let my emotions take over. I fell to my knees and sobbed like a child. No sooner had I hit the floor than I felt a pair of arms envelope me.

I looked up to find Quil, Sam and Jared standing before me. Embry had me wrapped in his embrace, trying to calm me.

Sam and Jared looked like they had been to hell and back. They looked terrible. Their eyes were puffy and bruised. Their lips were cracked from dehydration. They looked physically and emotionally exhausted.

No words were said as we embraced each other.

These guys were my brothers and they meant the absolute world to me. One of my brothers had fallen but that didn't alter the love I had for him.

Paul was the bravest, strongest wolf I had ever known and I would honour his life.

**This chapter was SO hard to write. **

**Its drained me completely. I hope I didn't let you guys down. **

**So many emotions! **

**What do we think is happening to Bella? Any guesses? Is Paul really dead? **

**I need to take a couple of days break before continuing with this story. I love it but damn, it messes my head up! Lol.**

**Please review and let me know your thoughts. **

**xxxxxx**


	24. Forever is Over

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**

**I am SO sorry that it took so long to get this chapter out. I have really struggled with it whilst having to deal with problems in my personal life. Its shorter than usual, but again I didn't want to drag out the aftermath of Bella discovering the tragedy….**

**I hope you enjoy it.**

**I also have to recommend a fantastic Jake/Bella fic for you all.**

**Its called Prisoners of Love by the wonderful Pooks79.**

**Not your typical Jake/Bella, but its mind blowing!**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

_Sam and Jared looked like they had been to hell and back. They looked terrible. Their eyes were puffy and bruised. Their lips were cracked from dehydration. They looked physically and emotionally exhausted. _

_No words were said as we embraced each other. _

_These guys were my brothers and they meant the absolute world to me. One of my brothers had fallen but that didn't alter the love I had for him. _

_Paul was the bravest, strongest wolf I had ever known and I would honour his life._

Bella POV

This charade was beginning to anger me.

I hadn't heard from Jake since he took off the night before. Surely I deserved to know what was happening? I was part of the pack too, even if I wasn't a wolf.

It was now 4.30am.

As I looked around at Jakes messy bedroom, I decided to get myself together and head back over to Emily's. I really didn't feel like spending a whole day getting in Billy's way.

I pulled myself up out of bed and slipped my jeans back on. I hadn't taken of Paul's sweater, just like I wouldn't until the day he came home. I didn't care that the smell had faded and the scent had become a little musty, I wouldn't remove it from my body.

As I tiptoed out of the house, hoping I wouldn't wake Billy as I left. I knew it wasn't the wisest move to walk back to Emily's on my own, but what choice did I have? If nobody was willing to tell me anything, what else could I do?

I successfully made my way out of the front door, the chill of the air catching in my throat causing it to dry up instantly.

I found myself running as fast as my legs could carry me towards the little cottage, mostly out of fear. I knew that there was a possibility that vampires may be lurking nearby. I knew I couldn't endanger myself like that, for Paul's sake.

Moments later, I slowed my pace as I spotted the small house in the middle of the clearing. The windows were dimly lit with candles. The atmosphere was solemn. I had known that Emily hadn't been sleeping but I didn't expect her to be up this late. She was stronger than that.

I carefully approached the front door, I had no idea why. It all felt too sad, I could sense it in the air.

As I inched myself closer, I heard the odd whisper being spoken on the other side of the door. I cursed myself silently as my footsteps caused the wooden slats the creek.

Then there was silence.

For some reason, I felt like I should knock. Stupid really, considering I'd been living here for the past few weeks. I didn't know, I just walked right in.

The first sight that caught my eye was Jake, sitting on the sofa with his head in his hands. I immediately rushed to his side and wrapped my arm around his shoulders.

"Jake, what's wrong?" I asked in a hushed tone.

He said nothing. Instead he sobbed like a child. He didn't look up at me or even acknowledge I was there.

"Bella…" I heard Emily whisper from the doorway.

I spun my head around to meet her gaze. She too had been crying, her brown eyes now bloodshot right the way through.

"What's going on?" I asked nervously.

Again, nobody spoke to me. Instead, Emily made her way over to me taking the seat next to mine. She looked down at her lap as she let out a strangled breath.

"Your both really starting to worry me now. Please, tell me what's happening?" I pleaded.

Emily began to sob uncontrollably and I didn't have a clue why.

"Emily" I heard a whisper from the front door.

Sam.

Oh my god, Sam.

I leapt to my feet and raced over to him, throwing my arms around his neck. I felt his entire body tense against mine as I pushed myself into him.

Sam was back.

Paul was home.

Relief washed over me at that moment, I felt so light that I could float.

I pulled away from him and looked into his eyes. They were cold, dead even. Why wasn't he happy to be home? Why wasn't he consoling Emily? That was his job, right? He was supposed to be there when she needed him. Instead he just stared angrily at her, as if she were his worst enemy.

I pushed myself to answer the question I had been dying to get the answer to.

"Where's Paul?" I asked excitedly, fiddling with the ring on my engagement finger.

Sam gave me a sympathetic smile before escorting me back to the sofa, sitting me in between Emily and Jake. He took a seat opposite us in the large armchair.

"When will he be here?" I asked impatiently.

"Bella…" Sam trailed off, choking on his breath.

Why wouldn't anybody tell me where he was? I wanted to know where my lover was.

"Sam, please. Where is he? Your starting to worry me" I admitted.

He stood up from his seat and knelt down in front of me, taking my hands in his palms. I waited for what felt like an eternity before he finally spoke.

And how I wish he hadn't…

"Bella….He's not coming back" Sam whispered painfully.

"What? What do you mean he's not coming back? Where is he?" I asked frantically, snatching my hands away from Sam.

"He….He sacrificed himself for us Bella"

My heart stopped.

It stopped beating and fell into the pit of my stomach.

I went blind in that moment, tears pooling at my eyes.

No.

No, he promised he'd come back.

"Your lying" I growled at him.

"I'm sorry….I wish I could tell you I was" He whispered.

My whole body started to tremble as the words sank in.

"He promised. No, he promised" I repeated, pulling my knees up to my chest.

As I focused on convincing myself that they were trying to trick me, I felt Jake's arms envelope me and pull me towards him.

"Lying. All of you. Lying"

I couldn't think. I couldn't feel. I couldn't see. I couldn't breathe.

He was gone.

I couldn't feel him anymore.

"No…no….NO!" I screamed, lashing out at Sam.

I gripped the roots of my hair between my fingertips and pulled tightly.

"He cant be. We were getting married, no" I whispered again.

I felt the tears falling down my cheeks. My mouth so dry that I could barely speak.

"Bella…"

I couldn't hear anymore.

All I could feel was my heart pounding in my ears.

Dead.

My lover.

My best friend.

My soul mate.

Gone.

Jacob POV

Watching Bella fall to pieces in front of me was heart breaking.

As she collapsed into my lap, I couldn't stop the tears that fell from my eyes.

Emily had her arms wrapped around Bellas waist, clinging to her tightly as she rocked us both with her gut wrenching sobs.

"I've got you Bells" I whispered into her hair as she whaled.

Eventually, she fell into a trance. Not quite asleep, not quite awake but it would do. I laid her back down onto the sofa and covered her up with Paul's blanket.

As I placed it over her, she buried her face into and sobbed even harder. There was nothing I could do for her and it was killing me.

Her reason for living had gone.

Imprinting.

I suppose some would say that its magical and it should be respected. When something like this unfolds before your eyes, how can you? How can you possibly condone something that can end like this? Who knows if she'll ever be able to love again, I don't think its even possible.

It was once said by my father that you would die without your imprint. Did that go both ways? I wasn't sure I could handle losing Bella. In the short time that we've reconnect, we have formed an unbreakable bond.

I would do anything I could to help her, but right now there was nothing.

I would leave her with her dreams.

I would leave her with Paul.

Bella's POV

"_Honey, you know I love your spaghetti" he exclaimed, smiling up at me. _

"_I know you do, its little Aiyanna's favourite too" I smiled back._

_As I busied myself around our quaint little kitchen, I found myself looking around to discover how we got here. _

"_Mommwy" _

_I turned to see my beautiful girl staring up at me, eyes wide and lips pouted. _

_She was breathtaking. _

_Her hair hung in raven black ringlets and her deep brown eyes captivated me. She was the picture of her father. _

"_Mommwy! How did Daddy die?" _

I bolted upright as I tried to compose myself. I was sweating profusely and my eyes were filled with tears. Whether they were from the dream or from my devastation, I wasn't sure. One thing I was sure of though, was that these dreams were getting more and more vivid. Each time I closed my eyes, I would dream of that little girl. Our little girl.

My heart broke at the thought of it. We were meant to have babies. Maybe we would have had two, maybe three. Knowing how much he wanted kids, we could've ended up with a whole football team.

That wouldn't happen now, would it?

What was the point in living without him? The answer was, there wasn't one.

We were made to fit one another. I was made for him and he was made for me. Now I didn't have him and he didn't need me, what was there to do?

As I looked around, all of the lights were off. It seemed like everybody was asleep.

I carefully stood up from the sofa and tiptoed to the front door. After slipping my shoes on, I proceeded to walk away from the house.

The cold was bitter and chilled me to the bone, but I didn't really feel anything.

My sun was gone, so what was the point in complaining about the cold. It wouldn't be going away anytime soon.

I never thought it was possible to feel this empty.

Before I knew it, I found myself standing on the cliffs over looking First Beach and the ocean. Looking down I remembered the day that Paul proposed to me.

I remembered those words like it was yesterday.

"_Isabella Swan, you are perfect. You are beautiful, kind and feisty. You are argumentative, you frustrate me beyond belief and you light up every room. Neither of us are perfect, but you are perfect for me. I know that we can take on anything together and that's why I want to give you this" _

The moment that he slipped that ring onto my finger was the happiest moment of my life.

"_I want to be able to spend my whole life showing you how much I love you. So I ask you now honey, will you be my wife, my confidante and my best friend? Forever?"_

Remembering those words all over again made my stomach churn. Our forever was over wasn't it? There was nothing anymore.

I looked down at the beautiful ring on my finger and sobbed silently. I didn't shed any tears, I was pretty sure there weren't any left.

At that moment, a gust of wind hit me. As brisk as it was, it felt like the weight of a thousand feathers. The hairs on my skin raised and the chills making their way up my spine were indescribable.

I took this as a sign.

I stepped closer to the edge and closed my eyes, preparing myself for my final decision.

_His eyes._

_His smile._

_His touch._

_His laughter._

_His love._

_Him._

"I love you" I whispered.

Paul POV ***(I told you to trust me - an)*** 

_My Bella._

_My beautiful Bella. _

_Her body wracked with sobs._

_My Bella running. _

_The wind blowing through her thick chestnut locks._

_My Bella….._

**I know, you hate me because its so short right? Im sorry : (**

**It just seemed to end itself there. I wanted a powerful end to the chapter, I wouldn't have got it if it hadn't ended where it did.**

**I really hope you enjoyed it anyway. The next chapter WILL be up soon. A couple of days at the most.**

**Review and let me know what you think **

**Thank you so much for reading xxx**


	25. Full of Grace

_**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters.**_

_**If you could do me the honour of listening to Sarah McLachlan 'Full of Grace' whilst reading this, I'd be real grateful.**_

_**I had it on repeat when writing this chapter.**_

_**Enjoy!**_

_I stepped closer to the edge and closed my eyes, preparing myself for my final decision._

_His eyes._

_His smile._

_His touch._

_His laughter._

_His love._

_Him._

"_I love you" I whispered._

_Paul POV ***(I told you to trust me - an)*** _

_My Bella._

_My beautiful Bella. _

_Her body wracked with sobs._

_My Bella running. _

_The wind blowing through her thick chestnut locks._

_My Bella….._

Bella POV

So I was a coward.

As well as losing my reason for living, I now couldn't even join him. Everything in me had wanted to jump, but I just couldn't.

Something held me back and I couldn't for the life of me think what it could have been. It was like an unspeakable force was stopping me from jumping.

So here I was. Once again, pathetic Bella Swan was heartbroken and alone.

I should have been used to this by now.

First Edward, who in the end turned out to be a fantasy anyway. Who in their right mind would knowingly enter a relationship with a vampire? Maybe it would have done me good to have known that little fact before we started dating. In a sick way, I knew he was never right for me. It was always like I was testing myself, pushing myself further everyday. Especially when it came to having sex for the first and only time.

I told myself that I could do it, that I would enjoy it, that it was what I wanted. It wasn't.

It wasn't until I met Paul for the first time that I truly realised what lust was. He took my breath away instantly with his awe inspiring attitude. The way he moved, the way he held himself. Paul had me captivated from the first moment.

The first night that we spent together cemented the rest of my life. I truly believe that whether he would have imprinted on me or not, we were meant for each other.

I didn't need some spirit to tell me that Paul was my soul mate, I could see that already.

We had only just begun and he had been snatched away from me.

I didn't know the details and in all honesty, I wasn't sure I wanted to. I had known that Paul was a brave man and I knew that if it came down to it he would lay his life down for his brothers. I guess I just didn't expect it. I pushed any prospect of him not coming home to the back of my mind, praying that I'd never have to revisit them.

No such luck, hey?

Maybe after I met Paul, I just thought that life would pan out for me. That I wouldn't have to worry about my path. When somebody tells you that you've been chosen for them by spirits that are thousands of years old, you tend to think that your path has already been decided for you.

Marriage, Kids. The works.

That just wasn't in the cards for me anymore. There was no way I wanted it with anyone else but him. He saved me. Not just emotionally, but physically. It had been my job to stand by him, to be there for him. Paul had once told me that imprinting worked however I wanted it to. He would be whatever I wanted him to be. Of course it had never crossed my mind to want him as anything but a lover, but I also saw that it was up to me to be whatever he needed.

He needed me to be strong for him. He had the weight of the world on his shoulders and I needed to be the one to bear it with him. I know that if I hadn't found him again, my drug abuse would have spiralled out of control and he was my reason for giving it all up. How could I expect him to look after me, be with me, if I was constantly testing his patience. I knew that he had worried about me whenever I hadn't been in his care, especially after the night he found me on the beach.

The pain in my heart grew stronger every second I had been without him, even now it still grew stronger.

I would prepare myself for it to get even worse. Knowing that I would never see him again was enough to punch a hole through my chest.

As I looked up at the stars above me, I prayed that even just for a second, Paul was looking down on me.

Before this moment, I had never considered heaven or hell. I knew that if either were to exist, Paul would be in the most peaceful place. To anybody that didn't know him, he would have seemed like a menace to society. Nobody knew Paul like his brothers and I. He was a good man and even too much peace wouldn't be enough.

I was brought out of my inner thoughts by the sound of a twig snapping behind me.

For a moment, I froze.

"Bells…"

Jake.

I said nothing back to him. Instead I just patted the ground beside me, silently inviting him to join me.

He sat down slowly beside me and took one of my hands in his, squeezing it gently.

"I understand if you don't want to talk" he whispered, almost inaudibly.

I took a moment before answering, breathing deeply before opening my mouth to speak.

"No, its fine" I whimpered, my voice clearly broken from my sobbing.

Jake wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his side. For a moment, I found myself imagining that I was in Paul's arms. They were always so warm.

"Would you like me to tell you some stories? About Paul and I?" He asked nervously.

"What kind of stories?"

"From when we were kids, I have a lot of them" Jake replied, chuckling sadly.

I smiled inwardly at the thought of Jake and Paul playing as children. Two small raven haired boys running around in the mud. Carefree and happy.

"Please" I begged, tucking myself further into his side.

Jake inhaled a huge breath before squeezing me tightly and exhaling.

"Want to know what mine and Paul's favourite thing to do was?" He asked me.

I simply nodded, urging him to carry on.

"We loved to collect crabs down at the beach. My Dad and I would pick him up on a Saturday morning and we'd head straight down here. Sometimes even Charlie would come along. Paul and I could spend days down there in the rock pools if they had let us" He laughed.

"Anyway, one day my Dad was busy and couldn't take us out there. So you know Paul, he never liked boundries being set for him, and he didn't care for them much then either. He had this idea that we'd sneak down there alone, we must of only been about eight or nine at the time"

I laughed at the thought of a rebellious Paul leading an innocent Jake astray.

"So when we got down there, we didn't have any nets. Our great plan had been scuppered before we'd even had a chance to start. We gave on the crab fishing pretty quickly after that"

"What did you do instead?" I asked curiously, knowing this wasn't the end of the tale.

"Well, its not secret to you that Paul had a flirty nature. We stumbled across two girls around the same age as us, they were building princess thrones out of sand. At least that what they were _trying _to do until they spotted us. I wont deny it Bell's, I was putty in their hands" He guffawed.

"Sssh….On with the tale" I urged, jabbing him lightly in the side.

"Well, they managed to convince us to play a game. They told us that if we let them bury the two of us in the sand, that we'd each get a kiss. I'm sure you can see where this is going…"

I giggled lightly and nodded my head.

"So, naturally we agreed. They did as they promised. We helped them dig big holes before they buried us inside them up to our necks. I swear Bells, we couldn't even move our arms" He laughed.

"They gave us a peck on the cheek and the evil little witches ran away, giggling to themselves. I couldn't believe it, we were stuck there for about three hours before my Dad and Charlie figured out where we'd gone. Of course Dad had to run home and get the camera before digging us out. He always told me that my niavity needed to be caught on camera"

I was in fits of giggles by this point. Just the thought of Paul and Jake trying to flirt, badly, at the age of eight was enough to crack a smile on the face of anyone.

"Do you still have the picture?" I asked hopefully.

"Yeah, my Dad had it mounted and nailed to the hallway wall" He replied sulkily.

As we laughed a little more about the good times that we'd each shared with Paul, I found myself in tears once again over the loss of my love. I knew it would be difficult for me to create happy memories without him. He was my happiness.

"Hey…Come here" Jake whispered, pulling me onto his lap.

He began to rock me back and forth slowly as I sobbed into his crisp white t shirt, clinging to it dearly. I heard him start to whisper something into hair and desperately tried to understand his words.

"Great Spirit of Light, come to me out of the East with the power of the rising sun. Let there be light in my words, let there be light on my path that I walk. Let me remember always that you give the gift of a new day. And never let me be burdened with sorrow by not starting over again"

"Great Spirit of Love, come to me with the power of the North. Make me courageous when the cold wind falls upon me. Give me strength and endurance for everything that is harsh, everything that hurts, everything that makes me squint. Let me move through life ready to take what comes from the north"

A prayer. The most beautiful prayer I had ever heard.

"Great Life-Giving Spirit, I face the West, the direction of sundown. Let me remember everyday that the moment will come when my sun will go down. Never let me forget that I must fade into you. Give me a beautiful colour, give me a great sky for setting, so that when it is my time to meet you, I can come with glory"

"Great Spirit of Creation, send me the warm and soothing winds from the South. Comfort me and caress me when I am tired and cold. Unfold me like the gentle breezes that unfold the leaves on the trees. As you give to all the earth your warm, moving wind, give to me, so that I may grow close to you in warmth. Man did not create the web of life, he is but a strand in it. Whatever man does to the web, he does to himself."

I felt a single water droplet land coolly on my forehead. It was only when I felt Jakes chest start to shake that I realised he was crying too.

I lifted myself up off of his lap and cradled my arms around him.

We sat in silence as the dreary sunrise began.

I knew one thing for sure, the sun would never shine for me again.

Paul POV

I cant really describe death to you, as it seems that I am not there.

At first I thought that I was in some kind of purgatory, not knowing where to go next but I soon realised something that shocked me to the core.

I wasn't dead.

I hadn't been killed.

The worst part of it all? I was pretty sure that by now Bella would have been told otherwise.

When I first learnt of imprinting from Sam, I remember scoffing at some of the effects. Before Bella, I wondered how it was possible to exist for one person. I soon realised that it happens just like that. You have to exist _for _them and _with _them.

Bella would believe that she had to exist without me from now on and that was tearing me apart.

I don't exactly know how long I've been in darkness now.

It feels like weeks, but that can only mean that its been hours.

As I tried to sit up, the searing pain in my neck started to take over again.

Had she bitten me?

I reached up, my wrists still bound by chains, running my fingers across my neck. I could feel the unmistakable crescent shaped scar.

_Scar?_

If she had bitten me, surely I would have been dead by now. I ran my fingers over it a few more times before giving in to the ache that was getting worse by the minute. I could just about make out the bruises on my wrists from the tightness of my restraints.

Trying to break free would do no good. I doubted that I'd be able to lift up a small rock the state I was in, let alone rip apart steel chains.

Suddenly, I heard a rocks shuffling at the other side of the cave. I quickly lifted my knees up to my chest in a protective stance and waited for the onslaught of the redheaded leech. If I ever got my hands on her, I'd have her wishing she'd never met me.

Only what I saw next wasn't her. In fact, if you'd of asked me at that moment who I'd expected to turn up, this wouldn't have been my answer.

A low growl escaped my lips as I spotted the figure, dimly lit by a burning candle.

"Cullen"

**Dun dun duuuuuuuuun…..**

**What did you all think of that? Were you expecting it? Which Cullen do we think it is? **

**Whoever it is, are they there to help or hinder?**

**Review and let me know your thoughts.**

**Thanks for reading : ) xx**


	26. For You're Life

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters within it. **

**I can't even begin to apologize for my ridiculously long absence. **

**My laptop broke a few months back and I have literally nearly died without it. **

**I am back now though! (I've stolen my boyfriends lol) **

**I vow that I will keep up with both of my stories. I've missed writing so much!**

**I am a little disappointed in the lack of reviews on both though, I have to say :( **

**I pour my heart and soul into both of them. If you like it or even if you don't, please review :) Reviews make me a happy girl and push me to write.**

**So, anyway I'll stop gabbling now and get on with it. **

**You've all waited long enough.**

**Hope you enjoy xx**

Paul POV

"Cullen" I growled, still crouching defensively.

He stood there. As stiff as a board.

I couldn't see any malice in his eyes, but that didn't stop me from wondering what the hell he was doing here.

"Paul" He spoke softly. Too softly.

He kept his gaze to the left of me, clearly it would have been uncomfortable for him to converse with another whilst they were stark naked.

"I'm not gonna pretend to like you. What are you doing here?" I pushed.

He shuffled uncomfortably on his feet for a moment before pinching the bridge of his nose in between his fingertips. He looked pained. As if he really had no idea why he _was_ here.

After a few more moments, he spoke.

"Isabella" he whispered.

Something inside my brain snapped and I lunged at him. Fortunately for him, the chains that were binding me to the wall kept me away from him.

"Stay away from her" I panted.

He almost looked amused by my outburst. Damn, I hated this guy.

"Do you really think that if I wanted her, I'd be here trying to help you?" He asked me, with a slight smirk on his face.

"Help me? I don't call this helping me. Have you seen how many bloodsuckers are out there?" I laughed humorlessly.

My mouth was unbelievably dry. I couldn't remember the last time I'd drank anything.

"I have some water here" He offered, holding out clear, plastic bottle.

I looked up at his face. He seemed genuine enough.

The fucker better not be trying to poison me.

"Its clean. Certainly not poisoned" He chuckled.

My head snapped up again.

"Stay the fuck out of my thoughts" I growled.

He shrugged his shoulders a little before throwing the bottle to my feet.

I clambered for it desperately, unscrewing the lid.

I pulled the bottle to my lips, gulping down the cool water. I could almost feel the liquid hitting my empty stomach. I couldn't remember a time when I'd been so thirsty.

Finishing off the bottle, I threw it back on to the ground.

"So Eddie boy. What's you're plan? You say you want to help me? Lets hear it" I urged.

"There's only one way out of here" He replied, sounding sure of himself.

I waited for him to continue, but he didn't.

"Well...Come on" I urged, groaning in frustration.

"We have to go out through the entrance" He answered.

Was he serious? Did he actually think we could go out through there, and survive.

"Its possible. My family are coming. All of them. They'll help" He assured me.

How the hell did he get in here in the first place?

"There's a simple explanation for that. She believes that I am on her side. She believes that I am her mate"

"Are you her mate?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"The only way for this to work is for me to let her believe that I am" He replied, turning is back towards me.

"Look, not that I don't appreciate it, but why do you want to help me? You have the perfect opening. You could run back to Forks right now and snap Bella up. Not that she'd go without a fight, but seriously. Why are you helping me?"

He froze for a second. I heard him let out an unnecessary sigh. Sometimes I forget that these leeches didn't need to breathe.

"I've been watching her you know" He whispered.

The protective side of me roared up again as my breathing became heavy. I could feel the growl rumbling in my chest. My Bella.

"I saw the two of you together when I came back to get her and I've seen her since you've been gone. Who am I to stand in the way of fate?"

I couldn't help it, but I was starting to feel a little sorry for the guy. I still hated his guts for being what he was, but there was this niggling feeling in the pit of my stomach that told me to cooperate.

"You've seen her since I've been gone? How is she?" It pained me to ask.

He turned back around to face me. I saw it in his eyes that I wouldn't like the answer.

"Do you want to know the truth? You're right. You won't like it" He replied, staring right into my eyes.

I nodded as I focused my eyes on the rocky ground beneath me.

"She thinks that you're dead. She is beyond inconsolable" He rushed.

I felt the tears prickling at my eyes. All I wanted was her to be happy and she wasn't. I had no way of letting her know that I was alive and that ripped me apart inside.

"I don't think this is necessary. We need to focus on how we're going to get you out of here. The sooner you're home, the better it will be for Isabella. Now, I know that my family will be here within forty eight hours. We could use some more on our side, but I'm sure they'll know what to do. With Jasper leading them, they'll have a very strong advantage" He explained.

"Jasper? The war hero, right?" I huffed.

"The one and only. Trust me, do not underestimate his abilities. He's dealt with thousands of newborns in the past" Edward told me. I could see the loyalty he had to his family burning in his eyes.

"Can you honestly tell me that you think that seven vampires can take on whats waiting just through there?"

"We don't really have any other choice. There is nobody else. Unless you've got any better ideas?" He asked me, sitting down across from me.

Leaning against the cold, hard stone behind me I closed my eyes.

I desperately wanted to think of a way to assure that we could rip these fucking leeches apart, but I just couldn't see seven of them, plus me, doing the job. There were just too many.

"What about the wolves?" I asked him, snapping my head back up.

Of course. Why hadn't I thought of it before. My boys would rip them to pieces.

But then, I didn't even know if my Alpha wanted me alive. I had committed the ultimate betrayal. I had bedded his imprint. I wouldn't blame him if he wanted me to rot.

"Every one of them believes that you're dead. Its impossible for them to help. Pardon me for my intrusion but I was close by when you made the admission to you're leader. I don't believe that he wants you dead. Not in the slightest. He's angry, of course he is. That woman is the love of his life. Trust me, I _know _that he doesn't want you dead. All any of them want is for you to be back where you belong" Edward told me.

Suddenly, I heard footsteps coming towards us. Edward jumped up from the ground, tilted his head towards me and made his way out of the cave.

I had no idea what the hell had just happened, but damn if I wasn't grateful for having him around to watch my back.

For the hundredth time in I don't know how many days I felt that familiar pain in the side of my neck and everything went black.

Bella POV

Days had passed. God knows how many.

I couldn't feel myself anymore. I didn't have the strength to move. I hadn't washed in days. I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten. I didn't want to do anything. Every part of my being wanted to die.

I ached for him every second of every minute. I physically ached. My heart wasn't there anymore. After all, who can live without a heart?

I hadn't left this room. I hadn't stepped foot onto the floor. I just laid here, day after day praying that he might just come back to me.

No amount of rationalizing would help. No matter how many times people told me he wasn't coming back, I just couldn't make myself believe it.

My eyes stung from the colossal amount of tears that had fallen from them. My lips were cracked. I refused to drink. I refused anything that anybody offered me. I just wanted to be left alone. There was nothing that would help me. Nothing at all.

Jake had tried more than a fair few times to get me out of bed. I just didn't want to. I couldn't.

I didn't want to _be _in this world without him.

Before him, I had nothing.

Now that I've known what its like to love him. To be loved by him. Nothing will ever come close to that. To what we had.

He was my angel.

I wasn't a religious person. I'd never really given it much thought.

I was a believer in fate though and my Paul had been sent to me for a reason.

In such a short time, he had become my whole world.

We saved each other.

I can't begin to imagine what life would be like if I'd never found him. I didn't want to think of it. It made my gut clench, my heart tighten. The thought scared me to the point where I could barely breathe.

I would truly give up my whole life just to spend five more minutes with him.

I forced my eyes open, only to be met by the sun streaming in through the curtains.

I winced slightly as I tried to adjust to the light.

"Bella" I heard somebody whisper.

It took all the energy I had just to look over to the doorway.

My eyes were met by the sight of Jake standing before me. He looked like he hadn't slept in weeks.

"Can I come in?" He asked me, his eyes pleading with me.

I just nodded and laid my head back down onto the pillow.

Jake approached the bed slowly before perching himself on the end of it. I watched him as he stared down at the floor, his hands in his lap.

There was silence for a few moments before he spoke.

"What can I do, Bella? Please, just let me do something for you" He begged, not raising his gaze from the floor.

I said nothing.

I don't think I could have if I'd tried.

My throat felt like it had been slashed a hundred times over with razor blades.

Jake turned his body round to face me.

"Bells, you need to eat. You've lost so much weight. He wouldn't want you to put yourself through this"

His words stabbed the very pit of my being. I clenched my eyes shut as he continued.

"I've had to be so strong Bells. Its my job to be strong. Everybody expects so much of me. Sam and Emily are always fighting. The guys are devastated. I haven't seen Quil in days. He's disappeared off of the face of the earth and everybody's looking to me for support. I used to have you Bells. I used to be able to talk to you. I used to be able to come to you when I needed help or support. I don't have anybody anymore"

I could see the shimmer of tears in his eyes. He _was_ strong. He had always been strong. All of them had been.

Seeing Jake like this made me feel even worse. I was useless. I couldn't be there for anybody. I was a complete wreck.

I just needed time.

People couldn't expect me to just bounce right back and be fine again.

They all felt the loss of him.

I could sense it in the air.

Nobody came here for dinner anymore.

There were no pack meetings.

There was nothing.

I hadn't seen Jess since they'd arrived home.

I guessed she'd been with Jared.

The thought of the two of them together sent a pang of jealousy right through my chest.

Of course, she'd tried to see me but I'd just refused her or anybody else for that matter.

"Bells, can I lay with you? I just need some peace for a while" he asked me.

I still didn't say anything but I pulled back the corner of the quilt and invited him in.

He kicked his shoes off and slid in beside me. The warmth hit me immediately and just for one moment, I closed my eyes and imagined that it was him.

…...

I awoke in a panic.

Another nightmare.

Always the same nightmare.

Always about him.

As much as I didn't want to move, my bladder was refusing to let me lay here any longer.

I sat up and placed my bare feet on the floor beneath me, not wanting to wake Jake. I didn't know when he'd be able to sleep this peacefully again. With wolves disappearing left, right and center he needed all the rest he could get.

After pulling the quilt back over his chest, I made my way to the bathroom.

Entering the tiny room, I felt around for the light switch.

Flicking it on, I was momentarily blinded by the brightness of it.

As I sat down on to the toilet, I was faced with my reflection in the mirror directly opposite.

Jake had been right. I looked like hell.

My eyes were sunken in, my cheek bones hollow. I must have lost at least twenty pounds.

Standing up, I flushed the toilet and splashed my face with cold water from the sink before shutting the light off and leaving the bathroom.

My mouth really was incredibly dry. I'd fought with myself for days and refused to eat or drink anything, but my body was telling me otherwise.

I needed water.

As I made my way into the kitchen, I decided not to turn the lights on just in case I woke somebody up.

Grabbing a glass from the cupboard, I turned the faucet and filled it up with cold water.

Water had never looked more appetizing.

As soon as the water touched my lips I began gulping it down. I could feel the dryness of my throat disappearing. I closed my eyes and hummed in appreciation.

Finishing, I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand a placed the glass in the sink.

I began to make my way back to the bedroom.

Just as I reached the hallway, I heard a voice.

"Its nice to see you up"

Sam.

He'd barely said two words to me since he'd told me the news.

I spun on my heel and made my way back into the living room.

I spotted him sitting on the sofa in the corner of the room, bottle of whiskey in hand.

He had a five o clock shadow, and bags under his eyes that could rival Jake's.

"Only so long you can go without water, right?"

He said nothing in return.

"So, I'm gonna go back to bed then" I told him.

"I can't remember the last time I slept" he whispered.

A huge part of me wanted to go back to bed and forget about everybody elses problems. On the other hand, wasn't it time that I started being there for others instead of pushing them away?

I made my way slowly over towards the sofa he was occupying. There was a tiny space on the end of it. I perched on the edge of it and crossed one leg over the other. Wrapping my arms around my torso, I just sat there and waited for him to speak.

"Emily's gone" he muttered, taking another swig from the bottle.

My head snapped up at his admission.

"Why?" I asked, dumbfounded.

Sam just looked down into his lap and clenched his jaw.

"We just needed some time apart. Its been a tough few weeks for everybody" he replied solemnly.

I just nodded and leaned back into the sofa.

"How are you doing Bella?" Sam asked me, turning to face me.

I shrugged and began to play with the zipper on the jumper. _His _jumper.

"Its going to take time, but you're being strong" he told me.

I just feigned a smile and nodded.

We sat there for what seemed like forever.

Both pining after what we'd lost.

The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy.

…...

Okay, so please review.

I haven't written anything in quite a while and I'm not sure if I'm doing very well at the moment.

Saying that, I really do hope you enjoyed it.

I apologise again for leaving you all hanging and taking forever to get the next chapter up.

Please let me know what you think

xxxxx


	27. Getting On With It

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. DAMN IT!**

**So, I'll be laying off Pauls point of veiw for a while. I have my reasons. I need to maintain some kind of mystery in this story! **

**Please review and let me know what you think of this chapter.**

**Enjoy!**

"How are you doing Bella?" Sam asked me, turning to face me.

I shrugged and began to play with the zipper on the jumper. _His _jumper.

"Its going to take time, but you're being strong" he told me.

I just feigned a smile and nodded.

We sat there for what seemed like forever.

Both pining after what we'd lost.

The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy.

**Bella POV**

Waking up for what seemed like the millionth time in Sams spare room, I stretched my arms above my head and let out a growl like moan.

"Good morning, Bella" I heard Sam say from the doorway.

"Oh, Hi" I replied solemnly.

My stomach growled at the smell of bacon from the kitchen.

"You need to eat" Sam told me.

"No, I dont want to eat" I replied, stubbornly.

Suddenly, without any warning at all, Sam scooped me up and threw my body over his shoulder.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I screeched, pounding my fists on his upper back.

"You need to eat. If you wont eat by choice, I'll force you" He replied calmly.

"Yeah, alright. Like you can force me to swallow" I laughed humorlessly.

Sam didnt reply. He just dropped me to my feet and pushed me into one of the chairs at the kitchen table. I just huffed and crossed my arms, leaning back into the chair.

I watched Sam as he removed the bacon from the pan and placed it onto a plate. He popped open the microwave and pulled out a bowl of oatmeal.

Placing it down in front of me, he sat in the chair directly in opposite me.

"I told you, I'm not eating this" I told him.

I knew I was being childish, pathetic and completely out of order. I knew that he was trying to help me, but I just didnt care.

"Bella, dont push me. Im telling you right now, if you dont eat that in the next thirty seconds I will ram it down you're god damn throat" He growled.

I was shocked at Sams outburst. I brought my knees up to my chest and grasped the spoon in my right hand, holding my torso with my left.

"Good girl" He praised as I scooped up a small spoonful of oatmeal.

"Ill get you some water to wash it down. Eat"

My stomach was borderline eating itself right now. I hadnt eaten in I dont know how long. As I brought the spoon up to my lips. The musty, vanilla smell of the oatmeal filled my nostrils, almost making me dizzy.

I wanted to eat it. I desperately needed to eat, but I just couldnt bring myself to physically do it.

Sam placed the glass of water in front of me and sat down in the chair next to me.

"Look, I dont want to baby you but you really look like you're struggling. Would you like me to feed you?" He asked me, a look of sheer sympathy on his face.

I didnt speak. I just nodded and tucked my legs beneath me as I adjusted my position on the chair.

Sam took the spoon from my fingers as he adjusted it in his own.

"Okay Bella, open up"

I parted my lips for him as he nudged them with the end of the spoon.

As he emptied the contents of the spoon into my mouth, my taste buds set themselves alight. It was by no means delicious, it was pretty dry and bland if I had to be honest, but being the first thing I'd eaten in so long it tasted like heaven.

I felt the oatmeal slide down my throat as I swallowed. For a split second I thought I might vomit, thats when Sam held out the water for me.

"Take a sip, not too much" He offered.

I gave him a small smile in thanks, sipping slowly from the glass.

Eventually, I managed to consume half of the bowl. Thats all it took to fill me up. I figured that my stomach must have shrunk from being depraved of food for so long.

"You did well. We'll try the same thing for dinner tonight, okay?" He asked me.

"Sure. I...thank you. You really didnt have to do that for me"

"Yes I did. I wont let you kill yourself over this. Its not what he would have wanted"

And there it was again. The undesribable pain that pinched at the very depths of my heart.

"Can I help you with anything today?" I asked quickly, before he walked out of the front door.

Sam stood still for a moment before turning around to face me.

"Actually, there is something. Only if you're feeling up to it though" He replied

"What is it?"

"Could you go and see Emily for me?" He asked me, his face pained.

"Uh, yeah sure. Where is she?"

"She's staying with Jared and Jess and his place" He told me.

Pauls house.

I hadnt been there since he'd been gone. I couldnt go there.

"Shit, Bella Im sorry. I didnt think. Dont worry about it, I'll go later when I've finished patrolling" He apologised.

"No! Its fine Sam. I have a couple of things that I probably need to collect anyway" I told him, giving him my best forced smile.

"Okay, well only if you're sure. I gotta run though, we still have to search for Quil. Im getting pretty worried about him" Sam confessed.

"Oh...Did you want me to make dinner for the guys? I havent exactly been useful lately and they havent been round in a while" She offered, wondering how she was mustering up the strength to do all of this.

"Uh, well only if you're up for it Bella. I'll ask the guys and see if they want to. They've all been pretty reserved since...well you know" He replied.

Bella just nodded and waved him off.

Wondering what to do with herself, she stepped back into the bedroom she had been occupying.

It stank. _She_ stank.

God, how could any of them bare to be around her.

She needed a bath. Her hair was flat and greasy. She smelt disgusting. There was no point in holding off any longer.

Bella made her way into the bathroom, clicking it shut behind her.

She turned the faucet on the hot tap, and waited for it to fill up.

Removing the sweaty old jumper from her body, she noticed her ribs pertruding more than normal. Her hip bones were jutting out way too far for her liking.

As she tied her hair up in a bun high on the top of her head, she saw the faint silvery scar on neck.

He'd left his mark on her. That was the one thing she'd always have of his and it meant everything to her.

Her fingers ghosted it and she shivered. It was such a sensitive spot.

Pulling down her jogging bottoms, she saw that her legs were in need of a damn good shave. Come to think of it, so were her armpits.

I know, who was going to see them right?

Bella Swan was many things, but she'd never been one to let herself go. Clearly, given the recent events she could forgive herself but now, she needed to take care of it.

Sinking into the hot water, she lay back against the the tub.

The warmth enveloped her body. Not the same heat as _he _had provided, but still it would do.

Looking around for products to use, she spotted a pink sponge on the corner of the bathtub and a bottle of honey & almond shampoo.

Popping the lid from the bottle, she lathered the shampoo in her hands and began rubbing it all over her body. As disgusting as it was, the water had already turned a murky shade of grey from the dirt that had been residing on her body.

Bella grabbed hold of what must have been Sams razor and began shaving her legs. Once finished, she repeated the motion and shaved her underarms.

Knowing that it was no use bathing in dirt, she pulled the plug from the hole and stood up.

Turning the shower on, she felt the warm water running all over her body. It felt nice. Normal.

She grabbed hold of the shampoo bottle once again and began to scrub her scalp frantically.

After washing it away and removing any sign of her preening, she wrapped a towel around herself and made her way back to the bedroom.

Drying herself, she pulled on a pair of clean underwear, a clean bra and delved further into her bag to fish out some clean clothes.

She pulled on her skinny jeans, although they now sagged a little from her body, and a loose fitted black tank top.

Towel drying her hair, she threw it up into a messy bun.

Feeling the slightest bit better about herself, she clasped her studs back into her earlobes and spritzed her underarms with deoderant.

"God, this is hard" She whispered to herself as she stared at her reflection in the dressing table mirror.

Looking around the room, she spotted the ridiculous amount of mess.

Pulling the dirty sheets away from the bed, she rolled them up in a ball and threw them into the hallway. She cleared up all of the dirty laundry and threw that out of the door too.

It wasnt until she came across _his _jumper that she stopped for a moment.

She couldnt smell him on the fabric anymore, but there was no way she was washing it. Not in a million years.

Folding it neatly, she placed it underneath the pillow at the head of the bed.

Trying desperately to forget her misery for just one moment, she walked back out of the bedroom, grabbed the dirty laundry and made her way into the kitchen.

She threw the laundry in the washing machine, switched it on and busied herself with the washing up.

Suddenly, the portable radio caught her eye.

Music.

It had been so long since she'd heard it.

Leaning over the counter, she switched it on at the mains and waited for the sound to come out.

It wasnt the radio, but a CD.

Lady Gaga.

How could she not smile a little. Even with the current circumstances, she needed a little light relief.

Swaying her hips gently from side to side, she hummed along to the lyrics as she washed the plates and bowls from breakfast this morning.

"Bells?"

The greeting made Bella jump.

"Jesus Jake, you scared the shit out of me" She whispered, silently calming her nerves.

She went to switch off the radio, but Jakes firm hand stopped her.

"No, you carry on with what you're doing. Its so good to see you out of bed. Seriously, you have no idea. Sam told me you ate this morning too and did you take a shower?" He asked, sounding a little shocked.

Belly nodded, rinsing away the bubbles from the glasses before placing them on the draining board.

"Good. Thats good. Did you want me to drive you over to see Emily? Sam told me you were going over there to keep her company for a little while. I know its going to be hard, but if you want, I'll come with you" He offered, smiling softly.

"Um, I'd really appreciate the ride over but I think I'd like go there on my own. So if you could drop me off and pick me up, that would be great Jake" She replied, once again forcing a smile.

"Sure thing, Bells. Just dont overdo it. Its going to take time to get things back to normal"

Back to normal. What was normal? She wasnt so sure.

"Just let me grab my shoes and we'll go, okay?" Bella suggested.

Jake just nodded and delved into the fridge.

"Oh, that reminds me. I'd like to cook dinner for the pack tonight. I know I havent been much use lately" She said, coyly.

"Dont be ridiculous. You were hardly in any state to do anything and its completely understandable. _If_ you feel up to cooking, how about some of those meatballs?"

She couldnt help but laugh a little at him.

She didnt really know where she'd be if she didnt have Jake. He really was her closest friend now and she wasnt going to fuck it up by being a zombie.

…...

**So, I know its shorter than most of the other chapters but I just wanted to show Bella getting back to herself a little.**

**And I know what you're all thinking, never in a million years would I allow Bella and Jake to get together in this story. Its not happening. They love eachother dearly, but its purely platonic for Bella at least. **

**Also, Im trying to bring out a softer side of Sam than we usually see in some of the fics around.**

**NEXT UP**

**Bella goes to see Emily. **

**It doesnt quite go as smoothly as expected though.**

**Its confession time. **


	28. Authors Note

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I only own the plot. So dont steal it please :)**

**Okay, so I never do this but until the reveiws start picking up on this story, I think Im gonna put it on hold. Its really difficult to find the motivation to write when not many people seem to appreciate the effort it takes. **

**I know a few you probably think I'm a bit cheeky for posting this, but the writers out there will completely understand where I'm coming from. **

**Thanks to the people that do review! I appreciate it more than you know! **

**xxxxxxxx**


	29. Next chapter up tomorrow!

I probably should have stated myself a little more clearly.

I've had a few emotional issues lately. I dont really feel appreciated by many people at the moment. The main place I get my confidence from is here and my writing.

I dont plan to stop the story.

I love it with all my heart and soul.

I pour everything I have into it. I would never stop because a few people dont bother reviewing. Its just frustrating when you spend hours writing one chapter and not many people show their appreciation.

I am so thankful that it gets read. And Im even more thankful for the people that look forward to it.

So, that being said, I've had time to think about it.

I've had a long chat with my partner.

I know that I'm talented and I know that I love these characters.

So I will continue, because to be quite frank, Im not ready to give up on you guys yet.

Next chapter should be up tomorrow.

I love you all, so much.

Xxxxxxxxx

P.s...Guess who's coming home?


	30. Progressions, Revelations & Him

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. I only own the plot.**

**Okay, so after my total meltdown yesterday its safe to say that I feel stupid. I just let my emotions get the best of me sometimes. **

**Thanks to those of you that have reveiwed and favourited this story. It means the world to me.**

**Now, at the end of this chapter some of you will love me and I guarantee that some of you will most definitely hate me. Let me know what you think.**

**Bella POV**

The drive over seemed to take a lifetime.

I was quiet. I couldnt bring myself to speak knowing that I was going to be in that house.

Jake had noticed my emotional battle and stayed silent.

"So, if you want me to come and get you, all you have to do is call okay?" He reassured, pulling up to the house.

"Yeah, thanks" I replied, snapping myself out of my thoughts.

I felt Jakes warm hand on my shoulder as he tried to support me. Turning to him, I smiled softly.

"I just wanted you to know that I really appreciate you being there for me lately. I know we lost contact but its good to know that I've got you watching my back" I told him, squeezing his hand.

"I'll always be here for you, Bella" He replied, as I opened the door.

I just nodded and stepped foot out of the car. The rain was pouring down around me.

Looking up at the house as Jake drove off, I tried my hardest to convince myself that I was strong enough to go in there. I felt the tie to this house in my heart. It was pulling at my heart strings desperately.

I let out a large puff of air before picking my feet up and walking slowly towards the front door.

Strangely, I felt the urge to knock, which was completely irrational.

Standing on the porch, I felt my heart beating against my ribcage. I couldnt explain the feeling that rushed through me at that moment. I felt _connected _to him. Physically, emotionally connected. It almost felt like he was _here._ He wasnt.

Reaching out for the door handle, I pushed it down and nudged the door open slightly.

Taking my first step through the front door, the smell hit me like a tonne of bricks. I knew that Jared, Jess and Emily had been staying here but all I could smell was Paul. I could feel the tears stinging my eyes but I did my best to blink them away.

I was here to see Emily.

I walked into the living room. It was empty.

I spotted Pauls guitar in the corner of the room. He'd never played it for me. He had always promised that one day he would.

Walking over to the shelf in the corner of the room, I spotted the notebook that contained his drawings. Picking it up, I opened it to the very last page.

My breath caught in my throat as my eyes scanned over the image before me.

It was a drawing of Paul and I, both naked and tangled up in eachother.

His hands in my hair, my hands raking down his back just like they always did. He really had been an exquisite artist. I would take this with me. This was mine.

"Bella"

I jumped slightly upon hearing the timid voice behind me.

"Oh, hey Emily" I greeted back.

"Did Sam send you over here?" She asked me, looking incredibly nervous.

"Yeah, he's patrolling so I just thought I'd come and see if you were okay?" It came out as a question, because she certainly didnt _look_ okay.

Emily just nodded and turned on her heel, walking into the kitchen.

"Emily, why did you leave Sam?" I asked, following behind her.

I felt the pain pang at my heart when I spotted a photo of Paul and I pinned to the fridge. I reached out towards it, pulling it gently away from the surface. Lifting my free hand, I traced my index finger over the image of his face. That smile. We looked blissful in the photograph. The pinacle of happiness.

"I didnt want to leave him, Bella. He pushed me away" She replied.

I shoved the photograph into my back pocket. There was no way I was leaving without that either.

Emily took a seat at the kitchen table, fiddling with the hem of her shirt she just kept her gaze to the ground.

"I dont understand. You're his imprint. He _loves _you. He could never push you away"

"He knows what I did, Bella" She confessed.

Although for a second, I had no idea what she was talking about.

_"Its okay, really it is. I did some things that I'm not proud of either. I made some stupid choices when we were apart. I can never take back what I did and he can never find out" she told me._

_"What did you do?" I asked her._

_"I…I slept with somebody else" she mumbled._

"Oh, but surely he should consider his own actions before he judges you. He slept with _Leah_. Of all the people, her. Isnt't he being a little hypocritical?" I asked.

I could see the tears glistening in Emilys eyes as she shrugged.

"Emily? I know that somethings not right here" I told her.

Just as she went to open her mouth, Jared entered the kitchen.

"Hey Bella!" He smiled.

"Hey J" I smiled back.

"Are you okay? You know, being here?" He asked cautiously.

I took a moment before answering.

"Actually, its kinda nice to be around his stuff" I smiled, possibly the first genuine smile in a long time.

Jared squeezed my shoulder gently before delving into the fridge to get a drink.

"Want anything, Bella?" He asked.

"Oh, no thanks" I replied.

"Hey man, can you grab me a soda?"

I turned my head to see Sam standing in the doorway.

Emilys head shot up. Her eyes burning into him.

He didnt even look at her.

"Sure.." Jared answered, rolling his eyes.

He took a coke out of the fridge and threw it to Sam.

Silence. Nothing but the sound of cans opening and drinks being gulped filled the air.

"I'm going to go upstairs and grab a few things, I'll leave you guys to it" I told them, motioning for Jared to follow me.

As I walked up the stairs, my heartrate picked up once again.

Standing outside of the bedroom. The bedroom that we had shared together, I felt a warm palm on my shoulder.

"Do you want me to come in with you?" Jared asked.

"I'll be okay. I think this is something that I have to do on my own. Thank you though, I really appreciate the thought" I replied.

He just nodded and walked into his bedroom, closing the door behind him.

I sucked in a large breath and opened the door.

His scent hit me like a tonne of bricks.

I rushed inside the door, closing it behind me immediately before I had the chance to change my mind. Clenching my eyes shut, I sat down on the very edge of the bed.

"_I love you, Bella"_

My eyes snapped open. It was only a matter of time before I started hearing voices.

It sounded so real. So_ fucking _real.

I felt the tears prickle my eyes once again, but I didnt wipe them away this time.

Looking around, I saw everything was exactly the way we had left it. There was just a light covering of dust on all of the furniture.

I picked up the pillow next to me and brought it up to my nose. God, it smelt like him.

I wanted to take everything from this room with me back to Sam's house, but I couldnt. I certainly wasnt ready to move back in here, but I knew that I couldnt stay at Sam and Emilys place forever. I didnt really see an option for me to move back in with Charlie either.

I sat there for a while to take everything in. After a few more moments, I stood up and began to gather a few items that I needed to take with me. Fresh clothes, old memories etc...

It wasnt until I had nearly finished that I heard shouting coming from downstairs. Grabbing my bag, I headed down the stairs. It was until I heard Pauls name that I stopped.

"You fucked him, Emily!" I heard Sam shout.

My heart fell into the pit of my stomach.

"Shut up! I've told you so many times how sorry I am. Just stop. Bella will hear you" Emily spoke back, nowhere near as loudly.

"Of course, you wouldnt want her to know the real reason he stayed behind"

I fell against the wall a little, dropping my bag as I went.

"Bella" I heard Emily whisper.

I snapped my head up to look at her. I no longer saw the Emily that I cared for and trusted. All I saw was betrayal.

"You _fucked_ him" I said calmly. Too calmly.

She said nothing, just nodded.

"YOU FUCKED HIM? He was mine!" I yelled, the pain evident in my voice.

"It was before you, Bella. I swear it was before you!" She cried.

That didnt matter to me. She had still lied to me. Betrayed me.

"What did you mean the real reason he stayed behind?" I asked, directing my glare at Sam.

"Bella, it doesnt matter" He whispered, walking towards me slowly.

"Tell me what you meant" I pushed, gritting my teeth.

He just sighed and sat down on the sofa, his head in his hands.

"I left him there" He muttered.

No.

"No. You could never..." I whispered back incoherantly.

"He knew what he was doing. He tried to provoke me into leaving him. Into _hating_ him. I only realised that after I left" Sam told me, the devastation evident in his eyes.

"Why didnt you go back for him? Why didnt you save him?" I screeched.

"The redheaded leech had the outskirts of Washington surrounded. If we went back, she was going to send them all to La Push. People would have died. Innocent people would have been slaughtered"

"Paul was innocent! He didnt do anything! Why did they want him? Why did _he_ have to stay?"

"I dont think you want to know, Bella" Sam told me, sounding certain of himself.

"I want to know. I want to know now" I demanded.

"She wanted him because Cullen killed her mate, for you" Sam whispered.

I felt my vision hazing, I felt so dizzy.

He died for me.

This was _my _fault.

If it wasnt for me, Paul would still be alive.

"I have to go" I mumbled, scrambling towards the door.

"Bella, please.." I cut Emily off before she could finish.

"Stay the hell away from me. I _never_ want to see you again" I growled, shocking myself.

I ripped open the door and ran out of it.

I tripped on the bottom step of the porch, falling into the puddle. I quickly clambered back up to my feet, running as fast as I could towards the woods.

"BELLA" I heard Sam shout.

I wasnt stopping. Not for anybody.

The wind ripped through me, chilling me completely.

The rain had drenched me in a matter of seconds.

"BELLA! COME BACK!" Sam shouted again.

Never. I wouldnt stop.

However, it was only a matter of time before Sam caught up with me. I was no match for his speed.

He gripped the back of my jeans, pulling me to the ground with him. I tried to get away but he pinned both of my shoulders to the ground with his hands.

Staring up at his eyes, I felt nothing but hatred.

"Im sorry I didnt tell you, Bella. Im so sorry I didnt go back" He confessed.

I rolled around the saliva in my mouth and spat it in his face.

"I hate you Sam Uley. I hope you know that. I _fucking_ hate you and you're pathetic imprint"

Suddenly, he gripped my jaw between his thumb and his index finger.

"Dont" He growled.

"What? Where you not good enough for her? Pauls a damn good lover. In fact, she could probably tell you all about it. Why dont you go and ask her, huh? I bet he gave it to her good" I laughed humorlessly.

I could see the anger growing in his eyes. I wanted to hurt him. He had taken what was mine away from me and I wanted to rip his heart to pieces.

"What? Cat got you're tongue, Sam? I'd be one to bet that you're skills are no match for Pauls. Is that why she strayed, huh? Could you not give her what she needed?"

All the while I was talking, I didnt notice his face getting closer and closer to mine. His breath tickled my skin and I wasnt comfortable with it.

"Can you get the hell off me?" I shouted.

He didnt reply, just stared at me intently for what seemed like forever.

"You still dont get it do you? Given the choice, who the _hell_ would take you over Paul? Imprint or not, I know who I'd choose" I laughed again, desperately trying to savagely devastate him.

"You little cunt" He growled.

Before I could respond, his lips were on mine. Everything in me wanted this man off of me. I was pushing and clawing.

Suddenly, a gut wrenching pain ripped through the very depths of my body. I felt like my insides had been set on fire. My head was pounding and all I wanted was for him to get off of me.

The scar on my neck started to sting immensley. I wanted to tear my throat out, it was that unbearable.

Sam finally realised that something was wrong as he pulled his crushing lips away from mine.

"Bella, what the hell? Bella! You're going blue" He panicked.

I tried to lift my head from the ground, but I just couldnt manage it. I couldnt breathe. I felt like I was being suffocated.

I laid my head on the ground, silently praying that I wasnt dying.

It wasn't until my body had calmed that I spotted an angel on the edge of the treeline. I was dying, but it was okay. My eyes were blurred and my eyes were closing but I could see him.

"Paul..." I whispered incoherantly.

I would be going with Paul.

…...

**Oh god, please let me know how I did. **

**I know its a total cliffhanger, but I didnt want to take this chapter any further. **

**I wont keep you waiting long for the next one though.**

**Eeeeee...Im scared of you're responses lol.**

**Thank you for reading xxxxx**


	31. Blinded In Chains

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. Hmmph...**

**Thank you to everybody thats reviewed, favourited and added this story to their alerts. It really means a lot to me. **

**Anyway, on with the show.**

**Very nervous about this chapter so PLEASE let me know what you think.**

Sam finally realised that something was wrong as he pulled his crushing lips away from mine.

"Bella, what the hell? Bella! You're going blue" He panicked.

I tried to lift my head from the ground, but I just couldnt manage it. I couldnt breathe. I felt like I was being suffocated.

I laid my head on the ground, silently praying that I wasnt dying.

It wasn't until my body had calmed that I spotted an angel on the edge of the treeline. I was dying, but it was okay. My eyes were blurred and my eyes were closing but I could see him.

"Paul..." I whispered incoherantly.

Jake POV

This wasnt happening.

Bella was slipping away from us.

I had found her laying on the ground. Cold, wet through and convulsing violently outside of Jareds place.

Sam had been sat close by, just watching her.

Entranced by her state.

It had taken hours for us to move him.

Bella hadnt opened her eyes at all since we'd returned her to the house. Her breathing would hitch occasionally, but despite that she still wasnt concious. She still wasnt warming up.

The scar on her neck was swollen and had turned a shade of cherry red.

Jessica was in hysterics.

Emily was just as broken as Sam, but they hadnt spoken a word to eachother since we'd brought her back.

Jared was frantic and sure that there was something more to her condition.

I had called my Dad a little over an hour ago. I had begged him to gather all of the elders and research exactly what had happened to her.

I physically couldnt remove myself from her side. All I could do was watch her and pray that she didnt fade away.

"Jacob..." I heard Sam whisper.

Turning my head to look at him, I saw nothing but guilt. It was coming off of him in waves. Why was he feeling guilty?

"Sam..." I responded, nodding my head towards the empty armchair across from the bed.

He slumped into the chair as his gaze remained on Bella. On her lifeless body.

"You need to tell me what the hell happened out there, Sam" I told him, the frustration evident in my voice.

"I..." He choked, on what sounded like tears.

"I need to know what happened to her. Shes...she's not getting any better and I just dont understand how this happened"

Sam POV

I couldnt of imagined it.

I could never of imagined the look of pain on his face.

The way he looked at her, the way he looked at me.

I hadnt even been able to speak about it. About him.

Bella was out cold. Nothing could rouse her.

Jacob had bathed her in warm water. Nothing.

Cried in devastation over her condition. Still nothing.

Yet here I was, not divulging the information.

Sitting in this damn armchair, just staring at her.

Her skin was pale. Much paler than normal.

Her lips were no longer rosy and pink. The colour had been replaced by an icy blue tint.

Her cheeks no longer held the blush that everybody had grown to love.

"I need to know what happened to her. Shes...she's not getting any better and I just dont understand how this happened" Jake asked me.

For a moment, I said nothing.

Because truthfully, I had no idea what had caused this reaction within her.

"I...I kissed her" I muttered.

Jakes head immediately snapped up at my admission. He looked angry.

I was the Alpha, but we both knew that one day he would take that role. I had a feeling that after this, it certainly wouldnt be long until that happened.

"You did what?" He growled, looking me directly in the eye.

"I dont know what came over me. She said all these terrible things about me, about Emily. Something inside of me just snapped and believe me, I hate myself" I confessed, feeling that oh so familiar lump in my throat.

Jake said nothing, but he didnt take his eyes off of me either.

"Outside" He whispered, all too calmly.

"What?" I asked, confused by his order.

"I want to see what happened. Outside"

Jake pulled himself up from the floor where he'd been kneeling next to Bella and made his way out of the room.

I waited a moment before standing up.

My gaze travelled over her one more time. Wracking myself with guilt, I left the room.

As I walked onto the front porch, I saw Jakes russet furred wolf standing before me.

Without even bothering to take my shorts off, I burst into my wolf and walked towards Jake.

"_Show me what happened"_

"_**Jake..." **_

"_Sam, show me what happened. Now"_

So I did.

I thought of the events in my mind.

Bella screaming at Emily and I inside the house.

Bella running out of the front door.

Bella tripping and falling on the steps leading off the porch.

Me tackling her to the floor and pinning her beneath me.

Her terrified eyes as I brought my face closer to hers.

The thought of it disgusted me. How could I have done that to her? To Emily. I wasnt the type to force myself on a woman, let alone my brothers imprint.

"_Sam..." _Jake urged, growing impatient.

I projected the image of my lips on hers, albeit unwilling.

A growl erupted from within him and he witnessed her struggling and fighting to get me away from her.

Remembering it now, the reality of what I had done felt like one hundred daggers stabbing me over and over.

I thought of the moment that I'd realised something was wrong.

Bella shaking beneath me, desperately clawing at her neck.

Bellas haunted eyes, rolling into the back of her head.

The sudden peace that washed over her as she relaxed and let her head fall to the ground.

The image of my brother, torment lurking in his eyes.

"_What the hell was that?" _Jake asked, dumbfounded.

I couldnt do this. I couldnt show him anything else.

I phased within a second, unable to put myself through the emotional strain of going any further.

"Sam...thats impossible" Jake whispered from behind me.

My shoulders hung in defeat as I shook my head.

"Paul..." Jake mumbled.

"He was there for a second, but then he was gone"

Suddenly, the sickly smell of bleach filled my nostrils.

Leech.

**Bella POV**

I could hear voices around me.

They were argueing amongst themselves.

I couldnt remember what had happened to me. All I remembered was his face.

His _beautiful _face.

The anguish that I felt deep within me was unbearable. Was he really there?

"You cant go in there, damn it" Jake?

"I understand you're worry, but I know that I can help" The voice silky and smooth, with that all familiar southern drawl.

There had only ever been one person in my life from Texas, but it couldnt be? Not Jasper.

Edwards family had always intrigued me. All of them more beautiful than the last. Jasper and I had grown pretty close back when I was with Edward. We had the same interests in American history and music. He couldnt possibly be here.

"You cannot help. You have no idea whats happened" Jake again.

"I caused this" He spoke, determined as ever.

I heard nothing but forceful whispers and rumbling growls.

"Just let me try something, I wont even need to touch her"

All of a sudden, I felt an intense amount of love wash over me. It was calming and made my heart flutter. Love was overtaken by lust and jealousy, the lust pooling between my thighs while the jealousy threatened to tear me apart. I wasnt in control of my emotions at all.

Then came the worst of all.

Anger.

My body jolted upright as I gripped the sheets between my palms. I couldnt open my eyes, but I desperately wanted to avenge something. Someone. What was happening to me? Why was I feeling this pain? My heart felt like it was threatening to shatter into a million pieces.

Then came the powerful sorrow. The feeling of complete and utter loss.

And I was broken.

Falling back onto the sheets, I could feel my body falling into deep despair.

The acheing spot on my neck, stinging once again.

Jake POV 

"What the hell was that?" I asked, completely baffled from the sight that had just taken place before me.

"You're brother is alive" The blonde leech confessed.

"Thats not even possible" I told him, laughing humorlessly.

He began to pace the floor in front of me, his silver scars shimmering in the moonlight. He was covered. If I'd had average eyesight, I probably wouldnt have been able to see them. They looked like war wounds. Battle scars.

"He is alive, I brought him here. He's not exactly in the right frame of mind however. He doesnt seem to be able to think clearly. His emotions are all over the place. His instincts have taken over. Hes feral, almost" He told me, his golden eyes boring into mine.

"How? I just...I dont understand" I said, shaking my head in wonderment.

"My brother, Edward went after him. To help him. He feigned interest in the enemy in order to gain her trust. All to help you're pack brother. My family and I arrived a couple of days later, but it wasnt easy to get him out of there. We managed to take down fifty or so of the newborns, but there are still a couple of dozen out there. We took down the redhead. The leader"

He took an unecessary breath before continuing.

"Something snapped in you're brother before we left, his mind was no longer penetrable. His emotions were difficult to control. He only seemed to want one thing and that was to come straight back home. Im assuming that might have had something to do with Bella" He explained.

There were so many questions that I needed to ask, but I had no idea where to start.

"You said that you caused her to be in this state?" I urged.

"Yes, when he came across you're alpha and his mate, I'm afraid he might have taken it the wrong way. I can see why, he _was_ all over her. It wasnt my intention to push all of his emotions onto her like I did, but sometimes I am not in total control of my gift. Being in his personal space at that moment was crushing, even for me. I dont know where he's gone exactly. I thought it best to let him take some time to piece himself back together again"

I took a large breath before blowing it back out again.

"I have no idea what to do" I muttered.

Please Taha Aki, just give me a sign.

"Jacob..." I heard Jessica whisper as she cautiously popped her head round the door.

Just as I was about to speak, I held my finger up to demand silence from the leech and Jessica.

The only thing that filled my ears was a light sound. Just a small one.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

What the hell was that?

I looked up at the leech as he seemed to silently understand where I was coming from.

His gaze shifted to Bella, who was still laying lifelessly on the bed.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

It wasnt a fast beat, but it was steady.

"Jacob..." The leech spoke.

How could I have not noticed this before?

How the hell did I miss this?

The amount of times that Bella and I had been in the same room together, as silent as mice and I hadnt picked up on this.

"She's pregnant"

…...

**Okay, so no Paul in this chapter :( **

**So, who guessed that Bella was pregnant? If you remember a few chapters back, she had chronic sickness. **

**For me, its the perfect thing to bring the wolves and the 'leeches' together, so that they can work together. **

**Of course its Jasper in the room with them. **

**I dont know how you feel about him causing Bellas state. **

**Let me know what you think, please.**

**Next chapter will feature Paul and the reunion that we've all been waiting for.**

**Please review and let me know what you thought.**

**Thanks for reading xxxxx**


	32. Closer

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. I do own the plot. So don't steal it. 'Kay thanks :) **

**The only thing that filled my ears was a light sound. Just a small one.**

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

_What the hell was that?_

_I looked up at the leech as he seemed to silently understand where I was coming from._

_His gaze shifted to Bella, who was still laying lifelessly on the bed._

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

_It wasn't a fast beat, but it was steady._

_"Jacob..." The leech spoke._

_How could I have not noticed this before?_

_How the hell did I miss this?_

_The amount of times that Bella and I had been in the same room together, as silent as mice and I hadn't picked up on this._

_"She's pregnant"_

Bella POV

I awoke from my forced slumber, my stomach growling ferociously.

Opening my eyes, I adjusted to the moonlight searing in from behind the curtain. That black, satin curtain. I was in Paul's bedroom. _Our _bedroom.

I sat up slowly, rubbing my eyes with the backs of my hands. Stretching my arms above my head, I felt my spine crack slightly giving me light relief from the joint pain that had been plaguing my body lately.

Looking around me, I spotted the picture of us beside the bed. I had taken it on our little camping trip in the woods. The week before he'd gone away.

My eyes were gleaming from the orange glow of the campfire. His beaming smile glared back at me. That smile had always dazzled me. He was always so beautiful.

Suddenly, I heard something smash in the kitchen followed by the scuttle of feet and a few whispers of frustration.

I recognised the whispers to be that of Jess and Jake.

Not wanting to hide away any longer, I lifted my legs to the side of the bed and shrugged off the blanket that had been wrapped around me. I couldn't seem to remember how I'd come to acquire it though. Come to think of it, I didn't remember much at all.

I ruffled my hair in confusion as I steadily pulled myself to my feet. Checking myself in the dressing table mirror, I straightened out my hair and made myself towards the door.

Pushing down the door handle, I nudged the door a little and made my way towards the staircase. Slowly tip toe-ing down the stairs, I could hear Jess and Jake comically arguing with each other. It brought a slight smile to my face. Another of the very few _real _smiles in recent weeks.

As I reached the bottom step, I heard it creek beneath my foot.

"Hey Bella" Jess greeted me, almost nervously.

"Hi" I croaked back, my throat feeling like sandpaper from lack of fluid.

I watched her as she scurried towards the sink to fill up a glass with fresh water. Skipping over to me, she placed it in my hand.

"Thanks" I smiled.

I gulped down the glass of water instantly, enjoying the feeling of it gliding down my throat.

Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I placed the empty glass down onto the kitchen counter.

Looking up at the two of them leaning against the opposite counter, I knew that something wasn't right.

"What's wrong?" I asked them, the confusion evident on my face.

For a moment, neither of them spoke. Not until I cleared my throat and raised my brow at them.

"How are you feeling, Bella?" Jake asked, taking a stride towards me.

"All things considered, I'm fine. I am absolutely fucking starving however" I tried to joke, but neither of them laughed.

Jess swung open the fridge door and pulled out a packet of bacon and two eggs. She placed them on the counter and handed Jake a carton of fresh orange juice.

"Jacob, you pour Bella some orange juice. I'm making her some supper. Bella, sit" She demanded, gently shoving me onto the stool next to the counter.

Rolling my eyes, I crossed my arms and rested my elbows on the counter top.

I watched as they moved around each other, both getting on with their individual tasks. I might as well have not even been there. Neither of them would make eye contact with me and other than the few words that had been spoken to me, there was no conversation.

Jake slid a glass full of orange juice in front of me and sat down next to me, but he still wouldn't look at me.

"Okay, can somebody fill me in on what's going on please?" I asked them both.

I watched the two of them as they made eye contact with one another. Jess sucked her lip in between her teeth and Jake lowered his head, staring down at the marble covering the counter top.

"Don't you remember anything from today?" Jake whispered from beside me.

Today?

"I...Of course I do. I got up this morning, took a shower. I ate something and then I came here..." I trailed off.

I couldn't remember anything after I'd arrived at the house this afternoon. Why couldn't I remember?

Closing my eyes, I furrowed my brow in frustration and pinched the bridge of my nose between my fingertips. My brain was racing, desperately trying to figure out the missing pieces of the puzzle. I pushed and I pushed, but I just _couldn't _remember anything else.

"Jacob" I heard Jess mutter.

Looking up at his face, I saw the emotional turmoil in his eyes. I knew that there was something he had to tell me.

"Seriously, I'm starting to get really freaked out. Why the hell can't I remember anything?"

I watched as Jake took a large breath and prepared himself to speak.

"Bella...Don't you remember what happened with Sam and Emily this afternoon?" He asked me, his eyes pleading for understanding.

"I can't remember anything" I whispered, to myself more than anybody else.

Feeling the tears wading to the surface, I wiped them away before they had the chance to fall. Jake wrapped a comforting arm around my shoulder and gave me a tight squeeze.

"Please Jake, tell me what's going on. I'm so confused. I know that I'm missing something in my mind but I just can't place it. I can feel some kind of niggling feeling in my stomach. What's even weirder, is that I feel better. I actually feel _better. _The stupid thing is that I don't like it. I had almost begun to like the pain of losing Paul. It meant that he was still there..." I explained, prodding my chest just a little to the left of where my heart resided.

"And now that I feel a little better, I hate it. I don't understand it. He's gone but I feel like he's here. I feel like the hole in my chest is filling more and more by the second. How is that possible?" I asked, begging Jake for answers that were impossible to be given.

Jess placed the plate down in front of me. Eggs, bacon and French toast. Picking up a slice of toast, I ripped a piece off and began to nibble it as I stared down at the reflection of the kitchen light on the counter top.

"You need to eat. Finish you're plate and I'll explain what happened this afternoon. I promise" Jake assured me, giving me a final squeeze before standing up and walking out onto the porch.

"Bella, eat up. Remember, I'm here for you" Jess whispered as she hopped up onto the counter beside me.

I just nodded and continued to pick at my meal.

You would have thought that I'd have stuffed it all into my mouth at once, desperate to know what Jake had to say. No. If anything, I was actually feeling a little nervous. Quite scared. Certainly cautious.

I must of been sitting there for at least half an hour before Jake came back into the house. My head snapped up to meet his gaze as he looked down at my plate and nodded. A small part of me felt like I was being treated like a child but the other, much bigger part of me was grateful. Without these people in my life, who knows whether or not I'd have survived the last few weeks.

Stepping down onto the floor, I shuffled towards the sink and disposed of my cutlery.

"Bella, come sit with me?" Jake asked, standing in front of the sofa.

I nodded my head, wrapping my arms around my torso as I walked towards him. Sitting down on the sofa, I pulled my knees up to my chest and relaxed into the cushions.

"Jacob Black, tell me what's going on" I urged.

He leant forward and rested his elbows on his knees.

"You found out that Emily slept with Paul this afternoon" He spoke, staring down at the floor.

I couldn't help it, I laughed.

Jake immediately looked up at me with a confused look on his face.

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard" I told him.

"Actually Bella, he is telling the truth"

I turned around to find Sam leaning against the front door frame. The seriousness in his eyes shocked me to the core.

"No, I don't think so" I refused, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I chased you out of the house Bella, I chased you and I forced myself on you" Sam confessed.

I laughed again, this time a little less enthusiastically.

"You're both insane. I may not remember what happened this afternoon, but I know you'd never do that to me Sam" I told him, raising my voice slightly.

Jake wrapped his hands around mine and turned his body to face me. I looked straight into his eyes and immediately saw the anguish that lay there.

"Bella, please. I don't know what's going on. I don't know why you can't remember anything. The only thing I can think of is that maybe you're minds blocking out the trauma. You have to believe me. If you don't accept this, I don't know how you're going to handle the next part..." He trailed off, his lips twitching slightly.

"What? What do you mean the _next _part?" I asked him, pulling my hands away from his.

Sam stepped in front of me and sat down in front of me, perching on the coffee table. He looked straight at Jake and then back at me.

"Please try. Try and remember. I hate myself for doing what I did, you have no idea. I need you to try and remember what happened. Push yourself, Bella" Sam urged me.

I closed my eyes tightly and gripped the sofa cushion beneath me.

I tried. I really did. I just couldn't remember anything.

Suddenly, I felt the piercing pain of betrayal rip through me. I broke out into sobs almost immediately. I could feel my brain pulsing beneath my skull. I gripped my hair between my fingertips and tugged. A gut wrenching cry escaped my lips as I collapsed in a heap on the floor.

"_What? Cat got you're tongue, Sam? I'd be one to bet that you're skills are no match for Paul's. Is that why she strayed, huh? Could you not give her what she needed?" _

"_You little cunt"_

I only saw one thing.

It shocked me to the core. I stilled, desperately trying to search my memory for anything else. I saw the ferocity in his face. His eyes screamed the pain he was feeling. My heart broke all over again in recalling it. The metaphorical hole in my chest ripped open.

"Paul" I whimpered as I pulled myself back up onto the sofa.

"He's alive, Bella" Jake whispered.

I couldn't respond. My mind wouldn't let me. It was too much. Too much to accept.

For weeks I had mourned the loss of my love. My best friend.

"He's telling the truth, Bella. I was there. I saw him..." Sam started.

"Where? Where is he?" I asked, the urgency kick starting my adrenaline.

"I don't know. He just went. I've had Jared out there searching for him for a while now. We'll find him, Bella. I promise we'll find him" Sam told me, rubbing gentle circles on my upper back.

"No, I have to go to him. He'll need me, I have to go" I whispered, mostly to myself.

I jumped up from the sofa and pulled my boots on. Not bothering to grab my jacket, I headed straight for the front door.

"Its freezing out there, Bella. Jared will find him eventually" Jake tried to reason.

"No! I am going. I'm not part of this pack. Neither of you can order me around. I am going to find him. He needs me and I'm sick to death of being useless and helpless. I will find him, if it takes me all night I'll find him. Now back off and let me go!" I shouted, seeing the shock on both of their faces as I did so.

I turned on my heel and swung the front door open.

I had no idea how I'd managed to stay this calm. Everything in me wanted to shatter. I felt the urge to smile, cry, laugh and break. My lover. My wolf. He was alive and he needed me.

I guess its true what they say about the legends.

I would be whatever he needed me to be. I would _do_ whatever he needed me to do.

This wasn't the first time I'd had to be strong for him and if I had my way, it wouldn't be the last.

I picked up my pace, running towards the tree line. There was only one thing waiting to escape my lips.

"Paul!"

**How did I do? Let me know please. **

**I'm worried that I'm losing it with this story. **

**There's not long to go now so I'm starting to get anxious over the ending. **

**Thanks for reading!"**


	33. I'm Gonna Crawl

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. Boohoo.**

**I hope you all like it. Feel free to let me know what you think at the end. **

"No! I am going. I'm not part of this pack. Neither of you can order me around. I am going to find him. He needs me and I'm sick to death of being useless and helpless. I will find him, if it takes me all night I'll find him. Now back off and let me go!" I shouted, seeing the shock on both of their faces as I did so.

I turned on my heel and swung the front door open.

I had no idea how I'd managed to stay this calm. Everything in me wanted to shatter. I felt the urge to smile, cry, laugh and break. My lover. My wolf. He was alive and he needed me.

I guess its true what they say about the legends.

I would be whatever he needed me to be. I would _do_ whatever he needed me to do.

This wasn't the first time I'd had to be strong for him and if I had my way, it wouldn't be the last.

I picked up my pace, running towards the tree line. There was only one thing waiting to escape my lips.

"Paul!"

**Bella POV**

I crossed the tree line within seconds.

I could barely see the ground in front of me as I ran. The only light provided was that of the moon.

Looking up as I ran, I could see no clouds in the sky.

My emotions were all over the place and I could barely think straight. I was desperately trying to figure out where he would be. Unless he had gone away again? There was only so far my feet would carry me. Especially in this cold. It was bitter and it pinched at my bare skin.

I could hear the twigs breaking and the leaves rustling as I pounded my feet on the ground.

"Paul!" I yelled, my voice full of desperation.

I could hear nothing but my desperate plea's echoing all around me. Behind the relief that my wolf was still alive, my heart was terrified that he had run away from me because he didn't want me any more.

Surely he would of come back to me by now.

I ran further, dodging trees as I went.

"Baby, please! You must be able to hear me!" I cried out, slowing my pace to catch my breath.

Nothing. Not even so much as a distant howl. I had no idea how far I'd run, but I needed to stop.

My calves were aching and my heart was pounding. My brain was racing. I couldn't seem to calm myself down. I needed to be able to think clearly. To find him.

I rested my back against a tree trunk and sank down, pulling my knees up against my chest. The moonlight shone down in front of me, I could probably see for five or six metres. After that, it was pitch black.

Desperately trying to think of where he could be, I felt tears prickling at my eyes. It was hopeless. I would never find him. I couldn't see anything. I didn't have an enhanced sense of smell. I couldn't track a kitten, let alone a lone wolf.

Sobbing quietly, I rested my head on my knees.

"I miss you"

I didn't know if he was listening or not, but if by some chance he could hear me...

"I thought you weren't coming back. They said you weren't coming back. I could never really accept it, but I had to. I've been so lost without you. Sometimes, I'd wake up in the middle of the night and forget that you weren't there..." I trailed off.

A harsh sob escaped my lips as I remembered just how painful the last few weeks had been.

"I just want you to come back to me" I cried, sobbing uncontrollably.

All of a sudden, I felt the wind sweep around me causing me to shiver.

I heard a noise.

A slow rumble.

A growl?

I froze, not wanting to look up in case I was wrong.

"Look up, Bella" I whispered to myself, pleading with myself to just look up.

Slowly, I lifted up my head. My bangs still covered my eyes.

Brushing the hair away from my face I was met with the most beautiful pair of eyes. _His eyes._

The man stood before me, not the wolf.

I was shocked by his appearance. His hair was slightly longer now. His eyes were sunken in and slightly hollow. I could see scarring on his left shoulder. A cluster of tiny marks. I couldn't make out any more in the moonlight.

His eyes burned into mine. My breath hitched in my throat as we took each other in.

He didn't even blink and I couldn't bring myself to look away.

"Paul..." I whispered, standing up slowly.

A small growl escaped his throat as I did so, frightening me slightly.

Holding on to the tree trunk for support, I pulled myself straight. I took one step forward and stopped, standing before him with my arms by my sides.

"Are you hurt?" I asked him softly.

He didn't reply, just kept looking at my face like he didn't even know me. It hurt.

Taking another step forward, I inhaled a deep breath.

He didn't move, so I took another two steps forward.

I was inches away from his chest now. So close that I could smell him.

Closing my eyes, I inhaled his scent. It turned my senses dizzy and I let out a tiny mewling sound.

I looked up at him to find him staring into my eyes once again.

My heart felt like it was battering against my ribcage. His breath tickled my skin.

Cautiously, I lifted my hand up and placed it gently on his bicep. I felt him tense under my touch, but his eyes still didn't leave mine.

"Paul. Where are you?" I whispered, desperately searching his eyes for some kind of emotion.

Suddenly, the trees above us shook violently.

Before I knew it, I found myself pressed up against the tree trunk behind us with Paul standing protectively before me.

"It was just a birds.." I whispered, placing my hand on his shoulder.

I could feel him shaking slightly under my touch.

Before I could recall what was happening, my arms were above my head as he pressed himself into me. I stilled as his nose ghosted the spot that belonged to him on my neck. I tried my hardest not to release a moan, but I couldn't help myself.

At the sound of my enjoyment, a low rumble erupted from his mouth as his breath tickled my ear. I felt my knees getting weaker. Obviously he did to as he dropped to his knees, steadying me at the waist.

I was taken aback as his arm wrapped around my waist. His head pressed to my stomach as he began to weep quietly. I ran my fingers through his hair as he cried.

I couldn't help it. I let my tears go too.

"Bella" he sobbed.

My cries caught in my throat as my heart warmed completely. I clenched my eyes tight shut, still running my fingers through his hair.

I had my wolf back.

I unwrapped his arm from around my waist and lowered myself to my knees. Coming face to face with him, his beautiful eyes locked with mine.

"I missed you so fucking much" I whimpered, stroking his cheek with the back on my hand.

"I missed you" He told me. His voice ripped through me as he pressed his forehead against mine.

Unable to wait any longer for contact, I pressed my lips to his. And it was heavenly.

I felt his fingers tangle in my hair as I swept my tongue along his bottom lip. He immediately opened his mouth to my awaiting tongue. Our tongues danced together slowly as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

He pulled me closer to him as I shuffled onto his lap, my legs straddling his. I breathed out a sigh of contentment as his heat engulfed me. Slowly tipping my head back, he traced his finger along the hollow of my neck.

I waited in anticipation for his touch as I felt his hot breath melting my cold, alabaster skin.

His lips pressed to my flesh gently. I tugged at the hair at the nape of his neck slightly, mewling as he assaulted my neck with his mouth.

"Oh god..." I moaned, feeling the wetness pooling between my thighs.

As he kissed my scar, he pushed the straps of my tank top over my shoulders exposing my skin to cold air. I couldn't feel the cold now though. Not now that he was here with me.

The material fell straight to my waist, revealing my breasts to him. His lips immediately pecked gently across my collar bone and down to my chest. As he took my nipple into his mouth, I gasped in awe. His touch felt amazing.

I ran my fingers across his shoulder blades, feeling the muscles shudder as I went. As he sucked harder on my breast, I dug my fingernails in slightly. He growled heavily and flipped me onto my back.

He was above me in a flash, staring down at me with a look of contentment in his eyes.

"Beautiful..." He muttered, once again assaulting my mouth with his.

He lifted my leg, hitching it around his waist as he rolled his hips against mine.

"Please..." I begged, although I didn't quite know what I was begging for.

My wolfs soft hands ghosted my stomach as he unbuttoned my jeans, pulling them down gently as I lifted my hips to give him a hand.

I watched him as he threw his head back, inhaling deeply. He was breathing in my scent.

Blushing slightly, I took his face in between my palms and pulled him back to my mouth.

I never wanted to go a day without his kiss again. It was delicious. I clawed at his back, silently begging him to take me after all this time.

He must of heard my silent plea because he slowly slid my underwear down over my legs, tossing it to the side.

Positioning himself between my thighs, he stared deep into my eyes.

"All of you always, that's what you told me on the beach. Are you still mine?" He asked me, his voice laced with emotion.

"Always" I whispered back to him, taking his bottom lip between my teeth and sucking on it lightly.

Just as I gave him my answer, he slid himself inside of me and I felt whole again.

We stilled for a moment, just looking into each others eyes. Breathing into each others mouths.

"I love you" I whimpered, feeling the joyous tears escaping my eyes.

"As I love you, my beautiful girl"

With words out of the way, he slowly thrusted himself in and out of my sex. He moved beautifully slowly as he poured his love down onto me.

I arched my back slightly, the feeling of him inside of me shooting me into ecstasy already.

Paul rested his head against my chest as he continued. I could feel his wet breath on my breast as he worked on me.

"Oh god..." I cried, feeling the burn in my stomach.

"Come for me, please" He begged.

I fell apart in his arms immediately, my entire body tingling as he thrust himself into me one more time, spilling his seed.

Coming down from my high, I ran my fingers through his hair once again.

Neither of us moved. Neither of us said a single word.

That was until his breath hitched in his throat as he pressed his ear to my stomach for the second time.

**Okay, so I'm spent lol. I'm so frickin tired. **

**I had to get this out before I went to visit my grandparents this weekend. **

**Please, please, please let me know how I did. **

**And I'm sorry for kind of leaving it on a cliffy. Of course Paul is going to hear his puppies heartbeat and I'm pretty sure he'll tell her almost immediately, so don't worry about that. **

**Thank you for reading xxx**


	34. His Arms

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters. I merely own the plot. Please don't steal it.

Okay, firstly I'm so sorry that it's taken so long. The past few months have been very tough for me and my family. I've also struggled to find any time to really sit and think about my writing. I can't promise to update regularly but I'm going to aim for at least once a week. I hope my readers have stayed with me. I hope you enjoy this very overdue chapter. Thank you for your patience.

_I fell apart in his arms immediately, my entire body tingling as he thrust himself into me one more time, spilling his seed._

_Coming down from my high, I ran my fingers through his hair once again._

_Neither of us moved. Neither of us said a single word._

_That was until his breath hitched in his throat as he pressed his ear to my stomach for the second time_

**Paul POV**

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

A baby?

I could smell it. Him? Her?

I could hear that little heartbeat thudding away.

Mine? My pup?

Everything I'd been through had altered my senses. Made them so much stronger. My emotional connection to the world had faltered a little. I desperately wanted to open my mouth, ask her how long she'd known? How far along was she? But my mouth wouldn't let me.

I lifted my head off of her stomach slowly, turning it slightly so I could look up at her face. She had her eyes closed. Her long lashes flush against her creamy skin. I watched her naked chest for a moment, heaving up and down from the aftershocks of her climax.

God, I'd missed her. So fucking much.

The entire time I'd been apart from her, I had never once forgotten a single perfection or blemish. She looked to me now just like she had looked in my mind every single day of my absence.

Of course in reality, it was obvious that she'd shed far too much weight. I had noticed her rubs jutting out far more than they used to. I would feed her. I would make her better.

"Hmm.." I heard her sigh as she lifted her arms above her head, pushing up those beautiful creamy breasts.

Bella reached for her vest top and slipped it over her head before gently nudging my head away from her stomach. Sitting up, she pulled the vest top down over her torso and brought her knees up towards her chest almost protectively.

"Are you...okay?" She muttered, her eyes boring into mine.

What could I say to that? I had no idea. My fucking mouth wouldn't let the words out.

I looked straight at her and just shrugged, running my fingers through my hair.

I noticed her shiver slightly. Her lips had turned slightly blue. Of course she was cold. It was freezing out here.

Standing up quickly, I held my hand out to her.

She took it almost immediately, giving me great hope that she trusted me just as much now as she ever did.

Bella buried her face into my chest, taking in the warmth from my body. Instinctively, I pulled her up into my arms bridal style. Wrapping her arms around my neck, she eased into me placing feather light kisses over my chest.

"I didn't think that I'd ever see you again" She whispered.

I felt her ice cold tears trickling onto my warm skin. Pulling her a little closer, I began to walk in the direction that felt right.

We stayed quiet the entire way home. My home. Our home.

_This isn't your home. We don't have a home. _

Ever since I'd escaped the clutches of that crazy bitch, my wolf had been pushing his way into my mind. Trying to take over my thoughts, my actions. The vamp that got me out, Jasper, had told me that I might suffer from post traumatic stress. I laughed him off at the time. I was a man, not a boy. I could handle it. Couldn't I?

Who'd have thought it, huh? The Cullen's saving my ass to keep Bella happy. Well, I could believe that they wanted to keep Bella happy. What I couldn't believe is that they didn't try and rush her off to the other side of the fucking country as soon as they saw the chance. I hated to admit it, but maybe I'd had them pinned down wrong from the beginning. Well, except Eddie. He could go to hell for hurting my girl like he did.

_You need to protect her now. You need to protect your mate. Your cub._

I was thankful that at least on some levels, my wolf and I were on the same page.

As I got closer to the house, a sense of unease ran through me. I could sense my pack brothers. They were waiting for Bella's safe return, for _my _return. I could imagine that they'd be full of questions about what had happened. To be honest, I couldn't even remember half of it. Which I was truly thankful for. I wouldn't wish what I'd been through on my worst enemy.

I felt Bella shiver in my arms. Damn it, she was still cold.

I picked up my pace a little, jogging the rest of the way.

Stepping out of the tree line, I stood before my house. The house I shared with my best friend. Looking at it from the ground up, I was now daunted by the thought of going back inside there. Living in there like everything was okay.

"My god..." I heard a whisper. Jacob.

I walked up to the steps that lead to the porch and stilled.

Emily walked out from behind Jacob, holding out her hands to me. She wanted to take Bella.

A growl emitted from me, warning her that Bella was _mine. _

"Paul...I just want to take her inside to warm her up" She said softly, easing herself towards me.

Cautiously, I placed Bella on her feet. She stumbled a little, whimpering at the loss of my touch but took hold of Emily's shoulder for support. I watched as she let my mate inside and closed the door behind her.

_Protect your mate._

I shoved him back down. Trying to concentrate on _my_ thoughts. Not his.

"Dude..."

Jared.

I looked up at my best friend. My brother. He launched himself towards me, grabbing hold of me by the shoulders with the biggest smile on his face. I could swear I saw tears in his eyes.

"I missed you, bro" He said, before patting me on the back and leading me up the porch steps.

Jacob was next to greet me. He looked nervous but elated.

"It's great to see you, man. You okay?" He asked, looking concerned.

"I guess" I replied, shrugging.

He gave me a quick hug and then moved out of my path.

I took a step forward before the front door swung open. Before me stood my almighty alpha. Only, for some reason, I felt no respect towards him. My wolf wouldn't bow for him. He refused.

"Paul..." Sam whispered.

_He hurt her. Your mate._

My head snapped up immediately.

"Paul, what's the matter bro?" Jared asked, placing his hand on my shoulder.

_He tried to have her. He wants her. Don't let him take her. Protect her. _

My upper lip curled into a snarl as I looked deep into his eyes. I saw guilt. He knew that I saw it.

"You son of a bitch" I growled at him, clenching both of my fists until I felt my overgrown fingernails pierce my skin.

"Calm down, Paul" Sam ordered.

Only my wolf wasn't obeying. Not in the slightest.

_Don't you remember? His lips on hers? Remember what he did to her!_

My wolf was screaming at me. I clenched my jaw and closed my eyes.

I remembered.

Seeing him pressed down on top of her. His fucking lips defiling hers.

It was clear in my mind, her struggling beneath him. Desperately trying to get away from him. Hearing the whimpers in my mind was enough to drive me crazy.

"PAUL! Calm down" He barked.

My eyes shot open as he said so. I could feel my blood boiling, the veins in my arms popping. My wolf wanted out. I needed to get out of my skin. I needed to punish him for what he did to my girl.

"Get Bella" I hear Jacob whisper to Embry.

My gaze never left Sam's face. He took a large stride towards me. His shoulders straight and his head held high. Like he was a fucking God or something. I wanted to rip him apart.

_What are you, weak? Make him pay._

Another growl escaped my mouth. Now visibly shaking, Sam's calm facade faltered a little.

"I'm...going to kill you" I breathed deeply, preparing to let the wolf take over.

I took a step back from him, down onto the grass.

Suddenly the front door flew open and before I knew it, Bella had thrown herself into my arms. Sobbing.

"Please, please stop. Just stop, please" She begged, her breath ragged from the crying.

I wrapped my arms around her tightly, swearing to myself that I'd never let any harm come to her. Not ever.

Looking over her frame, I locked my eyes with Sam's. The bastard had been lucky. I was ready to rip his fucking head off before my love had asked me not to. I couldn't say no to her. I never had been able to but now? I would never be able to.

"Leave" I growled.

He simply nodded his head and did just that.

"Dude...what the fuck just happened?" Embry asked, the question aimed at nobody inparticular.

I took hold of Bella's fragile face with the palms of my hands and pulled her gaze up to meet mine.

"Come on, lets get inside" I whispered, placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

She simply nodded and tucked herself into my side.

I briskly walked up the steps, made my way inside the front door and slammed it behind us. Making it clear that I didn't want to be disturbed. That disgusting animal had tried to claim my mate for his own. My wolf didn't like this. Hell, I fucking hated it.

Bella stood before me, staring down at the floor. My wolf recognised that she was submissing. She thought I was angry with her.

"Bella, look at me" I ordered.

Her eyes travelled slowly up my body. My naked body. Well hell, it hadn't felt uncomfortable for the last few weeks but maybe it was a little off putting whilst in her presence.

I watched as her moist, pink tongue ran across her bottom lip. Her eyes finally reached my face as her breath hitched slightly.

"Everytime I look at you, I just..." She muttered.

I walked towards her slowly, almost stalking her.

_Take her. Show her that she belongs to you. Nobody else. _

Oh I wanted to, but I wanted to do it my way. Desperately trying to push him down, I traced the back of my hand over her shoulder and down the naked flesh of her arm. She shivered at the touch, the goosebumps rising almost immediately.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. I could _smell_ her. Her beautiful nectar.

"Paul?" She questioned softly.

I leaned in closely, pulling her hair gently over one shoulder. The mark that I had left on her was still glistening beautifully.

"Ssshh" I cooed as I leant in to trace my lips over it gently.

I felt her lean into my body as her knees weakened from my actions.

Flicking my tongue out, I traced a line from my mark right up to the shell of her ear. Taking it in between my teeth I tugged at it lightly, emitting the most beautiful sound from her sweet mouth.

Bella gripped her hands against my shoulders as I began peppering kisses along her jawline ending with a playful nip at her bottom lip. She looked up at me, her eyes filled with dirty lust. She lifted her hand to her mouth, running her index finger along her bottom lip as she smiled to herself.

"We have so much to talk..." She started.

"Sssh. Talk later" I told her, covering up her mouth with my hand.

I felt her latch her teeth onto my palm playfully, her eyes glistening naughtily as she winked at me.

The action sent shivers straight to my groin.

I had to have her.

Lifting her up onto my hip, I darted for the bedroom.

"Shouldn't we clean you first, no offence honey but you're pretty filthy" She whispered as she played with the hair at the nape of my neck.

I couldn't help but notice that her words didn't come across as innocently as she'd have liked.

"Filthy, huh? Oh babe..." I groaned, pushing the bathroom door open with my foot.

I sat her down on the toilet seat as I turned the faucet. Piping hot water started gushing out of the shower head.

I turned back to her and kneeled down so that we were face to face. She looked up at me through those beautiful black lashes. The lust was pooling in her eyes. I could see it and I could definitely smell it.

Bella lifted her arms above her head, urging me to undress her.

I inched my fingertips below the hem of her tank top, purposefully brushing gently against her soft skin. She shivered as I slowly pushed it up over her breasts. The sight of those fleshy pink nipples sent my head into a spin.

Leaning my head down towards her chest, I captured one in between my teeth. Tugging at it gently while she gripped my hair with her fingertips.

"Oh god.." She whimpered.

I ran my tongue over it again and again until it was perfectly peaked. I repeated the action with its twin, but this time gently sucking and flicking my tongue over the bud.

Pulling her up against me, I unbuttoned her jeans and pushed them down her slender legs. Standing before me in just a tiny thong, I gripped her thighs as she jumped up to wrap her legs around my naked torso. I could feel her wetness against my skin and the wolf wanted her to rub herself all over him.

I backed up into the shower slowly, letting the water wash over us completely. We stood there for a moment, just looking into each others eyes as the hot water ghosted over our bodies.

Reaching behind me, I slid the shower door shut and walked towards the wall in front of us. A shiver shot through Bella as her naked back came into contact with the cold tiles behind her. I reached around and wrapped the hair at the nape of her neck around my fist. Gently, I pulled her face to meet mine.

Our lips crashed together desperately. I pushed my tongue into her beautifully wet mouth, exploring it like it was the most sensational peach.

I felt her tiny hand wrap its way around my cock, squeezing it firmly, urging me to slid my way into her.

"Fuck..." I groaned, throwing my head back slightly at her actions.

Before I knew it, she unfolded herself from around me and began to slide down the wall behind her. Once she was on her knees, she pushed me up against the glass and began to pump my cock with her soft hands. As I looked down at her, she took it between her pink lips and began to suck gently onto the head before taking my entire length into her mouth.

"Shit baby..." I whispered, gripping her hair with one hand leaving the other to claw hopelessly at the glass behind me.

Feeling myself hitting the back of her throat was too much. I couldn't stand it.

_Take her. Fuck her. _

I couldn't take it, I had to give in.

His order overpowered my senses as I pulled her up by her shoulders and spun her around to face the wall. Running my cock along her sweet cheeks, I lowered my lips to her ear.

"I'm going to fuck you, Bella"

She simply nodded profusely as I opened up her lips to accommodate me.

Sliding my cock into her folds, she gasped in awe as I filled her. She was still so tight. Still the most beautiful pussy .

I placed one of my arms around her chest, holding her to me firmly as I pumped my way in and out of her.

"Oh...fuck" She cried.

Using my free hand, I gripped the back of her neck. She bared it to me immediately, knowing exactly what I wanted from her. Perfect mate.

Speeding up my thrusts, I was struggling to keep myself in check.

"Fuck Bella, I don't think I can hold out..." I groaned.

She just pushed her backside against me, grinding her hips in the most torturous way. I could feel her muscles start to contract as she began to come undone.

Grabbing hold of her hips with both hands, I slammed my cock into her at a tremendously high speed. I watched her as she reached up for something to hold on to. The sight of her clawing at the tiled wall had my head spinning. The water cascading over her back as she writhed against me.

"Come for me" I ordered.

And she did.

Harder than she ever had before. I could feel her juices gushing over my cock and down onto the shower floor.

With one more powerful thrust, I spilled everything I had inside of her. I continued to stroke myself within her softly for a few more seconds before stilling completely.

The sound of the water hitting the floor was mixed with our ragged breaths. I pulled her towards me so that her back was flush against my chest. Sliding down the shower wall, I brought her with me so that we were sitting underneath the water.

I wrapped my arms around her torso as she rested her head against my arm.

Gently, I began to stroke her abdomen protectively.

I heard a sigh of contentment escape her lips before she spoke.

"I'm carrying your child, aren't I?"

**So? Tell me how I did? **

**I really hope you all enjoyed.**


	35. Back To What We Know

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. All I own is the plot. ENJOY.**

I wrapped my arms around her torso as she rested her head against my arm.

Gently, I began to stroke her abdomen protectively.

I heard a sigh of contentment escape her lips before she spoke.

"I'm carrying your child, aren't I?"

**Bella POV**

"Paul?" I asked again, a little more firmly this time.

He continued to stroke my belly softly as he nuzzled his face into my neck.

"I'm going to take that as a yes" I whispered.

I knew something was up. Of course Pauls absense had a physical effect on me anyway. I was sick to death with worry. I just didn't pick up on my lack of periods and the chronic sickness that I'd endured. Now it all made sense. I was immediately filled with an immense amount of happiness.

If you'd told me two weeks ago that I'd be sitting here, Paul's arms around me, pregnant with his child...well, I'd have laughed at you. Or given the state of my emotions back then, slapped you for having the audacity to even suggest it.

"I can hear it Bella. The heartbeat. It's so beautiful." He mumbled in my ear.

My own heartbeat fluttered at hearing that but then the panic of how I'd been treating my body in the last few weeks caught up with me.

I shifted forward and pulled myself out of pauls grasp.

"Is it okay? The baby? Does it sound okay? Oh Paul, I've barely been eating. I've lost so much weight. Oh god, how could I do this to myself? And the baby?" I sobbed.

Paul sat up on his knees and took my face softly between the palms of his hands, gently pulling my gaze up to meet his.

"Hey, its okay. Our pup sounds like she's doing fine. I promise. We'll go to the medical centre tomorrow and get you checked out thoroughly though. See how far along you are...when she's due" He reassure me.

"She, huh?" I giggled, wiping my tears away with the backs of my hands.

"Yeah, she. I'm sure of it. Now, lets get you dressed. You're freezing your little ass off in here." He nudged, pulling me up from the floor and wrapping me in a towel.

I leant into his embrace as he dried me off with another towel, resting my head on his chest. It still hadn't sunk in that he was back here with me. My Paul. I would never let him go again.

After I'd finally managed to pull myself away from him for five minutes, I went back to the bedroom and pulled on a loose fitting tank top and a pair of simple leggings. Towel drying my hair, I picked up Pauls basketball shorts and threw them to him in the bathroom.

"Hey, Meraz! That beard has GOT to go. Put those on and I'll be in to fix your face up" I yelled, laughing to myself at how normal things seemed to be so quickly after his return.

I quickly ran a comb through my hair and pulled a plain black cardigan over my shoulders.

"Right, I hope you're decent!" I laughed, walking into the bathroom.

Pushing the door open, I found him staring into the mirror. He looked like he was miles away.

In this light I could finally see some of his injuries. Setting my eyes upon his shoulders, I saw the bite marks. Dozens and dozens of them. All tainting his beautiful, golden skin. My heart was heavy just looking at them. I couldn't even begin to imagine what he'd been through for me. For his friends. For everyone.

"Oh my god" I thought out loud.

He snapped out of his trance and spun round to face me. I could see so much pain in his eyes. It broke my heart in a second. Rushing over to him, I pulled him into my small arms.

"We need to talk about what happened, honey." I urged him softly, pushing him down onto the toilet seat.

He looked up at me and nodded. He looked completely defeated.

Turning back to the sink, I took a razor out of the cabinet and the shaving gel from the shelf next to the towel rack. I filled the sink up with warm water and squirted some gel into the palm of my hand.

Lathering it up, I smothered it on his chin all the way up along his jawline.

"So baby, can we talk about what happened?" I asked him cautiously.

"Ask me what you will and I'll try to answer it if I...well, if I can" he shrugged.

I took the blade to his face and began to swiftly stroke it against his face.

"What did they do..to you?" I gulped, not entirely knowing that I wanted to hear the answer.

I continued shaving him as he took a few deep breaths.

"I...They wanted to make me hurt. The first time, I thought I was dying. Almost wished I was. Knowing that I could never come back to you was soul destroying in itself. I kept on waking up, I think she wanted it that way. Everytime I woke, she would bit me once more. I couldn't do anything to stop her. Nothing..."

My hands were shaking as I continued to groom him. Dipping the razor into the sink to wash off the excess, I turned back to him and planted a soft kiss on his forehead.

"When did Edward come?" I asked, not knowing how to feel about Edward being a part of the situation. What had gone on between the two of them in that hell hole?

"I don't know how long I'd been down there when he appeared. I can't lie to you Bella. When I saw him, I just wanted to tear his pretty fucking head off. He'd insisted from the second he got there that he wanted to help me out of her. Made it clear of course that it was for your benefit. Not mine. It took me a long time to actually believe that disgusting leech. He told me that he had a plan. That he wanted to gain the redheads trust before he made his move. Said that his family were coming to help. I still didn't believe him." He explained, evidently feeling more comfortable talking about this than his own personal torture.

"What made you trust him?" I asked, finishing the shave and grabbing a hand towel from the rack behind me.

"We have one thing in common, Bella. You. We both love you. God, it makes me sick to think that he still wants you...but we both want whats best for you."

I nodded, shivering at the thought of Edward wanting me back. I could never leave Paul. Whether it was for Edward or not. I would never.

I wiped all of the excess shaving cream from his face before splashing a small amount of cold water on his cheeks.

"Hey! Watch it! I'll get you back for that" He winked playfully.

He had gone from a feral wolf to being my man all in the space of a couple of hours. I guess somehow I had done that?

"I don't want to keep nagging you but...what happened after that? How did you get out?" I asked, sitting myself down in his lap. Pulling me close to him as he nuzzled his face in my hair, he began to explain.

"It felt like I'd been trapped down there forever before his family did as he'd promised. Edward had been...entertaining the redhead for a few hours. How he could ever bring himself to stick it in that bitch is beyond me. Anyway, I was starting to give up hope. Becoming certain that I'd never see you again. Thats when he came. Jasper. Gotta say Bella, I kinda like him..." He trailed off, smiling to himself.

"What?" I nudged, biting his shoulder softly.

"He told me that you two had always been close...that he never thought you and Edward were right for eachother. The kid can fight too. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have made it out of there. He carried me through that cave on his back while fighting off a dozen leeches. If I'd been in any state, I'd have high fived him"

"Kid? Honey, he's over one hundred years older than you" I winked.

"Alright shorty! No need to make a man feel inadequate" He joked.

I settled back into his arms as he finished the final part of his tale. 

"When we finally got out...I was incontrollable. I didn't know what I was doing. It had been so long since my wolf had been able to get out. We hunted together. I guess you could say we bonded in a weird way. I really need to thank him for what he did back there. Then we came back...and thats when I saw you with Sam"

I could feel his skin trembling and a low growl erupted from his throat.

"Okay. Thats enough. Lets not go into it. Are you hungry? I could make you something? You know, the guys would really like to see you. I could see they were pretty bummed when you asked them to leave" I suggested.

I hopped up out of his lap and washed my hands at the basin. Looking at his reflection in the mirror, I could see he felt slight guilt.

"They're still outside. They're worried I'll hurt you. I'm sure they think I'm unstable or something. I can't blame them. Hey, why don't you whip up whatever you can with whats in the house. I'm certain Jared hasn't bothered with groceries. He never did. I'll go on out and invite them in."

I nodded happily as I made my way out of the bathroom and into the kitchen.

"Oh and babe?" He called out behind me.

"Yeah?" I answered, spinning around on my heel.

"You're going to make an incredible mother" I beamed at that.

"And you my man, will make a badass father" I winked.

With that, I skipped into the kitchen to try and create a feast fit for a king. Because afterall, my wolf was my king.

**I'm sorry I've taken SO long to update this story. I'm also sorry that this is so short. I wanted to write a chapter solely for the purpose of Bella and Paul reconnecting again. I felt it was necessary. Life has been completely up in the air over the past few months. Hopefully I can begin to update regularly again. This story is coming to a close now. I only plan for there to be a few more chapters left. Four at most. So hang tight a little longer. I'd really appreciate it if you'd all review. Having not written anything for this in a while I'm not sure if its still going in the direction you all hoped. **

**Thanks for reading! **


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